Joke books read by the ancients —— Excerpt from Laughter in the Woods (Volume V)

A man from Hangzhou has three sons-in-law, and the third man is stupid. One day, my father-in-law bought a new horse and asked three husbands to praise it. Need to describe the horse's rapidity, written derivation, informal. Brother-in-law said, "Jin Baihe is on the water. Husband rode to Shanyin and rode back and forth. Jin Baihe has not sunk yet. " Zhang Yue praised it. The second son-in-law said, "Put goose feathers on the fire. My husband rode to Yuyao and rode back and forth, and the goose feathers were not burning. " It's the third husband's turn again, and the idiot pondered for a long time, but he still didn't find it. Suddenly his mother-in-law blew a fart, and the idiot said, "Yes. Mother-in-law farts, and father-in-law rides to Zhuji; Riding and riding, the Confucius door is still open. "

Grandfather paid Sun Gan to buy soy sauce vinegar. Sun went back and asked, "Where is the money for soy sauce?" That money to buy vinegar? " Zu said, "One point for soy sauce and one point for vinegar. Buy separately, why not ask? " He moved and turned to ask, "Which bowl is filled with soy sauce? Is that vinegar in the bowl? " Zu angered his dementia and blamed it. Yuko comes in and asks why. When the ancestors told him, the son took off his hat and whipped his hair. Father said, "Are you crazy?" Confucius said, "I am not crazy. You hit my son. Can't I hit your son? "

People who are afraid in their hearts are all ill with accumulated worries. One spits red sputum and the other spits green sputum, because he went to see a doctor for treatment. The doctor said: "red phlegm out of the lungs is still treatable; Green phlegm comes from the gallbladder meridian and is incurable. It's okay to go back to the funeral. " Asked about the cause of gallbladder, the man said to him, "I was frightened, and my gallbladder was broken, so I spit green phlegm." Since my gallbladder is broken, how can I treat it? "

Those who are afraid of the inside, who want to visit their kind, worship ten brothers. There are nine people in the city, and one is still missing, so I will go out to visit them. Seeing a man pushing out the toilet, everyone said in unison, "This must be my generation." Seeing each other's visit, the man waved his hand and said, "I am not the first outside the city, and the tenth in your city."

When a soldier is afraid to stay inside, he will be scarred. His colleague said, "Why should a man who gives orders to the altar be ashamed of being controlled by a woman?" He said, "Because of weakness, I can't afford to rectify it for a while." My colleague said, "All soldiers with swords can help my brother. When he growled, Sergeant Shilin dressed up and stood on both sides with guns and halberds, and then he refused. He is afraid of military power and dares not surrender! " Be obedient, and the team is set up, and the bows and arrows are opened. When his wife saw it, she shouted loudly, "What do you want to do by pretending like this?" When I heard this, I was scared. I knelt down and said, "No other meaning. Please ask grandma to go to the teaching field to exercise. "

People who are afraid of their wives will suddenly lose confidence in their dreams. The wife woke up and said, "What did you dream? Are you proud of it?" The husband couldn't hide it and said, "I dream of marrying a concubine." The wife was furious, so she knelt under the bed and got up to look for her wand. The husband said, "The dream is false, so how can it be a real thing?" The wife said, "You are allowed to have other dreams, but you are not allowed to have such dreams." The husband said, "Just don't do it in the future." The wife said, "How do I know if you do it in your dream?" The husband said, "In that case, wait until dawn every night and don't dare to sleep again."

The son-in-law has a silly name. My uncle pointed to the pole in front of the door and asked, "What's the use of this thing?" The son-in-law said, "The tree is big, but it is built in turn." My uncle was very happy and said, "People are stupid when they speak." When I came to the kitchen, I saw that the sauce was ground and the basin was beaten. My husband said, "When this basin grows up, the stone mortar can be made." My mother-in-law blew a fart, and my husband replied, "If this fart is bigger, you can do it."