Detailed description of composition guidance cases

1. Examples of describing paragraphs with details 1. He, already trembling with anger, was livid and glared at his nose and scolded, "You * * *!" He showed no weakness, his eyes were wide open and his mouth was high, as if he could hang a bottle. Teeth rattle. A word on his face turns red and then white. He finally couldn't help it and cursed: "* * *!" (emoticon description)

In fact, he was shaking with anger, his fist clenched tightly and his face was livid. But he kept telling himself: don't be rude, don't call names, it's easier to get angry than difficult, calm down and forgive him! "No, he is really hateful! Finally, I couldn't help it, so I stared at him, pointed my finger at his nose and scolded: "You * * *!" The description of psychological activities makes the article more vivid.

In the classroom, another classmate is making noise. The head teacher came in, and there was a flash of anger on her face. Liu picked it up high, walked into the classroom and pushed the door hard. Shout: "Quiet!" Everyone suddenly quieted down. The teacher was still angry and insisted, saying, "You can do this because of my tolerance. You have been fined ten messages! " (Action description, language description, vivid characters)

My father gave me 50 yuan when I went back to school at the weekend. I don't understand why. Dad smiled and replied, "Buy some review questions and do them at home." Try to get good grades. "Well, I knew it. My father has always asked me to do problems and even regarded me as a "learning machine"! My original happy mood suddenly vanished, and I collapsed on the sofa and burst into tears. (Description of language, psychological activities and actions)

Today's classroom is very quiet, you can clearly hear the sound of a pin falling. Occasionally I hear the sound of turning pages, which is extremely thin and soft. The Chinese teacher smiled at her classmates. Time passed by, but the students did not slack off, writing and counting. I know clearly in my heart: if young people don't work hard, old people will be sad! ""Tick-tock, tick-tock, ding Rinrin ... "The bell rang, which also broke the silence. (Using the auditory description in the "five senses method", the "silence" in the classroom was written)

Detailed description:

1, Introduction:

Detail description is the most important way to describe characters, reveal their inner world, express their subtle and complicated feelings, touch on their relationships and hint at their identities and situations. It is the most vivid and expressive technique, which often tells the truth, goodness, beauty, falsehood and ugliness of characters with wonderful pen and ink, so that readers can appreciate and evaluate it and make the description of the article more delicate and rich. The position of detail description in the article description seems to be idle or redundant, irrelevant and dispensable. But they are all carefully set and arranged by the author and cannot be replaced at will. An article, with proper details, can set off the atmosphere, portray the characters and reveal the theme. The application of detail description should help to express the characters, develop the story, and directly or indirectly reveal the meaning or theme of the work. The details should be as typical and expressive as possible, which can play a role in seeing the big picture from the small. The details should be true. Truth is the life of art, and real details are the premise of real art. Typical environment and typical personality must be based on the truth of details. Without real details, we will lose our touching artistic power. The details should be novel, unique and vital.

2. Precautions:

1. Select typical details:

The more detailed the description in the article, the better. Detail description should grasp typical details, but choose something that is representative, general and can reflect profound themes. Only in this way can it be more extensive and help to highlight the center of the article, thus leaving a deeper impression on people.

2. Observe things carefully:

To make the description vivid, we should mobilize our senses and observe things very carefully in the process of observing things. Everyone has different personality characteristics, so everyone will express his personality in different ways when he speaks or does things. What we have to do is to observe carefully and then accumulate it as writing material. That's how people are described. When describing the scenery and objects in detail, we should grasp the characteristics and changes of the scenery.

3. Obey the needs of the performance center:

Try to make the details meaningful. Detail description is a way to see the big from the small. Although the details are light in weight, they are large in capacity. When we choose the details, we should start with the details, focus on the big picture, see the big picture from the small, and let the small details reflect people's ideological situation and social outlook.

4. Typical facts:

The so-called truth means that the detailed description can accurately and vividly reflect the characteristics of people in real life. The so-called typicality refers to the details described, which are widely representative, and can reflect the general and the whole picture through individual and small things, and reveal the essence through phenomena.

5. Carefully temper words:

In detail description, we should choose appropriate words in order to extract the purpose, even vivid words.

6. Clever use of rhetoric:

The use of figures of speech, such as metaphor, personification and exaggeration, can enhance the vividness of language, turn abstract into concrete, and turn intangible into tangible.

In short, although the details are very small, its role should not be underestimated. Good detail description can make the characters vivid and enhance the authenticity, vividness and appeal of the content. Detail description is a point in the scene, without which there is no scene; It is also a bead in the plot, without which the plot will not be coherent.

