Five types of husbands and wives

"One boat for ten years, one pillow for a hundred years." Will become husband and wife, in addition to love, but also need fate. Searching all over the world, how can I meet him? Is marriage destined to be in the dark? Not only are all beings confused, but even those who study Buddhism are equally confused.

However, why after marriage, some are sweet and happy, some are "not enemies", and some can live a lifetime according to their own beliefs? Today, let's discuss the types of husband-wife relationship and explain the characteristics of each type. Knowing the type of relationship between husband and wife is not a negative cognition and fate. We think we should live a sad life. On the contrary, when facing each other's problems, we should actively seek solutions and be kind to each other. Arguments and quarrels are inevitable. If we can keep a rational attitude, communicate sincerely, understand each other and not hold grudges (in a way, we will hold grudges against others because we have problems. If we can learn compassion, other people's misunderstandings and satires can be regarded as "illusory" and problems will always be solved. Afraid of "subjective identification" and "making things out of nothing", I can't communicate, I can't make sense, I don't admit my mistakes and apologize, I only blame each other for everything, and the problem will probably never be solved.

The types of relationship between husband and wife can be roughly divided into five categories:

1. Honey-loving type: Although the reasons for getting along are different, they all love honey very much and it is difficult to separate. ：

Second, the type of resentment: two people get along, or cold, or quarrel, or hurt, or even kill each other.

Third, the bird's nest type: the relationship between the two is simple but unstable and may be separated at any time.

Fourth, sleek: In addition to feelings, the relationship between two people is usually guaranteed by other factors, such as career, family and life background, so it is still sleek.

Five * * * Cultivation: Besides feelings, there are also religious and spiritual reasons for their relationship.

1. Like the type of honey:

(1) Love between men and women: Both men and women are deeply immersed in lust, which is more than lust. Both sides believe that the only way to express love is to touch honey's body. Modern people have more and more open ideas about love. As long as I like it, why not? Love based on lust is easy to happen.

(2) Respect each other as guests: steady and harmonious. Because the two sides are mature and stable, they can consider each other and are not self-centered, so there are fewer disputes when they get along. This is love based on maturity.

(3) Sweet as glue: The two are as sweet as glue, but they are more dependent on each other in character and lack independence. Feelings are interdependent. This is love based on interdependence.

(4) Fathers are like women: there is a big age gap between men and women. Men are old, reliable and steady, while women are young, dependent on coquetry and get along like father and daughter. For example, a husband in his fifties and sixties gets along well with his wife in his twenties and thirties, which is love based on "caring".

(5) Flying with me: Because of the same personality and ideals, we can also cooperate with each other, just like flying with me, knowing each other and cherishing each other and working hard for the ideal goal. Although there are setbacks, we can work together, so this is love based on "ideal".

(6) Mutual appreciation type: Both men and women may be equally down and out, or both are ambitious and unable to display their talents, or both are born in poverty, so they understand each other. Appreciate each other, join hands with each other and work together. This is love based on mutual understanding.

(7) Deep ocean: We have been friends for many years, but we have deep feelings. After years of experience, we both cherish this friendship, so we fell in love from love. On the basis of profound friendship, this love can stand the test of time.

Honey love generally comes from the beautiful karma that has been formed in the past (whether in past lives or in this life), leaving a good feeling, whether it is kindness, love, affection or friendship, leaving a good memory in each other's consciousness or subconscious. From this perspective, laymen should be kind to each other, pay for each other, care about each other and leave a good impression. No matter in this life or in the next, at least when we get along or meet again, we can repay each other's kindness and get along with each other with a good attitude. This is also a "good cycle".

Don't envy others' love, all this is just a "good dream"!

Second, the type of resentment.

(1) Hatred is as deep as the sea: there is a deep hatred between them. In the interaction between the two sides, dissatisfaction, hatred and anger gradually emerged, until "enemies meet, especially jealous", as if hatred had been formed for more than ten years. Maybe they were really enemies in their last life, which is impressive, because some karma made them get married in this life, but once the sweet past, the past grievances will emerge from the subconscious.

