Ask for a super funny sketch script

At a busy intersection, there is a big chess. Near-re-embodiment camel

Tianyuan: Hi, auntie, fortune telling?

Hey, beggars. How to talk!

Tianyuan: Impossible! Are you lying? Please forgive me for lying to grandma.

I will kick you to death.

Tianyuan: Look for yourself. The wrinkles in the corner of your eyes are so deep that who can't recognize them?

A: That's because you are old, so everyone wants to be older than themselves.

Tianyuan: Yes, the girl's criticism is very accurate. I must be envious to see that I am still so young.

Are you human?

Tianyuan: Why not? I am human!

A: The words on your national flag seem to be wrong.

Tianyuan: Where? There is nothing wrong with it.

Have you ever read a book?

Tianyuan; Yes, but I didn't graduate from primary school.

A: No wonder it is wrong.

Tianyuan: Why, you are crazy!

a； Yes, I'm a psycho. Are you crazy!

Hello! Honey, I'm coming! How did you get here? (Then pointing to Tianyuan) Sorry, man, my wife is out of her mind and has given you trouble! (To A again) I told you not to run around. Why are you so disobedient? Do you want me to spank you? (Pointing at the sky and telling A) There are so many bad people now. How can I live alone if something happens?

Tianyuan: It seems that I will never look like a bad person.

(A suddenly hugs Tianyuan) A: Mom, I want to drink milk. (crying)

(Tian Yuan kicks her away): The child is good, but the mother has no milk. Lie on the ground and sleep. Be obedient

B pull out the nail.

Tianyuan: Hey, psycho, don't let him run around. Forget it. What if you don't pay? What should I do if I don't tell my fortune and pass on my mental illness?

A quiet place. B: Open your wallet quickly.

A: Only 20. 17 cents.

B: It seems that the fortune teller will be laid off soon.

Act ii

At night, the long bridge is brightly lit. Only Tianyuan and Xiangxiang.

Tianyuan: The weather is good today. (Xiang Xiang looks at the water under the bridge)

Xiangxiang: If you have anything to say, just say it. I have no time. (Look at the table)

Tianyuan: No, I just want to see you.

Fragrant and fragrant; Then I'm leaving.

Tianyuan: No! Xiangxiang, don't abandon me.

Xiang Xiang: Impossible. I have decided to marry my boss next month. We'll go our separate ways from now on.

Tianyuan: I didn't expect you to be such a heartless woman and waste my deep affection for you. I can't believe I wasn't even invited to the wedding party. How can I not come when you get married? Even if you don't invite me, I will climb here. It won't be too humiliating if you don't come. Right? Come on, I must come!

Xiang Xiang: You will only lose my face. It's been three years. I've been waiting for you for three years Not only have you not changed, but you have become more like a person than a person, and ghosts are not like ghosts.

Tianyuan: I haven't changed, Xiangxiang. I still love you. Marry me and I will give you happiness.

Xiangxiang: Didn't you say that you can earn1100,000 in three years? Where is the money?

Tianyuan; I used to have it, but I lost it.

Director: Stop, what's wrong? Did you drink too much yesterday? Can you speak more innocently and tremble? You should always remember that you have never seen so much money. You're kidnapping women. Of course I'm nervous.

Tianyuan: Yes.

Director: Here we go again!

Xiang Xiang: You will only lose my face. It's been three years. I've been waiting for you for three years Not only have you not changed, but you have become more like a person than a person, and ghosts are not like ghosts. Didn't you say that you can earn10 million in three years? Where is the money?

Tianyuan; I used to have it, but I lost it.

Xiangxiang: Then what do you have to say?

Tianyuan: Yes. I believe that our love can surpass money. If you want.

Xiang Xiang: Impossible, really impossible. It's far away, my life needs money, my illness needs money, and my family needs money. Everything needs money, you know? I no longer believe in love. Love is just a poet's perfect lie! I live a life of material poverty. From now on, I will pursue my own happiness. Can you leave me alone?

Tianyuan: If that's what you think, there won't be happiness there, maybe only the grave.

Xiangxiang (finally unbearable, shouting at Tianyuan): Anyway. I don't even want to see you again. I'm fed up with you, you know?

Tianyuan: I know. I'm leaving now. But I still want to say, Xiangxiang, it's time to turn around.

Xiangxiang: If you don't leave, I'll call the police.

Tianyuan: No. If you really can't be your husband, I wonder if you can let me be your lover?

Xiang Xiang: Go to hell. If I had a knife in my hand now, I will stab you to death without hesitation.

Tianyuan: Well, since Xiangxiang hates me enough to kill me, I will never let you down. It is better to die at the hands of the person you love most today than to be bitten to death by an unknown wild dog in the future. There is a pair of sharp scissors in my pocket, which my poor mother asked me to keep for self-defense when she went out. Use it if you don't mind!