What is the reason for past lives?

Why did we meet, fall in love and get married? Why are we still together without feelings? Why do couples torture each other? Why do lovers separate and abusers stay together for a long time? These questions have been asked countless times, and there are various reasons to explain them in a secular way, which can be solved with a word from Buddhism-karma! Cross the boat for ten years and sleep together for a hundred years. Two people can become husband and wife, in addition to love, but also need fate. Looking around the world, how can we meet? Is it in the dark that marriage has long been doomed? However, why after marriage, some people are sweet and happy, some people live together just to torture each other, some people love each other very much, but one of them dies young and can't be together, some people love each other but can't get a response from each other, some people love each other but can't get rid of their present marriage after moving on, and even lead to their final death, and some people love each other but have common beliefs and practice together for life? These questions are mysteries in many people's minds. This paper will discuss these issues for your reference. As for' how to manage love?' How to solve the disputes between them? How to practice together to achieve a complete life and successful practice? This is beyond the scope of this article and will be discussed in the next article. These need to be discussed together to provide good knowledge, experience and guidance. This paper discusses the essence of love in turn, then discusses the types of husband-wife relationship and explains the characteristics of each type. Finally, it is about the attitude suggested by laymen to learn Buddhism in the face of various karma. Love is essentially a combination of will and karma. Many people in the world have been praising and advocating love since ancient times, hoping that love can make lovers get married. Romantic and beautiful love stories have made many people cry, such as butterfly lovers in China, Romeo and Juliet in the west and so on. But from what angle does Buddhism explain it? From the Buddhist point of view, love is essentially a combination of' wish' and' karma'. The so-called' willingness' is an active force, which comes from the inner' will'; The so-called "karma" is a passive and involuntary force, but also from the heart, just "unwilling." These two forces will promote the occurrence of love. Of course, there are various reasons in the world, such as tenderness, thoughtfulness, beauty and generosity, understanding, rich family and so on. As far as "wish" is concerned, if a couple is very loving and wants to continue to be husband and wife in the afterlife, they will make a wish before the Buddha, hoping to be husband and wife again in the afterlife, or even be husband and wife forever. This will appear when the time is right in the future (no matter what people become). Or men and women lovers who love each other deeply in this life, because of war or family opposition, there is no chance to become husband and wife in this life. The two agreed with each other, hoping to become husband and wife again in the next life. Because both of them remember this agreement, when they meet again in reincarnation, they will have a feeling of deja vu and even decide to spend their lives together soon. There is another situation, because of the kindness of the other party, there is no return, such as saving lives, or helping to pay debts, or saving parents' loved ones, so I am willing to be a cow and a horse in the afterlife as a return. Therefore, because of the desire to be grateful, I may become a wife in the afterlife, willingly and without complaint. This' willingness' will still happen after many generations. As far as karma is concerned, if a person owes a huge debt, he can't pay it back, although he hasn't paid off the debt until his death (some people deliberately don't pay it back), and then a force will work in the future. In the case of becoming husband and wife, the husband (wife) has a kind of helplessness. Why does his wife (husband) always torture him? He could do nothing but submit to humiliation and bear such pressure, and the two became bitter couples. And if in the past, originally a husband and wife, the husband abandoned his wife (for example, a new love, or malicious abandonment, or seclusion), causing his wife's disgust, then he may be abandoned by the other half (or tortured to pay off debts) in this life. This' karma' will happen no matter how far the world is, no matter how time and space change, no matter what it becomes. Because of the interaction between will and karma, as well as the differences in habits, family, education and ideas between them, and the intervention of others, there are different forms between men and women, which also constitutes the love between men and women in the world. Next, I will discuss the types of husband-wife relationship and provide my personal views for reference. Types of husband-wife relationship The types of husband-wife relationship can be roughly divided into five categories: First, loving type: Although two people get along for different reasons, because of the past relationship, two people have formed a good relationship, which is very loving and difficult to separate. Second, the type of resentment: in the past, bad feelings were formed, and the two got along, or were cold, or quarreled, or oppressed and hurt, or even killed each other. Third, the bird's nest type: the relationship between the two is simple, the feelings are dull and unstable, and they may be separated at any time. 4. Stable: In addition to feelings, the relationship between two people is usually guaranteed by other factors, such as career, family and life background, so it is still stable. 