(2) Debt collection: It is not a pity that one party consumes the good news of the other. It is common for husbands to work hard and wives to spend money lavishly. Or the wife is frugal, but the husband gambles all his money; Or the wife takes good care of her husband, but lets her idle husband abuse her and dare not say anything. Maybe the same scene existed in the past, but the roles were reversed. Now that time and space have changed, what is owed must always be paid back.

(3) Death-seeking type: one party murdered the other party, but there was no great hatred, perhaps just for a trivial matter, and then the other party was killed by mistake. Couples may have accumulated a lot of frustration and resentment, but they generally don't kill their husbands or wives. However, if there is a cause and effect of killing each other in previous lives and they become husband and wife in this life, it is very likely that they will "beg for mercy" and the consequences will happen intentionally or unintentionally. If you have killed each other, even if you go to the ends of the earth, you will still meet and you will not run away.

(4) Quarrel type: often quarreling over trivial matters, and quarreling as a bee. Maybe they have different opinions, different habits, or love quarreling (some even regard quarreling as a sport). Anyway, it is common to have a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every five days. Open social news, examples can be seen everywhere. Fighting, throwing sulfuric acid, running away from home and jumping off a building because of quarreling are also problems in modern society. If there is a quarrel, we must treat each other with compassion, and the atmosphere of the quarrel will be reduced. If we take quarreling for granted, it will destroy the harmony of life (anger will fly all over the sky, and people's emotional state will be difficult to keep calm).

(5) Abandonment type: one party abandons the other regardless of the other's life or death. If the husband abandons his wife and children and goes to other places, or if the man has a new love and abandons his old love. This kind of abandonment will cause the other party's deep resentment, which will lead to "revenge" in the future time and space (especially the so-called "revenge" behavior, especially the so-called "malicious abandonment"). The one who abandons others will leave the memory of "debt", and being retaliated as a fate is invisible and can only be helpless. If you abandon your wife and daughter and become a monk, because of the termination of the original karma between husband and wife, even if you practice successfully in this life, you still have to be reborn and remarried. Only when the fate is perfect can there be no reincarnation. This is the principle of "unambiguous cause and effect".

(6) Respect each other like ice: the two sides are indifferent and no longer think of each other. They may live under the same roof, but they look different. They are separated from each other. They simply live their own lives and don't care about each other. Usually it's because our fate (or good luck) is almost gone, so we don't feel anything. "In name only", all that remains is the name of the engagement. If there are different objects at this time, it means that the old karma has ended and another karma has started (even if there is no divorce, the old karma is equal to the end).

(7) Perseverance: the two sides compare their academic qualifications, earn money, have high family background, high status and strong ability, and are indomitable to each other (in fact, they are still relatively realm and divine power). Under the influence of competitiveness, life is like a war. To save face, I don't give up at all. Some people in the world also have this habit, so when they are transferred to the world, they perform well in all aspects, but they are "indomitable" and follow the previous habits.

(8) Eccentric type: one party is eccentric and difficult to get along with, and the other party has to swallow it. For example, Mr. Wang is a lonely, cynical and incomparable hero, but he is ambitious and has achieved nothing in the end. As a wife, he is helpless and speechless; Or the wife is convinced that fortune-telling is usually eccentric. The one who doesn't know that he is "eccentric" thinks that he is self-righteous and blames others. On the one hand, it is "lack of compassion", on the other hand, it is caused by "infatuation". Lack of compassion, so you can't be kind to each other; Because he is crazy about his career, he is self-righteous and eccentric and doesn't know it.

(9) Running away from home: Husband or wife often want to run away from home in order to get rid of the bondage of family. Maybe there is no affair or ideal, but there is a lot of pressure and constraint at home, and I don't have enough courage to face the pressure and constraint, so I often run away from home, linger outside, maybe go to a friend's house, maybe drink, maybe stay in the company to work overtime, and don't go home on an excuse. This is also the type that has no courage to take responsibility.

