Fortune-telling funny news _ Fortune-telling funny news video

Notice: After investigation, you have repeatedly used SMS to spread yellow information. Please surrender to the public security department within three days, otherwise it will be dealt with seriously. Urban anti-cyber crime center.

Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone drastic internal changes due to overload and is about to explode. After reading this tip, please leave it in the empty space immediately. ...

On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted, "Stop crowding!" Stop squeezing! Squeeze all the milk out! (She is holding yogurt. )

When the horse is coquettish, it jumps, when the donkey is coquettish, it barks, when the man is coquettish, it becomes warped, and when the woman is coquettish, the most coquettish one keeps smiling at the mobile phone.

A nun went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound, and the careless nurse gave her a pregnant woman's test sheet. After reading it, the nun sighed and said, "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

Seeing this message, you already owe me a hug; Delete this message and owe me a kiss; Save this message and owe me an appointment; If you reply, you owe me everything; If you don't reply, you are mine.

I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-Sofa!

The other day, you shook that thing up and down and told you to be light and not too violent, but you just wouldn't listen. It made me sticky and wet ... I told you champagne would be sprayed.

Are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me. I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you too.

I've always wanted to say something to you, but you know its weight. Once I say it, maybe we can't even be friends, but I can't control my feelings ... when will you invite me to dinner?

Urgent reminder: look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a psycho who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.

Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Tonight 10 sharp, please come to China People's Bank with sabers, shotguns and soil cannons.

Miss's four wishes: rich people come to karaoke bars, and there are countless tips. There is no AIDS in the world, and men ejaculate twice.

If there are girls who don't have sex, they will have sex for heaven. The higher the chest, the more coquettish, the smaller the waist, the more stunted and the smaller the figure.

Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

"Is it tight?" "Never mind!" "Can you go in a little more?" "Be careful, it should work!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt! It feels so cool! Just buy this pair. "

I thought about it in my heart. It itches after two tablets. Take a stick and stick it in the middle. This stick is too short. Neither of them itches, and I don't want to ... Are you addicted to smoking again?

Men are not bad, a little abnormal; Men are not coquettish, they are bastards. Men don't care, they are absolutely nervous; Men are not hooligans, and their development is abnormal.

The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "And 1 pig"? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages"! Hee hee! !

Do n't move Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right. Standing among perverts, talking about you and reading text messages!

I fell in love with you at first sight, but I don't want to talk to you. I came to see you three times and four times and gave you five roses. Liushen didn't live to see you, so anxious that I could take care of you. Kuya will kill you in nine days, and I will kill you in ten days.

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

A first-class man has a home outside his home, a second-class man has flowers outside his home, a third-class man finds a home among flowers, a fourth-class man comes home from work, a fifth-class man's wife is not at home, and a sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

The men's and women's toilets in the school are adjacent. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. She was at a loss when toilet paper came from next door. The girl turned pale and asked, "Who is it?" A deep and powerful male voice replied, "Lei Feng!"

Anonymous went to the Arabian Hotel for dinner. When he saw someone with a big beard, he didn't have to pay for the meal. Just wondering, the boss said that all the bearded people are policemen. The woman lifted her skirt and said, "I'm a secret policeman."

Affectionate is stupid, heartless is the coolest, infatuation is stupid, and unfeeling is knowing the world. It's a bit silly to love only one, but love two at least, three five are just right, and ten eight are handsome.

Meeting you is accidental, liking you is natural, falling in love with you is firm, getting you is happiness, and accompanying you for life is inevitable.

Cricket and centipede got married, and the next day, cricket complained: break one fucking leg, break one, break another, break one for one night!

A village woman was carrying a basket of eggs, and several big men in Lu Yu ran away after gang rape. The peasant woman got up and patted the dust on her body: what a big deal! I thought it was an egg grab!

A woman blushes five times in her life: the first time; The first time with her husband; Not a husband for the first time; When collecting money for the first time; I paid for the first time.

When I rubbed the magic lamp three times, the genie asked me what I wanted to wish for. I said: I want you to help me take care of a person who is reading a short message and wish that person peace and happiness forever.

A bachelor will marry a wife. When making love, the bachelor said: one gun and two bullets, no war for 27 years. The wife is not convinced: a temple with two doors did not enter 7633 in 3 1 year.

The pig cried sadly. Mother asked: Why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted him: son, don't cry, the person reading this message is even more stupid than you!