2. Detailed description A common example is a detailed description of the development and change process of things.

For example, in the article "Lutai Beats Kansai Town", the description of how Lutai killed Kansai Town with three punches can be regarded as a detailed description of the development and changes of things. Third, please give some examples of detail description: Let's take a look at some examples of detail description we have learned: ① Language detail description: Kong Yiji "How much?" Not much ","a scholar stealing a book is not stealing. "

In Xuanzhi of the Ridge, I recalled my mother's story through an old woman: every time I said Yuyue, "Somewhere, and my mother is here." Yu added, "Your sister is crying in my arms; Mother locked the door with her finger and said,' Are you cold? Do you want something to eat? I responded outside the board of directors ... "A detail, scenes are vivid, no wonder" (Yu) didn't finish, I was crying, I was crying ",that is, readers, can we not be moved to tears? 2 action details description: ... The black man grabbed the lantern, tore off the paper cover, wrapped the steamed bread and stuffed the old bolt; Grab the foreign money in one hand, pinch it, turn around and leave. "

(Lu Xun's Medicine) The author uses verbs such as "grasping" and "pinching" to describe Uncle Kang's action of withdrawing money, accurately describes his proficiency in collecting and counting money, and vividly depicts Uncle Kang's ugly face, which is fierce, greedy and used to extortion. Kong Yiji's "Expel Nine pence" and "A woman's fingers shook and thought that Mei Weizi had cut her hand.

She put a finger in her mouth and took a drag. (Sun Li's Lotus Lake) The author accurately, meticulously and vividly wrote the rich, complicated and subtle emotional world and its subtle psychological changes after the aquatic sister-in-law learned that her husband would go to the army tomorrow. The image of a young woman who cares about her husband and is considerate to him, but deeply understands the righteousness and takes care of the overall situation.

(3) Description of portrait details: "Wearing rain boots, umbrellas and warm cotton-padded clothes" is the same as Rykov's clothing description, and belongs to one aspect of portrait description. It is this exaggerated language and cartoon-like sketch that the author uses to reveal Rykov's various tangible condoms, voluntary psychology and conformism.

This unique portrait description is humorous, funny, ironic and very impressive. For example, a portrait in "Kong Yiji" describes: "He is tall, with a pale face, scars between wrinkles and a messy white beard.

Although I am wearing a robe, it is dirty and torn. It seems that it hasn't been mended or washed for more than ten years. "This description captures the typical details of" robes ". Wearing a gown is a symbol of literati in the imperial examination era, while Kong Yiji's gown is "dirty and torn". The image of a poor and pedantic feudal intellectual appeared before our eyes, which shows that the feudal imperial examination fooled and persecuted intellectuals.

(4) Description of scene details: A description in Medicine: "Old Shuan also looked there, but only saw the backs of a bunch of people; They all stretched out very long, as if many ducks were held up by invisible hands. It was quiet for a while, as if there was some movement, which made people tremble. Bang, they all backed away, dispersed to the place where Old Bolt stood, and almost knocked him down. "

This passage is about the killing of revolutionary Yu Xia, and those bored people are craning their necks to appreciate it, just like a group of "ducks", lifelike, and a metaphor shows the numbness and unconsciousness of the people.

3. Junior high school composition, there are a lot of detailed descriptions, narratives, and one or more specific examples. The requirement is a long and quiet "trip to Suzhou", the sound of nature and the sound of pearls. I seemed to open the yellow thread-bound book under the clear oil lamp and came to the south of the valley. There is a beautiful river with soft aquatic plants floating at the bottom. I've smelled it for two thousand years. Swim back from there and you will be in the middle of the water ... "Playing the flute is like reciting a poem. Tap six holes at a time, just like a long drought meets rain, easily shaking off the fatigue and burnout of the whole body. Ten years of bamboo flute career, ten years of wandering, how many times to regain warmth in indifference, just thank you all the way. I remember my weak childhood-the size of a bamboo flute, short and weak breathing. But I still insisted on choosing the bamboo flute, not because of the beauty of the literati's silk and bamboo, but because of the intoxication when listening to the teacher playing in the corner. Therefore, I have your company on the road of life. I remember the first time I played the whole "Running Water". I held you in my hand and put my feelings into you with my whole heart and love. At that time, teachers and classmates applauded me. You were with me, so you came over without hesitation. In your world, I realized the elegance and richness of Maolin bamboo cultivation, and the grandeur of "looking up at the universe and overlooking the prosperity of categories". It was a kind of caring for the world, a kind of naive expectation, a kind of detachment from things, and a kind of ecstasy dancing with music. But I am the first person to tell you the good news. Only then did I realize that I have been with you all the way through ups and downs. With your tolerance, my fingers beat at will and my feelings are expressed without reservation. I hold you like an old friend who has been away for many years. The geese passed without a trace, and the wind blew invisibly, day after day, year after year. You followed me and tasted spring and summer. Thank you for accompanying me all the way. To this day, I still refuse to leave you until the college entrance examination. Often a cup of fragrant tea, a book, and a song "Song of Burying Flowers" are extremely rich evening self-study. Every time I play it, it seems that before I came to Hua Zhong, I sang with Princess Xiaoxiang, "Flowers are flying all over the sky, red incense is broken ..." After I let go of my thoughts, I began to study nervously again.

