Fortune teller is short of money _ fortune teller is short of money.

Qq Space Funny Talk about Ren Lei's funniest qq space joke in 2020.

1. I want to be a shining mental patient in your life. 2.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

On Valentine's Day, no one held my hand, so I put it in my pocket.

I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?

What are you afraid of? I won't hit you. I am an easy-going person. Throw him to me.

6.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't played the honey trap yet!

8. If you change your left hand to your right hand, you can't get through to your right hand. Rats come to your house with tears in their eyes.

9. In summer, I went to the hippo pool in Beijing Zoo. Because of the hot weather, the hippo only showed its head. At this moment, I heard a girl say, Oh, my God! There is such a big frog!

10. Last year, my mobile phone was stolen while riding in the North Bus Station, so I called my friend's mobile phone and was hung up three times in a row. Soon I received a text message: Dude, stop fighting. Are you bored? I won't give you your phone back!

1 1. Mencius was playful when he was young, but he was smart and had a strong learning ability. Lai lives near the cemetery, and he often imitates undertaker to play the trumpet. Meng Mu was worried that he would neglect his studies, so he moved his family to a city near the slaughterhouse. Mencius soon learned to kill pigs and sheep. Meng Mu had to move his family near the university, and Mencius soon learned to play Dota.

12. You hang yourself and I'll pass the rope.

13. I really love someone and hurt my purest heart. My love is gone.

14. You have many sisters, and you don't lack me, but I am the only one who is good to you!

15. Don't call me arrogant, but I refuse to deal with animals.

16. I want to use you as a toilet, because when I don't like you, I will sit on your ass.

17.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

18. The schemer turned white so quickly that my hair turned black.

19. The happiest thing in the world is to eat, and the second happiest thing is to eat later!

20. You look fresh! !

2 1. Since ancient times, there are few charming girls on the Internet, with crooked melons and cracked dates in a row, and occasionally a few mandarin ducks bark, which is also an adulteress with perverts!

22. How many nights should I spend without you?

23. Oh, you are a holy monk, the one who looks exactly like you. It's your sister

24. One day, I changed the automatic reply to and then what? As a result, someone talked all afternoon.

25. Since you appeared, I know that it is so beautiful to be loved. Write when you have time!

As long as I detect a trace of impatience in your tone, I don't want to continue talking to you.

27. You can break my heart, but never let me give up.

28. If being handsome is also a mistake, I'd rather repeat it.

29.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

30. When your indifference exceeds the load that my heart can bear, then I will give my heart to you and leave.

3 1. looks like a steamed stuffed bun, so don't blame the dog for following.

32. There is not a cloud in the air, there is no sun overhead, there is no wind, and all the trees are standing there listlessly.

33. Are you a frog in the well, or did you not even run to the well?

34. I suddenly found that those schoolmasters who have studied well since childhood generally don't have girlfriends.

35. Liangxi: If I were wifi, more people would love me.

36.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

37. Fighter in scum, vip in scum, your brain was struck by lightning.

38. Life doesn't care about the length, just want to live wonderfully, eat enough and be healthy!

39.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

40. It is romantic for two people to stare at each other for a long time.

4 1. I lack sleep, money, love and brains. The only reason I don't lack is: I don't lack meat!

42. In China, a bitter story called "Opening School" is about to be broadcast.

43.- My wife is not responsible for solving problems #

44. You said I didn't love you as much as he did.

45. The highest level of cuckolding is a belt that has been repeatedly worn.

46. protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people ~

2020QQ space is funny, talk about the complete works of paragraphs.

20xxQQ space funny talk about selected paragraphs:

First, I held a parent-teacher meeting for my son and saw that the teacher was his primary school classmate. Play truant together, fight, go to the game room, do everything. How did you become a teacher? Haha, like a tiger, like a son, get out. If you are a teacher, you still use the tiger father to get through this TM. Should children transfer to other schools?

Second, I found a WIFI at home, and the password is woshidasb. I entered woshidasb with trepidation, which was really wrong. Hehehehehe, even the most basic trust between people is gone!

Third, the novice backed up and said to the uncle on the side of the road: Grandpa, if you are in trouble, say, Grandpa: Good crash, Grandpa: OK, hit it.

Fourth, my little nephew came to my house to play. I'm eating cucumber, staring at me. I gave him one conveniently, and he took it and said that he hadn't eaten cucumber for several years. I was shocked at that time. What are you pretending to be three and a half years old?

5. Female colleagues are on a business trip, and there is a service phone saying that they can provide handsome guys. Colleagues said no need. The man said, but a tough guy who can insist on 1 hour, oh, no 1 hour, I'll give you 200 for free! Colleagues don't believe in evil, so they agree. Then a handsome guy came, just 10 minutes! Left with 200 yuan! Colleagues sitting by the bed for a long time can't recover! Nima, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture!

