Before I know it, I'm almost 50 years old. Facing the fear of aging, who can share my feelings?

Facing the fear of aging, everyone will have it.

At sunset, many old people spontaneously gathered in the park to discuss topics of concern. Shanghai, 20 17

How to grow old: Are you afraid of an aging life?

order

Recently, when many media and new media reported on Jia's new film "Where is the Time?", they all took his words as the title: Only aging is incurable. Although the content of the article is more about movies, the title left a deep impression on me, and the meaning here is clear-aging is the ultimate disease of human beings.

Teacher Ma Zhencheng, the translator, showed us Montaigne's prose translated by him. /kloc-Michel de Montaigne, a French philosopher in the 6th century, wrote an interesting essay "On Life": "People will encounter all kinds of accidents in the natural environment, which will suddenly interrupt their expected life ... and then die. This is a rare, special and unusual death, not as good as other natural deaths; This is the last ultimate death. It is the farthest from us, so it is also the hardest thing for us to expect. " This is the concept of life and death more than 400 years ago, but as human beings get farther and farther away from nature, it has become the norm to live to be "old and weak", at least in more developed countries and regions.

Shen Meiying, 88, retired at the time of shooting. Shanghai, 20 13

Day care centers for the elderly arrange activities for the elderly. Shanghai, 20 13

In the 2 1 century, aging is one of the most common physical experiences, and most people cannot avoid this process regardless of gender, race, culture, beliefs and social roles. In people's usual ideas, there is always an unspeakable regret. The imaginary image of "beauty dying" behind the "faint sadness" written by literati is actually a cruel metaphor, that is, old age is the opposite of all "valuable things": youth, beauty and strength ... In Yang's documentary "The Old Man" in 2000, the director boldly broke the metaphor behind aging. Day after day, this picture can't be said to be miserable.

Old photos. Shanghai, 20 12

After all, aging is not only wrinkles or muscle relaxation, but also slower body response and more and more drugs. It is also a repositioning of status and role. In the family, elderly parents have changed from suppliers to dependents, although in the city, a large proportion of elderly groups do not need the financial support of their children, but rely more on their spiritual care. In society, after the old people leave their jobs, they inevitably lose part of their right to speak. Therefore, the possibility of living to be old and weak is not the luck that people can't get, but the experience that people are afraid of early. Moreover, the mass media are still spreading this fear intentionally or unintentionally. From bitter information such as "loneliness" and "staying behind" to the use of mocking or self-deprecating thermos cups, the word "old" has become a diffuse panic.

Wu Peizhen, 79 years old at the time of shooting, retired. Shanghai, 20 12

"I know I have cancer, and I endure it. (Hope) God accepts me ... I want to save my soul, in the final analysis. "

Smooth as a cat. Shanghai, 20 17

Rao Ruping, who was 95 years old at the time of shooting, retired, recalled the past in the form of cartoons after his lover died, and published Ru Ping Meitang: Our Story. Shanghai, 20 17

"About life and death, I am ready for death. Death is one thing, too. Be prepared for important events in life. After my wife died, I bought a grave and the tombstone was carved, but her ashes were never buried. I told the children that after I died, I would mix my ashes with those of my wife and bury them in the same cave. But I've seen two people's ashes not fit in (a grave). What should I do? I said, put our ashes together, bring half of them in, and scatter the other half on the Huangpu River ... If someone else writes the elegiac couplet of the memorial service, it may not be to my liking, so I wrote it myself-I should laugh for this life-I told the children that I am dead, don't cry, I am very lucky, I am 95 years old, I should laugh. "

psychology

I dare not say that Mr. Rao Ruping is not afraid of death. I don't think anyone in this world can really be afraid of death-that's also a kind of awe of life. However, I chose to accept the fact that I will die. I think Mr. Rao Ruping leads a more interesting life and there is nothing to avoid, so he has the initiative in his own life. At the age of 94 (interview time: 20 17), he sat in front of the electronic piano and insisted on playing a song for us. The piano is filled with all kinds of trophies he won. He knows very well: "I can't play well. They encouraged me to play the piano at that age, so I was awarded the' Music Dream Award'. " After years of baptism, the former battlefield has long gone, and the former comrades-in-arms have also left one by one. If it weren't for this positive attitude, how could we have such a wonderful life in our later years? Wu, who also has a positive attitude towards life, teaches herself to draw, and even Chinese medicine wrapping paper can be used as her drawing paper. Peony, pumpkin, vine ... these plants that she can see from the window are in full bloom in her works. In his early years, he dropped out of school because of the hardships of the times and even life, and eventually became a red flower and green leaf in his works, which was fresh in his memory and no longer sad. "If I'm really my age and I'm dying, living a day is equivalent to earning a day."

