Fortune Telling Collection - Comprehensive fortune-telling - 50 points! Ask for a sketch or crosstalk script about emotions, sadness and fear.

50 points! Ask for a sketch or crosstalk script about emotions, sadness and fear.

Crosstalk "Emotion and Health"-Ma,,

M: Let me introduce myself. My name is Ma and his name is Ma. Because we are old, we seldom have the opportunity to perform this program. He works as a teacher in the Quyi Troupe, and I work as a consultant in the Quyi Troupe ... In fact, no one cares or asks. Seventy-two years old this year, the destination next year-seventy-three, eighty-four! The artistic level is very low. I have been talking about cross talk for 58 years. Compared with young and middle-aged actors, my technical and artistic level is very poor. I should learn from young and middle-aged actors. I also have this concern-you can't say that you can compete with others, but you can't sing, you can't speak, and your voice is terrible ... I'm sorry that you have become like this ... I'm ashamed. Really, I never thought I would look like this. Actually, I was fine when I was a child. ...

Wang: What about you?

Ma: I was beautiful when I was a child ... and I haven't changed much-I'm not shorter than others when I stand, and I'm not shorter than others when I lie. I have no skills at all. I'm so old ... You said you would? I've been thinking about this myself-what should I do? Retired? The leader does not recognize it; Nobody wants to change jobs ... where do you want to go? Have you considered what you can do? You can't change careers ... you can be a cadre, but you can't be a cadre-the level is too low; Change industries? Poor culture; How about being a worker? As a laborer, without skills and skills, you can't and can't do anything, and you have no strength to work; What do you mean ... when? ..... as a shop assistant? I don't know the scale Do something else, when and what? ..... as a wife, and a man!

Wang: Hello!

M: I always wanted to know ...

Wang: Why do you always think about this?

M: I'm really not as good as you

Wang: What are you like me?

Ma: You are better than me-you have a good culture and a good spirit. We should all thank you. The three of us owe you.

Wang: Oh, thanks to me.

M: One part of spirit is one part of happiness! Huh? Right?

Wang: Yes!

Who said that?

Wang: Everyone says so!

What do you think of me? I-what about this spirit?

Wang: You are in good spirits.

Hey, look, how's it going?

Wang: OK-monkey! Like a monkey!

M: I tell you, I'm afraid of this. Don't say that-I'm not interested in comparing people to monkeys. What do you think of my spirit?

Wang: Spirit ... Good!

How is your health? What about you?

Wang: Than me? Almost.

Man: What's worse than you? Stand forward, stand forward!

Wang: Not at all.

Man: What am I worse than you? Oh-oh-? Why don't you let everyone tell me how inferior I am to you?

Wang: Oh, what? You mean bigger, heavier and thinner? Specific gravity? Than color? Everything is better than you.

Ma: Fat? Are you meat? It's useless. What do you think-thick meat, fat meat, fat meat? Nobody wants it-whoever lines up in the morning will take the ribs one by one!

Wang: OK, here comes the meat!

Do you know that sentence? What is the sentence?

W: What do you think?

M: There is a saying-"Money is hard to buy ..." What?

Wang: Oh-"Money is hard to buy, and old age is hard to lose weight".

M: Yes! You got it? Oh! It's over. Do you have to tell me? Everyone knows that "money is hard to buy old and thin"!

Wang: As we all know, you are too thin? ! There are too few thin people like you.

Ma: Less is less. What will you do to me?

Wang: What can I do for you?

Oh, less, less. The less, the more expensive!

W: What's expensive is less?

Ma: Less! Unpopular goods, too much is worthless.

Wang: OK, this is a high-end product.

Ma: Don't look thin. You should be energetic. The thin man faded, his eyelids could not be lifted, his head drooped, and the aisle was tired. That's terrible. "Thin is thin, cold is cold, cold is unusual, thin is spirit, cold is invisible, and cold is loneliness." Where are these four sentences? Thin people are nice, you know? Don't you understand? Let me tell you something.

Wang: What are the benefits of talking about it?