6. If you treat women as clothes, you will run naked sooner or later.

Seven, today's training places down. I asked my boss angrily: Why didn't I? He said: Don't worry, I'll sign you up next time. I said wait until the Year of the Monkey! On reflection, the leader said, well, it's almost time! I

8. Today, my friend called me and invited me to dinner. It's my turn: why are you willing to invite me to dinner today? Friend: no money, no food for a day. Me: I got a grass.

Nine, two patients chat. A: Doctors are really annoying. It's just a disease. I don't eat, so I don't eat either! Dude, you are not as comfortable as me. My doctor said, you can eat whatever you want. A: Brother, let's go!

Ten, a buddy chased the sister paper of the English department, made a lot of preparations in advance and learned a lot of English. When they met, they got along well, talking and laughing. When we broke up, sister paper said three words: wall, eyes and knees. That buddy paused, and I don't know what it means. I replied awkwardly, you are so humorous. Then the woman never contacted him again. English, Wall: Wall (I) Eyes: Eyes (Love) Knees: Knees (You)

Eleven, the awesome people are not how many people are in the background, but how many people can be in the background.

Xiao Yang came back from studying in Japan and brought a beautiful Japanese girlfriend. The family is very happy. At noon, when the family was having dinner together, grandpa told us that he had dealt with the Japanese before. Grandpa was foaming at the mouth and said that when I participated in the anti-Japanese guerrilla war and killed the Japanese, it was just a knife. Girlfriend doesn't understand, let Xiao Yang translate. Xiao Yang held back for a while and said, Grandpa, he said he was very good at killing pigs.

Thirteen, it is said that Zhang Fei and Liu Bei get together in the middle of the night to drink and talk. Thunder roared outside the window, and both of them were flushed. Liu Bei said: Second brother, we had a good drink today. It is getting late, so we have enough time. Zhang Fei laughed and shouted, Look at you, big brother. You are drunk. The second brother's name is Yun Chang.

14. Wife: I have seen it many times, but it is not appropriate: she must have a high eye. Wife: Do you have a high eye? Me: Not high. Then I slept on the sofa all night.

I played mahjong with some colleagues all night last night. Go to work directly in the morning. At the morning meeting, the manager mentioned above: there are three issues that need to be focused on. My colleague who lost money last night was half awake and said, wait a minute, I want to touch three.

Sixteen, boyfriends are also foodies. Shopping with him, I found him staring at a beautiful woman eating ice cream and watching her go away. Before I could get angry and ridicule him, he turned to me and said, I want to eat that ice cream! Is he too witty?

17. I went to get a haircut that day. Just entering the barber shop, a bald uncle followed me. The barber just wants to ask my uncle what to do. He pointed at me and said, I want this young man's hairstyle. Just as the barber was in a mess, I said, I'm here for a haircut.

20xxQQ space is funny, talk about the selection of paragraph 2:

1. Son: Dad, what is frugality and what is meanness? Dad: I can't bear to buy something for myself. My mother would say I'm frugal. When I am reluctant to buy something for my mother, my mother will say that I am stingy. This is frugality and meanness.

Second, show off a black and smooth hair to your girlfriend. At this time, my girlfriend said: Be careful with long hair and waist. I asked curiously: Be careful of what? My best friend said: be careful of taking a shit on the trumpet.

Third, a woman left her camera in the car, and the driver shouted: Your camera lady said: You fucking drove away like a duck driver. After a while, the young lady chased and shouted: Master, my camera, my camera!

Four, who can not shoot for 90 minutes-Chinese national football team

I have been a coach for ten years. You are the 48th student I have ever seen who turned left at the intersection and bypassed the police post. If you drive a bus, you can run over a policeman.

Six, one day I asked a buddy: What does the left eye jump? He said to jump for money, and I asked: What is the right eye jumping for? He also said that jumping is a disaster. I also asked: What is the sign of jumping eyes? He said: It means that something is going to happen to you, and the insurance you bought has worked. Buddhist nun

7. Xiao Zhang has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief, so he has been sucking it into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, that's enough! Stop it! The whole class is quiet. The teacher added, who stole noodles in class and made such a noise?

Eight, the girls' dormitory has been haunted. Once I went to the toilet alone in the middle of the night, suddenly a woman with long white hair appeared and said to me, look, I have no feet. I subconsciously looked down and found that I could only see the meat on my stomach. Then the ghost comforted me for a long time.

Nine, the most romantic thing I can think of is to finish all the poses with you.

Ten, junior high school, everyone in the class is very naughty, discuss. When the teacher came, they called Lafayette Jixiang (female teacher) together, not standing or sitting. When the teacher entered the room, the monitor got up, and the auspicious shouts of Lafayette were deafening. Unexpectedly, three students who were late for smoking ran in and froze with the teacher. When the three men saw it, they all beat their cuffs and knelt down and shouted. I waited for help to come late, but forgot that Lafayette had forgiven God's reaction.