Wu, who was 83 years old when shooting, taught himself to paint after retirement. During her recovery from cancer, she sold her property and donated it to Hope Primary School. Shanghai, 20 12

"My life, the fortune teller said before that my life is bumpy and not smooth ... I always feel that I can bear it psychologically and habitually. If I don't succeed, I will come again for the second time. If I don't get angry and anxious for the second time, I will always succeed. However, the best result is that I find that there is often a dead end here, with suspicious mountains and rivers and no roads, and there is another village. I already feel that there is no road ahead, and then I will pass, so I don't worry. I already know that if I can't get through, I can't get through, and the sky is falling. This is my mentality. "

Handwritten old music scores. Shanghai, 20 12

At the time of shooting, Shen was 9 1 year old. Illiteracy, she believes in God. In order to read the Bible, she began to learn to read. When she was filming, she lived in a church-sponsored nursing home in the suburbs. Shanghai, 20 13

study

Fei Henian, 97, and Xu Manqian, 96 (interview time: 20 12) both graduated from Shanghai Jiaotong University in their early years. One is very curious and the other is very practical. At the age of 73, Fei Lao went to the United States to visit relatives, and "incidentally" went to college, majoring in American history. At a coffee party spontaneously organized by old alumni of Jiaotong University, these old people who graduated in 1930s and 40s were full of energy and even made young people feel ashamed. I thought that the ability to accept new things would naturally decline after the new year, but I didn't expect such a group of old people to be very skilled in the operation of new things such as the Internet, Photoshop and Skype. Perhaps, the ability to accept new things has little to do with age, but it has something to do with early learning ability and curiosity? I can't help thinking, can our generation of young people in the "network age" accept the newer times and things like these old people when they are old? What matters is not that you can operate mobile phones and computers now, but whether you have the ability to learn-this is the foundation that will not be eliminated with the changes of the times.

Fei Henian (right) and Xu Manqian (left), aged 97 and 96 respectively, were filmed. Shanghai, 20 13

"Anyway, the times are progressing, and you should follow the progress of the times. We are like this and must keep pace with the times. " —— Fei Henian

Jin Bocheng, 88 years old when shooting. He was the first deputy general manager of Squibb Shanghai Company in China and the United States. Shanghai, 20 12

Chen (left) and (right) were 88 and 87 years old when they were filmed. As famous translators, the couple's translated works include Maltese Black Hawk, The Godfather, Sons and Lovers, Dating Samara, Selected Short Stories of Caldwell, Selected Plays of Odets and The Legend of Narnia. Besides, Chen also translated All My Sons by arthur miller and Cats on a Hot Tin Roof by tennessee williams, and co-translated Tom Thayer's Going Abroad, Gone with the Wind, The Collection of Short Stories by Poe, The Complete Works of Hemingway's Short Stories (Volume I), A New Theory of Eugene O 'Neill's Plays, etc. Shanghai, 20 17

Zhang Zhi was 88 years old when shooting. The first generation of female announcers in New China still often participate in various performances. Shanghai, 20 17

Wu's paintings, Shanghai 20 12.

Be content with your own destiny

Both Fei Lao and Lao Xu experienced turbulent times, but Fei Lao repeatedly told us: "Don't talk about the past." Although there is no trace of the past in husband and wife's life, this cautious attitude may be an indelible mark left by years. When the couple were intoxicated with the old song "Silver Thread in Golden Thread" played on the iPad, they hummed a few words from time to time, and that kind of satisfaction with life was really touching. As Fei Lao said, "Just remember that today is mine, who cares about tomorrow!" Similarly, Zhang, who once taught in a primary school, said that the suffering left by the times made him unwilling to watch TV programs that recorded relevant history. "I feel very happy now. Just have a good day today, I am happy every day, regardless of tomorrow! " Ma Zhen hired a teacher who translated many Montaigne's works, and quoted Montaigne's words: The greatest happiness is neither physical pain nor ideological surprise. "There are many happy things in the world. If you want to touch everything, it's impossible. I advocate letting happy things find you, not desperately pursuing it. "

