What about sketch time? Script.

Where is the time? Full version of the script:

B: It's been a while.

A: Yes. You lost one person at the class reunion the other day. Where have you been?

I am very busy at home. Is everyone okay?

A: Well, everyone is better than me. Onion became the sales director, Rubber Bug became the department manager, Garfield became the financial director, Xiao Taohua started her own business and worked as a hook fish after studying abroad. The regional president of Toulouse was better than me. I heard that raising sea cucumbers has just dug up the first bucket of gold. In short, everyone has a home, a business, a house and a car. As far as I'm concerned, I'm standing still and I haven't made any progress.

B: Envy, jealousy and hate.

Yes, my eyes are red with jealousy. You said that all my classmates were at the same starting line, all graduated from universities, all came from grass roots, and all were in their early thirties. Why am I so much worse than others? What have I done? Where has all my time gone?

B: What time is it? Where did you say you went? Think for yourself.

Where has all my time gone? I really can't remember at the moment.

B: Why don't you take the space shuttle and fly back to your childhood to see where your time has gone?

A: I don't need to think when I was a child. Right in front of my eyes. In primary school, I studied hard and made progress every day, but my grades were not so good. I look ahead at the exam rankings and look back at me.

B: What about the future?

A: Middle school is the time when the four kings became popular. I'm not bragging to you. I know exactly what color Jacky Cheung was born in Aaron Kwok, what Andy Lau likes to eat, and how many girlfriends Cristiano Ronaldo has. It's absolutely not difficult for me. It is no exaggeration to say that I can dance every dance in Aaron Kwok, sing every song in Jacky Cheung and watch every movie in Andy Lau, not to mention Ronaldo, jerseys, boots, pictorial, posters and magazines.

Just a real groupie.

A: I am also a fan of Jacky Cheung in my class. One of my classmates refused to fight with me. I'm a rooster, and ten judges put down eight.

B: Aren't there two more?

Those two vomited before they got to the bathroom!

B: as for it?

A: As the students said, I have seen many people sing out of tune, but it is the first time that one mouth can sing 18 keys. At first glance, it is impossible for him to go dancing instead. I sing more songs than he dances. As a result, there was no draw in 200 rounds. After that, my classmates called me 200 songs and told him 200 dances.

I spent three years on it in middle school.

A: I was addicted to the martial arts world in high school and wanted to be a hero who helped the weak and helped the poor. It is no exaggeration to say that every novel of Jin Yong can recite it backwards. My deskmate likes Qiong Yao. Practice hard with a novel after class every day, and get a lovely girl a few years later. Just three words a day with me: you are good or bad. You are really good or bad. You are really, really good or not.

Typical Qiong Yao style.

She used to make me very angry. I said, you are boring, and you hate being unreasonable! She said you wouldn't talk nonsense, hate and make trouble without reason? I said, where am I bored, where am I bored, and where am I unreasonable? She says you are not boring, annoying and unreasonable.

Come on, have a rest. My brain is about to explode.

A: I can't hold it any longer. I'll slap you again. She said you fight, you fight, you fight. Why didn't you call? I said, do you believe it? I will kill you with a broken plum hand in Tianshan Mountain.

I killed you with the eighteen palms of the dragon, killed you with a dog stick, and scared you to death with the move of Gankun. I surprised you with a slight step. I killed you with the star-sucking solution, stabbed you with the nine swords of Dugu, killed you with Yang Yi, killed you with the orchid finger, and chopped you with both hands, which really made her cry with gestures. I can't help it I must apologize and compensate.

B: Compensation for ceded land?

A: The 38th parallel was invaded before my territory was demarcated, and I was crammed into a small space to practice hard every day. We'll see. One day, I will be the owner of my website and the trader of my life. Finally, I waited for a proud day.

Oh?

A: Going to college can make up for it. First of all, I must give myself the courage to do what I want or don't want to do.

B: Make a bold breakthrough. What is this?

A: Let's talk openly about a love affair.

No one has to do it in secret.

How dare you not go to college? Teachers must nip them in the bud.

B: That's right.

What am I looking for? The history department is intrigued, the art department takes part in accidental amusement, the foreign languages department is not bright enough, and the chemistry department is careless. I'll shoot them all.

B: Are there no other departments?

