How to write fortune-telling signboard copy

I am a medical student. Sick is sick.

I study auto repair, saying that you are a spare tire and you are a spare tire.

I study chemical engineering. If you are poisonous, you are poisonous.

I'm a chef. If you are not my type, you are not my type.

I study electricity. I don't scream if I say no.

I study logistics. When I say you are a small product, you are a small product.

I go to a normal school. When I say you have no culture, you just have no culture.

I'm an accountant. When I say I want to settle accounts with you, I want to settle accounts with you.

I study finance. When I say you lose money, you lose money.

I study excavators, and when I say dig your corner, I'll dig your corner.

I have the key. If I say you don't deserve it, you don't deserve it.

I am a fortune teller. When I say you live a bad life, you live a bad life.