Unity of knowing and doing and the skill of knowing people

In my opinion, everyone knows and knows as one in infancy. When they think of something, they will react accordingly. Cry when you are hungry, eat when you are happy, laugh when you are happy, reach out when you want to hug, and push away when you hate it.

In fact, not only the brain and behavior are integrated, but also the behavior and body are integrated. The body includes the internal organs of the body and the external temperament, appearance and appearance. Remember the old saying? "The appearance before the age of 30 depends on parents, and the appearance after the age of 30 is from the heart." Including physiognomy in the Book of Changes and traditional Chinese medicine, are all the same.

So, in theory:

? Know =? Line = body

Concept = behavior = internal and external signs of the body

But why is it so difficult for people to integrate knowledge and practice when they grow up? In my opinion, there are two reasons.

First, knowledge is biased and knowledge is wrong.

The wrong understanding stems from the acceptance of many biased ideas in the growing environment. It is difficult and contrary to human nature to try to achieve the unity of knowledge and action in a biased concept. Although the world has invented all kinds of brilliant "techniques" to forcibly achieve the unity of knowledge and action, it is still difficult to do so. Even if these "technologies" have occasional effects, they only quench their thirst by drinking poison, without exploring the causes of the problems in essence and solving the fundamental problems. Therefore, in everyone's general cognition: "It is too difficult to combine knowledge with practice."

The difficulty of combining knowledge with practice here is unattainable. Therefore, if a person wants to change, he must first accept the concept of righteousness instead of the biased concept in the past. Otherwise, even if you promise to change again, you are just shouting slogans.

Second, knowledge is right, but it does not conform to the state.

If what you know is correct, but you don't respect your current state and will, and you want to achieve the unity of knowing and doing, it is more important to be strong in "doing". Where there is coercion, there is resistance, and time and energy are spent on consumption, so it is difficult to integrate knowledge with practice.

After all, life can't apply the same model, and there is no exactly the same life. If you know it correctly, you can respect your state and will, give yourself enough time and environment, and get twice the result with half the effort. Therefore, the unity of knowing and doing is based on its own true state. Truth is the key to understanding your state and will. The combination of hypocrisy and self-deception is a flash in the pan, even if it is done.

It is still very difficult to achieve the unity of knowledge and action by correctly understanding and conforming to your own state. But at this time, it is difficult to achieve the unity of knowledge and action, which is the difficulty of "everything is difficult at the beginning". The difficulties here can be eliminated through constant practice until practice makes perfect.

When studying the unity of knowing and doing, I saw a story about Wang Yangming:

Wang Yangming has a disciple who is an official. He wanted to learn the knowledge of the unity of knowing and doing, but he was usually busy with official business and worried that he would not learn well, so he asked Wang Yangming how to choose. Wang Yangming smiled and said to him, "When did I say that you should put down your official duties and listen to my lectures? My knowledge is practical and needs to be tempered in things. When you solve a case, you won't be angry because of the rudeness of the prisoner, you won't be happy because of his ingratiation, you won't lose your mind because of his pleading, and you won't be perfunctory because of the complexity of your own affairs. Always pay attention to your own ideas and correct them at any time. This is the art of knowing and doing. "

During our nine months in Dali, I took this passage seriously. For example, the concept of "no distraction from beginning to end" is the fourth family rule in our family. How do we constantly implement and practice together in our lives?

The first is to sort out "knowledge", which is both an idea.

I told my children why we should not be distracted by the beginning and the end. I asked her, "Sweets, how would you feel if your father promised you one thing and was distracted from doing something else?" Without thinking, sweets said, "He is unreliable." "Then will you believe what he said in the future?" I keep asking. She shook her head and replied, "Not necessarily." I nodded: "So, if you are distracted while doing something, you don't respect what you are doing and the person you are facing;" Second, it will lose the efficiency and quality of doing it; Third, it may bring danger to yourself or others; Fourth, it will damage your integrity and self-confidence. On the contrary, if you don't pay attention to things, you can form a good habit of focusing on people. It will also develop the excellent quality of "everything has an explanation, everything has a landing, and everything has an echo". Do everything with your heart, and you won't regret it later. You will also gain patience, integrity, responsibility and self-confidence. "

I see. Next, I will use things in my life as examples to tell my children what we should do. For example, when eating, you can't watch mobile phones, TV, etc. This is an interference to eating, and it is also a disrespect to the family members who cook. For example, take melon seeds out of the cupboard and sit at the table to eat them. After eating, you should not only throw out the melon seeds, clean the utensils containing the melon seeds, clean the desktop, but also clean the dirty ground and put the unfinished melon seeds back in their original places. For example, if you turn on the lights in any room at night and don't plan to go back immediately after coming out, you need to turn off the lights in the room.

