Outside, I am looked down upon by others, treated as a fool or even a fool, and it is useless whenever others say that I am too honest and stupid behind my back. I am myself. ...

I don't think you are what they call a fool,

I feel that you lack self-confidence, and the long-term pressure makes your heart dark.

Think more about happy things. If what you say is true, I'm sure your mother in heaven doesn't want you to do this either.

Be confident and show them.