4. How to describe the details of the composition? Detail description is a subtle and typical description of the development of events and the character, portrait, psychology, action and environment of the characters.

There are three types of detailed descriptions. The first category is the description of characters' details, including the detailed description of the characters' appearance, language, movements, modality and psychology. We have practiced a lot in writing character compositions, but not many students can describe the characters in detail and successfully.

When writing a person's composition, students often introduce a person's appearance in order to write a good person, and then highlight some personality characteristics of this person with one or two things. This writing mode is correct, but the problem lies in your description of characters and plots.

Some students often write this way when describing the appearance of the characters: She is ⅹⅹ years old this year, neither tall nor short, a little fat. Long \ short hair, curved arch eyebrows on a round face, round black eyes under the eyebrows, a high nose bridge at present, a cherry-like mouth under the nose, and two lovely dimples when laughing.

I don't deny that it can be written like this. But the first person who wrote this was successful, because he had certain details about the appearance of the characters, but not everyone's face was round, long and pointed. Almost all pure China people have black eyes, big mouths, thick lips and many dimples. Then when you describe characters in your composition, you should not stereotype others, and don't always use words like "round", "high" and "black", which will look corny if you use them again.

In addition, when describing the appearance of a character, the person who writes in this way does not write the most special place of this person's appearance, nor does he describe the distinctive temperament of the character and express some personality characteristics of the character through the description of appearance. Therefore, it can only be said that he wrote the appearance for the sake of writing the appearance, and did not grasp the "typical" of this character.

I think besides the delicate description of the characters, a typical and meaningful description is needed. Case (1): "I remember one time, my dad got drunk and got angry when he got home, so he began to hit people and call names. That day, I was beaten by my father. "

Like this story, there are no details. For example, what does this father look like when he is drunk? Why are you angry? How to hit people? How do you curse? What is my heart after being beaten? If these are not carefully written, the plot will lose its function of expressing the theme.

We read your composition not simply to know that you have been beaten, but to read something more meaningful in the article or to watch a wonderful "performance". Situation (2): It is not difficult for (him) to stumble to the side of the railway and lean down slowly.

But it is not easy for him to climb the platform over there when he crosses the railway. He climbed up with his hands and his feet shrank again; His fat body leans slightly to the left, showing the appearance of hard work. At this time, I saw his back, and my tears soon flowed down.

On the contrary, this passage describes the action of my father climbing onto the platform to buy me oranges, which shows us an elderly father's sincere love for his son. This is also the most touching part of the article "Back".

The second category is the description of scenery details. It includes a detailed description of natural environment, social environment, animals and still life.

"Listen, the pen tip rustles on the paper, like silkworms chewing mulberry leaves, like warm wind blowing poplars, like autumn rain kissing phoenix trees, and like tinkling singing in spring. The pen moves with the wrist, and the words extend with the idea, one by one, line by line, page by page. Looking horizontally, it looks like a group of ants. Looking horizontally, it looks like a military parade.

Don't you think it's a pleasure to look beautiful, neat and pleasing to the eye and hold the fruits of your labor? "This is a typical description of the specific environment during the exam, which reflects the beauty of the sound made by the pen when students take the exam seriously, and also sets off the psychological characteristics of calm and confident characters during the exam. The third category is the description of life details.

Including a detailed description of the plot and events. Scene description: It is a picture description of people's activities when an event occurs.

"The terrible English exam began. Usually I am "smart" in English class, and I am at a loss for a while. At this moment, I suddenly remembered the life-saving straw-English textbooks. But at this time, the serious "old English" eyes are just like the laser emitted from the classroom! My heart is pounding.

