Fortune teller Liu Daxian _ Liu's divination

Chinese New Year is coming soon! Kneeling for a healthy two-person sketch script with a height of 1! Take it out before tomorrow and give 40 points.

(Sketch) Sign in (multi-person)

2006-8-29 23:35:00

Time: the day when the recruits report for duty.

Location: In class

Person: squad leader A, first-class petty officer.

B- Qian Er, Qingdao recruit, Qingdao accent.

C- Zhao Da, Hebei recruit, Hebei accent.

Ding-Sun Dazhuang, Anhui recruit, Anhui accent, very thin.

Props: a desk, four chairs, three schoolbags, a notebook and a pen.

a； Let me train new recruits this year, and I must do it well. The recruits will report for duty soon, so I have to get ready.

b； Oh, my God. (The monitor is startled) You are the monitor, aren't you? Hello, monitor ... monitor, do you smoke? ...

I don't smoke. Thank you. Have a seat first. Hey, you are from Qingdao, right?

Oh, my god, monitor, how do you know?

a； I sound like an accent.

Oh, my god, monitor, you are really good.

A: Sit down first. All our new comrades need to register first.

B: oh, my god, monitor, register? ! I can't register,

a； What's the matter?

I am not old enough to get married.

a； Hey, registered marriage. That's not what I meant. When I say register, I mean to say my name and age.

Well, that's what it means. Just check my household registration.

A: Hi! How to audit the accounts? Come on, let's check the account now. What's your name?

B: Money.

a； Hey! Our army can't use nicknames. You need to give your name.

B: My name is Qian Er, and my name is Qian Er.

a； Why do I sound like a moneymaker?

Monitor, you misunderstood. I have a lot of money.

Your family is very rich.

B: Monitor, my mother told me if there was any money at home, so I won't tell anyone.

a； Personal privacy, who are you?

b； That's the one who cheated.

A: Oh! That's sinister. Are you also very insidious?

b； Hi! Monitor, I just say an idiom.

A: That's good. How old are you?

b； Monitor, I am 18 years old today.

A: What? ! Why are you 18 years old today? How will you be tomorrow?

b； Tomorrow, tomorrow is 19.

Hey, what happened?

b； Monitor, tomorrow is my birthday. I signed up for my first birthday.

A: Hey, are you still bored? Why not just report your age 19?

b； Oh, yes, monitor, you can say anything.

a； Why am I in charge? Well, tell me about your family.

Oh, my god, monitor, you are such a good man. My father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle, uncle ... you are in good health. Thank you for your trouble.

A: Huh? Hi! What are all these? I mean, what do your parents do?

b； Oh, monitor, you are asking me what my parents do. Sorry, monitor, I misunderstood. I understand now. And say my dad.

What does your father do?

My father works in Hayes Real Estate Company.

Oh, that's a big deal.

B: Hehe, no, doing something small.

A: It's a clerk.

b； breakdown

That is an accountant.

b； nor

a； That's the general manager

b； That would be even worse.

a； This is not that. What's that for?

B: Hehe, just be a small chairman.

A: The chairman is still young! ? Well, have a seat and I'll write something first.

B: Monitor, you don't have to worry about me. You do your thing first. . . .

b； Oh, my God (the monitor is startled), monitor! The other one,

C: 1 2 1 ...

b； Let me help you with your bag.

c； My mother said no one would touch my bag,

Hey, monitor, what's wrong with him? What's wrong with this man?

A: Come and sit down. We recruits need to make a record before coming here.

B: (to c) I tell you, don't be afraid. This registration is either marriage registration or investigation.

Your household registration, monitor?

A: Oh! I'm auditing the accounts again. Ok, new comrade, please tell me your name.

C: My mother said I was the eldest in the family, and she named me Zhao Da.

a； What education?

C: I didn't go to high school.

A: Oh, that's junior high school.

C: I didn't finish junior high school ~ ~ ~.

a； Hey, what kind of education did you have?

c； My mother said that I have been in junior high school for a year and a half, and my education is calculated according to junior high school.

b； Oh, my God! Monitor, I don't know if you are tired. Anyway, I'm so tired that my intestines are almost broken.

A: Take it easy, take it easy. Sit down first. What's your specialty, Zhao Da?

c； What is a major?

a； It's a hobby

c； Specialty is specialty, hobby is hobby, hobby is not specialty, and specialty is not hobby.

A: Hi! This is a tongue twister. Then talk about your hobbies.

c； My mother said, I sing well,

A: Oh, please ask Zhao Datong to sing a song. Welcome to visit.

C: There is no fragrance of flowers, not as high as trees.

B: God, monitor, I'm missing four out of five notes. I sing better than him. Monitor, people sing for money, and his singing is fatal.

a； All right, all right. Be quiet. Then you two meet first and I'll write something.

b； Oh, my God (the monitor is startled)! Monitor, here comes another one. Come on, let me help you with your bag. I held my head high and flashed at B. ) I shouted ~ ~ This man has a big shelf. Why?

Ding; Go, go, put my bag there.

b； (casually throwing), who is it?

Ding; Stop there and come here.

b； What are you doing,

Ding; Nothing, just picked up my bag and put it on the table.

B: OK. Face the monitor on the first day.

Let's not make noise. Let's all sit down Come on, new comrades, make a note first.

C: (Right) This registration is either marriage registration or checking your account, right, monitor?

Okay, okay, I know you should stop nagging.

b； Monitor, why are you almost like my movie policeman, always checking people's accounts?

A: Well, it seems that this account will be checked to the end today. What's the name of this new comrade?

D: My name is Sun Dazhuang (Show Muscle).

You don't look like a big man at all.

D: I am thin, but my bones are full of meat. Look at the monitor

Oh, my God! Monitor, is he strong? Then I got fat.

D: what? I am Zhuang. What's the matter ~ ~ ~

A: Be quiet. Don't make any noise, keep quiet. Then tell me your age.

D: I'm 18 this year.

A: I feel that you are not 18 years old.

D: what's the matter I'll count you if you don't believe me.

b； Come on, I'll count for you.

You don't need it. (Zhao Da) Please help me count. 89,90,9 1,92,93,~~99~99~~00~~

C:1~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ exactly 18.

Oh, monitor, no, something is wrong with me. I'll touch him

D: what's the matter

Stop yelling, you're talking again.

D: Listen to 89,,,,,,, 99, 99.

Hey, I smoothed the monitor. He registered two 99s. He is only 17 this year.

D: I reported a nominal age.

B: In your imagination, it's still 25.

D: I can say whatever I want. You can't find it.

All right, stop yelling and sit down. You three get to know yourselves first (pause for a moment). Stand up and gather. Zhao Da, put your bag down first.

C: My mother said that I can't give my bag to others.

A: Since you have come to the army, the army is your home. The monitor is like your own mother, caring about your food, clothing, housing and transportation, eating and drinking Lazar. You got it? Put the bag down quickly

Captain: (pause for a moment) Yes-Mom,

Hi, I am your monitor.

C: It's a monitor.

A: Turn right, (C turn left, Ding looks at it and thinks it's wrong, then turns back) No,

Monitor An, I was wrong. (b) I turned around and thought I was wrong, so I turned around. )

A: Well, none of them are right. Turn it around. March fast (end)