How do you know if your ex-boyfriend has a girlfriend?

The first is a defense mechanism of classical psychoanalysis, which means that the reason why we want to see if the other party has another girlfriend may be because we need such an answer and need the other party to have another girlfriend to stimulate the answer. This is the traditional psychoanalytic perspective. This is your subconscious thought, and you are deliberately looking for the answer to this question. The perspective of classical psychoanalysis is a bit like what we said in logic. A is -A and A is -A, so this perspective is very simple.

Second, does your boyfriend have another girlfriend? There are three possibilities. When you haven't determined any possibility, these three possibilities coexist. This is a bit like the classical theory in quantum physics-"Schrodinger's cat". What he means is that cats may have several states: alive, dead and uncertain. Similarly, there are three possibilities for the current problem.

The first possibility is that he has no other girlfriend, and he only has your girlfriend; The second possibility is that he has another girlfriend with you, and the third possibility is that you don't know whether the answer is A or B, so you will be in an uncertain answer.

The first question I want to ask is what kind of answer do you want?

Next, I will ask you, where will your current behavior lead this matter? The reason why I ask this question is to guide this classmate to think from a dynamic perspective, that is, what we want is history, this moment or the future.

Maybe your boyfriend has another girlfriend, maybe you are the only girlfriend now, but I'm not sure if there will be another girlfriend in the future. Do you want to know the past, present or future?

I think we need a more intelligent perspective at this time, which means that we may never know a person's true past and history. If we want to determine whether he has other girlfriends, we may eventually force him to really go out and find other girlfriends.

Third, there is another angle to this problem. The student said that her boyfriend attracted her not only because she was handsome, but also because she was most worried that the boy was her first love. After years of separation, they met again and resumed their love relationship. Lacan's psychoanalysis says that we are always attracted by a feeling, which points to a desire. It means that what we really pursue is not this person, but the feeling when we are with him. If that's the case, then the purpose of my being with him now is to reproduce the feeling of being together in those days.

If you live with this boy under this goal, what will happen? If so, you will be very disappointed, because you want to reproduce the feeling of that year, because the two people now have different ideas, values and economic status from their first love, so it is basically impossible for us to find the same feeling when we meet again after years of separation. This kind of thinking is a wish at first, which can't be realized, so this kind of thinking will hinder you from truly achieving happiness.

No matter how good that boy was to you, everyone has changed, and everyone should move on. Maybe you will meet better in the future. Come on!