The lines of the kidnapping series sketch

Zhao Benshan: What are you yelling about? Don't call me a stage name in front of everyone, okay?

Gao Xiumin: The father.

Zhao Benshan: Hey.

Gao Xiumin: If you ask me, don't sell this turn!

Zhao Benshan: Don't say that. I don't sell. It takes work and materials to realize this transformation. I haven't slept for a day and a night. If I don't sell, I won't lose money.

Gao Xiumin: The streets are full of good legs and feet. Who will buy your things?

Zhao Benshan: You don't know my merits yet, and you call me a liar. I can fool you into living a good life with the adulterer and the young couple. I'll lie to him and say goodbye. Today I am a kidnapper, and I can trick him into limping with a pair of good legs!

Gao Xiumin: Haha, you can forget it.

Zhao Benshan: Believe it or not?

Gao Xiumin: I don't believe you can fool a man with good legs?

Zhao Benshan: That's my strong point.

Gao Xiumin: I don't know what your strengths are yet. (to the audience) Our child's father is very interesting. I heard that Wang's accountant bought a motorcycle cover, Si Lengzi bought a motorcycle helmet, Zhang Sansao couldn't sleep, and other families sold sleeping pills. Lao Zhao Sanya was getting married, and even sold pink underwear and flower bras at his door.

Zhao Benshan: Stop it. This is called the market. Pay attention to the advance!

Gao Xiumin: Sometimes you make mistakes in advance!

Zhao Benshan: This turn was a mistake.

Gao Xiumin: I heard that Lao Zhang locked his post. He broke his leg with a wagon and got up early in the morning to make this pair of crutches for others. As a result, they hit it hard and went straight to the wheelchair after discharge. This crutch is not sold, hahaha, hahaha, alas.

Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, I'll kidnap this couple today.

Gao Xiumin: Then the streets are full of legs and feet. Who will buy it?

Zhao Benshan: Honey, let's find a good one and sell it to him today to see my bluff.

Gao Xiumin: Then why don't you lie?

Zhao Benshan: Where there is a will, there is a way, understand? Give me a shout.

Gao Xiumin: I won't fool you, just do it yourself ~

Zhao Benshan: Look at me and blink, will you? Hey, someone is coming, shout.

Gao Xiumin: Ah, a turn. Oh, turn, turn! Turn, turn! Turn around!

Fan Wei: I said, what are you directing? You knew where I was going, so you made me turn.

Zhao Benshan: Shout for sale.

Gao Xiumin: Oh! Sell,

Zhao Benshan: What do you sell?

Gao Xiumin: Turn around.

Zhao Benshan: Connect.

Gao Xiumin: Kidnapped! Kidnapped

Fan Wei: Huh? What's going on here? Who wants to kidnap you?

Gao Xiumin: No, he sells people.

Fan Wei: Are you selling people?

Zhao Benshan: What kind of eyes are you looking at, abduction, so you can sell and you can buy!

Fan Wei: What's wrong with you? This is,

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter? Mind your own business.

Gao Xiumin: We are lovers, and we are playing here!

Zhao Benshan: Hehehe, we are a family. We play here!

Fan Wei: This couple, during the Spring Festival, sold their wives to play ~ ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Kidnapping.

Zhao Benshan: Gee ~ ~ It's dangerous ~ ~ He is very ill ~

Zhao Benshan: Get off. Very serious.

Gao Xiumin: What?

Zhao Benshan: It's too serious.

Fan Wei: What are you talking about?

Zhao Benshan: Hehe, it's none of your business.

Gao Xiumin: What's the matter? Is it serious?

Zhao Benshan: You should tell him. It is dangerous not to tell him about the disease. It's okay. I think there's something wrong here. My wife won't let me talk, and you can't believe it. Go ahead, it's okay. Hehe, it's okay. Let's go

Fan Wei: You are such a nag.

Zhao Benshan: It's too late to find the disease!

Fan Wei: What's wrong with you? Say something nice during the Chinese New Year! What's going on

Zhao Benshan: Relax. See that something is wrong. Well, you don't believe me.

Fan Wei: You must tell me whether I believe it or not. What happened?

Zhao Benshan: Regardless of your illness, I know what you do!

Fan Wei: Ahem, I know what I'm doing. What should I do?

Zhao Benshan: You are the big boss in business.

Fan Wei: What?

