What's the difference between engagement and marriage?

Different customs in different places have different engagement processes. The following is for your reference;

Overview of engagement custom

Engagement, also called "Wen Ding", used to be called "Naji" and "Zheng Na". Although engagement is not as complicated as marriage, traditional customs still attach great importance to it. Both men and women need to prepare some gifts. The process is as follows:

The groom is getting married on the way!

The groom finishes the family sacrifice at home first, and then goes to the woman's house by car with the matchmaker to get married. Get off the bus and enter the door, and the red envelope will not run away!

(1) Gong Guan: commonly known as "Mr. Boxer", responsible for the appointment of gift-giving companies. Tribute officials must control the number of people (even number), vehicles (six or twelve vehicles), engagement money (even number and properly wrapped in red paper) and six gifts.

(2) Family Sacrifice: Before leaving for the woman's home, the man will hold an ancestor worship ceremony at home. At this time, he will give his ancestors a "box cake" or a big cake for harvesting. He will go to a virgin's home to take a job and ask his ancestors to bless this marriage.

(3) Departure: After the family sacrifice, the tribute officer is responsible for loading all the bride price on the car, and the groom and the matchmaker go to the woman's house together.

(4) Red envelopes: Before departure, Gong Li Palace should not only take care of the number of people, cars and bride price, but also remind the groom to prepare more red envelopes. For example, the uncle who came to open the groom's car door, the "pressing table" and the six accompanying relatives all need to prepare the bride's ceremony, the bride's new friend who washed the water and the gift of the matchmaker.

How to hire after a lifetime reservation?

You've always heard of "Marry a good husband after a full meal"! Therefore, sweet cakes should be included in the six gifts.

Besides, why prepare four-color sugar? It symbolizes the sweetness of newlyweds and the meaning of growing old together.

The bride price represents not only the man's gratitude to the woman's parents, but also the man's face. Therefore, most of them are willing to get a glamorous and decent appearance, and each dowry also contains the symbolic meaning of seeking good luck and increasing perfection.

Bridal gifts are usually divided into six simple gifts or twelve exquisite gifts. The amount of bride price is arranged according to personal budget. At the same time, we might as well ask the matchmaker for the advice of the woman's parents to achieve the best of both worlds.

Marriage between men and women officially appeared.

Bang bang! Firecrackers sounded and the married man arrived! On that day, ancestors should be worshipped, tea should be served, and rings holding hands with each other should be worn until they are old.

After the gift, how does the woman return the gift?

China people always pay attention to "reciprocity". After the man gives a big gift, the woman should also prepare a gift in return, but she can't let the man go home empty-handed.

Han nationality-marriage customs

In the past, most of the marriages of young Han people were arranged by their parents. Most of them got engaged when they were very young, and some even called their bellies marriage, that is, their parents established a marriage relationship for their children before they were born.

No marriage with the same surname: that is, men and women with the same surname do not marry each other, which began in the early Western Zhou Dynasty and was a rule left over from the Zhou people's practice of intermarriage. In the Spring and Autumn Period, people further realized that intermarriage with the same surname would cause abnormal infertility of offspring, but intermarriage with the same surname still occurred from time to time among nobles. After the Warring States Period, the surname Shi, regardless of the surname after the Han Dynasty, is often unavoidable. In the Tang Dynasty, intermarriage with the same surname followed the ancient system and was prohibited. There was a Tang law in the Song and Yuan Dynasties, and the same surname was reserved for marriage. The Ming and Qing dynasties had a large territory and a large population, and it was already a society based on region, replacing the clan based on blood. Therefore, the Ming law regulations and the Qing law regulations are divided into two parts: the same surname and the same clan. On the surface, it is forbidden for two people to get married. In fact, people with the same surname and different clans can get married. Calligraphy in the late Qing Dynasty merged unmarried relatives with unmarried surnames, and only intermarriage within the same clan was prohibited.

Please ask the matchmaker to propose marriage at the woman's house before engagement. When engaged, the man gives the woman some property as a "gift", and when married, the woman also brings a lot of property to the man's family, which is called "dowry".

On the wedding day, the groom will get on the limousine or sedan chair and go to the woman's house to "greet the bride". There is a band in front of a limousine or sedan chair. After the bride is welcomed into the man's house, she should worship heaven and earth and her parents. After the ceremony, the newlyweds entered the bridal chamber. At this time, the man gave a banquet to entertain relatives and friends who came to congratulate him. Some places also have the habit of making trouble in the bridal chamber and listening to the wall.

Check date: marriage customs of Han nationality. Also known as the reporting date. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. Talking about marriage in rural areas: a step towards marriage. When young men and women get to know each other, tell their parents and ask the media to communicate. The man gives the bride a bride price and then sets a wedding date.

In the past, fortune tellers always ranked the "eight characters" first, and the fate was consistent. In some places, parents meet to get engaged. For example, in quanzhou county, after the two sides agreed, the matchmaker sent wine, meat and cloth to the woman on behalf of the man, and accompanied his parents and uncles to meet at the man's house on the agreed date, and the man gave a banquet. The young man poured wine in a pot, first to the woman's uncle and then to his uncle, and then toasted in turn. The two sides agreed on the wedding date and the engagement was completed. Later, men and women gave the woman heavy gifts and bride price, the woman prepared dowry, the man prepared furniture, and the wedding was held as scheduled. If the woman urges marriage, she will make a pair of glutinous rice cakes (commonly known as "reunion cakes") and send them to the man's house. The man got the message, treated him warmly and invited his neighbors to go with him. Generally speaking, it is respected for the woman to take the initiative to advance the wedding date.

