What are the engagement customs in Shanghai?

1. Engagement is also called engagement and climbing. In the old customs, marriage is decided by parents, and the man asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house, which is called "seeking eight characters". If the woman is interested, she will put her daughter's "year, month, day and time" on a red sticker and send it to the man. The man asks the fortune teller to "match the eight characters", which is also called "arranging the eight characters", and then the parents, brothers and sisters of both sides wait to look at each other, which is called "blind date". Both men and women hold banquets on auspicious days, which is called "climbing relatives' wine"

After liberation, most young men and women chose their own spouses and registered their marriage with the government with the consent of their parents. From the 1970s, women accompanied by their mother, sister-in-law and elder sister went to men on blind dates, whether they knew each other or were introduced by others. This is the so-called "recognizing people". If both parties are satisfied, they will choose a date for engagement, and the man will entertain the woman, her parents and their close relatives.

In the old days, when winning the lottery, the man gave the woman a token, which was called "winning the lottery" and "walking the plate". Rich people give silver coins, ornaments, tea leaves and flour, commonly known as "golden buds and jade dust". Tea is essential, which means "one thousand dollars and ten thousand gifts can't be bought, and four or two teas will last for life." There are also dates, peanuts, longan and pine nuts, which mean "early birth" and the woman gives red and green dyed rice, which is called "golden beads and jade grains"; There is also 1 glutinous rice balls, which are called "Taipo Zongzi"; There are 5 ~ 15 small zongzi around, which means "five children are admitted" and "seven children and eight husbands are happy". During the Republic of China, in addition to gold and silver jewelry and coins, gifts such as "seven salted pork legs, eight fresh pork legs weighing about seven kilograms, 65,438 +0 fresh pork legs weighing about eight kilograms, and 65,438 +0 big herring weighing about nine kilograms" were presented, as well as geese, chickens, zongzi and Ding Sheng cakes. Before the wedding (ranging from one year to several months), the man agreed on the wedding date, commonly known as "sending a post to the foot", and then presented coins, clothes, cloth and so on. After liberation, the wind of winning lottery tickets once disappeared, but now it is on the rise again.

3. Wedding Makeup In the old society, the day before the wedding, the man went to the woman's house to marry the dowry, commonly known as "shifting makeup". Late Qing dynasty and early Republic of China: the most frugal, 7 pieces; Slightly abundant, it is a double box with four ridges; One cabinet has two boxes, four cabinets have eight boxes, and there are also "bedding boxes" and "pollen boxes", and quilts, clothes, daily necessities and other things are readily available. There is also a "crony book" (farming) as a dowry. Poor households just said to prepare thin quilts, toilets, foot pads and some clothes.

Part of the dowry is given by relatives and friends, which is called "makeup aid". The bedding in the dowry is sewn by a woman who is a "blessed person" (that is, a woman with parents, brothers, sisters, children and husbands), and when folded, happy money is put in. Children's bucket (toilet) contains red eggs, dates, longevity fruit, cottonseed and sugar cane. There are bright red happy characters on cars and boats with makeup. It costs a lot of money to enter a woman's house, otherwise it will be very picky and refuse to make up. Dowry moved to the man's house, lit a pot and set off firecrackers. They are put in the living room first, and then moved into the new house. From "hail man" to bed.

In the early days of liberation, thrift was advocated, and the necessary furniture was provided by the man or woman. Since the 1960s, dowry has been paid again. Nowadays, refrigerators, color TVs, tape recorders, washing machines and even "bankbooks" are included in the dowry. The wind of comparison is getting worse, and the habit of wasting money is on the rise again. The so-called "thousands of dollars marry millions", "children get married, parents peel off the skin". It is not surprising that both sides spend tens of thousands of yuan.

4. Get married and rent a sedan chair in the old days. The bride gets into the sedan chair and cries over her mother. This is called "crying". In rural areas, there is a bad habit of "fighting for relatives". Colorful sedan chairs come to the door, and the woman's family asks the man's family for tea gifts, door instruments and other expenses. Dissatisfied, refused to send a sedan chair. I often get married with China in Japan and come back at midnight.

At the beginning of liberation, the old customs were abolished, and there was no need for colored sedan chairs for weddings. The banquet is also frugal. Tea marriage, tourist marriage and group marriage are all the rage. In recent years, we have to use cars, buses, dozens of tables for banquets, and hundreds of yuan for gifts. The bad habit of "fighting for relatives" has reappeared.

In the old society, people of all ages had a good time and quarreled with each other in the wedding night. As the saying goes, "within three days, grandparents can quarrel." The bride and groom must be patient and don't get angry. After liberation, just look at the bride's appearance and the decoration of the new house. Nowadays, "disturbing new houses" is popular again.

6. The day after the wedding, the newlyweds went to the woman's house together. It's called the back door. The woman's family gave a banquet, which was called "Huimen wine". The newlyweds must return before sunset that day. This custom still exists today.