Jokes that happen when you mispronounce Chinese characters are best related to daily life. Urgent! ! ! ! !

A student loves to write typos and always writes rest as drinking.

In his diary, he wrote, "The squad leader instructed us to carry shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to take a sip." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back. "

Tianye Tea House (11)-What a typo joke

Text/buttonwood leaf Cui

There are also many jokes caused by typos in life. Here are two real joke stories that happened around me.

( 1)

There is a deputy secretary in our bureau. A winter training class taught us Mao Zedong's "change our study". Before reading, his old gentleman said, "Although my professional level is not as high as yours, my political level is definitely better than yours. After all, I have been a political cadre for so long, and I know much more about politics than you. You should listen carefully and remember carefully. " Everyone was scared. They all listened carefully to the secretary's reading ... without the intention of seeking truth from facts, they have a heart of grandstanding for Pang ... "Haha," grandstanding "is pronounced" grandstanding for Pang ",and there is a sigh below, but he doesn't know it yet. Continue "... the reeds on the wall are top-heavy and shallow; Bamboo shoots in the mountains have thick skins and empty stomachs, "he stopped to explain, and there was a giggle from below. "Later, once again," ... this attitude is seeking truth from facts, and Pang's heart is not sensational ... "The following finally smiled, and even the director sitting next to him couldn't help laughing. Later, he studied "Theory of Three Represents Theory". Somehow, there is an idiom "a poem can be moved to tears", but his old gentleman read it as "a poem can be established", which caused laughter again. The atmosphere of that study was lively and left a deep impression on us. In the future, everyone will tease each other and often say "grandstanding" and "one song can stand".

(2)

There is a colleague in the unit, a college student of workers, peasants and soldiers, with a low education level. Once I went to the big city bureau to report the materials, I called: "Hello, is this the stationmaster of XX?" My calendar has been sent out. Have you received it? "People don't understand:" What, what calendar? He was in a hurry: "That's the personal calendar you asked me to send." ..... "We laughed at it long ago. Haha, that "resume" is said to be a "resume". It's really a big girl in a sedan chair-this is the first time I've heard of it. Since then, "calendar table" has become synonymous with him. This guy often makes jokes like this and that. There is a "LU ZHOU LAO JIAO CO.,LTD Co., Ltd." in the wine, which he has always called "Luzhou Old Kiln". People asked him what kind of wine he was drinking today, and he said, "Not the same, Luzhou Old Kiln? "Old kiln shouted too much, so we called him' old kiln'. Of course, he also smiled: "Why are you making fun of me? Am I not better than a secretary? Grandstanding "-I pour!

Typing mistakes in composition

On new year's day, my family went to the history museum to visit the "ice toilet" …

Teacher's comment: Is there such a thing? I'm going too! (Terracotta Warriors)

After getting up in the morning, we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.

Teacher's comment: I don't know which funeral home is your home? Teachers never know ... (Yi Rong)

My left eyelid kept jumping last night. I thought it was a bra. Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today.

Teacher's comment: Are you so old, son? (ominous)

The newspaper said that oysters contaminated with heavy metals can "cure" cancer …

Teacher's comment: a word difference, raising people to turn over! Should I raise oysters quickly? This will make a lot of money ...

Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and shit" …

Teacher's comment: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (A piece of chicken)

When I went shopping on Sunday, I accidentally got caught in my anus in a hurry. What bad luck.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is curious-whose anus is so big ...? (steel door)

After visiting the flower market, I bought a "bargain" and prepared to take it home for the New Year.

Teacher's comment: if you read it correctly, gladiolus will cry …

My history teacher has long hair and shawl, short stature, bad temper and a little "chest" …

Teacher's comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you, "Wait for the history class, so tighten your skin." . "(intense)

I consider myself a good student, studying and "worrying" …

Teacher's comment: You have to worry-failure. (excellent)

On the "bumpy road" of life, we should firm our direction …

Teacher's comment: This road can be the ninth wonder after eight wonders of the world relayed the Terracotta Warriors.

I have lived in the last kitchen on the third floor of Uncle Chen's house next door since I was a child. I don't know why.

A gifted scholar in Jiangnan strayed into the royal garden and was arrested by officials.

The official asked, "Where are you from? Dare to enter the forbidden area! "

Genius scholars give their names.

The official said, "Oh, it turned out to be a gifted scholar. I hear you are good at telling jokes. If you can make me laugh with jokes, I'll let you go. However, only one word is allowed. "

How to say a joke in one sentence? The gifted scholar pondered for a long time.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "Bullshit!"

The official was surprised: "What? ! "

"Bullshit!"

"What do you mean?"

The gifted scholar explained, "It's up to you whether to let it go or not."

Hearing this, the official smiled and let people go.

(3)

Once upon a time, there was a playboy who was lazy and didn't study hard since he was a child. He often reads white and writes typos, which makes a lot of jokes.

One day, his wife was ill and wanted to eat loquat. He sent a servant to buy it. The servant was dumb, so he wrote a note and gestured for the servant to go to the fruit stall to buy something to eat. The mute can't read, so he went to the fruit stand and handed the note up. The fruit seller smiled at first sight, pointed to the opposite musical instrument store and told him to buy it there. When the mute entered the music shop, the shopkeeper was happy at first sight, and wrote another sentence on the note: "This thing doesn't weigh three kilograms, so it can't be sold." The dumb man came back with a note, and constantly chauffeured became angry when he saw that he had returned empty-handed. The dumb man handed me the note, and constantly chauffeured became even angrier: "Why can't it be sold?"? What nonsense! " His wife looked at the note and burst out laughing. It turns out that constantly chauffeured wrote loquat into pipa. She picked up a pen and wrote a poem:

Loquat is not this kind of pipa,

It's only my poor cultural level.

If the pipa can bear fruit,

The city is full of flutes and drums.

(4)

Chinese class, the female teacher asked; How to pronounce "soft" pinyin?

The boys all shouted "It's too soft"

Teacher: "Your boy's pronunciation is not standard, please ask the female classmate to add an answer. "

Female students will sing "I'm finished-soft"