He Lang Song: The marriage custom of Han nationality popular in Xing 'an area of northeast Guangxi. After visiting the church and the dinner party, relatives and friends gathered around the groom in the main hall and sang songs to congratulate him. Impromptu congratulations, but also joking and humorous words. Friends and relatives sing a song and the groom drinks a glass of wine. Sing till midnight and send the groom into the bridal chamber. The female singer waited behind closed doors, and the men and women sang "Open the Door Song" in pairs before opening the door. Singing noisily after entering the door, from "a toast to the groom" to "ten cups", the groom drinks from 1 to 10 cups in turn (male singers can drink instead of winners). Then sing "Sex Wine" and the couple have a drink together. Finally, the singer closed the door and sang the song of closing the door to end the wedding.

Sitting in the Red Hall: The marriage custom of the Han nationality is popular in quanzhou county, northeast Guangxi. Young men and women worship their ancestors in their own homes and receive instructions from their elders on the eve of marriage. The bride wears red ornaments and is accompanied by her classmates. She sat in the main room, singing "Weeping Wedding Song" softly, remembering her parents' kindness and expressing sisterhood. Sisters told the bride to be filial to the elderly and live in harmony with her brothers and sisters, and praised the groom for his handsome and hardworking. When the bride expresses her unhappy thoughts, the sisters comfort her in many ways. Singing late into the night, Yiyi said goodbye and presented gifts. The groom is also accompanied by his classmates sitting in his main hall, and is taught by his elders to be thrifty and keep the house and obey the rules. After the teaching, the old man retired, and the boys joked and chased the groom, and the joy didn't end until late at night.

Seeking the Key: The marriage custom of Han nationality is popular in quanzhou county, northeast Guangxi. The bride's wedding key is in the hands of any of her siblings or nephews. Before meeting the bride, the groom sends a package to the bride-to-be and asks for the key, so that after meeting the bride, he can open the box and show Gu Mi's money, symbolizing a bumper harvest after marriage and a rich family. There were too few relatives to see me off, and the groom added many times. Farewell Lang took the parcel, and the groom got the key and went to see the bride happily.

Housekeeping: one of the marriage customs of Han nationality, is an important procedure of rural marriage negotiation. Also called housekeeping rounds. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. At that time, accompanied by more than 10 relatives and friends, the woman and two girls called "accompanying aunts" went to that house (some women didn't go). The man gave a banquet to entertain. The matchmaker introduced the two parties to get married. When the woman's relatives and friends ask for gifts, the man will generally promise to give the guests "money" at that time. The next day, the two sides negotiated through the matchmaker. In some places, it is also allowed to enter the inner room of the man who is proposing marriage to check the real situation and then propose marriage through the matchmaker.

Stealing relatives in the dark room: the marriage custom of the Han nationality is popular in the county of Guidong. In the downtown mountainous area, after the bride cried and got married for two days and two nights, she hid in a dark room with her girlfriends early in the morning on the day of crossing the door. After the men and women arrived, the bride's brother (or cousin) and the young men in the pro-prestige broke into the house. The female companion threw sand and waved bamboo branches to resist. The robber tried to drag his girlfriend out of the door to eliminate interference. If you defeat two robbers, it will increase to four people even 10 or more until the bride is forced out. Then two (or four) women in the man's wedding team take turns to carry the bride to Lang's house. In the competition of stealing marriage, the man wiped the cigarette and ink for the woman, and the woman tore the man's clothes, which turned the legacy of ancient stealing marriage into a farce for young men and women.

Courtesy: Marriage customs of Han nationality are popular in most counties and towns in Guangxi. An important procedure in the wedding. Usually, the groom's uncle will light a pair of wedding candles on the altar and say some blessing words to express congratulations and prayers. For example, in the county of Guidong, colorful words are often used: "The dragon lantern shines alone, the flower hall shines high, the husband and wife live together, and the luck is in pairs", "Holding a bonus in hand, congratulations on the nephew's marriage to the bride, and the husband and wife and Tian Ming live a long life, and the husband and wife are harmonious for a hundred years." After the speech, the bride and groom worship the heavens and the earth and their ancestors and get married.

Huimen: the marriage custom of ancient Han nationality. That is, on the third, sixth, seventh, ninth, tenth or full moon after marriage, the son-in-law goes back with the bride to pay homage to the scorpion's wife, son's parents and relatives. The ceremony of becoming a husband from kissing is now complete. This custom originated in ancient times and is generally called "mothering in the province", which means going home to visit parents after marriage. Later generations have different names, such as "Hundred Doors" in Song Dynasty, "Two-way Doors" in North China in Qing Dynasty, "Huijia" in South China, "Jiaoshu" in parts of Hebei Province and "Huilang" in Hangzhou. On the third day after marriage, modern Bao Tong was also called "the meeting gate of three dynasties". This is the last ceremony of the wedding. Daughters will never forget the kindness of their parents. The son-in-law thanked her parents-in-law and newlyweds for their love and beauty. Generally, the woman hosts a banquet, and the new son-in-law is seated, accompanied by the female elders. The newlyweds either return on the same day or stay for a few days. If they stay, they won't live in the same room.