The most classic and funny circle of friends copy

1. The most embarrassing thing is to register with my girlfriend at the Civil Affairs Bureau, and the staff is actually an ex-girlfriend.

I was moved by my girlfriend again. I accompanied her to have an abortion today. Lying in the hospital bed, she said weakly to me, honey, if it's not your child, I don't want it!

3. Q: One year is almost over. Are you still alone? Will I become a dog again?

Wandering around in the first half of my life, cooking soup in the second half, staying up late, applying eye cream, putting medlar in beer, adding ginseng in cola, drinking the strongest wine and taking the most expensive ambulance.

I envy you ugly people. If you are lovelorn, you can at least say "Who made me ugly" to comfort yourself.

6. My friend described his reason for leaving his job like this: My job is cheap and enough.

7. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but how to have money is your biggest problem.

8. What is the experience of having a friend who stutters? The Great God replied: We described that he used a 2G signal when he spoke!

9. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What's even more awesome is that eating one garlic a day can drive everyone away.

10. I ordered a KFC takeaway on a whim and told the customer service that I hope it can be delivered soon, or I will starve to death. Results 15 minute delivery, and the tragedy happened after paying the money. The customer's message column on the document is printed directly: deliver the goods quickly, and the customer will starve to death.

1 1. Go after the person you like bravely, so that you will know that there is more than one person who refuses you.

12. The secret of keeping beautiful used to be sleeping, but now it is retouching.

13. No matter what the fortune teller says you lack in the five elements, in fact, at a certain age, you will find that what you lack most is money! Don't talk about Jin Kemu Muketu, Tuke water, water, fire and gold. As long as you are poor, you can have everything.

14. If life deceives you, don't worry, take out your beauty camera and cheat life.

15. Unlike you who run in the morning, I have tried my best to sit up in bed.

16. I'm only in my twenties. Love can be late, but delivery and take-out are not late at all.

17. Every winter morning, I feel a bed of 502 glued to my bed, which hurts when I think about it.

18. Open your wallet when you are lonely and balance it instantly. At least I have a wallet, and there is nothing in it!

19. It used to be called husband and wife, but now it is a mobile phone that never leaves, one in hand, forever. The machine is not in hand and there is no soul.

20. Others are proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. I'm amazing. I fry, cook and eat everything.

2 1. "Honey, I want to buy clothes when the season changes." "Are you obedient?" "Not obedient!" "If you don't listen, don't buy it!" "Then I am obedient!" "Lovely, obedient! Don't buy. "

22. If the country scores your looks, you can have a minimum living standard.

23. Work is not easy. In fact, everyone is equally tired at work. The difference is that everyone earns more than you.

24. Pandas are as lazy as pigs to cook. Because of their different coats, their fate is completely different: one is spoiled and the other is stabbed! Therefore, it is very important to go out and mix clothes. You must buy what you need, and don't save it.

25. When you are alive, you will be laughed at at first, then you will laugh at others, and finally you will die laughing.

As an experienced person, my advice to young people is: Don't come over.

27. Some people stay in bed because they have money and stay up as late as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal.