13 people who are late are very funny.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce this actor. The first one is Zhao Yun, who is the most actor tonight. And his black brother Zhang Fei, and the boss Liu Bei there. Don't forget Mr. Cao on the other side, his adviser Jiang Gan, and the strongest Xia Houdun. Finally, don't forget that I am the director behind the scenes.

Act I: Characters, Zhao Yun, Xia Houdun, Cao Cao and Jiang Gan.

Narrator: Not long ago, a black man rescued Liu Adou, the son of Liu Bei, from Cao Cao's army. Now he is coming here to kill him. He is Zhang Fei! ! ! (Zhao Yun appears) Not long ago, a black general saved Liu Adou, the son of Liu Bei. Now, here he comes. His name is Zhang Fei.

Zhao Yun: No! My last name is Zhao Mingyun, Changshan Zilong! Don't! My surname is Zhao, middle name is Yun, and my name is Zilong ~

(Zhao Yun takes out a piece of cloth from behind, representing the sinus)

Zhao Yun: Look! This is your master's last blood! Liu Adou! I saved him from the fire, but my own face has ... alas ... turned into coke! (self-pity) Look! This is the last drop of blood of the boss! Dou Liu E. I saved him from the fire, but my face has changed ...

(Xiahou Dun shoots like a cat's waist with a gun)

Xia Houdun: Stop running, little thief, or I'll kill you.

(Zhao Yun holds the bucket in his left hand and struggles with it in his right hand)

Zhao Yun: Shit! How dare you sneak up on me? Fuck! ! You bitch dare to attack me?

(They put on airs and made a few moves)

Zhao Yun: Look at my nine yin bones and claws! ! Stop. ! Wait! ! ! One, two, three ... nine dark white bone fingers! !

Xia Houdun: Hmm! (falls to the ground) Oh, my God, I'm finished.

Zhao Yun: It is not appropriate to stay here for a long time. Go find your master! (Next) Yeah ~ Bitch, I'm going to find my boss. Bye ~

(Cao Cao and Jiang Gan)

Cao Cao: I didn't expect to kill the enemy and flee just after sending troops! But before he conquered, he was dead. Since then, heroes have been crying on their coats! I didn't expect that we could defeat the enemy at the first attack.

This reminds me of a poem, "The ship died before it sank. Dragon "Heroes in Tears"

Jiang Gan: Prime Minister, it's unlucky for you to say so. Prime minister, what you said doesn't sound very good;

(Cao Cao almost tripped over Xia Houdun and fell to the ground)

Cao Cao: Huh? Who threw this watermelon skin? (Turning to see Xia Houdun lying on the ground) Huh? Who threw the banana peel?

Cao Cao: It's Xiahou Ai Qing. What kind of performance art is he doing? No Charlton?

Is he engaged in the so-called performance art?

(Jiang Gan slaps Xia Houdun, and they stand up. )

Cao Cao: Why did Xiahou Ai Qing put watermelon skin on the ground?

Xia Houdun: There is a man with a black face holding a child. There is a very dark man in his team with a baby.

Jiang Gan: It's the enemy's nanny! With a child! ! ! That's the enemy's maid, with a child in her arms.

Cao Cao: What about you? What did you do?

Xia Houdun: Er Er Er ... I rushed to him and fought with him. I was fighting with me ... I rushed to fight with him.

Cao Cao: Then what? then what

Jiang Gan: Prime Minister, General Xiahou defeated the enemy! Prime Minister, General Xiahou may have defeated the enemy.

Xia Houdun: Mm-hmm! (The gesture is as follows: point to the door, make the word "nine" with your right hand, then chill all over, then point to clothes, then point to Cao Cao and make a claw strike. )

Cao Cao: Then what? Then what happened?

Xia Houdun: No, no, I was blocked by his finger with nine clouds and white bones. It was terrible.

(Cao Cao and Jiang Gan pull Xia Houdun up)

Cao Cao: In that case, the enemy should not have gone far. Let's pursue victory! It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's go after them.

Jiang Gan: Sometimes I really admire your optimism ... (Applauded) Sometimes I really admit your superiority. ......

Xia Houdun: Hmm! Uh huh ~! (Raise two fists as if to fight the enemy)

(less than three people)

Act II: Characters: Liu Bei, Zhang Fei, Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun.

