Are there any jokes about football?

In the World Cup, a striker went on the rampage, ran from side to side, made a diversion, and soon took the ball to the opponent's restricted area, ready to shoot. At this point, the fans at the scene cheered and thundered, while the goalkeeper was terrified and at a loss, as if the sky were falling. ...

At this critical moment, if this player:

First, suddenly slow down and finally stop, then look around, roll up your trouser legs, and then keep rubbing the part of one leg skin that has just been kicked off by the other player and say, I'm afraid the bone is broken. what can I do? I didn't mean to shoot. ▲ Then he must be Yuan Shao.

Second, he suddenly pointed to the back of the goalkeeper and said, please look at the back. The referee is looking for you. When the goalkeeper turned to look at the opportunity, he quickly raised his foot and shot. ▲ This person must be Cao Cao.

Third, suddenly stop, and drop the football and walk to the goalkeeper's side, hold the goalkeeper's hand, and then say with tears: Brothers, we are all football families, and often communicate in the same venue, as close as brothers. How can I have the heart to clap your door? Then he hugged the goalkeeper and cried. ▲ This person must be Liu Bei.

Fourth, running all the way, like nobody's business, suddenly let out a cry when approaching the target, with a thunderous voice. Then he saw the goalkeeper roll his eyes and open his mouth, and then he fell under the goal like a pile of mud, and nothing happened. ▲ Then the shooter must be Zhang Fei.

Fifth, I saw that the striker didn't shoot when he brought the ball to the other goal, but stopped. Then I saw him bend down, pick up the football, then respectfully handed the football hands to the goalkeeper, and said with a happy face: Please accept this football in order to end this cruel game as soon as possible. We admit defeat. ▲ Then this person must be Liu Chan.

6. I saw the player stop moving forward, sitting cross-legged on the grass, staring at the football track under his nose: Did I become a football in my dream, or did football become me in my dream? ▲ Then this person must be Zhuangzi.

The striker rushed far ahead, then stopped, took out a black cloth pocket from his clothes, glanced around, and then secretly put the football in. The players of our team caught up with him and asked him: What about football? Pointing out of the court, he replied, The ball has crossed the baseline. ▲ Then this person must be Mr. Dongkuo.

Eight, always rushing to the front, and then when I want to make a move, I suddenly stop, hold my head high, and sing loudly: Laugh at the sky, rush up, is our generation often defeated? Sometimes you break the door by the wind, which will directly drive Germany to win the World Cup. ▲ Then this person must be Li Bai.

Nine, I saw him as light as a swallow, moving quickly, and soon approaching the opponent's goal. But at this moment, his wig was taken off, and his long silky black hair hung down and fluttered like a waterfall. Suddenly, its beautiful flower-like appearance made all the fans in an uproar. However, the players chanted painfully: chirp after chirp, and the whistle on the field kept ringing. I don't smell the national football team, but I smell the female host sigh. Ask a woman what she thinks and what she remembers. Women have nothing to think about, and women have nothing to remember. I was shocked to hear that there was no national football team going to the World Cup. There are 32 teams, and none of them has a name. Grandpa has no eldest son and his daughter has no big brother. I would like to make a city sneaker and sign it for you from now on. ▲ This person is Mulan.

Ten, all the way to kill the enemy, countless. But the whistle of the referee's foul kept coming from his ear. Even so, he kept running with the ball and rushed to the other side of the goal. But at this critical moment, he hesitated: whether to shoot or not? Just as he hesitated, his players caught up with him one by one, and finally persuaded him to go back, and then he was sent off by the referee. ▲ This person is none other than Yue Fei.

Eleven, after easily tackled countless opponents, easily control the football, and quickly take it to the opponent's restricted area and press the goal. At this time, I saw him calmly take out a bag from his pocket, then take out a few things like soybeans from the bag and throw them into his mouth, and then chew them happily, so his face immediately showed a very satisfied and proud color. After eating something like soybeans, he kicked the football out of the goal. ▲ This person must be Lin Biao.

He is tall and the passing speed is not slow, but the opposing player just can't grab his ball. He stopped when the ball was taken to the opponent's goal by him. Later, I saw him sit down with a football as a stool, then slowly took out the front door cigarette from his coat pocket and swallowed it casually. When he smoked, he held his head high and looked thoughtfully at the uncertain front. After a while, another player followed him and tried to grab his ball. I saw him turn around slowly and said contemptuously to the opposing players: all imperialist teams are paper tigers! Hearing this sentence, people who want to grab the ball panicked. Then he stood up calmly, turned around and prepared to shoot. ▲ If you don't know who this person is, you must be non-human.