(10) Abusive type: persecuting each other by cruel and vicious means such as rough, beating, flogging and being locked in a secret room. This kind of abuse is a kind of torture for the abused, both physically and mentally. This kind of pain will be deeply recorded in consciousness and subconscious. There will always be opportunities for revenge and torture each other to death. If you can't survive, you can't be stable. This cruel mentality of the other party will cause extremely heavy bad karma, and it is easy to cause hell seeds in the eight minds. This kind of love between husband and wife can also be called "love in hell".

There are many resentments in the world, and the above is just a rough list. These reasons caused both parties to feel helpless, resentful and unable to solve, and finally resorted to the law and demanded a divorce. At the same time, the two sides have formed a bad relationship. In the future life, things may repeat themselves, but the roles are reversed, and all beings will stage this helpless tragedy again and again in the cycle of life and death. This is what goes around comes around.

Is there a day when the helpless tragedy will end? Many people think that learning Buddhism or escaping into an empty door can get rid of this nightmare of reincarnation. This statement is correct on the surface, but even the most brilliant yogi should pay off the old bad debts. This is the "law of cause and effect" in the legal field, and no one in the legal field can be spared.

After decades of life, why should we have a bad relationship? If we can treat each other with the most positive attitude, be kind to each other, be merciful and bear the burden of humiliation, even if there is a huge bad relationship, it will eventually be resolved and then become a good relationship. Don't be self-righteous and want to be served by the other party. If you don't know, you will have to pay for it in the future. Perhaps this is alarmist, but the legal world has its own law of cause and effect, which you and I can't deny at will.

Third, the bird's nest type

A bird's nest means a simple but unstable relationship, just like a bird's nest. The relationship between two people is only temporary, or weak, and it is possible to separate at any time. This means that although they are doomed, they are not practical and profound.

(1) Same fate: Both sides have no achievements, no social status, are ignored by society, live in a dark corner, and are in the same boat. For example, runaway couples or illegal immigrants may not know what will happen tomorrow. Since ancient times, after the war, many couples have fallen into this fate.

(2) Dewdrop Yuanyang: The karma is not deep, just like Dewdrop Yuanyang. Today they are destined to meet, but tomorrow they will go their separate ways. This kind of love is mostly because the man was born in the past and once saved the woman's life. As a result, a woman fell in love with a man all her life, and with a one-night fate, she saved her life unconsciously. In the past, the so-called "saving the life", according to the cause and effect of Buddhism, there are various ways to repay this saving the life (and it must be repaid), but the emotional way is the most.

(3) Passers-by: Some couples get married soon, or get terminally ill, have a sudden illness, or have an accident, that is, they die. Of course, family members are sad, and what's more, happy events turn into funerals (such as car accidents). Maybe they have some old relationships with each other, but their fate is short. They came into this world like a passer-by.

(4) Unmarried relationship: Unmarried relationship means that there is no formal marriage relationship, which is called "affair" in modern society. This relationship is not guaranteed in today's society, so it will end sooner or later. Why is there such a relationship besides the first house? Perhaps it is because of greed; Perhaps in the past, they were husband and wife, and after reincarnation, they met again in this life. Therefore, after a long-term love, only the current wife can't stand it, and even fight. In the reincarnation of many generations, we may have forged too many personal relationships in all walks of life. There are too many people involved, so there are so many disputes.

(5) Little wife and old wife or little husband and old wife: the life of the older party is not much left, so the property is left to the younger party. Maybe they don't love each other deeply. Perhaps the younger party is just greedy for the other party's property, and most of them are "utilitarian orientation" considerations. Because it is a "benefit" consideration, not an emotional factor, the fate of the two sides is not deep.

(6) Exoticism: Although they are husband and wife, they live in two places all the year round and rarely spend time together. For example, Mr. Wang was transferred to an overseas branch by the company because of his career, and his wife had a career here, so they got together less and left more. Because of separation, although we have feelings for each other, it still belongs to a shallow fate (because there is still the power of separation).

(7) Giving birth by belly: In fact, they have no feelings for each other, leaving only children who are deeply attached to their mothers or fathers. In ancient times, in order to continue the incense, children were sometimes born through their bellies. In modern society, there are banks. Their relationship ended when they had children. Men and women who have sex for a certain purpose will have the same result for a certain purpose, that is, their "career", because it is not because of love.