Horse: Thin people have good internal organs. Thin people have less fat and less stress in their hearts. Thin people have another feature: thin people have good functions and strong digestion; Thin people have slow metabolism. If this animal has a slow metabolism, it must live long and be strong. You don't understand this.

Wang: Oh!

Ma: Thin people have another advantage-thin people don't like getting sick. Thin people should also pay attention to the same thing. Thin people need to sleep more, fat people don't need to sleep more, thin people should master this sleep well. Don't eat too much at ordinary times, always keep eight full, eat more meals and less meals, four times a day, so as to eat more nutritious and high-grade nutrients. ...

Wang: In your opinion, is it better to be thinner?

M: Of course. No ... Hey, hey, people who are not fat, don't say that! That's not right, oh-thin people are good, but fat people are not? People who are not fat are stronger and healthier … when you get up in the morning, you can see that fat old man in his eighties is exercising on the road and in the park. You ask, "Grandpa, how old is he?" "Eighty-four!" I have a big belly and my face is covered with meat. I am still walking there. I'm not sick. Not all fat people are bad-all fat people have high blood pressure? Don't have this superstition and worry, oh, fat people are paraplegic? Does the fat man have uremia? That's not true. No ... No ... Fat people ... No ... There are fat people under the stage, right? Don't have this mental burden. Fat people are stronger and don't get sick. Don't be afraid, live your life! It doesn't matter.

Wang: Hello! Do you have to tell me?

M: I'm afraid they are all afraid. In fact, I was very fat when I was a child-I.

Wang: You? !

Ma: I was very fat when I was a child-round arms and legs, little fatty, everyone loved me, and I was very fat. No one can hold me, my little arm is so strong that my leg is ruined.

Wang: Then how did you lose weight?

Ma: I was fat when I was a child, but I lost weight when I grew up. Sick-when I was four years old, I went to the hospital, had an operation, and suffered a lot of bleeding, so ... I couldn't slow down, but my fortune teller saved it and I lost weight. ...

Wang: What's the matter? What's so serious? Still in surgery, still bleeding, still in surgery? What's the matter?

Ma: Hi-hemorrhoids.

Wang: Can a four-year-old child get hemorrhoids? !

Ma: Hey-hemorrhoids are not old!

Wang: Hi, I haven't heard of it. So what?

Ma: Live a hundred years without hemorrhoids-over 70 years without hemorrhoids? You lived in vain. We've had it since we were kids. Do you want it? Hemorrhoids, for you?

Wang: No, no, no, I don't want it!

Ma: Don't look fat. You are not necessarily better than me. Do you accept it?

W: Yes, I'm not tired at all.

Man: Oh! -Are you willing to bear fruit?

Wang: Yes, everyone wants to be strong.

M: Do you want to be healthy?

W: Yes.

M: Come to me, come to me, I'll teach you, you … you knock me.

Wang: I want to detain you? I will lock you up. Lock you up? How can I detain you?

Ma: Knock, kowtow and kowtow to the teacher.

Wang: I'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow is a ...

Man: You are my apprentice, I teach you, you learn from me, you come to my place regularly, and that's it-two months, after two months, you can-that's it for me.

Wang: Two months later ... it ... became like your silver lamp? All these skeletons? My clothes no longer fit me, do they?

M: It doesn't matter if the clothes don't fit. You can create new ones, create new ones.

W: No need. I don't want to go to your place or learn from you. Living like this is good for me.

Man: You can't do this, just pay! That's it!

W: What do you mean, pay only?

M: You can make do with it. You are not healthy.

Wang: What's wrong with me? What is more unhealthy than you?

M: What about you? You can't compete with me at all.

Wang: Nothing can compare with you. Is it?

M: Yes-on the fifth floor, I can connect directly to the fifth floor without breathing, and I can connect directly to the fifth floor without breathing. Can you do it?

Wang: I can't

M: When you get to the second floor, you must have a rest. I've been squatting and standing for dozens of times, and I'll never faint;

Wang: Oh, healthy.