5. Group meditation: Apart from good feelings, there are also religious and spiritual reasons. The truth of these karma: 1. Type of love (1) The type of love between men and women: Both men and women are deeply involved in lust, and it is deeper than lust. Both sides believe that the only way to express love is to have physical contact with honey. Modern people have more and more open ideas about love. As long as I like it, why not? Love based on' lust' is easy to happen. These men and women are all debts owed by themselves in the past, and they have long been out of evil ways, so they have deep habits. (2) Respect each other as guests: steady and harmonious. Because the two sides are mature and stable, they can consider each other and are not self-centered, so there are fewer disputes when they get along. This is love based on maturity. These men and women used to have a good fate, taking care of each other and caring for each other. (3) Sweet as glue: The two are as sweet as glue, but they are more dependent on each other in character and lack independence. Feelings are interdependent. This is love based on' interdependence'. This kind of family members, such as father, son, mother and daughter, who had deep feelings in the past, met in this life. Because of their deep affection in the past, they are still so strongly interdependent and possessive in their lives. (4) Fathers are like women: there is a big age gap between men and women. Men are old, reliable and steady, while women are young, dependent on coquetry and get along like father and daughter. For example, a husband in his fifties and sixties and a wife in his twenties and thirties get along quite happily. This is love based on' caring'. (5) Flying with me: Because of the same personality and ideals, we can also cooperate with each other, just like flying with me, knowing each other and cherishing each other and working hard for the ideal goal. Although there are setbacks, we can work together, so this is love based on' ideal'. (6) Mutual appreciation type: Both men and women may be equally down and out, or both are ambitious and unable to display their talents, or both are born in poverty, so they understand each other. Appreciate each other, join hands with each other and work together. This is love based on' mutual understanding'. (7) Deep ocean: We have been friends for many years, but we have deep feelings. After years of experience, we cherish this friendship with each other, so we began to love each other from love. On the basis of profound friendship, this love can stand the test of time. Honey love generally comes from the beautiful karma that has been formed in the past (whether in past lives or in this life), leaving a good feeling, whether it is kindness, love, affection or friendship, leaving a good memory in each other's consciousness or subconscious. From this perspective, a Buddhist should be kind to each other, pay for each other, care about each other and leave a good impression. No matter in this life or in the afterlife, at least when we get along or meet again, we can repay each other's kindness and get along with each other with a good attitude. This is also a' virtuous circle'. Don't envy others' love, all this is just a' good dream'! Second, the types of resentment (a) hatred is as deep as the sea: there is a deep hatred between each other. In the interaction between the two sides, dissatisfaction, hatred and anger gradually emerged, until' enemies meet, especially jealous', as if they had married hatred for more than ten years. Maybe they were really enemies in their last life, which is impressive, because some karma made them get married in this life, but once the sweet past, the past grievances will emerge from the subconscious. (2) Debt collection: It is not a pity that one party consumes the good news of the other. It is common for husbands to work hard and wives to spend money lavishly. Or the wife is frugal, but the husband gambles all his money; Or the wife takes good care of her husband, but lets her idle husband abuse her and dare not say anything. Maybe the same scene existed in the past, but the roles were reversed. Now that time and space have changed, what is owed must always be paid back. (3) Death-seeking type: one party murdered the other party, but there was no great hatred, perhaps just for a trivial matter, and then the other party was killed by mistake. Couples may have accumulated a lot of frustration and resentment, but they generally don't kill their husbands or wives. However, if there is a cause and effect of killing each other in previous