"Life is like a river. Until the last day, people don't know how they will end. " ? Ma Zhen hired a teacher to describe his understanding of age in this way. Everything has not come to an end, and it is still inconclusive. This certainty can be felt in many conversations with the elderly. Although they are old, they are not in a hurry. "Young people nowadays are too energetic!" Ma joked. Although "I don't like it", Ma Lao can take it in stride. In his heart, he believes that time will leave something worth leaving and wash away those impurities. It's only a matter of time. Academician Zheng Shiling recalled that when he was young, "there were fewer opportunities and fewer temptations. Now the times are different." Perhaps it is because they didn't have many choices in the past that they are now more indifferent to the gains and losses and intricacies of life. They have a normal heart for the past and the present. No one really feels "great" and no one really cares about the sufferings of the past era. It seems that their life should be like this. If they accept their fate, they will have inner stability and be able to live with their hearts.

Ma Zhencheng was 82 years old when shooting. A French translator who is still working. Shanghai, 20 16

"So that is to say, you can not, right? So (Montaigne's philosophy) advises people to treat life calmly ... what is the best thing he said? (I think it is this sentence. ) Death is possible for anyone. A 70-year-old person may not die earlier than a 30-year-old person. "

Zheng Shiling was 7 1 year old at the time of shooting. Architects and planners. Shanghai, 20 12

"When I was young, I always looked around on my way abroad. When I am old, I am in no hurry. I would rather sit down and have a cup of coffee than go to see the scenery in a hurry. "

Betty Barr, 79 years old when shooting. An Englishman went through a Japanese concentration camp in Shanghai when he was in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression. He worked as a foreign teacher at Shanghai International Studies University until he retired in the 1970s and obtained a permanent residence permit in China. He thought he was "rooted in Shanghai". Shanghai, 20 12

"As long as you have interesting things to do, you are healthy, and you make some friends of the same age or younger, it's no big deal to get old!"

individual

Most of this generation of old people have experienced that turbulent era, which has different effects on everyone. Some lucky people who are "born well" suffer less. But whether they join the army or work in state-owned enterprises, they may not have any "selfishness" until the reform and opening up, or even until they retire at home. Xiao Xingwei, who is engaged in fabric pattern design in Shanghai No.7 Printing and Dyeing Factory, 1960 entered the Shanghai Academy of Fine Arts and was a classmate with the great painter Chen Yifei. He also studied oil painting and Chinese painting. When he graduated, he was assigned to a printing and dyeing factory and began his "arts and crafts" career of painting six patterns every month. Besides flowers, he painted terraces, tractors and the radiant Tiananmen Square. "These are all political needs and should serve the workers, peasants and soldiers." It was not until 2005 that he picked up a brush for the first time to "paint for himself". This is something he didn't dare to think about in the past. "When we were in the unit, we were all country people. Now I belong to myself. I can draw whatever I want. I am completely free and open, no one cares about me! "

Xiao Xingwei was 74 years old when shooting. After retiring from the printing and dyeing industry, he regained his brush, painted for himself and held many art exhibitions. Shanghai, 20 13

Shao Jinhua, 80 years old when shooting. When I was young, I was an engineer at Shanghai Shipyard and an expert in propeller manufacturing. After retirement, I like to be a model ship. Shanghai, 20 12

group

Step into the Renaissance Yuyuan Hotel near the Bund, take the elevator to the top floor, then go through a small door and climb the stairs. You can vaguely hear melodious music. The music is getting clearer and clearer. You go to the bar upstairs and a group of well-dressed old people are dancing. The bands and singers on the stage are all elderly people. A tall and graceful grandmother caught our attention. She used to be a PE teacher at school, and her family was not in China. The monthly gathering in this bar is undoubtedly an important social gathering for her. Like her, most old people like to live in groups. In the cafe on Urumqi Middle Road 19 19, the old alumni of Shanghai Jiaotong University often get together and meet for breakfast. There are also old people who have found a new circle of friends because of their personal interests after retirement. For example, Zhang, who loves cycling, is now dealing with old people who like cycling as much as he does. Gu Rumei, who once went from a rich boy to a female worker in a cigarette factory, has started a writing salon at home since she took a writing class at the university for the aged and held activities twice a week, becoming the "hostess of the salon". Even Cao Peng, who always says that he doesn't have time, usually works alone and doesn't associate with his peers, may also like to communicate with young people and children who are several decades younger than himself. Standing in the crowd may be the moment when he finds himself.