Zhao Benshan: That's impossible.

Fan Wei: Nonsense,

Zhao Benshan: You.

Fan Wei: Did Big Boss survive?

Zhao Benshan: Working in a hotel.

Gao Xiumin: How did you know he was in the hotel?

Zhao Benshan: I smell chopped green onion. Is it from the hotel?

Fan Wei: So, what do you think I'm doing in a restaurant?

Zhao Benshan: master chef!

Fan Wei: Hey?

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Gao Xiumin: Gee, how do you know he is a chef?

Zhao Benshan: Big head, thick neck, either rich or a cook! Is it? Is it a chef?

Fan Wei: Wow, OK, OK. Do the math, you guessed it,

Zhao Benshan: Not really?

Fan Wei: Ah, ah, yes, this profession is absolutely correct. So what did you just say about me, saying it was serious and late? What is that?

Zhao Benshan: Can you believe it?

Fan Wei: You must say it before I know whether I believe it or not.

Zhao Benshan: I haven't felt a part of you recently, which is different from before. You think, you think hard, you tell the truth,

Fan Wei: I don't see any difference. I just feel my face is getting bigger and bigger.

Zhao Benshan: By the way, this is not the main symptom! Do you know why your face is big?

Fan Wei: Why?

Zhao Benshan: It's the necrosis of your peripheral nerve that makes it bigger.

Fan Wei: Where are you holding back?

Zhao Benshan: Below the waist, feet up.

Fan Wei: Legs?

Zhao Benshan: Yes!

Fan Wei: No, there is nothing wrong with my leg!

Zhao Benshan: Take two steps! Take two steps! Take two steps without illness! Do you want to see a doctor? Just take two steps to see a doctor!

Fan Wei: OK, two steps, two steps, two steps, two steps.

Zhao Benshan: Stop! What's wrong with your shoes?

Fan Wei: Is there a problem?

Zhao Benshan: One high and one low?

Fan Wei: These are sports shoes!

Zhao Benshan: Yes, your leg is sick and one leg is short!

Fan Wei: There is no such thing! If I want a long leg and a short leg, the pants seller will tell me!

Zhao Benshan: Did the pants seller tell you that you still buy pants, just like my heart?

Fan Wei: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: You know what? Let me adjust it for you. Believe it or not, your legs are as high as my hands. You can raise them as high as you can. When I tell you to fall, you can fall as you want, okay? Believe it or not? Leg designated sick, right leg short! Come on, get up! (Fan Wei cooperates)

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Are you numb?

Fan Wei: I'm numb.

Gao Xiumin: Why is he numb?

Zhao Benshan: Stamping will numb you!

Zhao Benshan: Are you numb? Are you numb?

Fan Wei: I'm numb.

Zhao Benshan: Get up, get up! Don't be empty, the leg 100% is sick, don't be empty, relax! Let's go Go, go, go. Go on, don't stop. Would you like to go with me? Let's leave now. It will get better slowly. You go ahead.

(Fan Wei cooperates)

Fan Wei: Yes, yes, yes. Oh, my God!

Zhao Benshan: You go!

Gao Xiumin: Oh, my good leg is lame!

Fan Wei: What do you mean?

Zhao Benshan: Did you see that? My wife saw it. She said you were suddenly lame.

Fan Wei: Sister, why didn't you find out earlier?

Gao Xiumin: If you don't meet him, you will be lame.

Zhao Benshan: I have already transferred it to you.

Fan Wei: Dude, what's going on? This?

Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, you twisted your leg when you were young.

Fan Wei: No, I twisted this.

Zhao Benshan: It's moving! I moved to this leg, and then your career was very bad for you. So you are not a spoon, but a pier cutter. You always push this leg hard, and it's getting heavier and heavier. The light is tiptoe, the heavy is femoral head necrosis, and the late is vegetative!

Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Zhao Benshan: What the hell?

Gao Xiumin: I said, this is my first time to watch you play, hahaha.

Zhao Benshan: I'm sick!

Fan Wei: Brother, what medicine should I take?

Zhao Benshan: Drugs don't work!

Gao Xiumin: Don't let people take medicine during the Spring Festival. Come on!

Zhao Benshan: Look, my wife knows crutches!

Fan Wei: On crutches?

Zhao Benshan: Please sit down.

