Marriage habits of Han nationality?

Don't get married with the same surname: China has a traditional marriage custom, and people with the same surname are not allowed to get married. "Zuo Zhuan" says: "Men and women have the same surname, and their lives are not complicated." This was not unreasonable at that time, because the population was small at that time, and the same surname was inevitably related by blood. But today, thousands of years later, Taiwan Province Province still maintains this traditional concept, such as Zhou's surname, Su's surname, Lian's surname, Chen's surname, Hu's surname, Yao's surname, Xu's surname, She's surname, Tu's surname, wang xing's surname, Xiao's surname, Ye's surname, Xu's surname and Ke's surname, and they don't marry each other, because they are considered to be from the same clan.

Observe and evaluate the suitability of future spouse or son.

This is the first step to get married, that is, under the arrangement of the matchmaker, both men and women can peek at each other, such as two of a kind, and then they can get engaged. On blind date, the matchmaker accompanies the man, his parents and relatives to the woman's house. After sitting down, the woman came out to pour tea for the guests. In an instant, both men and women "caught a glimpse" and the woman immediately returned to her room. Like it or not, when the woman comes out to collect the teacup again, the man puts the red envelope in the teacup. If the woman sees a big red envelope, she knows that the man likes it, and then she will take out sesame seeds, red dates and peanuts to make tea for the guests. The blind date succeeded.

Big marriage, small marriage, indoor marriage

These are three different old-fashioned weddings. The "big wedding", that is, the matchmaker's words, was held in imitation of the traditional "six rites" in China and other countries (according to The Wedding of Yi Li and The Book of Rites and Wedding Instruments, the "six rites" in ancient China were: receiving gifts, asking names, being lucky, receiving gifts, inviting the day and welcoming the relatives). "Small marriage" refers to "husband" and "mother-in-law" (widows remarry and men live in women's homes). There are also two kinds of "indoor marriage": one is to bring a young girl back with a little money and marry her son when he is an adult, which is called "daughter-in-law" (Chinese mainland called "child bride"); Second, a boy who has some money behind others' backs will come back to raise him and marry his daughter when he grows up, or marry a daughter-in-law from outside, called "Zi Ling the Moth" or "adopted son". The ceremony of small marriage and indoor marriage is very simple. For example, the wedding of "daughter-in-law" is usually held on New Year's Eve. After "surrounding the kitchen", the elders will instruct their son and "daughter-in-law" to enter the house, and even if the wedding is completed, they will officially become husband and wife. This custom is called "pushing piles" in Taiwan Province province.

The "big wedding" is much more grand, and it is generally carried out according to the following five procedures: First, "asking the name", that is, "discussing marriage", men and women exchange wedding invitations, and ask fortune tellers to see if the two sides are suitable for marriage (Taiwan Province customs taboo says that the age difference between husband and wife is three or six years old), that is, eight people get married. Eight-character is a piece of Zhang Kuan 1 inch, 8-inch long red paper with the dates of birth of both men and women written on it. After men and women exchange eight characters, they put the eight characters in front of the Buddha tablet in their main hall and burn incense and worship Buddha. In these three days, if the family quarrels, steals, destroys utensils and other behaviors, it will be considered as an ominous sign, and marriage will be impossible. If the home is safe within three days, the man's paste will be sent to the woman's home. After the woman accepts it, she either asks a fortune teller or agrees to get married.

In the old customs, at the beginning of marriage negotiations between men and women, the woman also asked the man to put forward the "Zi" (eight characters) through the matchmaker as the basis for spying on the man. If the woman thinks it is appropriate and auspicious, write a score for each boy and girl to the man, otherwise the original will be returned. Someone asked the fortune teller to calculate eight characters. If two people are incompatible, there is no need to talk about marriage.

In the past, ordinary people paid great attention to the eight characters when they got married, and their marriage failed. These eight words have played a very important role. According to the old custom, the words on the eight characters must be even. If they are odd numbers, they should try to increase or decrease them into even numbers. Therefore, the writing of eight characters generally has a certain format. The words "made the year, made the moon, made the day, made the year, made the month, made the day, made the year" are added to the names of men, and so are women. After writing the name, add "Kun made a year, and the word A Jianrui is used flexibly to make up an even number, which is generally called" married son ". Fortune-tellers combine the eight characters of men and women into one post, which is called "marriage".

The second is "engagement", that is, "engagement". The man was accompanied by a matchmaker to the woman's house and presented gifts such as gold and silver jewelry, which the woman returned.

Then there is the "end of employment", which is the so-called "big employment". The man is accompanied by the matchmaker, the marriage certificate and bride price are sent to the woman's house, and the woman gives the book to the matchmaker, which is the formal engagement. After the engagement, the woman invited her to the engagement party. After dinner, the man's relatives should wipe their mouths and leave quietly, and the woman should do the same thing without knowing it, and avoid saying "farewell", "peer" and "goodbye", otherwise it will be unlucky. Because "seeing off" and "leaving" in Taiwan Province Province often mean death and funeral, and "goodbye" will remind people of "goodbye" and may lead to "remarriage".