The first time was hard: it really hurt to lie in bed and endure the hard insertion in the body, but it didn't hurt so much after it was completely inserted. It was quite exciting ... It was glorious to donate blood.

I was nervous the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he stuck me in my body. There is blood, and the pain is speechless. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this.

Without the wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

If your mobile phone is not waterproof, be careful not to drool on it when reading short messages, or it will break!

Guo Xuwei pig is great. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day. Seeing snowflakes flying in the sky, he rolled with joy and was out of breath. Where is the pig? Look through the text messages.

Everyone is awake and I am drunk alone, and it is most precious to have a heart. I don't regret meeting true feelings and true love, and this life is only for you (the secret is in the fifth word of every sentence)

If you are sad, please tell me, and I will help you bear it! If you are happy, you will infect me! If you shed tears, my face will always be wet; If you are sad, it is always my heart that suffers.

Warning: Hello! Because your mobile phone is ugly and outdated, which seriously affects the city appearance, we decided to send a signal to destroy it.

Men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs.

A public toilet couplet: all heroes in the world bow down here; A virtuous woman, a virgin in the world, came in to untie the bandwidth skirt; Horizontal criticism: the meaning of heaven and earth

A Dai, the groom, knows nothing about men and women. Father said, just hit your wife's urine with the hardest thing on your body! The next morning, my father found A Dai lying next to the toilet!

The girl bought bananas, put them in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached out to catch them from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: miss, please make way, I'm getting off.

Zero in the exam is called duck eggs, doing bad things is called bad people, being empty-headed is called an idiot, being fired is called fuck off, swearing is called an asshole, and reading text messages is called a fool.

Don't let me down, I get letters every day!

Looking at your streamlined body, I want to burn my body, open your unopened seal, insert my own stick and suck your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite

The most striking brother-Viagra; The youngest grandmother-mistress; The most difficult theft to prevent-cheating; The most lively corridor-hair salon; Best seller-female secretary

Loving someone is when you suddenly don't know what to say when you dial the phone. I wanted to listen to the familiar voice, but what I really wanted to dial was a string in my heart.

May you be happy every day for 365 days a year, 8760 hours forever, 5256000 wonderful minutes and 3 1536000 seconds.

A farmer asked a veterinarian to raise pigs. The veterinarian said that it seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

I wish you a new year: your career is in full swing, your health is like a tiger, your money is countless, your work is not hard, your leisure is like a mouse, your romance is like joy, and happiness belongs to you.

Men are lascivious and heroic. Women are coquettish and noble. Men don't care, it's purely nominal. Women are not coquettish and their grades are not high.

When Comrade Lao Jiao went abroad for the first time and went through the customs, the customs officer: Is his surname Jiao? Lao Jiao thought for a moment, and finally answered firmly: Sexual intercourse, about twice a week!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at MINUS 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either! Ha ha! !

Riddle: eunuchs used to have it, but not after entering the palace; Monks do, but no, foreigners are longer than China people. Hit people with things? Wrong-it's a name!

Anonymous told Fortune magazine. Fortune teller: Miss, be careful recently! Because you have a bad omen! W: Would it be better if I took off my bra?

I will never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. You can't learn if you forget. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Please call 1 10 for free to win a 15-day value-added tour and arrange a shuttle bus. The top ten will be sent to the detention center for a group photo, and 10,000 people will be massaged with their fists.

I was born useful, but I can't understand it! One day, Wang Di woke up from a dream. Get up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, and he will understand after eating the cake (it will be a surprise to try to read the third word of each sentence).

It's wood who makes furniture, scholars who know poetry, people who think about money, talents who practice, women who want to be in shape, geniuses who send messages and idiots who read text messages!

Touch your head, so gentle; Touch your face, it's so hot; Touch your waist, so coquettish; Touch your hand and follow me; Touch your back and sleep with me!

I heard that a pig can imitate people, so I ran to see it, but I didn't believe everything I saw: the pig was actually reading text messages on his mobile phone like a human!

Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, a day with you is a beautiful day.

Love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is not in the service area; It's painful to think about it, and it's sad to think about it. When will I pay for it and turn it on again? Horizontal approval: dreams come true

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

A monkey saw a man taking a bath and fell from the tree with a smile. He asked why. He said with a smile that human beings are really strange animals. Look at their short tails, they have to be born in front. Ha ha. ...