From 2 pm every Sunday, Hawaiian dance on the top floor of Renaissance Shanghai Yuyuan Garden has become an important social place for "Old Koehler". Shanghai, 20 17

Hawaiian dance star. Shanghai, 20 17

Hawaiian dance. Shanghai, 20 17

Gu Rumei was 85 years old when shooting. I took a writing class at the University for the Aged and published my autobiography. Shanghai, 20 12

Shanghai University for the Aged. Shanghai, 20 12

Hongkou Park (Luxun Park) is rich in old people's ecology. In the afternoon, some old people bring musical instruments to play, which always causes some onlookers. Shanghai, 20 17

In Hongkou Park, some old people spontaneously formed different "societies" and acted in different areas of the park. The old man practicing erhu occupied the bench outside the teahouse. Shanghai, 20 17

An old man plays badminton in Hongkou Park. Shanghai, 20 17

Fuxing Park, once the largest park in Shanghai Concession and the most famous French park in this city, has now become a favorite place for fashionable old people. Shanghai, 20 17

The "Longevity Choir" in Fuxing Park is undoubtedly a business card. Many old people who moved to the suburbs because of demolition travel across the city to participate in chorus every day. They have full-time accompaniment and conductor, and some people are responsible for copying music by hand. Shanghai, 20 17

The lawn of Fuxing Park is the "territory" of saxophone learners. Shanghai, 20 17

On the central avenue of Fuxing Park, there is an old man practicing Tai Chi at one end. Shanghai, 20 17

At the other end of Fuxing Park Avenue, old people dance in pairs. Shanghai, 20 17

undertaking

"Retirement" may be a new word for some old people. Cao Jingxing, who just entered Gu Xi this year (interview time: 20 17), is a well-known host and recently participated in the coverage of the "two sessions". As for "old", in fact, as early as 2005, Cao Jingxing had already felt it. That summer, he went to Tsinghua University to film the freshmen's military training. A little girl greeted him with "Grandpa" when she saw him. That was the first time he was called that. Nevertheless, Cao Jingxing's enthusiasm for work is no less than that of young people. In 2009, at the age of 62, he resigned from Phoenix Satellite TV and decided to "go it alone": Internet radio commentator, TV special correspondent, school guidance expert, running 15 countries a year to shoot TV programs ... This old "freelancer" has a lot of work! These are not enough. Every morning or late at night, when you open your circle of friends, you can always see a friend nicknamed "Lao Cao" brushing the screen. More than 50 or even nearly 100 forwarding messages are Cao Lao's latest experiment-"I think WeChat can also be a channel, which is hosted by me alone." He will concentrate on forwarding what he thinks is worth seeing every day, which has been practiced for nearly two years. According to his estimation, the time spent on WeChat can be five or six hours every day. Of course, he knows how to use his spare time.

Cao Jingxing was 70 at the time of shooting. Moderator: Distinguished Professor of Shanghai International Studies University. Shanghai, 20 17

"I eat quickly and don't need too many complicated things. My food is simple, my clothes are simple, and my life is not burdensome. I spend the rest of my time in this study, which is my biggest and most extravagant thing. "

Zheng Deren, a bass player who is over 80 years old, conducts bass performances for weekly radio concerts in Shanghai Concert Hall. In the early 1990s, when the Peace Hotel Bar resumed receiving foreign guests, he participated in the formation of an old jazz band. Shanghai, 20 15

Ma Zhen, an 82-year-old teacher who is also busy in the front line (interview time: 20 16), is an important French translator in China. After retirement, he also translated simone de beauvoir's The Dead Man, and he is famous for translating Montaigne's works. "Montaigne once said that you don't know how you ended until the last day." Probably because of this spiritual pillar, Ma Lao writes at his desk every day.

The 92-year-old conductor Cao Peng (interview time: 20 17) is still active in the front line of work. With the support of his daughter, he established the Shanghai City Symphony Orchestra (hereinafter referred to as "Cheng Jiao") to guide non-professional music lovers and children. "When I'm not working, my mind is full of music." At a performance in Hangzhou two years ago, he felt exhausted for the first time, but he was in a wheelchair with a needle hanging, and he had to go on stage to conduct. At the climax of the performance, Cao Peng suddenly stood up excitedly, and a local photojournalist took this touching scene. I'm afraid many young people can't match this persistent pursuit of career. Sometimes, I can't help thinking, are these wise old people unwilling to stop working, are they enjoying their work or are they afraid of the loneliness of stopping? Maybe both?