This is the 20th clinic this morning. I am too lazy to look up. The patient spoke first: Doctor, do you remember me? Last year, just last year, you showed me rheumatism. You told me to be careful not to get wet. I seem to recall this patient: Oh, it's you. What's the matter? What can I do for you today? The patient replied, I just want to ask you, it's been a year. Can I take a shower now?

Twelve, smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart!

Thirteen, only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

Fourteen, beating is kissing, scolding is love, and love is not enough!

Fifteen, one day, the young man was chatting with his brothers in a group video, and suddenly he heard his husband hurry up, and the water was getting cold. A brother said, big brother, you are so happy. Suddenly, you heard another sentence. What are you dawdling about? Wash the dishes quickly.

Sixteen, I love you is true, telling you is a big adventure.

17. Mom: Why is the 100 I left on the table missing, daughter? Have you seen it? Daughter: I think it was in 2008. It was overdue, so I flushed it in the toilet.

18. Germany beat Brazil 7: 1 Some friends lamented that the Germans were so powerful that it was not 30: 1 to beat China. Then another friend said: that 30 is not difficult, but that 1 is hard to estimate.

Nineteen, sister paper: XX, last night I dreamed that a weasel was desperately chasing me! Sao nian: hey hey, you mean you are a chicken. Sister paper: MLGB, roll thickness.

Twenty, you have to endure hardships in order to drive a Land Rover. If you don't work hard, you can only drive Li Xia.

2 1. Zhang Dali, the headmaster of our school, got drunk and lost face on the 50th anniversary of the school. No one can stop him from going crazy and making all kinds of noise. So the dean called his wife, and her wife got pregnant immediately and rushed to the hotel. Give a mouth when you arrive. The headmaster suddenly woke up, bowed his head and said nothing, and followed his wife home. We all froze. You see, the principal is more than 1.8 meters tall, and his wife is only 1.55 meters small, which is incredible.

22. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren.

When I was young, there was a classmate named Zheng Yue in my class. Because the handwriting is too ugly, once the teacher handed out homework and asked for it several times, but no one agreed. We also wonder why there is Guanyin in the class.

Judge: Is the process of your crime exactly the same as what the procuratorate said? Defendant: No, not exactly. But the method he said is also very enlightening to me.

Twenty-five, mosquitoes, born for my blood. I live to kill mosquitoes.

Twenty-six, people who have always felt that the attitude of solving math problems is too bad! I thought we said we would verify it! Verify it! Please. You're begging it! I made a mistake and deducted my points! You begged me! If I am wrong, don't ask me! Call someone else!

Qq space is ridiculous and funny.

1. There are bosses everywhere, not social people, and the whole society is always dumbfounded.

Save water, so try to take a bath with your girlfriend.

If letting go once is like coughing, why should I care about the tenderness I can't get?

I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my pain.

I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but I put them in a pot to stew soup.

7. I don't want to know that you are ill. Don't be so obvious.

8. I'm fine, thank you for your injury, and let me see clearly that there are dogs in this world.

9. If you waste my present, I will waste your future.

10. When you speak ill of me, can you stop embellishing it and think it's cooking?

1 1. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard and tired you are, stand up and give her a heavy slap.

12. I have a crush on you because I'm out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

13. I waited for a long time to hear from you, and all I got was haha. You fucking think I'm telling a joke.

14. Without the dialogue of nutrition, I really want to pee and fertilize it.

15. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of death.

16. Take your complaints out in the sun every day, and you won't be short of calcium.

17. carve loneliness on the bottle, drink it into the bladder, and pee it out, so that loneliness can be scattered all over the floor!

12. Originally, the IQ was not high, or even the EQ was zero, which made people live.

13. The wind is fine. It messed up my hair and blew off your wig.

14. In the current weather, instant noodles can be directly soaked in tap water.

15. The soil is used for digging and the pit is used for burying you.

16. You are like the Nine-Day Fairy, but your face landed first.

17. Most people want to transform the world, and few people want to transform themselves.

18. I said I couldn't afford to get hurt, that's the day your house caught fire.

19. Big head, thick neck and stupid movements like a pig!

20. Men can't get used to it, and the more they get used to it, the more jerk they become. Women are favored, and the more they are favored, the more balls they have.

2 1. If you love me, put on my wedding dress and take it off yourself.

When you point your index finger at others, don't forget that there are still three fingers pointing at yourself.

23. You all said: If I had known this, why did I say: Why are you still alive when you know you are going to die?

When you are young, don't run amok. What can you say when you are old?

I want to send you roses, but the price is too expensive; I want to comfort you, but I haven't learned it yet; I want to kneel to you, but the ring is still in the safe.