You should marry Xiao Zhao, be friends with Ling Huchong, be a man with Qiao Feng, and go out with Wei Xiaobao.

Brother, I'd like you to meet a girlfriend: she is noble in temperament, charming in appearance, charming in figure, with long flowing hair and gentle eyes ... She is 80 years old this year.

Urgent notice: Polygamy will be resumed from now on, and those who remain monogamous two weeks later will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months but not more than three years, and will be heavily fined.

The husband looked at his wife wearing a bra and said, you really don't have to wear it, because there is nothing to put in it! The wife replied with a sneer, aren't you still wearing underwear? Although the smallest size is too big.

When you saw this message, I was thinking of you quietly in a corner of the world, wondering what you were doing and whether you were thinking of me.

The greatest happiness in my life is that I can gently hold you to sleep every night and wake you up every morning. ...

Loving you is the most important thing in my day, thinking of you is the happiest thing in my day, watching you is the most enjoyable thing in my day, and loving and thinking of you is the thing I will do all my life.

Sign a couplet: menstrual belt is worn more and more every month, and condoms are secretly used to set me up.

A tadpole accidentally entered a woman's lower body while swimming, but soon committed suicide, leaving a suicide note: since entering this hole, it has been beaten by random sticks every day and besieged by the same kind. ...

The status quo of virgins: a group of people accidentally lost themselves, a group of criminals destroyed them, a group of emotional swindlers deceived them, a group of people went bankrupt through legal procedures, and a group of people stayed through the world of mortals.

A gentleman accidentally went to the ladies' room after getting drunk, and there happened to be a woman peeing. He poured the wine by mistake when he heard the noise. He was angry: who will pour if I say I don't drink? The woman was afraid to leave, but she farted. You're even angrier: you say you won't drink, so you won't drink. Who wants to open another bottle?

Break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

Someone farted on the bus. A coquettish woman spat, "bah-bah-bah-". A man said, what, you spit out your shell after eating fart? !

Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

Please don't look down, turn it off. There is really nothing to see. Come on, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it yourself-you are a pig!

I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

Welcome to the beautiful city calling station. Press 1 for local girls, 2 for oriental girls, 3 for western girls and 3 for gays. ............................................................................................................................

Instructions for jumping off a building: Go to the seventh floor, gasp to the sixth floor, struggle to the fifth floor, be disabled to the fourth floor, be hospitalized to the third floor, frighten to the second floor, and watch the excitement to the first floor.

Since ancient times, who has no shit and who doesn't use paper to shit? If you don't use toilet paper, are you using your fingers?

On that day, I quietly looked at your sexy body, twisted naked in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation and said, "boss, I want this fish."

That day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "We were born from the same root, so why fry each other!" "

First love, goodbye infatuation, worry all day long, want to win the heart, take great pains, want to rush the heart, don't you know my heart!

Three mice tasted the wines of the United States, Japan and China, respectively. The American wine dropped three levels, while the Japanese wine dropped two levels. China Erguotou raised his kitchen knife and shouted "fuck the cat!"

The boss didn't know that the front door zipper was open, and the female secret reminded: Your garage door is open. The boss is puzzled: Have you seen my BMW? Secretary: No, only two broken tires.

Lovers are crocodiles that can swallow you at any time; The secretary is a turtle, which tastes delicious but can't be tasted every day; Eldest sister-in-law is a goldfish, but she can't eat it. Wife is salted fish, how long will it take.

Men are in their twenties, thirty nights, forty weeks, fifty months, sixty years, seventy touches, eighty hugs, ninety thoughts and a hundred smiles!

I have eyes but I can't see your figure at any time. I have ears but I can't hear your voice at any time. I have hands but I can't hold you at any time. I have a heart that can miss you at any time.

If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will hug you tightly for 600 seconds; If there are only 3 minutes left in the world, I will give 180 seconds 1 kiss; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

Late at night, walking alone in the cold street, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, I really want to say loudly to you ... invite me to dinner?

Four ideals of men: money fell from the sky, and all the beautiful men in the world died. The beauty is out of her mind, crying for me to soak.

Urgent reminder: there will be a tornado in the southeast of our city at 9: 00 tomorrow morning. It is expected that there will be money and things such as mobile phones, banknotes and gold coins. Please be prepared to get rich.

