The order of marrying and hiring women

The most populous people in Northeast China are Manchu and Han. Manchu (including some Mongolians and Han people who joined the Eight Banners) are indigenous people here. Their custom is not only a tradition of living in Baishan Heishui for generations, but also a change after contact with Chinese culture. However, the Han people who "rushed" to Guandong from Shandong, Hebei and other inland areas gradually "do as the Romans do" and integrated their original customs into the life of the people in Northeast China under the law of "one side is rich in soil and one side is rich in water". The marriage custom in Northeast China is the product of this mutual integration. In the past, the age of marriage was generally around 14 or 15, and the age of the woman was slightly better, so that the daughter-in-law could have children as soon as possible after going through the door and help with cooking. Therefore, there is a saying in folk proverbs that "a girl is a junior and reports to the BRICS". If a young man is not married after the age of 20, it is considered abnormal by ordinary people, usually because his family is poor or he has defects. During the Chinese New Year, some people deliberately let married girls move lard (commonly known as "big oil" or "meat oil") cans, which is called "moving big meat (marriage)", mainly because they can get married early.

Generally speaking, marriage negotiations must go through the procedure of proposing relatives and protecting media. Parents can learn about each other's family and personal appearance through relatives and friends, which is called "looking at each other". With the consent of both parties, there will be a "marriage", that is, a "Geng Tie" with the woman's birthday written on it will be sent to the man's family (or exchanged between the two families) and given to people like fortune tellers to calculate whether the zodiac signs of both parties are consistent and whether marriage is harmful to parents. If you have no good luck, you can continue to talk about marriage. Others put their own "Geng Tie" in front of the gods at home, and think it is feasible within three days without an accident.

The marriage is auspicious, and the man's house goes to the woman's house to pay a bride price, commonly known as "letting go" or "drinking tea". Generally, the man's father and his elder's close relatives and wives go there to send some gold and silver jewelry to the woman who wants to get married, so it is also called "inserting and wearing". It's a banquet at a Japanese woman's house. During the dinner, parents exchange glasses and drink, which is called "changing glasses", and it is also called "hooking up" because it is the first time for parents-in-law to get together formally.

After that, if there is no change, the two families formally agree to get married. The man's family informs the woman's family of the wedding date calculated when they get married, which is called "communication" or "sending the day", and the number of bride price is agreed with the woman's family, followed by "gift" or "tea", which is called "sending Wu Lin (money)" in Manchu. Bride gifts generally include two pigs, two bottles of wine (only for the poor), jewelry, clothes, cloth and cash. On the same day, the woman killed the pig and hosted a banquet for relatives and friends, which was called "accepting talents". Friends and relatives have money and things to feed, commonly known as "helping with makeup" or "adding boxes". On this day, Manchu families will also worship their ancestors with pig wine and take off the thread lock of the girl to be married from the "rope". In other places, after the bride price, the man and the elder woman want to cut a dress for the girl as a sign of starting to make a dowry, commonly known as "opening scissors." After that, the two families stepped up preparations for marriage.

Weddings are usually divided into three days.