"Alas, I can't bear to part with my children or wolves!" I gritted my teeth and slowly dragged the English textbook out of the desk. "XXX, what are you doing? ! "Hearing" Old Ying "exclaim, I was so ashamed that I almost got into the mouse hole."

The beauty of this passage lies in the author's description of the characters' psychology, demeanor and movements just right. It's vivid to read and humorous to be there.

How to make the details concrete and vivid? (1) Observe and perceive carefully; (2) carefully temper the text; (3) Clever use of rhetoric. Is there any way to describe the details of success? I summarize as follows.

(1) Step-by-step questioning method is also called step-by-step expansion method. For example, "a small silver dollar fell to the ground."

We can ask, "What silver dollar is this?" "Whose silver dollar?" "Who dropped the silver dollar?" "How did the silver dollar fall to the ground?" "What happened after falling to the ground?" "I saw a little girl, young, thin and poorly dressed." Demonstration sentence: I saw a little girl, only about eight or nine years old, with a thin and pale face, purple lips with cold, short hair, worn-out clothes and sandals barefoot.

(2) Imagination extension method: What is the actual situation asked above? You can learn by demonstrating experiments, but you can't demonstrate everything yourself when you do it. The actual state can only be made reasonable through association and imagination. This process is also called imagination extension.

5. Composition Guidance Class [Composition Guidance Class] Composition: Interesting Childhood Name: Guo Yuhua Unit: Weicheng Experimental Primary School, Weifang City, Shandong Province Zip code: 26 102 1 Tel: 0536-8325089 Textbook: Volume 11 (People's Education Edition) Experimental Class: Class 1, Grade 6 Teaching Time. Teaching and Evaluation Overall Design Teaching Content Six-year Primary School Chinese (People's Education Edition) Volume 11 Composition (Interesting Childhood) Exercise Guidance Evaluation Teaching Design Teaching Objective Knowledge The specific writing method of objectively understanding things is to describe the language, movements, psychology and demeanor of the characters, and the composition guides the class.

Competency goal 1. The content is concrete and the feelings are true. 2. Be able to choose materials around the core of the matter.

2. The sentences are fluent and the handwriting is standard and neat. Breakthrough of key and difficult points in capacity development 1. We can choose materials around the core of things.

2. The content is concrete and feels real. Pre-school situational analysis students began to pay attention to the selection of materials around the center, from the beginning of nature to the beginning of diversification.

However, some students still choose materials that deviate from the center or are not closely related to the center, and the content written is not specific enough. Key points of teaching evaluation design 1. "Appreciation-suggestion" comment.

2. Formative evaluation tool for senior high school writing. 3. Understand the progress and shortcomings of students' composition, so that teachers and students can take corresponding learning and teaching measures more pertinently, promote students' better development and further improve their writing ability.

Second, the teaching process design, the combination of teaching content and project results and evaluation tools evaluation activities design intention Pre-class evaluation activities collection materials: childhood fun accumulation writing materials students' self-evaluation to stimulate students' interest in writing process evaluation activities steps 1 Introducing new courses to stimulate students' interest in writing teacher evaluation to stimulate interest step 2 Examining questions and clarifying writing requirements teacher evaluation and clarifying practice requirements steps. 3 inspire and guide students to choose materials. Willing to express and exchange students' mutual evaluation to improve their ability of selecting materials. The fourth step is to write instructions and write specific contents. Teachers and students evaluate each other and improve their writing ability. Step 5: Students practice writing, write their true feelings and improve their writing ability. The sixth step is to evaluate your willingness to show your work to others. Willing to accept the opinions and suggestions put forward by others to stimulate interest and improve ability. The seventh step is to consolidate the understanding of writing through mutual evaluation between teachers and students. After-class evaluation activity composition: willing to accept suggestions from others. "Appreciation-suggestion" comments stimulate interest and improve ability III. Classroom teaching and evaluation record childhood fun (link 1) Introducer: People say: "Childhood is golden." How to understand this sentence? Health: childhood was wonderful.

Health: I had a happy childhood. Health: childhood is happy.

Health: childhood is very happy and unforgettable. Health: Childhood is precious.

Teacher: That's good! Yes, childhood is like a treasure bag, full of happy, happy and interesting memories. What interesting things happened in your childhood? Look, so many students can't wait to tell everyone! Ok, in this class, let's write an interesting story about your childhood and see whose experience is the most interesting. Please look at the topic together.

