Strong brother fortune telling _ forced fortune telling

First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "Sixty years of hard work. I have no food to eat. I never throw my booger. " .

Second, there is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich sent them away. Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

A man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman. "What can I do for you?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper." Enough talking on the mobile phone, the phone keeps ringing. Meet late, no regrets. I want to say goodbye and feel sad. I must miss you forever! Ha ha ha ~ ~ Is it fun? "

A middle-aged woman without children asked the doctor, "If you can't have children, will it be inherited?"

The two men stood face to face, undressed and worked hard, sweating all over for a seam. -Ha ha! Play an activity, forget it! _ They are sawing wood!

Someone in the desert wants that, so they pull the female camel dizzy. When I woke up, I found a beautiful woman who was ashamed: I'll give you anything you want! Man: Can you help me pull the camel down?

"Why did you break off your engagement with Mr. Zhang? We went to see a fortune teller yesterday. The fortune teller said I would have two children, but he said I would have four. With whom? "

Break up! I used to possess you, and I got the satisfaction of venting on you, but now I really want to leave you, and I will come back to find you ... toilet if necessary.

Judge: "Madam, in this way, you are really unfaithful to your husband." "oh! It is my husband who is unfaithful to me. " Madam, "he said he would be away on business for a week, but he would be back on the third day."

Barry: I seem to be in love with a dog. Fairy: What? A male dog? Barry: Of course it's a bitch! You think I'm a pervert?

Do you know me? I can't live without you. For you, I hanged myself with noodles, started with tofu, cut my veins with cotton swabs, hit the wall with bumper cars and jumped off the building with parachutes!

The tortoise and the snake go to the park with only one ticket. The tortoise was entangled in his neck by a snake. When entering the park, the eagle who cut the ticket said, stop. Both the tortoise and the snake were very flustered. The eagle said disdainfully, Look at your tortoise, still wearing a tie!

In order to prevent the spread of carbuncle fever in China, the Ministry of Public Security recently issued a regulation that women are not allowed to use any kind of powdery cosmetics, and all of them use paint as a substitute.

A young woman engaged in literature wrote an article and asked the professor for advice. Professor: The first half of this article highlights two points and is very substantial. The middle is flat; The second half is short-tempered, and there are seven things to do and eight things to do!

Miss, the body is divided, the head is free, the top of the chest, the lower half, don't touch it ... very expensive!

Oh ... my god ... honey ... I can't stand it ... it's too wet ... it itches ... it's all out! Come on, help me .. I need you to dry the pus from Hong Kong's foot. ..

According to authoritative statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads read short messages with thumb buttons! Hey, hey, don't change hands! It's too late, pig hahaha .....

The 80-year-old man will marry a young girl. Doctor: According to the medical report, you are in good health. Now I want to check your sexual function. I saw the old man sticking out his tongue and fingers. ...

A woman went to see a gynecologist with a stomachache. The doctor said to her, "Please take off your pants." Nothing happened. The doctor urged her again. Women are still shy when they want to talk. "You ...................................................

A man went whoring, and his left testicle turned blue a few days later-the doctor diagnosed it as testicular cancer! Excision-a few days later, the right testicle is blue! Then cut it off! Three days later, my little brother turned green and I had to go to a big hospital. Finally, my underwear faded!

A beautiful lady asked her boyfriend, "What are you thinking?" "Just like you!" "Hum! You are so dirty. If you really dare to do that, I will scream!

In the park, an employee saw the director taking a walk with his grandson, and quickly bowed and said, it's not easy for you to become the director's grandson at such a young age!

"The doll is body double in childhood, the photo is body double in memory, the alcohol is body double forgotten, the cigarette is body double alone, the coffee is body double calm, the tears are body double sad, and the braised pork is body double forever!

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplar can. Not every idiot can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations! :)

Once when the monastery rectified the nun's style, the old nun said to the little nun, "Don't yell when you ride down the mountain, and I will order you to install all your bicycle seats!"

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived!

When Brother Qiang took a chicken on the bus, there were so many people that he accidentally ran under a girl's skirt. Brother Qiang said urgently, Miss, can you spread your legs and let me take out the chicken?

A girl named Wang Ying received a letter one day. Her name is Wang Ying. She called the screenwriter and shouted, you are so stupid. Where is the bird below me? It's obviously a mouth?