A: that won't do either. You said that the whole math department would become a fool sooner or later every day; The economics department is not good either. I don't want to squeeze every penny out of me. The performance department is unreliable. I don't know whether to live or act. The sports department is more cautious. Be careful to hand-to-hand combat with you.

B: Which one do you prefer?

Potatoes like you will do. It looks strong, but its heart is heavy. Don't have nightmares at night.

B: Fuck you. How else can you find it?

A: It's easy to find. I want a wolf pack tactic. Sent a text message to every girl in school.

B: No matter who you are, I won't reply to mass emails.

A: So someone really took the bait. A girl with glasses named Mimi became my prey.

B: what happened afterwards?

Well, forget it. Soon after we talked, I bought her chocolate and a trench coat from the Internet. At first glance, it was very hot, but when I put on my trench coat and took out my pocket, it was broken!

B: What's the matter?

A: There is also a love letter in it. Mimi was overjoyed and couldn't help chanting: the grass by the green river loves you till you get old. Wildfire won't devour them, and tomorrow will be better. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the pier, I am the boat, you are the sun, I am around you, and you are the only happiness. Give me the whole world, and you are my NO 1! Dedicated to my dear sandy. The donkey's lips are wrong!

B: tell me it's well written. Oh, no, isn't the name of the glasses girl honey?

A: Don't you understand? The seller sent the love letter in a windbreaker.

B: explain it to others quickly.

A: I wanted to amuse her with chocolate, but when I opened it, the whole box was broken into slag. Mimi slapped me in the face and made me see stars.

Last time I bought a condom in that bag for my mother, I didn't care about it with you, but now I'm playing two-faced! I've been looking for an aircraft carrier since I was a child! I want to make a quick decision and get married before Singles Day! Well, lifelong happiness has hit.

I guess your heart is broken. It looks like dumpling stuffing.

A: I have been in a bad mood all day: eating fried noodles, eating rice, drinking beer and fingernails, getting on the bus card and dropping it in the slot, getting off the bus and scratching my head. When I was crossing the street, I almost ran into a fly and my hand was slapped by a nail. My mobile phone fell off the toilet and I couldn't get it out to buy stocks, so I missed the position.

B: There's no need to be so decadent. There are many fish in the sea.

A: It's not over yet. When I got home, I took out my pocket and found that I had lost my key. Looking around the whole community, there happened to be a couple on the roadside. The man shouted, Whose is it? Whose is it? I thought this was the key. Say it's mine! Later, I learned that the woman was pregnant!

B: this is a big problem!

A: The man came up with a combination boxing. When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital.

Poor thing. I really became the dry lung of the donkey.

A: Because of this, I stopped dating for four years and had to eat to kill time. I wanted to eat my sadness in one bite, but I didn't want to become a fat man. When people look for jobs after graduation, I am busy losing weight. Almost a month's pocket money, half for eating and half for losing weight.

B: It's time to lose weight.

A: Because of this, I practice yoga for four hours every day, and everyone I meet thinks I am abnormal. This doesn't count. I quit all staple foods and snacks. I once ate 7 Jin of persimmons in one breath, and I was poisoned after eating.

B: Is it reduced?

A: You think it's so easy. I don't want to go out to meet people anyway. People think I have a big swimming pool. Simply QQ with the beautiful cat at home and buy lottery tickets to speculate in stocks.

B: How much do you pay for winning the lottery at most once?

A: Three thousand.

Not bad.

A: It has already cost 20,000 yuan.

B: How about buying stocks?

A: You're welcome. At first, the whole line was red, but after going in, it was terrible green.

B: The China Securities Regulatory Commission has long advised investors that stocks are risky and they should be cautious when entering the market.

A: it's too easy to find a job It's boring if the salary is not much, so we can only play games to kill time.

B: You can learn something else in your spare time. Don't worry about more skills.

What do you study? I am busy growing vegetables here every day.

B: addicted to growing vegetables?

I can't be idle at midnight. I get up every day to steal food. As a result, I was listless during the day and dreamy at night. I have deducted bonuses several times before, and I was fired for falling asleep in a meeting.

B: it's time for you to reflect.

What are you thinking about? You say this boss is too heartless. Why am I fired?

B: Stealing vegetables.