lives (not necessarily husband and wife, but also animals such as cats and dogs) and become husband and wife in this life, it is very likely that there will be a situation of' begging for life' and the consequences will occur consciously or unconsciously. If you have killed each other, even if you go to the ends of the earth, you will still meet and you will not run away. (4) Quarrel type: often quarreling over trivial matters, and quarreling as a bee. Maybe they have different opinions, different habits, or love quarreling (some even regard quarreling as a sport). Anyway, it is common to have a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every five days. Open social news, examples can be seen everywhere. Fighting, throwing sulfuric acid, running away from home and jumping off a building because of quarreling are also problems in modern society. If there is a quarrel, we must treat each other with compassion, and the atmosphere of the quarrel will be reduced. If we take quarreling for granted, it will destroy the harmony of life (anger will fly all over the sky, and people's emotional state will be difficult to keep calm). (5) Abandonment type: one party abandons the other regardless of the other's life or death. If the husband abandons his wife and children and goes to other places, or if the man has a new love and abandons his old love. This kind of abandonment will cause the other party's deep resentment, which will lead to "revenge" in the future time and space (especially the so-called "revenge" behavior (especially the so-called "malicious abandonment"). The party that abandons others will leave the memory of' debt'. For being retaliated, it is virtually regarded as a fate and can only be helpless. If you abandon your wife and daughter and become a monk, because of the termination of the original karma between husband and wife, even if you practice successfully in this life, you still have to be reborn and remarried. Only when the fate is perfect can there be no reincarnation. This is the truth that' cause and effect are unambiguous'. (6) Respect each other like ice: the two sides are indifferent and no longer think about each other, but they don't tear their faces. Although they live under the same roof, they look different and are separated from each other. They simply live their own lives and don't care about each other. Usually it's because our fate (or good luck) is almost gone, so we don't feel anything. Nominally, all that remains is the name of the marriage contract. If there are different objects at this time, it means that the old karma has ended and another karma has started (even if there is no divorce, the old karma is equal to the end). (7) Perseverance: The two sides compare their academic qualifications, earn money, have a high family background, high status and strong ability, and do not admit defeat to each other (in fact, they are still relatively realm and divine power). Under the influence of competitiveness, life is like a war. To save face, I don't give up at all. Some immortals and Asura also have this habit, so when they were transferred to earth, they performed well in all aspects, but they just "refused to admit defeat" and followed the previous habit. (8) Eccentric type: one party is eccentric and difficult to get along with, and the other party has to swallow it. For example, Mr. Wang is a lonely, cynical and incomparable hero, but he is ambitious and has achieved nothing in the end. As a wife, he is helpless and speechless; Or the wife is convinced that fortune tellers are usually eccentric people who don't know that they are' eccentric', but instead think that they are self-righteous and complain about others. Exploring the reasons, on the one hand, is' lack of compassion', on the other hand, it is caused by' stupid career'. Lack of compassion, so you can't be kind to each other; Because he is crazy about his career, he is self-righteous and eccentric and doesn't know it. (9) Running away from home: Husband or wife often want to run away from home in order to get rid of the bondage of family. Maybe there is no affair or ideal, but there is a lot of pressure and constraint at home, and I don't have enough courage to face the pressure and constraint, so I often run away from home, linger outside, maybe go to a friend's house, maybe drink, maybe stay in the company to work overtime, and don't go home on an excuse. This is also the type that has no courage to take responsibility. Such people, who used to make others feel depressed and bored, have to endure it in this life. (10) Abusive type: persecuting each other by cruel and vicious means such as rough, beating, flogging and being locked in a secret room. This kind of abuse is a kind of torture for the abused, both physically and mentally. This kind of pain will be deeply recorded in consciousness and subconscious. There will always be opportunities for revenge and torture each other to death. It is impossible to live without dying. This cruel mentality of the other party is due to the great grievances in the past, which will continue to cause extremely heavy bad karma in this life, and it is easy to cause hell seeds in the eight minds. This kind of love between husband