motive

"Never give in to quality, never give in to style" is Cao Peng's life principle. It is no wonder that although he is a non-professional orchestra, the level of urban communication he directs is no less than that of some professional orchestras. In the interview, the serious attitude of the old people towards everything was touching. Before visiting Academician Zheng Shiling, a Chinese architectural expert, he was 765,438+0 years old (interview time: 2065,438+02), and he had sent us an article about himself, so that we could know in advance. He read the interview outline carefully in advance and printed it out. The principle of "you must do what you promise others" has never changed in him. Not long ago, I saw Academician Zheng Shiling listening to the work reports of two curators at the Shanghai Urban Space Art Season Exhibition held at the Minsheng Wharf in Pudong. That is by no means "going out" or "taking selfies" to send friends. Compared with many "efficient" young translators, the experienced professor in Mazhen only translates two or three pages a day. In order to ensure the accuracy of translation, don't worry. "I have to be persistent, do it every day, do it every day." The rigor of academic research and the attitude of hard work have been passed down from generation to generation.

Cao Peng was 92 at the time of shooting. Conductor. Shanghai, 20 17

"Being with music, young people and family is the source of my happiness ... I am tired every day, harvesting every day and enjoying every day."

time

Cao Lei, a famous voice actor, was contacted in March of 20 17, and it was the end of June of 10 when I actually rang her doorbell with my camera. Cao Lei, a 77-year-old teacher (interview time: 20 17), is very busy. Although she retired from Shanghai Film Translation Studio, she continues to speak for the translated films-although people in big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai are used to watching the original films with subtitles, there are still people watching the translated films in second-and third-tier cities. In addition, Teacher Cao returned to the stage of drama, and her performance of Soong Ching Ling was physically and mentally hurt. As the reading heats up, Cao Lei has been invited to read on stage. Together with Russian pianist Andrey Pisarev, she also developed the forms of cooperation between recitation and music, from Tchaikovsky's Four Seasons Suite to Chopin's One Night. Cao Lei led China audience into the Russian music world through recitation before the concert. In a recent performance, Cao Lei used the prize money she won in a TV program to buy tickets for the children of Shanghai School for the Blind. She said that these blind children are actually the best listeners.

At Cao Lei's teacher's house, she took out her calendar, and it can be seen that 10 month is almost full. In order to give her an occasional rest, her husband Li Deming had to plan their trip two months in advance. For example, in the past July, they spent two weeks cruising in the Mediterranean. Anyone who walks into Cao Lei's house will first be attracted by the magnetic plate on the porch, which is covered with refrigerator stickers collected from places of interest all over the world, which is the harvest of their travel. Behind the busyness is Cao Lei's treasure of time. In many media reports, she is called "a person who has lived for two lifetimes". In the early 1980s, when Cao Lei had just recovered from the ten-year catastrophe and returned to her beloved acting career, she was actually diagnosed with malignant tumor. During the operation and hospital rehabilitation, Cao Lei tried to find some happiness with her patients, but after leaving the hospital, she still had a sense of urgency about life. At that time, the unit planned to take care of her illness, but she asked to be transferred to Shanghai Film Translation Factory as a full-time voice actor to continue her passionate behind-the-scenes career.

Regarding people's imagined vision of earning enough money to retire early, Teacher Cao Lei asked, "What will you do after retirement?" -"When I got cancer in my 40 s, I thought my life was over, but I didn't expect to have a lifetime behind me." For these "feelings are picked up" time, she believes that it must be spent on things that are really worthwhile. "It's like finding something back, it will be particularly precious, and it will be for a few hours, but is the precious time used to lie down all day and try to eat well? -Too much, high blood sugar. Therefore, living is interesting. If you want to do something, you will feel that you have not spent a day. "

Cao Lei was 77 years old at the time of shooting. Famous voice actor. Shanghai, 20 17

"I am engaged in sound art. At this age, as long as I can do it myself, I will try my best to do what I want to do, and I have no chance to do it in the past ... I think it is interesting to live and do something to feel that a day is not wasted."

Cao Lei's calendar. Shanghai, 20 17

I wrote the above words in three parts: preface, text and time. The middle part was written by Li Jun. For the form of this report, we originally had a higher goal-similar to the Sochi project: an atlas, which was completed by photographer Rob Hornstra and writer and filmmaker Arnold Van Bruggen on October 20, 2009. Causality between war and tourism), but unfortunately, in the end, we can only do what we are doing now. In fact, everyone's story is far more than just a few words written. I hope to have time to settle down and write more interesting and inspiring content.