The longer the wine, the more mellow it is, and the longer the friends meet, the more true it is; The water is getting clearer and clearer, and the vicissitudes of life are getting lighter and lighter. Happy every day, always in a good mood!

In order to get your delicious juice and body, I put my mouth close to your acupoint, kept sucking, and licked it with my tongue ... The wine snail tastes really good.

A father taught his daughter: when someone violates it, it says no, and when someone violates it, it says stop. One day, her daughter was attacked at the same time, just don't stop!

You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you are the gourd, I am the melon, you are the steak, I am the fork, and I am the thorn! I will insist! I will insist!

Closing your left eye means flirting, closing your right eye means agreeing, and you can do whatever you want.

Steamed bread and noodles fight, steamed bread was crying, so I went home and called Hua Juan steamed bread to get revenge. As a result, the instant noodles opened, and the steamed bread said, "You burned your head, I know you!" " "

10% persistent+10% missing+10% jealous+10% suspicious+10% sweet+10% distressed+10.

Just announced news: Starting from 0: 00 tomorrow morning, China Mobile will start to charge for mobile phones separately, and it will be free to answer the phone in the future! Unicom will also follow up in the near future.

Guess: All the birds flying by Swan Lake are extinct, so it is meaningless to walk in pairs. These two trees have nothing to do with the heart of the forest. If you don't want to fly first (type four words) ..................................................................................................................................................

Think of your smile when I get up, smell your smell when I wash my face, and you are my need before going to bed. I really can't forget you ... my dear toilet!

Do you like me? If you like me, press it again. You really like me! I pressed it when I said I liked it. Press it again! I didn't expect you to like me so much, so moved! Press again! I like you, too.

How many times have I told you to be careful not to go out at night, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

Want to see you, let me stare into your eyes. I want to hug you and let me warm your body. Want to kiss you, let me burn your lips. I want to love you, which makes me unforgettable.

You should take good care of yourself, don't have a cold and runny nose, and sneeze occasionally, which means I am thinking of you.

Read the following words and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2 million. These problems are as follows: the purpose of this is both.

There are three kinds of men who can't marry: newspaper editors-submitting articles every day; Send the newspaper-leave it at the door and leave; Copy water meters and meters-only once a month.

You always have a soft gun, a soft gun, and you touch yourself until dawn. It's always simple. Orgasm is too difficult. If you are in poor health, don't force it. ...

The first part: the person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Horizontal criticism: bad luck

Seeing your smile is the happiest thing in the world, seeing your tears is the most unforgettable thing in the world, seeing your anger is the most unforgettable thing in the world, but not seeing your information is the most pitiful thing in the world!

A wife is tasteless, a lover is too tired and a young lady is too expensive. Might as well have a reunion and break up a couple.

There is a tacit understanding called empathy, a feeling called wonder, a happiness called being with you, and a yearning called living like years.

At the peak of Spring Festival travel rush, the train was very crowded, so a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. The inspector at the bottom of the car found it and shouted: the fat man with the cigar pulled his head back.

Good luck and good luck to you, fat pig. Great body, as strong as a bear; Love is as sweet as a bee; Good luck is a dime a dozen; My career is booming, flying higher and higher like Dapeng.

A thunder woke Bush up in the middle of the night and shouted, "Quick, turn on the light!" " The bodyguard lit the candle tacitly. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, Bush hissed, "I'm all over Afghanistan."

A young woman engaged in literature wrote an article and asked the professor for advice. Professor: The first half of this article highlights two points and is very substantial. The middle is flat; The second half is short-tempered, and there are seven things to do and eight things to do!

Mary: Mom, I know why Dad's belly is so big! Mom: Why? Mary: Because every morning I see the maid desperately blowing a pipe under my father's stomach.

If you have a fart, you will hold your heart; Do not fart, exercise; I want to fart, everyone pay attention; Fart rang, everyone applauded.

You're so cute-poor nobody loves you, you're really nice-it's really not your fault. You are a genius-a born fool, and you are very temperamental-stingy and neurotic.

Tips for answering the phone for free: When there is an incoming call, press F, R, E, E before the third ring, and then press # to make the call for free and keep it confidential.

Men are playboys, they are tempted when they see beautiful women, and they cheat people with sweet words. Once they are in love, they are dirty, and then they change their minds after going to bed. It's fucking heartless.

The thief found all the jelly in the safe and ate it all in a fit of pique. The next day, the newspaper published a headline: Yesterday, the sperm bank was stolen and the sperm was looted. ...