and wife can also be called' love in hell'. There are many resentments in the world, and the above is just a rough list. These reasons caused both parties to feel helpless, resentful and unable to solve, and finally resorted to the law and demanded a divorce. At the same time, the two sides have formed a bad relationship. In the future life, things may repeat themselves, but the roles are reversed, and all beings will stage this helpless tragedy again and again in the cycle of life and death. This is' evil return'. Is there a day when the helpless tragedy will end? Many people think that learning Buddhism or escaping into an empty door can get rid of this nightmare of reincarnation. This statement is correct on the surface, but even the most brilliant yogi should pay off the old bad debts. This is the law of cause and effect in the legal world, and no one in the legal world can avoid customs. The negative side is repentance, and the positive side is sincerely asking Buddha and Bodhisattva to help disciples face it (not all Buddha and Bodhisattva will be rewarded, and many people who study Buddhism will misunderstand and blame Buddha and Bodhisattva for not caring for their blessings). The details vary from person to person, and you need to consult good knowledge to solve them. After decades of life, why should we have a bad relationship? If we can treat each other with the most positive attitude, be kind to each other, be merciful and bear the burden of humiliation, even if there is a bad relationship, it will eventually be resolved and then become a good relationship. Don't be self-righteous and want to be served by the other party. If you don't know, you will have to pay for it in the future. Perhaps this is alarmist, but the legal world has its own law of cause and effect, which you and I can't deny at will. 3. Bird's Nest Bird's Nest means a simple but unstable relationship, just like a bird's nest. The relationship between two people is only temporary, or weak, and it is possible to separate at any time. This means that although they are doomed, they are not practical and profound. (1) Same fate: Both sides have no achievements, no social status, are ignored by society, live in a dark corner, and are in the same boat. For example, runaway couples or illegal immigrants may not know what will happen tomorrow. Since ancient times, after the war, many couples have fallen into this fate. (2) Dewdrop Yuanyang: The karma is not deep, just like Dewdrop Yuanyang. Today they are destined to meet, but tomorrow they will go their separate ways. This kind of love is mostly because the man was born in the past and once saved the woman's life. As a result, a woman fell in love with a man all her life, and with a one-night fate, she saved her life unconsciously. In the past, the so-called' saving lives', as far as Buddhism is concerned, there are various ways to repay this saving life (and it must be repaid), but the most emotional way. (3) Passers-by: Some couples get married soon, or get terminally ill, have a sudden illness, or have an accident, that is, they die. Of course, family members are sad, and what's more, happy events turn into funerals (such as car accidents). Maybe they have some old relationships with each other, but their fate is short. They came into this world like a passer-by. (4) Non-marital relationship: Non-marital relationship means that there is no formal marriage relationship, which is called' affair' in modern society. This relationship is not guaranteed in today's society, so it will end sooner or later. Why is there such a relationship besides the first house? Perhaps it is because of greed; Maybe they used to be husband and wife, but after reincarnation, they met again in this life, so they finally got together, but now my wife can't stand it and even fights. In the reincarnation of many generations, we may have forged too many personal relationships in all walks of life. There are too many people involved, so there are so many disputes. (5) Little wife and old wife or little husband and old wife: the life of the older party is not much left, so the property is left to the younger party. Maybe they don't love each other deeply. Perhaps the younger party just covets each other's property, mostly based on' utilitarian orientation'. Because it is a' benefit' consideration, not an emotional factor, the fate of the two sides is not deep. (6) Exoticism: Although they are husband and wife, they live in two places all the year round and rarely spend time together. For example, Mr. Wang was transferred to an overseas branch by the company because of his career, and his wife had a career here, so they got together less and left more. Because of separation, although we have feelings for each other, it still belongs to a shallow fate (because there is still the power of separation). (7) Giving birth by belly: In fact, they have no feelings for each other, leaving only children who are deeply attached to their mothers or fathers. In ancient times, in order to continue the incense, children were sometimes born by belly, while in modern society, there was a sperm bank. Their relationship ended when they had children. Men and women who have sex based on a certain