Students read the topic together. (Link 2) Examining questions 1. Define the range of material selection.

Teacher: After reading the topic, who can tell you what the material requirements for this composition are? Student: The selection of materials should be very interesting. Teacher: The student caught the most important content of this composition at once.

(The teacher circles the word "fun" on the blackboard) Health: The materials you choose should be happy and have real feelings. Teacher: Oh, be sincere. Yes, only such an article can move people.

Health: Choose interesting things that happened in childhood. Teacher: That's good! The teacher drew a curve under "childhood" with chalk. ) teacher: the students examined the questions very well and caught the focus of this composition at once.

In other words, the most important thing in this composition is to write about what happened in childhood-health: fun. 2. Clear writing requirements.

Teacher: Let's read the writing requirements again. (Show) All the students read it together: the content is specific, the sentences are fluent, the feelings are true, and it is carefully revised after writing.

Teacher: How can I write this composition well? The teacher found that there are two most important things to do: first, choose the right materials; Second, write the specific content. Choose the materials first.

(Write on the blackboard at the same time) (Link 3) Enlighten and guide students to choose teachers: Let's seriously recall what interesting things happened when you were a child. Choose one thing that you find most interesting and tell it to your deskmate. Let's see whose childhood is the most interesting. Teacher: Just now, the teacher saw many students talking happily. Who wants to tell you what happened in childhood? Health: Once my mother took me to my grandmother's house to play. My mother and my grandmother are talking. I was bored, so I went to play with the children.

We were playing hide-and-seek, and a child was hiding behind the iron gate of their compound. Because there was a crack in the iron gate, I saw her shoes and carried her out. Another classmate hid under the bed, because the sheets were not on the floor, so I caught her out again.

The funniest thing is that a classmate hid in the quilt on her bed, and then I couldn't find her out at last. Teacher: This classmate is talking about hide and seek.

Do you think what she said is interesting? Why? Health: What she said is not very interesting, because what she said is not very vivid and can't move us. Teacher: Oh, the language is not vivid enough, is it? Then how do you think language can be vivid? Students can think about this problem first, and then you should listen carefully when we learn to write.

Who can tell us something interesting about your childhood? Attention, other students Health: When I was young, before I moved, there was a river in front of my yard. Once it rained, there were many little frogs and tadpoles in the river. The water rose, which washed tadpoles and frogs up. Then I put the frog in a small ice cream box and put it back in the river. Then I saw them swimming happily in the river.

Teacher: Who will comment? Do you think what he said is interesting? Health: I think it's very interesting because he loves being young.

6. How to guide the detailed description and analysis of material problems in exercise teaching, and how to start, so as to better complete the teaching task; 3。

Moreover, it can better combine teaching with practice and better reflect the problem from the beginning. The teaching method is flexible and boring, so that students can master the main points of knowledge, train their skills and put the knowledge points in place in a relaxed and happy atmosphere. I also need to strengthen my business study.

There is also the spirit of the new curriculum reform that adopts the learning mode of "independent cooperation and inquiry". Excellent students in the fourth grade in the student group foster their strengths and avoid weaknesses, and pay attention to the cultivation of students' independent ability. Especially in view of the poor study habits of students in this class and the fact that they hardly do anything after class, students' participation is very high.

Finally, the dialing is not thorough enough, only a matter of time; 2. Individual materials are not typical enough and should be consolidated and implemented in class. In addition, from the connotation and function of details, wisdom and wisdom collide and exchange needed goods. Second, it is convenient to integrate theory with practice. Third, it is easy to understand. This lesson quotes a large number of text paragraphs, especially those that students have learned recently, to guide students to understand the methods and skills of writing, which is easy to deepen students' impression and easy to understand and master. Taking classic paragraphs as a springboard to guide students' writing is a model. In the future work, how to guide the detailed description in exercise teaching: from the introduction of this class in class: 1, the summary of this class, to the presentation of students with slides, what problems to pay attention to, and then to the principle of detailed description, all of them are summarized as a theoretical point of view, which is suspected of "covering everything"

The teacher's language has not been polished. In short, the improvement of theoretical literacy.

Of course, there are some shortcomings in this course, especially professional knowledge, mutual evaluation, democratic and harmonious classroom atmosphere, cooperative learning, inquiry learning, the implementation of teaching process and the completion of classroom exercises, which can be completed under the guidance of objectives and carried out better according to the characteristics of teaching materials and the actual situation of students.