One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said, fat is fat. Why are you wearing a belt?

Someone asked Anonymous: Is she a virgin? Female answer: yes, I gave birth to a child; Please, I'm not married. Let's call it a "place pair"

Riddle: Wedding night. Answer: Lin Chong, Shi Jin, Song Jiang, Ruan Xiaoer and Wu Yong.

One day, I was a guest at a beautiful woman's house. Later, when I left, I asked her what time it was, and she took off her coat and showed it to me. .............................................................................................................................

What do men want most from women? I want it. What do men fear most from women? (I want more)

It's not easy to say I love you. Send a message to express your feelings. If your heart is fluttering, can you reply to a short message?

The female secretary found the manager's trousers unzipped. "Manager, your garage door is open." "Did you see that car?" "I didn't see the car, but I saw the license plate number is 0 10."

Falling sky, where are you romantic? If you have a conscience, please come and invite me to dinner!

A Japanese team: Masao glans and Ichiro Kojiro are male players, and Mikawa Kuko and Kanejuno Kuko are female players. The referee is South Korean socio-economic tycoon Park Sung-sung.

Someone cares about you, someone protects you, someone cares about you, someone wants you to be happy, someone misses you all night, and he is the one who sends you a text message.

Donor: The underwear you are wearing today is not in good color. Please take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to ensure safety. Kindness is kindness.

Man: Why can't I always be right! Woman: I'll help you with my hands. Look, isn't this aimed? Ok, I'm clamping, you push! Wrong again. People cheered.

The sea is full of water! Good horse, it has four legs! Chili, it's really hot! Idiot read the message, it's grinning!

A farmer raised a row of pigs and one day found that one was missing. Looking for it for a long time, he couldn't find it. Finally, he found the pig hiding in the corner and reading the SMS!

If you love me, you can kiss me. If you don't love me, I will kiss you, okay ~ ~ ~

We filmed your one-night stand. If you don't want your wife to know, please get 654.38 million yuan in cash to redeem the goods within seven days, otherwise, ...

I was at a loss when I met you/panicked/your affectionate eyes/I couldn't avoid it/I understood your heart/I tried to avoid it/You followed me closely/I cried/Whose dog was it?

A man called a prostitute and rushed into the battlefield without asking the price. After entering, the prostitute proposed "50 in 50 out, 500 beats". After listening, the man asked him why, and replied: only 50, just enough to come in.

I miss you not because I am lonely, but because I miss you. The feeling of loneliness is so heavy, just because I think too deeply.

This morning in spring, I woke up easily, and sexual harassment was everywhere. The sound of the bed board at night turned the girl into a sister-in-law

I haven't seen you for a day/my eyes are straight and I have no strength/I have answered the phone three times/my limbs are cold and sweaty/my insides sigh/blame myself/I have an idea over time/I will wait for you before ten o'clock.

The little turtle was looking in the mirror, and suddenly he found that the mirror was full of words. Then he remembered: Oh! I used my mobile phone as a mirror by mistake!

Miss, the body is divided, the head is free, the top of the chest, the lower half, don't touch it ... very expensive!

The first time I saw you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

You flashed by, making my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I told myself, I can't let you leave again, and I will never … catch thieves again!

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

There are four tragedies in life: a long drought meets a sweet rain, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating a gold medal, dream.

The manager met a cleaning lady to clean the elevator. Woman worker: Manager, you go first and I'll tow it. Manager: You'd better stall me first. Several times, manager: you'd better drag me with you!

Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, I only got a pass in this life. If so, I am willing to exchange 10 thousand encounters with you.

Some people say that you are an ass, and I seriously criticize him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like.

A glass of wine helped her to think, and sparks flew from her eyes. She couldn't catch the cliff and held it in her arms. I can't understand hugs, but I have trouble in bed. When I was exhausted, she said I wanted more!

A couple had an affair. When the man touched the woman's private parts with his hand, she said anxiously, Ah! It's so comfortable ... but your ring hurts me. M: Hello! That's my watch.

A man and a woman were having a one-night stand when suddenly the woman got up from bed and ran to the kitchen to grab a handful of rice and sprinkled it on the man's nakedness: Hum! Go to raise chickens and come back.

Palm-sized city, two-finger wide door. The milkman went in, and the egg man knocked at the door outside.