purpose will have a common result of a certain purpose in the future, that is, their common cause, because it is not because of love. (8) Accidental meeting: We get together for some reasons, such as traveling together or going on a mission together. We have feelings for each other when we are together, but when the trip or task is over, we will go our separate ways after the career is over. For each other, it's just a beautiful memory, but after all, it's just a chance meeting and it can't last long. Meeting by chance may also lead to deeper karma in the future, because two people have a good impression and will consciously and subconsciously record each other. For example, in the original story of our master Buddha, when he was born as a boy of practice, he formed a "five-stemmed flower" relationship with flower girl in order to support the burning Buddha. Flower girl hopes that the boy can become the boy's wife before he becomes a positive result, and can be transformed by the boy after he becomes a positive result. Finally, the boy agreed to the flower girl's request. There should be more than these kinds of bird's nest. This fate is scattered, and there are many in modern society. Perhaps it is not surprising to look at it with a normal heart. For Buddhists, we should know at least two aspects when we look at this kind of love or marriage: (1) If Buddhists want to practice Bodhisattva, they should cherish and treat each other well, even though their relationship is shallow. (2) Buddhists still need to know that things are impermanent like dreams. 4. Smooth type (1) Career success type: Because of successful career and solid family foundation, the love between the two sides has a bread foundation, which is fairly stable, and there is no shortage of needs in all aspects, and life enjoyment is higher than ordinary people. This may be attributed to its' human blessings'. Career success generally comes from past reports. If the career belongs to two people, they will cherish each other more. (2) Common ideal type: Because they have common ideals in study, they naturally form a family and live smoothly. Pursuing ideals together is also easy to plant the seeds of common memory in the eighth consciousness. If you have a common ideal after many lifetimes and turn to Buddhism, you may also have a common wish! Have common ideals, such as husband and wife, brothers and good friends. (3) Matching families: Both families should reach an agreement on career, personality, family background, education and status, so the relationship is quite smooth and there will be no conflict because of the big gap. If you are right, you can maintain a stable relationship to some extent, and this feeling has been added to the family. (4) Growing together: Because of the same background environment, such as neighbors, childhood friends, studying together, or the same working environment, we have a lot of the same experiences to share, spend the low tide together and grow together. This relationship has stabilized our relationship. Because of common growth, we can face the test of difficulties together. The continuation of this power can be linked in this life, and it may be easy to get together again in the next life. (5) The matchmaker's speaking mode: Through blind date, you can also agree with each other and then form a family. Because they need stability, their relationship is quite smooth. Some love produced by religious means (such as Buddhism, Christianity and Catholicism) can basically be regarded as this type. 5. Group practice type (1) shared will type: the yogi himself has the will to meet and come to the world, or he may have sex with each other, so he also meets and becomes husband and wife. Although they are husband and wife in the world, they are diligent in practice, so their lives are mostly related to religions (whether Buddhism, Christianity, Catholicism, Taoism and other religions), and they share common interests in the world. (2) Common habits: Because the habits and methods of practice are similar, or because they often practice together from generation to generation and are familiar with each other, they also practice and study together in this life. Generally speaking, practice is not successful, on the one hand, it has never lived or died, on the other hand, it is to be popular. This is the best way. (3) Common Karma: Although husband and wife practice together, they must bear the common consequences when they come to the world. Because although he is also practicing, he may make mistakes when he lacks wisdom, so the future world must share the consequences of his mistakes. There is no need to panic in the face of karma. We must face it with one heart and solve it together. Even if we die together, we should accept it frankly. If you don't learn Buddha, Buddha and Bodhisattva will be safe. If you do this, Buddha and Bodhisattva also violate the principle of causality in Buddhism. The above discussion is for reference only. There are thousands of husband and wife Qian Qian in the world, each with its own differences. A layman learning Buddhism is not necessarily a' happy' life, but at least he can' travel in poverty' and stop worrying. Facing different karma, we should