Then in our later life, we will practice from these small and trivial things in life, and gradually develop a good habit of looking around after finishing one thing and checking whether there are any omissions. In this way, it extends to work, friends and society, and constantly practices the unity of the concept and behavior of "having a head and a tail without distraction" to achieve the unity of knowing and doing.

In addition to this family rule, there are actually three other family rules.

1. Don't lie if you don't tell enough. You can say nothing, but you have to tell the truth, not lie, not even white lies.

Harvest: We learned to express truthfully; True expression brings sincerity and a better understanding of yourself; The more you know yourself, the more you respect yourself; Self-esteem brings self-love; Self-love has learned to understand, to love others and to love the world.

2. Nothing but family. In addition to family members, you can't make any demands on outsiders, and you can't beat about the bush.

Harvest: get rid of some robber thinking, don't take advantage of small things, and don't hurt yourself and others for selfish desires. For myself and my family, I have gained independence, strength and inner strength, and my moral conduct has gradually become heavier; To outsiders, there is no weakness that can be caught.

3. Make a mistake and bear it bravely. If you make a mistake, you can't avoid the problem and pass it on to others. You must face it bravely.

I have gained the ability to reflect and summarize, the courage to face problems, and the responsibility and responsibility.

At first, Tian Tian would cheat, quibble and escape from what she had done wrong.

That time, I didn't give Xiaohua any explanation because I didn't finish Xiaohua's small pen exercise. When I communicated with her about this problem, I explained it to her first, but she rambled to find the reason and didn't face up to the problem. At that time, she suddenly thought my eyes were strange. It's like ... she's a sly little animal. I want her to face this problem, but she looks around for opportunities to escape. So I "stepped forward and blocked this little animal in the corner" and forced her to face it. I told her: "This matter is not over, we will do nothing, including eating and drinking water." . Then, we scolded each other silently for almost two hours until she started talking to me about this problem. At that moment, she changed from a cunning little animal to a human being. It was also after that that the child's attitude began to change. She will face problems and mistakes calmly, adjust and correct them immediately, and will not escape or cheat.

Gradually, she gained my respect and respect.

In this way, my children and I started from being unskilled to practicing faster and faster; From habitual evasion when facing problems to courage to take responsibility and reflect when encountering mistakes; It is the main theme of our nine-month life that we analyze the reasons together, refine our ideas and correct each other's behaviors.

It is precisely because of the continuous practice of these four family rules that the sweetness becomes stronger. From "Britney Spears" when I first came to Dali to growing up now, I went to "Big Sweets" in the direction of "Big Potatoes".

Big, not tall, not fat. It is reflected in the concept, self-demand and the ability to integrate knowledge and action, so the internal strength is great. The greater the inner strength, the more self-disciplined, the more stable and the more active people. Therefore, we don't need the control of others, and we don't need all kinds of time management methods to force ourselves.

Small, not height and figure, not skinny. It is reflected in the weak ability of concept, self-demand and integration of knowledge and practice, so the internal strength is small. The less inner strength, the less self-discipline, the easier it is to change and the more passive the behavior. In order to achieve the goal of self-discipline, I will learn various methods to force myself. And coercion will eventually lead to rebound, and the time and intensity of rebound are directly proportional to the time and intensity of coercion.

At dinner tonight, sweets chatted with me: "Mom, when I was watching some programs, I found that my thoughts were different from many people." I guess the answer to this story more easily than other children. "I am very happy:" That's because children at this stage stand taller and see farther than them. This is the benefit of our practice in life this year. "She added," But if you stand too high, it will hurt more when you fall! " I put down my chopsticks and looked at her and smiled: "Then guess, why do you start practicing from the little things in life?" She blurted out, "Stop falling!" I looked at her and nodded approvingly, and then she said, "Hey, did I just say that?" I laughed: "Yes, you're right, you react as quickly as a conditioned reflex. Practice from the little things in life is to lay a solid foundation and avoid any possibility of falling. This kind of time-consuming and labor-intensive practice also makes you unconsciously give birth to wisdom and enhance your understanding. "

Not only that, we also learned "human knowledge" by accident.

For example, more than a month after I moved to Dali this year, a monk moved next door. When I first met him, I found that his facial features were oblique, with half his face high and half his face low. Then he met me and asked me, "Who do you live with?" Suddenly I feel that the other person is frivolous and wary of him. Later, when I passed by his door, I could smell the smell of not washing clothes and taking a bath for a long time; The sink in his kitchen is piled with unwashed bowls and food, which will last for a week and so on.

