3 1 year-old leftover woman: What hurts me most is not the gossip of outsiders, but the soft knife of my parents. what do you think?

People, when they reach a certain age, the first problem they face must be getting married.

Even in the eyes of many parents, compared with this incident, all other problems seem to be no longer a problem.

Even if you think you are not married, you are still fighting for your life. But in the eyes of parents, this kind of struggle is often meaningless.

Because in the eyes of the previous generation, no matter what kind of business you are going to start, the word "marriage" will always rank first.

Chatting with an unmarried girl at the age of 3 1, she spoke her mind anxiously.

She said that in fact, the older you get, the less you care about your feelings.

Probably because I have seen too many relationships around me that I can't be faithful to my life, and there are still many feelings that I fell in love with from the beginning and stayed in the same spirit in the end. I cann't believe she's starting to believe in fate

Fate's fiddling, sometimes like an invisible hand, pulls everyone's life.

As Tao Jie said in a passage:

When you are old, when you look back on your life, you will find that when you study abroad, when you decide to take your first job, when you choose to fall in love alone, and when you get married, it is actually a huge change of fate. It's just that you were standing at a fork in the road and saw the wind and clouds. The day you made your choice was quite dull and ordinary in your diary. At that time, you thought it was an ordinary day in your life.

When she was 3 1 year old, she recalled her years and inexplicably gave birth to a sense of destiny.

She said that she is introverted, does not like to communicate with people, looks ordinary, works ordinary, and everything is the most ordinary.

Many people, when they learned that she was not married at the age of 3 1, the first reaction was that she was too picky. In fact, she had accepted her own ordinary.

Where can such a person choose?

In fact, if too many people better than her are with her, she will feel uncomfortable and unnatural.

However, not picking doesn't mean you don't ask for anything.

She went to college in general, and her work was not so outstanding, but at least she worked hard, was gentle and kind, and did nothing bad in her life. Her girlfriends call her Yi Shi IKEA.

She just wants to find an ordinary person, like her, to disappear from the crowd.

When two people are together, they can have the same topic to talk about, at least they have love in their hearts, not completely make do.

If it's really casual, she thinks this life is meaningless.

But really suitable people are hard to find.

Later, she comforted herself that her mother told her fortune in high school and once said that she needed to get married late to be happy.

At first, she didn't believe it. Later, when the road to love was not smooth, the more she began to believe this assertion.

This conclusion also coincides with her beginning to believe in fate.

Therefore, she still has expectations in her heart.

Sometimes, she will think, even if she can't meet love in this life, she must go on happily alone, and then try to become the dependence of her parents.

She hopes that as parents, she can understand herself and not support them, but at least she will stand in her position and not force her to do something they don't want to do.

But contrary to expectations, this is the generation gap between the two generations, and each generation has its own experiences and ideas.

Just when she didn't understand, a young aunt in her family was extremely unhappy in marriage. She was betrayed by her husband, who called her to the hospital. She is still not divorced, but she often comes to her mother to cry about the hardships of life.

It's just her sister-in-law, but it's the most powerful one to urge her to get married.

She would think, "Don't you think my aunt's life is like this, all because she met the wrong person?" Why do you have to urge me to get married? "

She said that as long as someone introduced her at home, her aunt thought boys were good and asked her to contact as many people as possible.

Even if she has said it, let alone other requirements, boys should at least go to college like her, and at least have the same language.

She doesn't think this request is too much, because she really didn't ask the other party to have a car and a house, nor did she ask for a high bride price. The money she has saved now is almost enough for the down payment.

She is very frugal and has always had this plan: if she can meet him, he has a house and money is a dowry; If there is no room, two people can buy it together.

But her sister-in-law still said that she is demanding, reading so many books is not necessarily useful, and honesty is the most important.

She didn't want to argue, and then her aunt and her mother were left to nag.

And her mother, always under the aunt's ear, began to feel inexplicable anxiety.

There is no doubt that her parents must love her very much, and she loves her parents very much.

Because of this, she doesn't have to care about other people's comments, but she can't ignore her parents' concern.

Her parents did not explicitly ask her to get married, nor did they urge her to get married. Just falling into the details will often hurt her unconsciously.

For example, one weekend, she was talking to her mother on the phone, and her mother suddenly gave a particularly sad "sigh". She asked what happened.

Mother said, "I don't know when you will get married." I wonder if I can wait until the day when I have grandchildren. "

Including her father, when she says one thing, she will inexplicably mention the fact that she is not married, with a sigh in her tone, and she feels that she can have grandchildren in her life.

They're just conveying their parents' concerns.

However, these fall into her eyes, which will make her feel sad and guilty and think that it is wrong for her parents to worry about her age.

This guilt even exceeds the anxiety caused by her not getting married.

She didn't take this seriously, but her parents' attitude became the key to her inner anxiety.

Because their starting point is based on love. So these words of parents, like "soft knives", hurt her most, not the gossip of outsiders.

On the other hand, she still doesn't want to get married on a blind date.

What is leisure?

She gave an explanation: "I know a netizen, a girl, who got married at the age of 32, but was also urged by her family to get married quickly." They don't even know each other. The man's male chauvinism is serious, and her heart also rejects this relationship. The days passed and she divorced in less than two years. "

No matter what it is, when you enter the marriage relationship, you don't have any expectations at all, but you just give up like completing a task.

In this case, two people naturally have a hard time.

Many people, at a certain stage, have chosen to compromise, but in the end, it is found that this compromise is also temporary.

The last flow of life is still a kind of stubbornness that follows the initial heart, so after taking a detour, I will continue to look back and stick to my heart.

Once, I read a passage: No matter what choice you make in life, there are joys and sorrows, advantages and disadvantages, and mixed feelings. Maybe at some point, I will feel "the world is not worth it." However, if you are happy most of the time, it proves that your choice is right.

Do you think marriage is a lifelong necessity?