(8) Accidental meeting: We get together for some reasons, such as traveling together or going on a mission together. We have feelings for each other when we are together, but when the trip or task is over, we will go our separate ways. For each other, it's just a beautiful memory, but after all, it's just a chance meeting and it can't last long. Meeting by chance may also lead to deeper karma in the future, because two people have a good impression and will write down each other in each other's consciousness and subconscious. For example, in the original story of Sakyamuni Buddha, when he was born as a spiritual boy, he formed a "five-stemmed flower" relationship with the flower seller in order to support the burning Buddha. Flower girl hopes that the boy can become the boy's wife before he becomes a positive result, and can be transformed by the boy after he becomes a positive result. Finally, the boy agreed to the flower girl's request.

There are many kinds of bird's nest, and there are so many feelings that people in modern society are separated. Perhaps it is not surprising to treat them with a normal heart. For Buddhists, there are at least two ways to look at this kind of love or marriage:

(1) If Buddhists wish to practice Bodhisattva, they should cherish their grasp and be kind to each other, even if the relationship is shallow.

(2) Buddhists still need to know that things are impermanent like dreams.

Fourth, sleek.

(1) Successful career: Because of the successful career and stable family foundation, the love between the two sides has a bread foundation, which is fairly stable, and there is no shortage of needs in all aspects, and the enjoyment of life is higher than that of ordinary people. This may be attributed to its "human blessings." Career success generally comes from past reports. If the career belongs to two people, they will cherish each other more.

(2) * * * Ideals are the same type: because of learning and having the same ideals, naturally there is a family with a smooth life. * * * With the pursuit of ideals, it is easy to plant the seeds of memory in the eighth consciousness. If you have the same ideal after many lifetimes and turn to Buddhism, you may have the same wish! Have the same ideal as * * *, which can be husband and wife, brothers, good friends and other relationships.

(3) Matching families: Both families should reach an agreement on career, personality, family background, education and status, so the relationship is quite smooth and there will be no conflict because of the big gap. If you are right, you can maintain a stable relationship to some extent, and this feeling has been added to the family.

(4) * * * Growing up together: Because of the same background environment, such as neighbors, childhood friends, or * * * studying together, or the same working environment, we have a lot of the same experiences to share, spend the low tide together and grow together. This relationship has stabilized our relationship. Because * * * grows together, we can face the difficult test together. With the continuation of this power, we can be connected in this life, and it may be easy to get together again in the next life.

(5) The matchmaker's speaking mode: Through blind date, you can also agree with each other and then form a family. Because they need stability, their relationship is quite smooth. Some love produced by religious means (such as Christianity and Catholicism) can basically be regarded as this type.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) * * * Modification

(1) * * * Willing type: The yogi himself is willing to meet each other, come to the world, and may have sex with each other, so he also meets and becomes husband and wife. Although they are husband and wife in the world, they are also diligent in practice, so their lives are mostly related to religion (whether Buddhism, Christianity, Catholicism, Taoism or any other religion), which benefits the world.

(2) * * * Habitual type: Because the habits and methods of practice are similar, or we often practice together from generation to generation and can get familiar with each other, we will practice and study together in this life. Generally speaking, if you don't practice successfully, on the one hand, you haven't lived or died, on the other hand, what you want is what goes around comes around, which is the best way.

(3) * * * Karma type: Although husband and wife practice, they will inevitably bear the same karmic obstacles when they come to the world. Because although he is also practicing, he may make mistakes when he lacks wisdom, so the future world must bear the consequences of his mistakes. There is no need to panic in the face of karma. Two people must face each other with one heart and solve it together. Even if * * * lost his life together, also want to accept it. If they don't learn Buddhism, Buddha and Bodhisattva will be safe. If you do this, Buddha and Bodhisattva also violate the principle of causality in Buddhism.

The above discussion is for reference only. There are thousands of husband and wife Qian Qian in the world, each with its own differences. A layman learning Buddhism is not necessarily a "happy" life, but at least he can "feel at ease" and stop worrying.

Finally, I wish all families and couples who study Buddhism unite as one, remove obstacles and follow the path of Bodhisattva.