What are the wedding customs of Xiushui?

It is an important event in life that men should be married and women should be married, which has always been valued by the people.

Since the Tang and Song Dynasties, the custom of living in groups has been formed since ancient times because of the large number of people who took refuge in war. In the past, when transportation and communication were underdeveloped and feudal consciousness was strong, when young men and women reached marriageable age, they generally had to "listen to their parents' orders and matchmakers' words" and get married after a certain procedure. If you don't get married through a matchmaker, you don't think it's appropriate and impolite, and it's easy to attract others' gossip. Under normal circumstances, after parents find suitable objects for their children through matchmakers,

Both men and women have to go through the following procedures:

see and assess the suitability of a prospective mate or son

The first is genus matching and eight-character matching. After the parents of young men and women get to know each other through the introduction of the matchmaker, they feel that the conditions of the other party are still suitable. The woman gave her daughter's birthday Geng to the man through the matchmaker, and the man's parents got the girl's birthday Geng eight characters through the matchmaker, so they asked a fortune teller to match the eight characters. The so-called zodiac is to compare the birth dates of young men and women to see if there is any violation of each other. There are some folk sayings: "Red snake and white monkey are full of happiness, and their longevity is better", "Green rabbit and yellow dog have existed since ancient times, and their wealth is full of Beidou", "Black mouse and cow are prosperous, green cow and black pig are happy, and the dragon and chicken are longer", "White horse is afraid of green cow, once sheep and mice rest" and "snake and tiger" refers to whether the birth and fate of young men and women conflict. If they can complement each other, it will be harmonious. If the characters of men and women contain each other, it will be disharmony, and one party will contain the other, which will be unfavorable to one of them and lead to disharmony between husband and wife. If they can't get married, the man will return the woman's birth certificate. The second is to ask the ancestors to identify whether they can become husband and wife. Mainly the man wrote the birth of young men and women together, prayed to the ancestors, and put the birth of young men and women under the incense burner in front of the shrine. Within three days, the family is safe, that is, the ancestors recognized it, otherwise the ancestors denied it, and the man also returned the woman's birthday to her. The third is to press the tea tray. After both men and women go through the above links, the matchmaker agrees to blind date. Blind date means that the matchmaker leads the young man and his father to meet at the woman's house and get to know each other's figure and appearance. After the man sat down at the woman's house, the young woman (object) made several bowls of tea and served it to the guests with a tea tray. When the young woman walked in front of the young man, both men and women looked at each other like lightning, and the woman returned to the room. Relatives of the woman's family asked the young woman what she thought. The woman decides to choose based on the first impression; Young people will also decide whether to stay based on their first impressions. If the woman thinks it's okay, and the man doesn't leave, the young woman will serve the second bowl of tea, and the young man will serve the second bowl of tea, which shows that both men and women agree to the marriage. If the young woman does not send tea after the first round of tea, it means that the woman does not agree with this marriage; The young man doesn't accept the second bowl of tea, which shows that the young man doesn't like girls. If men and women are attracted to each other, when the young women come out to clean up the tea bowls, the young men put a token or a red envelope (money) in the young women's tea tray, which is called a tea tray. At this time, a simple banquet was set up at the woman's house to entertain the man's visitors. After dinner, the man left the woman's house, and the woman gave the token to the man. As a result, the marriage relationship between the two sides is basically determined.

Check the concierge (choose a house).

After the man went to the woman's house for the first time, he got a preliminary understanding of the woman's family, but the woman didn't know much about the man's family. The woman agreed to go to the man's home through a matchmaker (called a concierge or a family home) to learn about the situation in the man's home. The concierge is usually the aunt, aunt, sister-in-law, elder sister and young woman herself. Under the guidance of the matchmaker, she visited the man's house to learn about the family environment, family property and family neighborhood. In order to show sincerity, the man gave a banquet to entertain the guests and gave each guest an appropriate gift or gift at the dinner table. After the matchmaker passed the concierge, he told the man and the woman whether they agreed to the marriage.