M: I am over seventy years old. My teeth are not short. I have 32 teeth. I have no false teeth.

W: Yes-yes-yes? All right.

Ma: I always have to cut my hair very thin-there is too much hair to take off; Can you do it?

Wang: I can't do anything.

M: I don't care. I can touch the ground. Can you do it? Why don't you try?

Wang: I can't

Ma: I can smell my feet after washing them!

Woman: Wow? Still have this ability?

Ma: Many young people can smell their feet. ..... You smell your own feet?

Wang: I can't smell it.

M: I can't smell it ..... smell me?

Wang: No, no, no leg lifts, turn back!

Ma: You should plan to be healthy, live a long life, be healthy, learn or not, pay attention to and remember that exercise is the same as before-exercise, get up early, breathe fresh air, and pay attention to hygiene in diet; The most important thing is that the mood should be optimistic-mood, … mood, understand? Emotion?

Wang: Feelings? I understand.-I'm in a bad mood!

Ma: In a bad mood?

Wang: I tell you, I am just like this.

M: What's wrong?

Wang: Do it if it suits me, or make trouble if it doesn't! I am in a bad mood.

M: What about you? Is this you? Philosophy of life? Your philosophy of life-inappropriate, unhappy and noisy! Awards without you, noisy; Without you, adjust the level and make trouble; Choose advanced not to choose you, make trouble; The car didn't pick you up, making trouble; Choosing the captain didn't choose you, noisy; I didn't sit on the soft sleeper of a foreign performance, I made a noise ... I made sense to you, but it didn't make sense. Who will do the work for you and who will talk to you? Are you sarcastic, hurtful and abusive? Is that you?

Wang: Hey, I'm in the mood!

Man: You are a man, in a word!

Wang: In one word-yes!

M: Is that right? Muddy!

W: Huh? What an asshole.

Ma: You have no idea what kind of emotion you are talking about, that is, it is wrong for individuals to think about their own interests. The emotion we are talking about is a normal emotion-emotion, sadness and fear. If you don't master these emotions well, exceeding the limit will be harmful to people's health.

Wang: Oh-does it hurt when you are upset, sad or afraid?

M: Yes, let me give you an example.

Wang: What's wrong with this happiness?

M: I'm glad to have it.

Wang: It's not bad for your health, but is it fun? How can it hurt?

M: Yes, it depends on how happy you are-there is no harm in listening to cross talk and having some fun, but it depends on how happy you are. Always listen to cross talk, haha, have fun-clear air rises, turbid air falls, you are healthy, painless-laugh less, be sad, grow old ... Don't you always say that?

Wang: No, no, no,no. Don't laugh, ten years old! ..... ten years younger.

Ma: Ten years old? Who told you that?

Wang: Everyone says so.

Man: Is that what everyone says? That's not right-smile, ten years old? It doesn't make sense. Ten years after a pleasure? It's impossible. It takes ten years to play-people in their forties have become thirties after listening to cross talk. In their thirties, they become twenties, but there is a difference of ten years. After listening to some cross talk, the old man in his sixties left and became a child. Did you tie your ass curtain before you left? When I got home, my family didn't know him-"Who are you looking for, little friend?" Go, go, go and play outside! "Neighbors to remind-"isn't this your grandpa came back! "

Wang: Is it almost the same?

M: No! Is "smile, less", this joy does not hurt. No matter how happy you are, you are afraid that such a thing will suddenly stimulate your heart ... For example, you-your family, your father, your brother or you, no matter who you are, suddenly received a notice: pay more than 80,000 yuan and take it quickly. The bank is keeping it for you. When you are excited and happy, "Oh, dear!" ..... This sudden event makes you excited, collapsed, trembling, trembling hands, hemiplegia, Wang Fengshan-like this. ...

Wang: That's it? There is no such thing.

What is this, beyond the limits of happiness? ...

Wang: No, there is no such thing! There is no such person in our family! Return, return more than 80,000 yuan.

Man: That's what I mean!

Wang: I didn't mean that.