By observing the behavior and results of monks, I first corrected the biased concept in the past. Before, in my cognitive concept, I would easily believe that monks, teachers, soldiers' brothers and so on all have their own aura. Reflecting on this concept has caused me losses and injuries in the past. I realized that the correct concept should be: occupation is occupation, being a man is a man, and occupation is not equal to being a man. There will be differences in dealing with people in industries with professional aura. So by observing his "behavior", I know what stage his "knowledge" is and judge his current conduct. Finally, I will take his question as a mirror for my reflection. To reflect on whether the same problem exists in your life. If there is, I will face and admit the past problems, and then think about which direction to modify in the future.

For example, if a single woman is proposed by her partner. Judging from her understanding of him, he has no intention of taking care of himself, does not want to live a good life, and only wants to work to make money. Then no matter how he promises to "live seriously after marriage and take good care of her and her children", don't choose to believe it.

Because in his concept, making money is more important than himself, and money has the highest position in his values ranking. If you form a family with such a person, he will turn the unit of measurement into "money". Looking at his family, he will think that a good family is a family environment that can provide him with "more money" without worrying about him; He looked at his wife, children and people around him, and felt that people who can make money are valuable, and learning the skills to make money is useful. Then, no matter how busy his wife is at home, he will feel worthless and will not understand and understand. When facing children, he will not respect their hobbies and ideals, and he will think that like him is the right way. Such people are selfish and narrow-minded, and even break the rules or hurt others in order to satisfy their own desires.

Therefore, when his mind has not changed, any of his promises are just slogans. His occasional correct behavior is only a temporary compromise, which won't last long. If girls learn this skill of recognizing people, they can see more deeply and further in choosing objects and avoid many problems after marriage.

For example, if you see a child who can run a red light, you know that his family can also run a red light. The concept of running a red light is based on no principle, so it doesn't follow the rules; Based on impatience and anxious results, so regardless of the process and so on. If his family intends to reach a cooperation with me, I will refuse.

But this skill is not everything.

So I said to Tian Tian: "This ability to recognize people can tell how the other person's thoughts, personality and characteristics are, but not." For example, what do you want to eat now, what do you want to do and so on. Even the person who knows you best is not a worm in your stomach, so communication is particularly important. "

Understand that behavior is the external expression of ideas, body is the main body of behavior, and it is the link between behavior and ideas, and then understand the logic of understanding people. This is also the meaning of "combining exterior and interior" in traditional Chinese medicine. Internal changes will bring external changes.

Since ancient times, people have said that people who steal things will have a pointed mouth and a monkey face and thin limbs; People with narrow shoulders lack sense of responsibility; Some people know that she is clever by her appearance. People have many characteristics, which is also an important basis for fortune telling.

For example, watching a person walk in front. If he is overweight and his feet are everted (the inside is on the ground and the soles of his feet are outward), then his pace is too large, which is beyond the normal proportion. I know that the other person is a person with an urgent personality, and his heart is difficult to calm down and his foundation is unstable. He often exceeds his ability, and his thinking is often flawed.

For another example, when Tian Tian first came to Dali, she was very thin, like a small tree trapped. But nine months later, her life now has more room for growth, and her heart is stronger. Even if I eat less now, the food is not as good as before, but my figure is full and full of elasticity. Just like every cell in her body has room to breathe, full of vitality and strength.

But many people will find these things mysterious because of the concept of the universe. Therefore, I can only suggest that when my ideas change, I should pay more attention to observing what has happened to my body.

The ability to learn and practice the unity of knowledge and practice is also the process that Xiu De nourishes his mind in his daily life. With countless experiences and experiences, I understand that body and behavior are the external manifestations of ideas. At the same time, the feedback from the body has become a mirror for Xiu De to nourish his mind.

Based on this, human knowledge is omnipotent. Whether the other person is out of true conduct, whether it is because of self-reliance and cleverness, whether it is learning the routines and cleverness of dealing with people, or using clever camouflage to cover it up, this skill of knowing people can tear off the mask of the other person from the details of observation, communication and contact, and show the real concept and face of the other person.

In the final analysis, only by verifying ideas with actions and results can we distinguish between true and false, right and wrong, good and bad.

Wang Yangming said: "It is easy to be a thief in Pingshan, but difficult to be a thief in Xin Ping." Therefore, he believes that treating the heart is the fundamental means. And the heart is rational, and the heart is a concept.

From the unity of knowing and doing in practice, we can naturally understand the nature of mind and see human nature clearly.

Text |? Photo | Photography | Cocoa

Thought Instructor | Wang Qi (Qi)