Ding Geng

After going through the procedures of blind date, tea tray pressing and concierge inspection, both men and women agree that after marriage, the man will choose the auspicious date and hold a ceremony to set the Geng. There are mainly the following procedures: First, the travel media is started. The elderly and young men of the man are led by the travel media, bringing "three animals" (live chickens, live fish and live pigs), incense sticks and firecrackers to the woman's house to inform their ancestors and invite her close relatives to the man's house for a Ding Geng wedding banquet. After the woman received the invitation, on the one hand, she asked Mr. Etiquette to write down the birthdays of three generations of immediate family members in red paper and put them in a special gift box for later use. On the other hand, notify relatives' uncles, uncles, etc. Get together at the woman's house and go to the man's house for dinner. When leaving, the elders of the woman's family will bring a gift box and go to the man's house to have a look; The man's family will also write down the birthday time of the three generations of direct family members in red paper for later use. The second is to agree on dowry and dowry. The matchmaker came forward to make a preliminary agreement, mainly including the amount of money for the bride price, several sets of clothes for the woman, the amount of meat (pork) and various small gifts, and so on. Then the man writes a red slip on red paper and gives it to the woman and the media for safekeeping. The woman decides how much dowry to buy according to the bride price of the man and her own economic situation, and writes a red list with red paper and gives it to the man and Yue Lao for safekeeping as evidence for both parties.

On the auspicious day of Gengzi, the man's closest relatives and accompanying husband waited at home early. When the woman's closest relatives arrive at the man's main entrance, the man salutes and greets, and the closest relatives and dignitaries line up to meet at the right side of the main entrance. The man accompanied the man in his speech and led the female guests into the guest room to sit quietly.

The guests are seated. Men offer cigarettes and women offer tea. Male and female guests exchanged pleasantries. The woman handed the gift box with Geng Xu to the man's elders. At noon, before the wedding reception, the man burned incense and lit candles in front of the shrine of this hall to inform his ancestors, and then invited the guests to sit down. That person will accompany you to arrange banquet seats for the main guests in chronological order. After that, the man told you a set of stereotyped writing. After speaking to you, the guest representatives also made some modest remarks. After a ceremony, both men and women took their seats and the banquet officially began. During the dinner, the man accompanied you to make a toast and make a speech, and the new guest representatives also stood up to answer.

After a feast, women began to leave and return home. The man handed Uncle Geng's gift box to the visitor's representative, and then his uncle, uncle, brother and younger brother lined up at the left side of the gate to see him off. The woman's guest said a modest farewell, and the man accompanied him to say goodbye.

daily paper

After eating Ding Geng's rice, the man chose an auspicious day at least one month before the wedding, thanked the media in the media house with an invitation letter and a gift (gold), and told him the scheduled wedding date. After the media and the woman's family agreed on the date of marriage, the man wrote a letter for the date of marriage, which was packed in a special gift box. The matchmaker led the young man and the man's uncle to the woman's house for marriage, and the woman hosted a banquet to entertain the guests. Then the woman also wrote back to the man's parents with a gift box, and finally determined the date of the wedding. After the wedding date is determined, both men and women enter the wedding preparations.

Get married (return).

On the day before Yugui's return, the woman should do several things: First, ask the middle-aged and above women who are respected and righteous to make faces and go to the brain for their married women (making faces with hemp thread means tying their hair in a bun at the back of their heads). When the woman gets married, she will make a face and go to the brain, which means that her daughter has become a daughter-in-law since then, and it is also a legal matchmaking in the man's house, not her hair. After the ceremony, I wish the married women "Qi Mei, early birth and long hair" and send them off politely. The second is the greenhouse (warm car). The woman's uncle, aunt, aunt, etc. Wait at home to help prepare for marriage, say something considerate to the married woman, and let her go home often after she returns.