M: This is not good. Let's take another example ... your wife, your lover-Mrs. Wang, Mrs. Wang, if you have a boy, you will be happy-fat man, you will be so happy, so excited and stimulate your heart. ...

Wang: There is no such thing! Wife is over 60, and there are children? !

M: That's ... early storage, overstocked goods.

Wang: OK-our wives are the children's warehouses? Does it make sense?

M: Just like this-right. This sudden joy is harmful to people's health.

Wang: What about this anger?

Ma: Anger, not good. Anger hurts the liver the most! Does Li Shizhen know? Li Shizhen?

Wang: Li Shizhen knows-manager of Guangfu Road grocery store, national model worker.

Man: What about Li Shizhen? So Zhang Shizhen.

Wang: Well, my last name is missing.

Ma: Nonsense! What about you! Li Shizhen, an ancient medical scientist, said that this kind of anger, anger-anger, anxiety, anger, is the worst. Whenever you encounter unpleasant things, you should always take a step back and think for yourself. This is good for your health. This is anger hurting the liver. Joy and anger.

Wang: Oh! Worried?

M: worry, worry about your lungs, don't worry. Of course, those who have no long-term worries will have near worries. No one can eat all day, have no heart and think nothing. That's impossible. I'm afraid that Hu will worry about everything, worrying about this and that ... Ah, alarmism is alarmism, which is not good for my health-Lin Daiyu in A Dream of Red Mansions was sentimental and died of lung disease!

Wang: Yes!

Ma: What a sad lung. In fact, if Lin Daiyu had had needles-some remifentanil and remifentanil-a few injections would not have died.

Wang: Yes, in fact, I wish Lin Daiyu had been hospitalized.

Man: There was no such thing at that time, and there was no hospital. Just worried about hurting the lungs.

Wang: Still thinking?

M: This idea is more powerful. It depends on what you think, such as thinking at your desk and learning culture, which is not harmful to your health. As long as you have a good rest, eat well and sleep well, it won't hurt, and you are afraid that you will go crazy at the thought of money and never forget it!

Wang: Hello!

M: It hurts to think of other things, even worse.

Wang: Sad?

Ma: Sadness, this sadness is amazing! Sorrow is sorrow.

Wang: Why are you crying?

Ma: I can't cry well! Too much crying, not good! Crying hurts the spleen most. ..... take you for example. This spring, on the ninth day of February, your mother ... your mother died, and you cried when your mother died. Your father is even sadder. Your father is sad, unhappy and depressed. Ah, he's depressed. He doesn't want to eat or drink, play or visit. Whoever looks for someone doesn't go and doesn't like to talk. He doesn't even watch TV. He sat alone in the hut. ..

Wang: OK, OK, OK-you wait!

M: I used to watch TV every day. ...

Wang: OK, OK, stop watching TV. My mother has been dead for more than forty years. There was no TV at that time.

Man: Let's just say yes-do you think the old couple can die on the same day in the same year? He must leave first. It's not good to be too sad, and it will hurt his health. He should be sorry for his loss. ...

W: Who are you talking about? Who is it?

M: Take this as an example.

Wang: Don't make an analogy, compare yourself!

M: That's what it means. This is sadness, this is fear and surprise. ...

Wang: Just afraid?

M: No-fear and shock are not the same thing, and neither are fear and shock-fear is an internal attack, and shock is an external feeling, which is different from shock.

Wang: I don't understand.

M: This fear is the fear of fear. I have a ghost in my heart and a guilty conscience. I did one bad thing after another. I'm always so scared, so scared, and always feel uneasy. This state of panic ...

Wang: Then why?

M: Take you for example. When you walk in the street at night, it's too late. When I came home, the street was quiet and there were few people. As soon as you look at it, a woman walks across the street, holding a schoolbag, getting closer and closer to you. You walk over and "bang-!" You stopped her and tried to grab her purse. You robbed her purse, and, ah, you ... you have a ... very ... very unfair ... this behavior is very bad ...

Wang: Who is it? ! Who is it? ! Who is it? ! Who is it? !