(Liu Bei, Zhang Fei, Zhuge Liang)

Narrator: This is Liu Bei and his team looking for something outside his military camp.

、

(Zhuge Liang goes ahead, followed by Zhang Fei and Liu Bei)

Zhuge Liang: (turning around) Master, it is reasonable to say that you left first! Lao Liu, you should walk in front of us! Isn't it?

Liu Bei: No, counselor, there is a big shade behind you. It's not bad to hide here for a summer No, it's cool that I stand behind you. I can avoid the summer heat.

Zhuge Liang: (looking out) Master, if what I expected is correct, it will rain soon! Liu, come here! Let me tell you a secret! I think it is going to rain!

Liu Bei: Sir, you are a psychic! People can't do it! I wonder how Mr. Wang knew it would rain. Great prophecy! No one can compare with you! Just curious, how did you know it would rain?

Zhuge Liang: First of all, the weather forecast says it will rain today. Secondly, look at the sky (in front of your finger), there is a dark cloud coming over there! First, the weather forecast tells us that it will rain today; Second, look at the sky, many dark clouds are coming!

(Zhao)

Zhang Fei: Wow! That's Zilong. I didn't expect to see Zilong and then change to a new desktop! Ha! That dragon guy, I can't believe you got a new desktop in one minute!

(Zhang Fei welcomes)

Zhang Fei: Zilong! long

Zhao Yun: Yide, help me! Help! ! ! Third brother.

(Zhang)

Zhao Yun: Master! The wind and cloud fight to the death, master Fang Bao is here! It's just that I haven't cried for a long time. I'm afraid I've ... (I'm sad, take out the cloth and open it.) Boss, I've tried my best to protect the little boss. But I didn't hear anything for a long time. I'm scared. ...

Zhao Yun: kao! This heartless little thing can still sleep! Just like his father! ! Oh ~ shit. How can this son of a bitch fall asleep? Just like his father.

Liu Bei: Ahem!

(Zhao Yun turns to face Liu Bei)

Zhuge Liang: Zilong, I'm not talking about you. You just have a door missing from your mouth. You can't say everything! ? Zilong, I didn't tell you, although it's true, you shouldn't say it!

(Liu Bei glared at Zhuge Liang, who seemed unaware. Zhao Yun stepped forward and handed Dou to Liu Bei, who held Dou. )

Liu Bei: I almost lost one of my generals for you, an unlucky child! I'm saving you for something. I'll kill you! ! I almost lost a brave general because of you! Why did I let you live? Let me kill you! ! (A Dou falls down)

(Zhao Yun stepped forward, aimed at Dou and kicked a few feet at random. Zhuge Liang stepped forward and pulled him. Zhao Yun has always wanted to kick. After Zhuge Liang pressed Zhao Yun with his body, he stepped forward and kicked Dou away. )

Narrator: From now on, Adou is obviously mentally retarded ... that's why Liu Adou was so stupid that he lost his country.

Zhao Yun: Huh? Why don't you see brother Guan? Hey ~ ~ where is the second brother?

Liu Bei: My second brother set up an eight diagrams array for the strategist yesterday, but he shook his back when he rushed out to beat the horse. Now he is still recuperating! He arranged the Eight Diagrams Array for the military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out, he sprained his waist and now he is bedridden.

Zhuge Liang: Oh, that's too bad. Look at me, how healthy and strong I am! Tell him to drink more Sanlu milk powder! (narcissism)! Oh, that's terrible! Look at me, so healthy and so strong! Tell him to drink more Sanlu milk powder!

Zhao Yun: This is what the child drinks! ! ! (It's a pity to step forward and touch Zhuge Liang) So you drink to be a fool?

Cao Cao (off stage): Ah ~! ! ! (bitterly)

Liu Bei: Is Third Brother back in his old job? Let's go and have a look! Has Zhang Fei returned to his old job? Go and see what happened.

(less than three people)

Act III: Characters Zhang Fei, Cao Cao, Xiahou Jianggan, Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang.

Narrator: The time was set back to three minutes ago, when Zhang Fei hit Changbanpo ... Three minutes ago, Zhang Fei and Cao Cao's army were fighting on Changbanpo.

(Zhang Shangfei, after turning around on the stage, appeared like a Beijing opera with columns and stopped)

Cao Cao and Jiang Gan: Gnome male! (giggle)

Xia Houdun: Hmm ... (giggles)

(Three people giggle on the stage) Write a play for www.coffbar.com.

