I want to tell my fortune. Very funny _ I want to tell my fortune and talk about my circle of friends.

If you are always disappointed, you should reflect on why you have such great hope.

What's wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting.

3. Compare your grades when you were a child. Compare wages when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!

4. Some people are just not satisfied. They already have double chins and want double eyelids.

5. Why do beautiful girls have money to spend? The great god replied: because the beautiful girl saved retouching. Time is money!

I got paid a few days ago. On the way to work, I saw a poor beggar and gave him a few dollars. I went to the bank to deposit money after dinner, and I met him again. He saved 5 thousand and I saved 1 thousand.

If you think you are as tired as a dog all day, you really misunderstand. Dogs are not as tired as you.

Don't ask me for money. We are all of the same age. If you have no money, can you give it to me?

9. I asked my mother: I fell off you. Why don't you sympathize with me at all? Mom said: shit still fell from you. Why don't you feel bad?

10. I can't find a girlfriend, so I have to tell my fortune. Fortune teller: Your first half life is doomed to be unattractive. My eyes lit up: what about the second half? Fortune teller: I'll get used to it for the rest of my life.

Eleven. Selling cute things should also be divided into people. Only those who are good-looking can sell cute, and those who are ugly can only be called playing the fool.

Twelve. My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

Thirteen. The girl I just met is very understanding. Today, I said I would give her a bag as a birthday present. She said, no, save it.

Fourteen. When I was a child, I always stole money from my family. Every time I don't spend it first, I hide it, because I want to see if I can resist the fight first.

15. There are too many liars these days. True story! When I was on the subway, a sister came up to me and asked me for my phone number, saying that I was very similar to her ex-boyfriend. Don't lie, how can she fall in love with Daniel Wu just because of her appearance!

15. My roommate used my washing powder without my permission. This kind of person is really boring. He promised to help me wash clothes, so he couldn't buy his own washing powder?

17. Some things that happen to others are stories, and those that happen to themselves are accidents.

18. I wanted to fart during the meeting, but I was afraid of being heard. I deliberately dragged the chair and made a noise. I accidentally fell and farted. Then I heard someone behind me say: awesome, fart and blow yourself up!

19. Why does grandma like her granddaughter-in-law, but she doesn't like her daughter-in-law, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend!

Falling in love with an immature man is like raising a son. You taught him how to love someone. Finally, you will find that you have a daughter-in-law.

Twenty one. I always don't return messages to the goddess. When my buddy heard about it, he said to let him come. Then send a message to the goddess: You are one of the three beauties in the school, but I only like you. In less than 30 seconds, the goddess replied: Who are the other two? Why do you only like me?

22. People's minds will change: they used to want to get rich, but now they are more practical and just want to get rid of poverty.

Twenty-three Young people can't touch three things: idolization, mahjong and the glory of the king. The more you touch them, the more interesting it is to be alone.

Twenty-four In love, you should let your boyfriend cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and make money everywhere. Girls should work harder, eat, drink and be merry, and buy in buy buy.