Marriage Customs in Yanggu, Shandong Province

Marriage Customs Before the founding of the People's Republic of China, men and women got married on the basis of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", and paid attention to "being suitable for each other". Normal marriage customs generally go through procedures such as media, engagement, invitations, congratulations, wedding reception and residence period. Intermediary men are fifteen or sixteen or even thirteen years old, that is, parents seek relatives through the media, and some get engaged when their children are old, commonly known as "early marriage." If a woman hires a matchmaker to propose to her husband, it is called "matchmaking". If a woman makes high demands on her husband, it is called "climbing relatives". After asking about each other's age, personality, family property, etc., both parents think it is basically ok, that is, they will be "allowed to get married". When marriage is agreed, the man must agree first, and then the woman agrees. With the consent of both parties, the matchmaker will be entrusted to change the "Xiao Qi" (commonly known as changing the fine print) and indicate the year and date of birth. The center people of both sides (mostly fortune tellers) are "eight characters", and they can get married without a prescription or a prescription they don't like. Then choose another auspicious day to exchange formal engagement, which is called "great instrument" Some people go to the man's house to see it in person. This is called "blind date". If you don't get along, don't eat at the man's house and leave. The marriage age of men and women is much more expensive than that of women, commonly known as "female freshman, wearing golden clothes", "female junior, holding golden bricks" and "female fifth, fighting for old mother". Engagement is often referred to as "passing the message to Cambodia" or "changing the message". The man writes a Cambodian message (that is, an engagement letter) and sends it to the woman's home together with the bride price. The woman's reply is used as the basis for engagement. After the exchange in Cambodia, relatives and friends sent gifts and money to congratulate, and the man prepared a banquet to thank the matchmaker and relatives and friends. Sending wedding invitations is also called "sending wedding invitations". When men and women reach the age of marriage (generally, women 18 years old or older, boys 12, 20 years old, and the oldest is in their twenties), the man asks someone to choose an auspicious day (commonly known as "choosing a day" or "seeing a day") according to the woman's life, and informs her of the auspicious day. If the woman agrees, choose an auspicious day and formally send her a wedding invitation. The post indicates the wedding date, the bride's crown, registered permanent residence, face shape, dress, the direction of getting on and off the sedan chair and taboos. According to their own economic conditions, the woman's family buys bedding, clothes, jewelry, furniture, etc. to prepare for marriage. Before the wedding, the leaders of the man's relatives and friends prepared gifts to congratulate him and said "Congratulations". Sending a wedding present to a woman who is going to get married is called "filling a box" or "adding a box". The man prepared a banquet to celebrate the day before his wedding. The wedding ceremony is commonly known as "happy event". The day before the wedding, the woman will send the dowry to the man's house. The man put up the wedding invitation, hung up the jubilation, laid the kang and padded the pillow to prepare for the wedding. In the evening, the groom "salutes" relatives and elders nearby. On the wedding day, according to the agreed time, the man arranged the ritual ceremony, played the drummer, and got married in the woman's house with a sedan chair (used by the poor). Marriage can be divided into "big marriage" and "small marriage". Sedan is a small wedding, that is, preparing a sedan chair to carry the bride, which is called "not getting married"; There are two sedan chairs for the wedding. The groom takes the official sedan chair to meet the bride, and the other sedan chair is for the bride. When she went, she was carried by young children, commonly known as "sedan chair"; There was also a red rooster in the car. When she came back, the woman ran over a hen. Whether it is a big marriage or a small marriage, its customs are roughly the same. After marrying a woman, she began to eat less and drink less, and sat on the kang to be married. When a man goes to a woman's house to pay a New Year call, he must bring a red coat, a red carpet and a red headscarf. On that day, the bride got up early to dress up, covered her head with red and played the trumpet happily. Accompanied by the farewell female guests, the groom said goodbye to his parents-in-law, and then the groom got on the sedan chair first. The bride is carried on the sedan chair by relatives, commonly known as "sending the sedan chair" and "getting on the sedan chair", and the guests are accompanied by the car. The bride will shed tears when she leaves home to show her attachment. On the road, red gauze lanterns cleared the way, flutes suona played in unison, sedan chairs crowded in front, and sedan chairs were collected. The groom is not allowed to contact with the outside world. If passers-by meet, they will avoid. Come to the head and door of Nanjia village, firecrackers are ringing, and get off the sedan chair at the specified time and direction. That is, someone lit a bundle of grass around the bride's sedan chair, which was called "Liao sedan chair". It is said that this move is to drive away evil spirits and ominous. In the drums and firecrackers, the bride enters the gate by the married woman and the dowry girl, steps on the red carpet (called inverted carpet), stands side by side with the groom in front of the incense table in the courtyard, and worships heaven and earth. After the ceremony, the bride enters the bridal chamber. In some places, when entering the bridal chamber, the male elders sprinkle dates, chestnuts and peanuts in the yard (some places sew them in the corner of the quilt or put them in pillows), and also take the homonym of "premature birth" and "male and female peanuts". When the bridal chamber is ablaze with flowers and candles, the groom removes the bride's veil, eats "noodles of sympathy" and drinks "toast" together, and fills the pillow as usual, the bride begins to "sit on the bed", also called "sit on the bed", which usually lasts for one day. On this day, people, big or small, were making a scene in the bridal chamber until late at night. After the newlyweds sleep, there is an old custom of "listening to the room" (listening to whispers) under the window of young men and women. On the wedding day, the man decorated with lanterns, pasted red couplets, slaughtered pigs and sheep, and hosted a banquet for relatives and friends. China also has the custom of robbing marriage. That is, if there are more than one married person in the same village at the same time, it is considered that whoever takes the lead will be lucky. So the time to get married is mostly before dawn. On the third day after marriage, the bride went back to her parents' home for two days and said "live in Japan", or asked her daughter to ask her son-in-law at her daughter's house. Both the bride and groom go to their mother-in-law's house together, which is called "returning home" or "recognizing relatives" (commonly known as "walking for three days"). The woman's family hosted a banquet for her son-in-law, commonly known as "inviting her son-in-law". When she comes back three days later, the bride meets her in-laws and relatives, goes to the ancestral temple to worship or go to the ancestral temple, and then cooks in the kitchen. On the sixth day, the man's family hosted a banquet to "meet his in-laws" and at the same time hosted a banquet to entertain close relatives and friends. At the same time, there is the custom of "living opposite the moon", that is, one month after the wedding, the bride's family will take her back for a few days and then send her back to her husband's family. This custom still exists today. At this point, the whole wedding procedure is over.