Zhang Fei: Wow! Sausage, come back and pull! ! Wow! You, hot dog, come back!

Xiahou Dun: Shit, another black man. Black people are awesome. I feel horrible. . . Black people are coming again. I'm afraid black people are very powerful.

Cao Cao: Who are you and why do you have such a beautiful voice? Excuse me. May I know your name? What a beautiful voice you have!

Zhang Fei: I'm Yan (yān) Zhang Yide! (Gritting his teeth) I'm Zhang Yide from Du Jing! (clenched teeth)

Cao Cao: Eunuchs are eunuchs ... Xia Houdun, go up and solve him!

You are the so-called coward, aren't you? Xiahou, hit it!

(Xia Houdun bows his head and rushes out)

Xia Houdun: Hmm! Mm-hmm!

(Two people fight together) (Freeze)

Jiang Gan: Prime Minister, we are sure to lose this battle, and there will be bridges without water flowing backwards in the future! Call General Xiahou down quickly. Prime Minister, we must have lost the battle, and the bridge will be out of water soon! Let's go and call General Xiahou down.

Cao Cao: How do you know? How did you know?

Jiang Gan: The True Three Kingdoms, the task of Nagsaka! ! Really, it's the responsibility of the game. The Three Kingdoms are unparalleled! !

Cao Cao: Please, I think you are too addicted to online games. This is a waste of time and Shanghai's health. You'd better listen to a word from the Prime Minister! Cherish life and stay away from the three customs!

I think you are too addicted to online games. It's a waste of time and harmful. Listen to me, you must take good care of yourself.

(Zhang Fei and Xia Houdun continue, Zhang Fei shoots Xia Houdun)

Xia Houdun: Oh, I lost again (Jiang Gan pulls Xia Houdun forward).

Cao Cao: Alas, the world has changed now. Eunuchs are so powerful! ?

Why did that coward become so brave?

Zhang Fei: cao thief, listen! You'll never cross the bridge today! Cao, stop it! You can't cross this bridge alive today!

Cao Cao: Take a break! Today, if I hadn't died in Dian Wei, diarrhea in Xu Zhu, Yujin pneumonia, measles in Li Dian, liver cancer in Wen Pin and hemorrhoids in Zhang Liao, I wouldn't have lost to you! Shut up! If General Dian Wei were still alive, we would not be defeated!

Zhang Fei: After all, your men are not available! Ah, facing this scene, I really want to write a poem-the nobles may go out for you, and facing this scene, I really want to sing a song. Uh, open ... in ... only you ~ ~ ~ only you. ...

(Xia Houdun leaps)

Xia Houdun: Hmm ... (puts his hand over his ear and runs down)

Cao Cao: Ah! (crying badly, covering his ears with his hand)

Jiang Gan: Ah! (crying badly, covering his ears with his hand)

Cao Cao: Is this the legendary Mendelssohn concerto "Ghost Cry" in C major? Why is it so shocking! (horrified) What's so shocking about this!

Jiang Gan: (pointing to Zhang Fei) Look! Prime minister! The bridge is broken! The water is starting to flow back! ! (Turning around and covering his ears with his hand) Look, Prime Minister! The bridge is broken! The water also began to flow backwards (sound effect: the sound of landslides)

Cao Cao: aaaaaaaaaa (painful vomiting blood) (freeze frame)

(Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Zhao Yun)

Zhuge Liang: Stop singing! Singing any more will kill Cao Cao! Stop singing, will you? If you keep singing, Cao Cao will die because of your song!

Liu Bei: Third brother, stop! ! (covering his ears with his hand) Stop, stop! ! (Cover your ears with your hands)

Zhang Fei: only you ~ ~ ~ only ... you ... (lingering)

Liu Bei: Zilong, carry your third brother back quickly. Zilong, take Zhang Fei back quickly.

Zhao Yun: OK! okay

(Zhao Yun comes forward, puts his hand over Zhang Fei's mouth and carries him away. Zhang Fei is still singing )

(Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun)

Narrator: Since then, a song has been sung for a long time. It's called: Only you ~ ~ ~ From then on, a song became very famous. The name is.

Only you. The song rings again, and everyone takes a curtain call.