Man: You ... You!

Wang: Me? ! Am I holding a scraper?

M: Hey-hey-but … maybe?

Wang: Ah! There may be more? ! I'm a gangster? !

M: Isn't this an analogy?

W: Like what?

M: For example, suppose you are walking down the street and meet a woman. It was dark and quiet. Look at this. ...

Wang: OK-OK-OK! Please wait a moment! Hypothetically? Like what? -compare yourself with you!

M: No solution.

Wang: No, no, no, compared with you. You, don't point here

Man: Than me? ... okay ... okay!

Wang: Let's compare!

Man: compared with me ... let's just say, I ... I walked in the street, right?

Wang: Come on, Rob!

M: quite quiet. Few people in the street ... a woman came up. ...

Wang: Catch it!

M: … No … No, I have to compete with you!

W: Why?

M: I … I … I don't know.

Wang: You are different from me, just like me. !

You don't know.

Wang: Hey, me too.

Ma: On the surface, neither do you. You can't see it on the surface.

Wang: Alas-I'm a passer-by anyway!

M: Just ... for example, if you meet such a woman, she is getting closer and closer to you, and it is gone at first sight. You go up to him and say, "Stop! Give me your wallet! " When the woman saw it, she was shocked: "Catch the hooligan!" On hearing "ouch-!" Just run!

Wang: OK, I'm a rabbit!

Ma: This describes how fast you run! You run home, run home to "Teng!" The door is closed, and the big thick stick is on it. Oh, my heart is pounding and you are scared. I didn't dare to go out for two days, didn't go to work, didn't go to the group, and didn't see anyone. It's been a long and hard time at home these two days. I don't want to eat or sleep. Oh, I don't know what to do. I whispered, but I was uneasy-you were surprised to hear the neighbor's door ring.

Wang: Yo-ho?

M: You were shocked when you heard the car ringing in the street. ...

Wang: OK, I'm a big rooster? ! ..... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are you going?

M: Listen to the sound, listen to the sound. On the third morning, I heard a car coming from the street-"Wen Er-Wen Er-Wen Er-Wen Er! Wen Er, Wen Er, Wen Er and Wen Er! ..... "The closer you listen to the sound, the closer you get. The car is parked in front of your hutong. Four people get on and off. Armed police came to your door and slapped it: "Wang Fengshan! Wang Fengshan! " You are in no hurry these days. You're finished-a stone fell to the ground!

Wang: I arrested them all, but a stone fell to the ground!

M: I'm afraid of hurting my kidneys. It's not good for people to be frightened. And this surprise-surprise. Yes, this sudden sound is a shock. This is a strange feeling, a shock. You should be prepared not to be scared-set off fireworks and amplify them twice during the Chinese New Year holiday. "Ding dang-!" It is prepared, it must know that it rings; Marijuana Lei Zi, bang! ! ! "It's ringing. Are you scared?

W: No, there is a collapse.

M: I was scared that day.

W: Why?

M: When I came home that day, I heard "Bang! ! ! "It gave me a fright. I see it this way. ...

Wang: Who will shoot the gun?

M: Where to shoot? It's popcorn

Wang: Hello!

M: Popcorn scares me. If we master this emotion, worry, sadness and fear, and pay attention to emotional health ... for me, I will pay attention to emotional health. Anyway, I will just hold my horses and think about it. I thought of myself ... don't look at me like that. I think it's okay to live for another ten or eight years.

Wang: Huh? Live another ten or eight years?

Can you believe it?

Wang: You can live ten or eight years longer, and I can live twenty years.

What about you? Let me see ... you-you can live for twenty or thirty years!

Wang: Me?

Ma: Live another twenty or thirty years.

Woman: Huh? Now in his sixties, he can still live 220?

Ma: You can live another twenty or thirty years!

Wang: Yes, two 360 s?

Ma: Live another twenty or thirty years!

Wang: Why twenty or thirty?

M: Yes 1 1 30th of the month and130th of February!

Wang: I'm finished? !