I still can't understand your feelings. I only know my true feelings, that is, I like you so much!

A new overseas travel route, the seven-day tour of Afghanistan, was grandly launched: living in a cave, learning bomb-making and escape skills, and the lucky ones had the opportunity to take photos with bin Laden as a souvenir.

If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will recall the ups and downs with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

Pain is the best of others, and happiness is your own; Trouble will be temporary, but friends will last forever; Love is managed with care, and there is no major event in the world; I wish you happiness.

I miss your smile, your beauty, your noble temperament and charming taste. I can't forget your tenderness in my memory!

I'm happy and carefree. I'm really infatuated with you. I'm worried about you. I've been very sad. I dare not change my mind. Don't be suspicious. I'm worried about writing it, and I'm afraid you're careless.

The new five intimate relationships are: going to school together, going to the countryside together, carrying guns together, sharing stolen goods collectively and going whoring together.

The Tang Priest assigned work at the foot of the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, and Wukong went to find Shui Bajie. Why do you still have time to read short messages?" ! "

Don't look for grass in the sea when you go to work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

A recruit is practicing lurking in a tree. Two squirrels climbed up his trouser legs. Only one said, Boss, here are two big walnuts. Let's eat them.

If you were a flower, I would like to be that cow dung; If you are cow dung, I would like to be that fly. If you were a fly, I would like to make an egg with a seam. If you are an egg, I would like to make tea.

I wish you a fortune in the new year, set foot on Marlboro, have a career in Hongtashan, love your wife better than Ashima, and have financial resources all over Greater China.

I only hold your hand in this life. ...

The sea is full of fucking water, spiders, legs and peppers. It's too fucking hot. I don't regret knowing you. I wish you happiness and keep smiling every day!

Tip: Wrap the phone in zongzi leaves and cook it in a pot for 30 minutes. The standby time of the mobile phone battery will be doubled, the signal will be enhanced, and the smell of zongzi can be smelled on the phone.

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in the prize-winning network access activity in our city, with a bonus of 1 000 yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. Password: Don't move.

Give up what you should give up is helplessness, give up what you shouldn't give up is incompetence, don't give up what you should give up is ignorance, and don't give up what you shouldn't give up is persistence, so I insist with you.

You are a tree, I am a vine, and I am by your side; You are the lamp, I am the oil, and I consume you; You are a cake, I am a pot, and I brand you; You are tea, I am water, and I soak you.

There is a feeling that it has no beginning or result, but it occupies me all the time, and that is the feeling of missing you.

Please read the following poem aloud and seriously appreciate its artistic conception: dark stone green, dark stone powder, dark stone penetrating Chun Lv, dark stone penetrating Chun Zhu.

Seeing you, I am afraid of getting an electric shock; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power.

Send a message if you like, call if you like, and keep silent if you love me!

Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale fiercely, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

I love you and even die for you, but I can't die, not because I'm afraid of death, but because I'm afraid that no one will love you like me after I die!

Tongdisc: You've been in close contact with a great woman recently. You often flirt by texting. You send another message, hundreds of millions of China macho men are your enemies!

Laid-off women workers don't cry. There is a nightclub in front, not by the government but by the society. They have food, drinks and tips. Although we have no status, the mayor's secretary sleeps together.

Urgent notice: Polygamy will be resumed from now on, and those who remain monogamous two weeks later will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months but not more than three years, and will be heavily fined.

Idealism says, "I say you are a pig, and you are a pig." Materialism says, "Because you are a pig, I say you are a pig." In a word-you are a pig!

This is a well-designed short message. If you look at the phone upside down, you will appreciate the wonderful patterns. ....................................................................................................................................................

I can't hold back my feelings for you any longer. My parents are not here tonight. I'll take you to my room and turn off the lights. /TD & gt；

Interviewee: ly 12332 1- assistant level 31-2416: 45.

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Comments on the best answer

So much? Awesome!

Commentator: zrstz- Assistant Level 2

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Total of other answers 12.

Three worst things about going to a friend's house to shit.

1. There is no paper after defecation.

2. There is paper and no water after shit.

3. After shit, there is paper and water, and rush down. ........

But it came up again.

Respondent: 1. A wife who knows nothing-the first grade of probation11-1622:18.

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I know. Tell me your mobile phone number and I'll send it to you.

Responder: cold-blooded magician-trainee magician level 211-kloc-0/623: 51.

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