Fortune telling jokes _ Fortune telling jokes

A complete collection of humorous jokes in the three kingdoms

When you see a joke, you forget the unhappy thing with a smile. The following is the complete works of humor in the Three Kingdoms. Let's go and have a look!

Sanying weapon

Liu, Guan and Zhang defected to Cao Cao, who was very happy and gave them new weapons. Liu Bei said, Bring me a sword. Guan Yu said, I'll get a knife. Zhang Fei said: engage in spears. Cao Cao was unhappy and kicked Zhang Fei out. Zhang Fei was in a hurry and shouted to Cao Cao: Fuck! Spear, spear ...

The slope is too steep.

Zhuge Liang commanded the battle, and every time he followed the army in a chariot. Once there was a war, as soon as it started, he took the lead in driving to the enemy. The morale of the army was greatly boosted, followed by a big break. After the war, everyone praised: "The strategist is brave!" "Shit, the slope is too steep, I didn't stop the car!" Liang said.

Zhuge fortune-telling

Mr. Shuijing told Zhuge Liang's fortune. Mr. Shui Jing said, "You are doomed to meet no beautiful women and marry no ugly women in the first half of your life." Zhuge Liang asked expectantly, "What about the rest of my life?" Mr. Shuijing said, "You will get used to living with that ugly girl all your life."

Seven-hole nod

Wang Yun: "I give you a seven-star nod. Please wait for an opportunity to assassinate Dong Zhuo! " Cao Cao thinks the seven gems on this knife are very beautiful. The next day, Cao Cao offered a knife, and Dong Zhuo said, "This knife is really beautiful, especially these seven concave holes, which are quite distinctive."

Your horse, it's your horse

Before Lu Bu was captured alive by Cao Cao, he boasted that there was a BMW red rabbit. After Cao Cao captured Lu Bu, he smiled and pointed to the red rabbit and said, "Cloth, your horse." Lu Bu turned back with a wry smile: "Fuck, your horse!" Later, Lu Bu was strangled.

Made an elegant gesture.

A soldier's father died in Zhang Feiying. The soldiers were training when the news came. Zhang Fei called the soldier out and said, "Hey, your father is dead." After Liu Bei knew it, he said to Zhang Fei, "You should speak more tactfully in the future, or it will be too hard for others." Soon, a soldier's mother died. After Zhang Fei knew it, he said to the queue, "Mom, take a step forward alive." Then he pointed to the soldier and said, "You, stay where you are."

anonymous letter

Cao Cao sat there alone, his expression extremely depressed. Guo Jia asked why. Cao Cao: "I received an anonymous letter yesterday saying that he would kill me if I didn't leave his wife!" " "Guo Jia:" Master, you are a man who does great things. You can't do such childish things. Leave his wife! "Cao Cao:" But this is an anonymous letter. I don't know who wrote it to me. "

A general who is often defeated

Zhang Bao came home trembling and said to Zhang Fei, "Dad, I went out today and got lost again!" " Zhang Fei thundered, "Next time you lose the battle, don't call me dad!" A few days later, after Zhang Bao came back from the battlefield, he bowed his head and said to Zhang Fei, "Sorry, brother!"

There is nothing between me and Lu Bu.

Deusim's story: "I need a man." Wang Yun: "According to my long-term observation, I think Lu Bu is a good candidate." Diusim's story: "Don't you feel bad when I am with Lu Bu?" Wang Yun: "Lu Bu is not my type. I have nothing to do with him. Don't worry. " The story of diusim: …

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