Humorous bedtime jokes

Most jokes reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. I collected some humorous bedtime jokes. Welcome to reading.

1. My husband gave his wife a skirt, and the wife kissed her husband's face happily and said, Dear, why did you give me a skirt? Husband: I saw a MM wearing this skirt, so I bought you one.

2. My wife roared after hearing this: Good, you actually look at other beautiful women! Disturbing the world of mortals, being concerned is a blessing; It is a kind of pride to get to know each other in the vast sea of people. Friend, I know you best: I don't wake up during the day to avoid aging, and I don't sleep at night to prolong my life. I wish you health, longevity and happiness!

3. A beautiful woman stopped to count her marriage when she passed a person who looked at her face. Beauty: I want to ask when I can meet my other half. Fortune teller: Do you want it or not? Beauty: Of course it's on time. Fortune teller: Come back after removing makeup.

4. Playing erhu at home and hearing someone knocking at the door. I think it might be noisy. I opened the door and it was a young man. I felt guilty and wanted to apologize, but the young man said, big brother, I'm new upstairs and I haven't decorated yet. Listen to your home decoration. Come and have a look.

A young mother went to the hospital with her daughter in her arms. The daughter said innocently, Mom, what are we doing here? Mom: an injection. Daughter: Why the injection? Did the needle do something wrong? Doesn't the injection hurt? Five minutes later, my daughter began to growl: this is a needle hitting me, this is a needle hitting me!

6. A female colleague, 140 kg, dances square dance with aunts every night. Yesterday, I was dragged to see. Then someone asked me how I danced. I said, "I think you dance like a little swan ... brand drum washing machine."

7. It is best for children not to make humorous jokes casually before going to bed. Heading is easy to hurt the brain, spanking is easy to hurt the nerves, slapping the face is easy to hurt self-esteem, and slapping your hands and feet is easy to hurt yourself. So try not to call. If you must hit your child and don't want to worry about these problems before, there is only one trick: hit someone else's child!

8. The final exam is coming, and the teacher helps the students to give key hints in class. The teacher said, "This question is very important. Draw stars in front. " Xiaohong said, "Teacher, can you use the box? Orangutans are too difficult to draw. "

9. One of my buddies got drunk and forced us to sing K. He also said that whoever didn't go was in a hurry, so we couldn't help him get on the bus and went straight to his house. He lied to him that he was going to KTV. When he got to his house, his wife opened the door ... He smiled and said to us with his wife in his arms: This young lady is quite beautiful, a bit like my wife! His wife's face suddenly changed, only to see that we didn't have an attack, and she went back to her room to sleep. The guy asked us to sit in the living room, asked us to order songs, and then told us that he had gone to the bathroom. Less than a minute into the toilet, his phone rang. His wife came out to answer the phone, but she fell after not listening for half a minute. Then the man came out of the toilet and shouted happily to us: Brothers, have fun tonight. I have called home and said I won't come back after working overtime tonight. ...

10, one day I chatted with some brothers and talked about private money. They all complain that they will be found anyway. At this time, an uncle stood up and said: My private money is in the bank. They asked again: where should I put the passbook? Uncle: Burn it and make it up when necessary. 18. Yesterday, I asked a friend who was trading stocks: The stock market plummeted recently. How did you sleep? He said: Sleep like a baby. I said: you are a master! I can sleep here! He was silent for a long time and said, I often wake up in the middle of the night and cry for a while before going to sleep.

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