26. Red beans are not grown in the south. They grow on my face. I really miss them.

27. Face is used to raise eyes, and eyes are used to see faces.

28. Don't talk to Brother Lang. Actually, Brother Lang is also very open. Don't compare with me, I know you can't afford to play; Don't talk to me, I will throw bricks; Don't mess with me I usually keep a low profile.

29. Coincidence is like yawning when you are sleepy. Mung bean flies without opening their mouths. It's really disgusting.

30. Does it itch? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, so are the nerve endings.

3 1, fart, suppress bad heart. Don't push, exercise.

32. I am a thin man. I can count my ribs when I am sad!

33. You seem to have a lot of personality. You are not tall, and your personality is still so bad.

Please don't harass, I am harassing others.

35. If you use a honey trap, I will accompany you.

36, the flowers of the motherland, I step on one.

37. If one day I fall down. Remember, I'll come up for you.

38. The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

39. There are no women who can't marry men, only men who can't marry women.

40. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

4 1, where there is no cow dung in the end of the world, why unrequited love for a piece of shit.

42. Man is iron, rice is steel, and there is no soup in his bones.

43. Some people are so tender that they come out as soon as they pinch, but I am so timid that I bubble when I pinch my nose.

44. After which famous family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!

Qq space funny talk about Daquan 2020 funny talk about funny qq space.

1. When I was a child, it was dangerous to swim by the river. Dad saw it. Let me go up. After I climbed up hard, my dad kicked me into the river and said, let you swim!

You can't make a woman cry, because a woman's tears are the water in her brain. If the water in her brain dries up, it will be difficult in the future.

3. What does face matter? It's just a nice face. It's clearer when you're bigger.

I'm going to Japan today. When I left, my friend saw me off at the airport, gave me a USB flash drive and said, well, don't forget to bring some local products when you come back!

Let me get this straight. If you're not my girlfriend, don't blame me for being your boyfriend.

6. [Sometimes you need to slap yourself and ask yourself what's wrong. ]

7. Lie down where you fell.

8. Some women wear stockings to look good. There are also some women wearing stockings, which shows that the quality is very good.

9. Dude, you are a cold dish, no one can touch it//*

10. Please fasten your seat belt when the Eight Immortals cross the sea.

1 1. I won't marry unless I am from Peking University, and I won't marry unless I am from Tsinghua.

12. Memories are not terrible, but memories are terrible.

13. Don't be too nice to me, lest I commit suicide.

14. There is a black forest on the right side of the left leg and the left side of the right leg! My understanding of white matter has finally reached the level of Nicholas Tse!

15. Learning is hard and tiring, and tuition fees have to be paid. It is better to join the underworld, eat, drink and sleep!

16. Give me sunshine and I will be brilliant. Give me a flood, I'll drown you with shit, and you'll have dinner.

17. Everyone has potential energy, but it is easy: it is whitewashed by habit, blurred by time and consumed by inertia.

18. When the wife is angry, she is mostly pretending. Just put money into her death and spend it casually.

19. Made a fried bacon with green garlic. Named Plants vs Zombies

20. Being alive is the last word.

2 1. I felt so beautiful when I fell asleep that I couldn't sleep anymore.

22. Some people test strength, some people test eyesight, and I test imagination!

23. If you don't have enough to eat, people have only one worry; There are countless troubles when you are full.

24. There can really be pure friendship between men and women, as long as one kills and the other plays dumb.

25. If you spend your youth doing nothing, it will be a sad tragedy to recall 2008.

26. Time equals money, so I lose money every day. These days, time is expensive and wages are too little.

27. My personality depends on who I am and my attitude depends on who you are.

28. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.

29. I'm not Youlemei, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you still want to hold me in your hand?

30. Anesthetize yourself with some alcohol and tell yourself that this is not true.

3 1. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

32. Gradually, I learned your habit of speaking. Paranoia, dislike, is a habit.

33. Girl, there are no shop assistants after this village.

After receiving the news, Troy has already started to work. If I don't cancel it within one minute, hehe ~ I'm embarrassed to pull it ~

35. Stupid is too smart!

36. Who says money can't buy time? Network management, add two dollars! Who says money can't buy knowledge? Teacher, this is my tuition! Who says money can't buy love? Grandma, this is my gift!

It's a bit crowded to go to work by bus today. As soon as I got on the bus, I heard a woman calling your mother's feet, and everyone on the bus was shocked. . .

38. You are such a bitch. How forgetful you are.

39. Even if some people die, they can always recite them. Some people are alive, but they can't get a phone call for a day.

40. Don't cheat in the exam, fart your mother. Don't panic when you cheat, but play dumb when you get caught.

4 1. Writing these things makes me exhausted. Both pens are out of oil.