have a correct attitude to understand the nature of love and the type of relationship between husband and wife, instead of negative cognition and fate, and think that we should live such a sad life. On the contrary, when facing each other's problems, we should actively seek solutions and be kind to each other. Arguments and quarrels are inevitable. If we can keep a rational attitude, communicate sincerely, understand each other and not hold grudges (in a way, we will hold grudges against others because we have problems. If we can learn compassion and learn others' misunderstandings and satires, we can regard them as' illusory', and we can not hold grudges. The problem will always be solved. Afraid of "subjective identification" and "making things out of nothing", I can't communicate, I can't make sense, I don't admit my mistakes and apologize, I only blame each other for everything, and the problem will probably never be solved. From the perspective of learning Buddhism, practice is for life and death, but who can guarantee that it will be practiced in this life? If you follow the example of Buddha and Bodhisattva, you must also have a desire to return to the world and enter reincarnation. As a layman, the problem of marriage is inevitable (in fact, to be more correct, the layman's practice is karma without coercion. If you become a monk, marriage will no longer be the focus. In the best case, husband and wife practice together, form a Buddhism together, get married in this life, and practice bodhisattva together. Abandoning family and children is not perfect. Some people say,' If you want to practice, you have to become a monk'. Usually these people don't know, or just ask others not to be their own critics. What if there is bad karma? Did you just leave? Do you refuse to associate? My personal point of view is not passive acceptance, but active resolution, calm acceptance and no complaints, because all the original authors are themselves, and they have written their own scripts to perform for themselves in this life. Other roles are invited by themselves in the past, regardless of good or evil, and they are their own works, which have nothing to do with others. Others are equal to their own good and bad, and they are good and bad to others. If you feel wronged, painful and hurt in your life, you should think that others treated you like this in the past. The more you decide to suffer, the more you should be ashamed, the more pious, the more calm you should be, and the more you should be kind to each other. Don't let bad karma become a nightmare in this life. They become bad karma and his wife. A more positive approach is to let the other person know the benefits of learning Buddhism (in terms of personal experience, you need a' good knowledge' that the other person can recognize and believe, so that you can convince the other person, and it is difficult to convince the other person by yourself). It is acceptable to learn Buddhism, although it is somewhat difficult to go further. When karma comes, it will come naturally, and maybe it will be better than yourself! ), the two' pity' each other and support each other on the Bodhisattva Road. When there is bad luck, it is very important to bear the burden of humiliation. What if the other person just doesn't learn Buddhism? Don't worry! Think about yourself at the beginning, didn't you just change from learning Buddhism to learning Buddhism? Therefore, at this time, we should treat each other with a more friendly attitude. Don't rush to ask the other person to learn Buddhism, let alone scold the other person, saying that the other person's karma is heavy (it is an arrogant mentality to call the other person's' not learning Buddhism'). We should use our spiritual achievements to motivate each other, and we can't influence each other if we don't do well. Practice should be affirmed by family members, and only when the other party finds out that what he has done conforms to Buddhism's compassion and gentleness and humiliation will he feel that learning Buddhism is really good (compassion can be done, not just lip service). If the other party really learns Buddhism, it is necessary to maintain the mentality of "helping and encouraging" instead of "laughing and criticizing", otherwise the heart of learning Buddhism will be hot again. I am going to die soon. If, after so much effort, the other party still insists, or is it bullying and abuse? I even think that learning Buddhism should be merciful and wait on me. I didn't study Buddhism, so I can bully you mercilessly. ) If you are' sure' that you have tried your best to be' compassionate and happy' (at least you can pay without regrets), then the old relationship is over (it should always be paid off), but the other party still takes it for granted and doesn't change at all. From my personal point of view, the other party should leave early and don't miss it. People who study Buddhism are courageous people, and they learn compassion and wisdom, not cowardice. If they give up, they will give up. To follow the path of Bodhisattva, we should "give up all sentient beings" instead of "give up marriage". You can help learn Buddhism, but you don't have to be obsessed with marriage.