The fourth is "inviting a day", that is, setting a wedding date, the matchmaker asks the fortune teller to choose an auspicious day, and the male family sends a "welcome book" and a "gift book" to the female family, and the female family returns books and clothes; Finally, it is' kissing', that is, formal' marriage'. Weddings in Taiwan Province Province are usually held in April, May, June, July and September. Because the word "four" in April is homophonic with the word "death"; Moreover, the word "five" in May is homophonic with "nothing", so getting married this month is in danger of infertility; June is a year and a half. If you get married this month, you will be called the "half-year bride", fearing that you can't grow old together; July is the "ghost month" in folk customs. If you get married this month, you will get a "ghost bride". The homonym of "nine" and "dog" in September should be avoided as far as possible to avoid being called "dog bride".

On the wedding day, it is generally like the old customs in southern Fujian, but there are also many unique customs: for example, when the bride gets on the sedan chair, the woman's family should wave a bowl of water on the sedan chair to show that her daughter is married like "water from the waves" and hopes that the marriage will be happy and never give up; There is a bamboo tree with roots and leaves next to the sedan chair (commonly known as "stepping on the foot"), so that after the daughter marries her husband's family, the family can feel peaceful, which also means that the bride is married for the first time rather than remarried; There is also a one-meter screen hanging behind the sedan chair, which is said to be "evil spirits and lucky money"; Not far from the sedan chair, the bride will throw a folding fan or handkerchief, keys and the like, indicating that she will never return to her family again; For example, in other sedan chairs in Lu Yu You Yue, the matchmakers of both sides gave each other fake flowers, which is said to avoid the ominous sign of "celebrating happiness".

When the sedan chair arrives at the man's house, there are still many exquisite things. For example, after the bride gets off the sedan chair, the woman holds the bride in one hand and holds the rice over the bride's head in the other. Now more umbrellas are used to indicate that the groom should subdue the bride to avoid being "inside" in the future; "Step on the broken tile", that is, when the bride enters the venue, she has to step on a new tile put in advance by the man's family to show "breaking evil" (Taiwanese "breaking evil" is similar to "breaking tile"); "Crossing the brazier" refers to crossing the brazier full of charcoal fire to create "good luck" and make life richer. After doing so much homework, it's time to worship heaven and earth, enter the bridal chamber, entertain guests and so on. On the wedding night, the bride can't go into the kitchen to fetch water for a bath, but the girl must fetch water for her. And choose a boy who is a dragon or a snake in the zodiac and roll on the hi-bed, wishing the newlyweds an early birth; When sleeping, the groom should put the shoes where the bride can't step on them, and the clothes should also be put on the bride's clothes. Otherwise, it is said that if the bride steps on his shoes or wears the wrong clothes, the groom will be afraid of his wife all his life and have many tricks.

Visit her parents.

A few days after marriage, the bride was accompanied by the groom for the first time, commonly known as "mothering". On that day, newlyweds must be greeted by their parents and brothers and sisters; You must go back to that man's house before sunset. It is said that only in this way can boys be born. Before leaving, the bride's family will send a pair of chickens, commonly known as "Rooster". The chickens must be strong and disease-free. They are the hen about to lay eggs and the rooster that just crowed. On the wedding day, parents pulled two nine-foot-long red ropes, one to tie the hen's foot and the other to tie the rooster's foot, and then put them in a big new rice basket, and the bridesmaid took them to the groom's house like an escort. After entering the door, it is called "in-laws chicken" or "couple chicken", which is intended to wish the newlyweds a harmonious life and love each other. The nine-foot red rope means "long (nine)". When the bride entered the bridal chamber, the matchmaker or elder sister-in-law quickly untied her and put the "in-law chicken" under the wedding bed. At this time, the onlookers were as excited as watching a wonderful program to see whether the rooster came out first or the hen appeared first. In order to lure the chickens out, it is customary to sprinkle a handful of rice in front of the bed. If "Chicken Man" comes out first, it will be full of applause: this indicates that Mr. Hui is a boy. If "mother hen" takes the lead, people naturally have an auspicious saying: Mr. Sister will recruit a younger brother. Everyone pushed the wedding to a climax in this happy and peaceful atmosphere, which shows that chickens played the role of folk actors in the wedding. So no matter what, we should raise and protect this kind of chicken. Even if it is a natural death, the owner is reluctant to eat, but also "buried" people. There is also a saying that I am afraid that my daughter will forget her family and let the chicken lead her. When you get married, you should send two red sugarcane plants with leaves and bring them back to the man's house for planting, so that your children can thrive and so on.