On the afternoon before your wedding, when the man's sedan chair and wedding meat were about to enter the door, the man hit the master twice and reported the arrival of the man's wedding team. The first is the master and his party carrying gifts such as meat, followed by deacons such as sedan chairs, nuclear bearers and matchmakers. After entering the door, the woman accompanied Jundao through hard work. After the two sides congratulated her, the woman's mother was moved by this scene, and the mood of parting suddenly rose. She couldn't help crying with her daughter in her arms, as well as her uncle, aunt and sister. People around her will get comfort from human nature.

In the evening, the woman gave a banquet to entertain the wedding guests who arrived early and their relatives. This meal is called a "wedding reception". After dinner, the man brought "three animals" (chicken, fish and meat), oil candles, incense paper and firecrackers to pay homage to his ancestors, and held a candle-sending ceremony to invite the elders of "family ancestor" (surname) 1 person and the elders of "foreign ancestor" (bride's family) 1 person. Everyone is responsible for lighting a big oil candle, saying while lighting it. My ancestors said, "Water is active and trees have roots. I owe you a gift from my relatives in Taiwan Province." My ancestors said: "Mr. and Mrs. Qi Mei will be happy for a long time. They are holding a Yuanyang candle in their hands and shining brightly in the hall. Yin and Yang respect each other." . Grandfather said, "Light a candle and shine it on the Huatang. The room is full of auspicious lamps and mandarin ducks. Now, after the couple fall in love, he will become auspicious early. " Later, he shouted to God: "I want to tell the ancestors of a certain class that today, the daughter of Sun Moumou of the team will return one day and marry the son of a certain family." I wish you a long life and prosperity for five generations. " Bow at once. After that, blow out the big oil candle, wrap it up and give it to the man to make a cup. Some of these "giving candles" ceremonies were held the next day, when the bride said goodbye to her ancestors and left the palace.

After the candles are distributed, the cake and wine are placed, and the undertaker, matchmaker and others are invited to sit at the table to discuss the unfinished matters about picking up the bride, and check whether the gifts, gifts, red envelopes and clothes written on the red list are ready. At this time, the woman always wants to make another request, sometimes even out of line, asking the man to add money. This process is called "talking about relatives". There are "talking about relatives, talking about relatives, not talking about relatives" and "fighting for hair, fighting for hair, not fighting for hair". As a result, many people haggle over every ounce for a trivial matter, and even like to quarrel, but both sides know that this is just a "show", so they don't mind. In order to take care of the woman's "face", the man's people always have to make some concessions.

At night, in the dead of night, the hostess took the bride, prepared three kinds of offerings, oil candles and incense paper to worship the sedan chair, and tried to sit in the sedan chair once, which was called "pressing the sedan chair".

The next morning, the woman gave a formal banquet to entertain the guests. At the banquet, the man sent two jars of wine, which were screened for the guests. Before the wedding reception, incense and candles will be burned in the shrine of the ancestral temple, and sacrifices brought by the man will be offered. Then the host family will accompany you to the table in the order of the size of the guests, and then the old relatives will answer the guests.

After the wedding reception, the woman accompanied the bride to get married in tears in the room. Crying for marriage is a kind of etiquette, which means that a daughter gets married with her parents and is separated from her relatives and friends. This cry was initiated by a married woman. At this time, my daughter faced the warm atmosphere of many relatives and friends who came to congratulate her, and faced the kindness of her parents for many years. She was moved by the scene in front of her and was deeply touched. There are many materials and objects to cry. The daughter first chose the right mother, and then threw herself into her arms. Mother was once again moved by this scene and cried, taking the lead in stuffing the already prepared red envelope into her arms. All the relatives and wives were present to say goodbye to each other except the married mother and daughter who hugged each other and cried. The daughter asked her brother and sister-in-law to be filial to her parents and let her relatives take care of her family. The closest relatives and men are sometimes invited to listen to the bride's instructions. All women and men should give her red envelopes. After crying for a while, the bride began to dress, and the woman who had been married only once with many children helped to dress and change shoes, and finally put on a "shame towel".

