In a word, 28 funny quotations _ Laugh to death without paying.

1, I lay on the ground and vomited foam for a long time, only to find that my grandmother was dead.

2. Before being shot, the young man shouted in despair: Who the fuck told me that killing lives long!

Feng Laohan received a critical notice from the doctor to his son, and then calmly wrote down what he read.

4. Sometimes when I feel a lot of pressure, I will knead instant noodles, shrimp strips and grandma with weak bones.

I will go to the operating table tomorrow. What program should I perform?

6. After sticking to the murderer, the police never let go of the biting criminal's mouth.

7. Wukong shouted to eat my old grandson, but King Jinjiao was shocked and opened his mouth.

8. The act of flogging shows a very ugly moral problem: bullying honest people.

9. Your Majesty, Po Hou went into a worse place, clamoring to know who shot him on the stone.

10, the candidates for the college entrance examination will be late for the exam, and the enthusiastic taxi driver will send them to the Internet cafe.

1 1. My neighbor actually scolded his wife. If it wasn't too cold, I really wanted to come out of his closet and beat him up.

12, timid Xiaoming practiced courage for 20 years and finally got gallbladder edema.

13. Tomorrow is my roommate's birthday. Kill or not?

14, quarreled with his girlfriend, threatened to wait and see, and now he has looked at each other for more than ten miles.

15. Mothballs are the worst hard candy I have ever eaten. They have a strange smell. How can anyone buy it?

16. When my friends get married, I wish them an early birth and let me go out. Am I wrong? Is homosexuality a big deal?

17. In order to treat facial paralysis, the doctor downloaded the 1GB expression pack for me.

18. How should I abuse a family in order to be on the famous star-making program "Deformation Meter"?

19, the fortune teller said that I was rich all my life, and only after I died did I know that billions were small money.

20. Boss, do these big fish have teeth in their mouths? He said no, so I picked the one with the biggest mouth and started to take off my pants.

2 1. In class, suddenly rushed into two bull's-head faces to take away Xiao Ming's ill-fated life, and the whole class cast envious eyes one after another.

22. Guess who I am? Xiaoming picked up the rope and grabbed the teacher by the neck.

23. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, he finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

24. In return for my beloved bed being slept by me every day, I decided to get under the bed and let the bed sleep me for one night.

There are many wild boars on the way to school recently. Please be careful not to step on wild boar shit.

26. After the words loyal to the country were engraved on his back, Yue Fei's mother Yu Xing dug up another 3D effect.

27. After strangling the 500th classmate, the idiot finally learned to wear a red scarf.

28. Wang Laohan, who longed for his son, went to the temple to pray for Guanyin Bodhisattva to give him a son.

28 funny quotations in one sentence _ classic sentences

1, isn't there half a cucumber in the refrigerator? Go and fry four dishes for the children.

When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock.

3. Ugliness is not your fault; Ugly and show off in an ostentatious manner everywhere, sister, I was wrong!

4, our love, the doctor said: he has tried his best.

5, the atmosphere, to serve the dog with morality.

6. Those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, and those who are afraid of debt are really poor.

7. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

8, brother is not Baidu, don't ask me everything!

9. Hard life needs no explanation!

10, as long as you work hard, shit is serious.

1 1, don't give Colby muscles, my family raises chickens!

12, don't always say I'm fat, I'm afraid you can't resist losing weight.

13, don't dig Lao Tzu's grave, because I am also a grave robber.

14, how much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

15, I am not wrong, but I have never been right!

16, he is a pig who doesn't read, but a literate pig who reads.

17, grandstanding, you are not qualified; Play dumb, you have gone too far!

18, why should a good grain of rice spoil a pot of mouse excrement?

19, don't mess with me, or I'll let you die rhythmically.

20, the foundation is poor, even if you pay more money, you will become a fairy, you will still be born!

2 1, I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

22. It's all boiled water. Don't pretend to be Youlemei.

23. Wear other people's shoes and take other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor find their way.

24. I hate that my grandfather is not surnamed Li, and I hate that my father is not straight.

25. When I said I couldn't afford to be hurt, it was the day when your house caught fire.

26. I was also the seed of infatuation, and I drowned in the rain.

27. If you don't deteriorate in debauchery, you will deteriorate in silence.

28. The third person is not the later one, but the one who doesn't love deeply.

50 funny quotations in one sentence _ Laugh to death

1, I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.

2, Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.

3, shameless, doing well is called excellent psychological quality!

I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

The happiness of ostrich is just a pile of sand.

6. Teacher, I met a robber, but my homework was robbed.

7. How many students lost to the last part of the text: reciting the full text.

8. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

9, chess and calligraphy can not, laundry and cooking are too tired.

10, I usually scold you, and I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

1 1. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.

12, God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and tired.

13, women are anxious when men don't make money, and women regret when men make money.

14, there are no inseparable couples, only mistresses who don't work hard.

15, don't say sorry to me, because we don't matter.

16, not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

17, fell down, get up and cry.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

19, parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

20. This is often the case, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a bad horse, there may not be a returning grass waiting for you.

2 1, dreaming is the earliest wireless communication mode in human history.

22. Red beans don't grow in the south, but grow on my face. I really miss them!

23. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture.

24. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

25, hum, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

26, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

27, salted fish turn over, or salted fish.

28, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

29. Knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important.

30. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

3 1, you must work hard! For your Audi, my Dior.

32. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

33. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

34. I like you so much that you will die.

35. When I love you, you are what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

36. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

37. If the exam could reward QB, the country would have been rich and strong.

38, people can't extricate themselves, except teeth and love.

39. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

40. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

4 1, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

42. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

43. People have backgrounds, and people have backgrounds.

44. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

45, everyone loves, flowers bloom and fall, and the car sees a flat tire!

46. If I'm drunk and I don't accept anyone, I'll hold the wall!

47, after breaking up, you when I sacrifice me when you die, finished.

48, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

49. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

50. Youth is dedicated to the house and middle age to the children.

A sentence that kills people without paying for their lives.

A sentence that kills people without paying for their lives.

1, you don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

2. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

3, the sea is wide with diving and beating drums.

4. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

5. Smoke is not obedient, so we smoke.

6. It's better to be beautiful than to live beautifully!

7. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

8. I thought that if I was "invisible", others would not find me. It's no use. People like me, like fireflies in the dark, are bright enough and outstanding enough.

9. Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

10, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock!

1 1, it was pulled out before it could be molested.

12, everyone is original at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

13, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that you must have a brain.

14. Lie down where you fell.

15, I'm not a prince, why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me!

16, the most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

17. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

18, being busy is a kind of happiness, which makes us have no time to experience pain; Running around is a kind of happiness, which makes us truly feel life; Fatigue is a kind of enjoyment, which leaves us no time to be empty.

19. In front of the China team, the Thai team wearing the yellow jersey also had the demeanor of the Brazilian team in a trance.

20. When the Eight Immortals cross the sea, find every mother and the Eight Immortals cross the sea. Please keep your seat belt fastened.

Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are both made of cement.

22. Men in bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly looking for excitement.

23. Don't blame the dog for following a steamed stuffed bun.

24. When you can't figure it out, think about yourself in China, and everything will suddenly become clear.

25. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

26. Put up two fingers and say to the students, "Students, the key to learning math well is three words! ! Do more exercise.

27, unreasonable, there must be a picture!

28. Happiness is a comparative level. You have to have something at the bottom to feel it.

29. One sentence "Take it" is better than two sentences "I'll give it to you".

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

3 1, when a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary from now on, and there is no independence day.

32. Close my eyes and I see my future. ...

33. When the road is rough, shout loudly and move on.