Extended data:

The cast of Abduction:

1, Zhao Benshan

Zhao Benshan, 1957, 10 was born in kaiyuan city, Liaoning province on 2 October. He is a comedian, a national first-class actor, a sketch artist, a professor of Errenzhuan in Northeast China, a member of Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, a member of China Quyi Artists Association, a member of all-china youth federation and the chairman of Benshan Media Group.

2016 65438+1on October 25th, Zhao Benshan was elected as the vice chairman of the presidium of the 8th Quyi Artists Association.

1982, Zhao Benshan starred in the pull-out drama Wrestling Three Strings, which became famous at one fell swoop.

1990 first appeared on the stage of CCTV Spring Festival Evening, and 15 won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

1999 The film "The Director and the Director" starring individuals won the 22nd Hundred Flowers Award Best Feature Film Award, and Zhao Benshan won the Best Actor Award.

In 2003, Zhao Benshan initiated the "green duet" and founded the "Liu Laogen Grand Stage" featuring the performance of "green duet".

20 1 1 Last appearance in CCTV Spring Festival Evening, performing "You at the same table".

20 13 Before the Spring Festival Evening in year of the snake, Zhao Benshan announced his withdrawal from the sketch stage.

20 14 served as deputy director and director of language programs of CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

20 16 starred in the new year movie "Happy New Year".

20 17 starred in the rural love comedy "Country Love 10".

2. Gao Xiumin

Gao Xiumin (65438+65438 0959+2800-1805), a native of Fuyu County, Songyuan City, Jilin Province, is a national first-class actor, a sketch and a duet actor.

1974, Gao Xiumin went to a local folk group to sing a duet.

1982, Gao Xiumin joined Fuyu Citizen Art Troupe as an actor, 1986 was awarded the title of national second-class actor. 1992 resigned as an individual actor, began to appear in sketches, and performed on the same stage with Zhao Benshan for many times in the Spring Festival Evening.

200 1 Played the leading role "Lilac" in the TV series "Liu Laogen".

In 2002, in cooperation with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, the essay "Selling Cars" won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening; In the same year, he played lilac in the TV series Liu Laogen 2.

In 2003, in cooperation with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, he won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening with his sketch Heart Disease. In the same year, she played the first lady in the TV series "Kite Romance".

In 2004, in cooperation with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, he won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Gala with the sketch "Water Delivery Man"; In the same year, he played Tao Mu in the TV series "Sailors Club".

At the beginning of 2005, the TV series "Lake Shui Sheng" starring Gao Xiumin and co-produced by He Qingkui and Gao Xiumin was broadcast on CCTV- 1.

3. Fan Wei

Fan Wei, 1962 was born in Shenyang, Liaoning province. He is a comedian and a national first-class actor.

200 1 performed the sketch "Kidnapping" in CCTV Spring Festival Evening and won the first prize in the sketch category.

In 2003, he was awarded the title of "Top Ten Outstanding Young People in Liaoning Province".

In 2006, he won the special performance award (Golden Key Award) at the 30th Cairo International Film Festival for his outstanding performance in the film "Journey to the Fragrance" directed by Jiarui Zhang.

In 2007, he starred in the comedy film "Blessed Ears" and played Wang, and won the Best Actor Award in the 9th Chinese Film Media Awards.

In 2009, he starred in the TV series "The Happiness of the Boss", and then won two awards: the TV Actor Award for the audience's favorite in the 25th China TV Golden Eagle Award and the Most Attractive Actor Award in 16 Shanghai TV Festival.

20 1 1 played Faye Ting in the TV series "Get married first and then fall in love".

20 13 starred in the war comedy "father and son soldiers" and played Qiao richeng.

20 14 starred in the TV series "Bao Xiao and Sigh" and played Zhou Sigh.

20 16, participated in the comedy film "I am not Pan Jinlian" directed by Xiaogang Feng.

2016165438+13 October, the film "No problem" won the best artistic contribution award at the 29th Tokyo International Film Festival. 165438+1On October 26th, he won the Best Actor in the 53rd Taiwan Film Golden Horse Award and the Best Actor in the 7th Beijing International Film Festival for his outstanding performance in the film No Problem.

On July 20 17, the film "peerless master" starring Guo Caijie was released nationwide on July 20 17; In the same month, the film "Father and Son Soldiers" starring Dapeng was released in July 20 17, and was released nationwide in July 2 1 2008.