Mr. Accountant directed his men to move all the dowry to the upper and lower halls, divide it into several parts, put it on the bamboo pole that carried the gift the day before, and write a happy word on it. The woman's man tied the dowry tightly with a red rope, put it on a hall, sealed it and sent it out to Yumen. The undertaker gave red envelopes respectively, and the host took the dowry and went on his way. The main family set off firecrackers and sang spears to each other.

After the dowry left, a welcome bucket (a container for measuring grain) was hung upside down in front of the hall, and a big oil candle and incense were lit in front of the ancestral tablet (if the candle was not given the day before yesterday, it was given at this time) to "tell the ancestors". When offering sacrifices to ancestors, our elders pray in front of the shrine in front of the church and bid farewell to their ancestors. The bride's brother will carry the bride from the boudoir to the hall and stand at the bottom of the welcome bucket, facing the ancestors. The bride can't walk in the fields after changing new shoes, lest she take away her family's land. After the bride stood still, she bowed to the third ancestor, cried and sang goodbye to her ancestors and prayed for blessing. Then they turned to face the door, bowed three times, cried and sang farewell words to their parents and relatives, and then the brothers carried out the door, put them in sedan chairs, sat down and closed the door. Before getting off the sedan chair, a ceremony attendant said hello. After getting off the sedan chair, firecrackers, gunshots and gongs led the way, accompanied by suona. One of the woman's brothers is protecting the sedan chair, and her sister is married. The man and her main relatives brought back letters, Lang's clothes and hats, various small gifts (all men and women) and a gift box for the sacrificial cage. The sedan chair didn't go far when someone brought a baking stove and gave it to the bride. The bride gave a red envelope to the person who delivered the oven. The fire in this stove can't be taken to the man's house. The fire in the stove should be put out on the road.

After the sedan chair left, he took the burden of the nuclear man and left a hen for the two chickens. When the two jars are finished, leave one for the bride to return after giving birth, and the other will be filled with two drumsticks (chicken killed in ancestor worship the night before), four eggs and eight pieces of pork (four refined and four fat) to make a cup for the man, and use the gift box brought by the nuclear man.

wedding ceremony

Along the way, the wedding procession came to a place not far from the man's home. At this time, the "messenger" rang a few times and reported the news to the man. The first thing to do when you enter the door is the bride's dowry. After the dowry enters the door, it is placed in the hall for guests to watch, and then moved into the new house. Then pick up the bride and get married separately.

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Pick up the bride.

When the bride's sedan chair came to the door, the man's firecrackers and gongs and drums were loud, and onlookers flocked to meet the bride. The sedan chair slowly fell into the big bamboo base that had already been prepared. The sedan chair stopped, and so did the firecrackers and drums. At this moment, Li Sheng stood at the door facing the sedan chair with a drumstick in his left hand and a kitchen knife in his right hand, and called "Up". A man stood next to him, holding a "tray" with "flower rice" mixed with red scraps of paper. It is said that rice stands for "God of Grains", and any demon is afraid of it. Li Shengxian put his knife on the top edge of the sedan chair door, knocked it three times in the order of middle, left and right, dropped the knife on the ground, then grabbed a handful of "nectar" from the plate, said hello and knocked the gong.

Then the groom came to the car with a folding fan and a key in his hand. He tapped the fan on the roof of the car three times in the order of center, left and right, then turned on the fan, fanned it into the car three times in a thousand-shaped way, and then unlocked it with the key. Legend has it that this is the groom's attempt to take away the bride's prestige so as not to be superior to her husband in the future. However, the woman did not show weakness, opened the folding fan and pressed the word "thousand" to offset the wind.

After the car door was opened, it did not open immediately. Two women led the bride forward, and the bride walked out of the car door with two red envelopes and a fan. She took the red envelope, opened the car door, helped the bride out of the car, walked into the gate, entered the mourning hall and met the bride. Etiquette: Second, worship Gaotang; The third is the worship of husband and wife. Later, they visited the man's relatives respectively, and all the worshippers gave the bride red envelopes. After that, the bride was assisted by two bridesmaids and entered the bridal chamber. The man poured the "filial fruit" brought by the woman on the ground and let the children and women plunder it. There must be red dates, raw peanuts, candy and the like in the fruit of filial piety, which means giving birth to your son early and occasionally giving birth to boys and girls.