A: Wrong. Why don't you get up in the middle of the night to help the boss collect vegetables? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and I decide to settle accounts with my boss. As a result, I accidentally rode my bike into the sewer.

There was an accident?

A: it's also bad luck to be hospitalized. Respond to your thoughts.

B: Isn't that great?

It's good. What? I hoped someone would hurt me, but the nurse took off the bandage and changed the medicine. It hurts. I wish I could make a phone call. A buddy gave me a cell phone balloon, and I blew it up.

B: All right, all right, it's just a few setbacks and it's over.

A: It's really going to be fine. From then on I got what I wanted, and I came with what I wanted.

Really?

A: I want to count a lot of money every day It really works. I went to the bank.

Do it well.

I stayed in the bank for a while. I hope to open a bank. It really worked: the manager gave me the key to the gate. I hope someone can help me, but it really works. I was pushed from behind when I inexplicably went down the stairs.

B: In the hospital again? You are really unlucky.

A: During this period, I began to reflect on myself: Why on earth have I been doing nothing for so many years? Where has all my time gone? Where did I spend my time?

B: That's right. You should have reflected on yourself and summarized it.

I think the future is bright, but I can't find a way out.

B: Tell me about you. Don't aim too high, plan what to do next.

A: Yes, I can't fish for three days and dry the net for two days. I can't shoot another gun for another person. I decided to do a big job, starting with stinky tofu, which I am good at. So I set up a stall to make stinky tofu. I'm not bragging to you. My stinky tofu is a secret recipe handed down from generation to generation, and it will never be leaked. Do you know how my dad took down my mom? Speaking of which, my mother was a little lost, didn't control her mouth, and just put this flower in cow dung!

B: To put it bluntly, your father took the top secret weapon of housekeeping skills, and your mother was captured.

My father used it to win my mother's heart. Now this unique skill has been passed on to me.

B: You want shine on you to be better than Blue, and carry this matter forward.

A: I have made great efforts to develop more than 50 series with complete varieties and diverse designs. Before long, the stall owner became the CEO and executive director of stinky tofu.

There is a market for this kind of thing. Beauty and beauty will strengthen the spleen and stimulate appetite, and you will be like President Tan-25 years old forever.

A: Yes, since my mother tasted my stinky tofu, she has been full of energy every day, laughing all the time, striding during the day and singing out of tune at night without yelling. The key is that the two front teeth who are about to retire are now on duty.

B: At this rate, it won't be long before your stinky tofu can take root in Tianjin, become famous in North China and go global.

A: I wanted to recruit more employees, but I didn't want the neighborhood Committee to come to me.

B: What's the matter?

A: I was told that my smell was too strong, which affected the lives of residents. I was asked to withdraw my stall and work in the neighborhood Committee for compensation.

B: That's all right.

What can I do? What do you think I mean by fooling around with a group of old women? Besides, the job is not to check the household registration today and empty the wastebasket tomorrow, and to catch dogs in the street the day after tomorrow without helping people find objects; Either inform a household to change an electric meter, or publicize anti-theft and anti-theft; No more work reports, no more leading a group of old ladies to jump up and down on stilts. I can't make stinky tofu. I will do something else.

B: Why?

A: Finally, I made up my mind to find a job where I can get paid without doing anything.

B: Beggar.

A: Divination?

B: is it accurate?

A: This is accurate. You don't believe that I used to use astrology to predict marriage for big guys, but now it works, right?

Who did you give it to?

A: Xu Xianbai Niangzi. I told you they would succeed. What did you say?/Sorry? Married.

B: Why?

A: Pisces and Cancer are naturally suitable for eating seafood. Besides, Rantsech and He Xiangu are engaged.

B: What's the reason?

A: One Taurus, one Aries and one beast.

B: What?

A: One day, I asked someone to do a divination for myself. That man said I was powerless and widowed before I was forty.

B: Just a change of luck?

A: Just get used to it. Do you think this will hurt? You can't squeeze each other like this. Isn't this sweeping my face?

B: All right, all right, forget it. I'll tell you they didn't hurt you at all. I see. Where is the time? Spend it where it belongs. Where did your time go? Let yourself be so wasted.

A: Isn't it a popular microfilm now? I've made these years' experience into a short film, so that everyone can learn from me and don't waste any more time. I've already thought of the name, so let's call it the place where we go all the time.