After picking up the matchmaker to pick up the bride, the matchmaker was picked up in a burst of firecrackers. After the matchmaker entered the gate, the man's master paid tribute and invited the matchmaker to drink. The matchmaker took the host's wine and greeted him.

Connect, dear. As soon as relatives stepped into Yu's front door, firecrackers exploded, and relatives made three rounds (outside the door, at the head of the door, and in the main hall). Everywhere, there are two doormen standing by and waiting. In the first round, the two sides shook hands and simply let go. In the second round, the two sides hold hands or bow, and the man accompanies the man to the umbrella in his hand. In the third round, there were more than a dozen guests on the left side of the purlin, respectfully.

In addition to some reception etiquette, the host family also prepared a banquet.

Wedding reception. Generally located in the ancestral hall of the family, incense and candles are burned on the shrine of the ancestral hall (when the woman sends candles), and a wedding banquet is held after making a wish.

After the main relatives of both men and women arrive, the man will accompany you to sit down in the order of relatives and friends, and the mother, elders and matchmaker will sit down. Then he sat down with you and that woman to propose a toast. After that, the guests from both sides sat down. During the dinner, the man stood up to propose a toast with you, and the woman's guests stood up to propose a toast.

The man's uncles and brothers advised the matchmaker to drink. When the fish came to drink, they left. A little, the man and uncle invited the woman to "receive" respectively. After the reception, they ate "cheese", which was the highest level of the wedding banquet, and the quality of the food was better than that of the main banquet. After eating the "cheese into" banquet, it got dark for a while, and most of them went home except a few who stayed. At this time, the woman's guest head said goodbye on behalf of her relatives, and the man accompanied his uncles and brothers to the right to see him off. At this time, the female guest thanked her and the male guest accompanied her to pay tribute. Then the main family exchanged firecrackers.

Make trouble in the bridal chamber. This is the last scene of the wedding. After the wedding reception, relatives, friends, colleagues and classmates nearby all went to the new house to make trouble. When making trouble in the bridal chamber, the man moved the candle in front of the shrine to the bridal chamber, and at the same time divided the chicken legs, eggs and pork brought by the woman into two parts, and sent them to the bridal chamber to "toast" and asked the gift students to send greetings to enhance the festive atmosphere. Those who are close to the age of the bride and groom are joking and joking together.

After the daughter got married for a full moon, her parents worried that her daughter was not used to it in the man's house, so they sent their harem to the man's house as a guest. The name of the full moon is full moon, and it is up to the woman to decide when it will be full moon. That is, the Japanese yen was replaced by the woman's uncle. Every other day, if you are waiting for Japanese yen, your parents will invite your uncle, aunt or other major relatives to go with you. The man gave a banquet.

Back to the door. According to rural customs, the bride herself can't go back to her family to visit relatives until after the full moon.

When the daughter goes home, the son-in-law leads the daughter-in-law to the mother-in-law's house, and the old man prepares a rich table of "gift wine" to welcome the new son-in-law. During the dinner, the bride led the groom to visit his uncle and relatives, and the visitors gave them presents.

With the development of the times, the complicated wedding ceremony etiquette is being simplified, and most of them are simplified from the original complicated etiquette into three major processes: tea tray pressing, engagement and marriage. Around the 20th century, the role of matchmaker was no longer necessary.

Young people at the turn of the century have ideals and ambitions, and they will treat their marriage and life correctly. They will not be arranged by their parents, teased by matchmakers, bound by old customs or captured by money. They want to choose the right lover, look at their own career and marry far away. There are countless men who have women and no men to settle down. Rural children born and raised in economically developed coastal areas have become partners, and they are trying to find their own career and love under the blue sky of the new Millennium and the new century.