Ask for some humorous and philosophical online quotations.

1, knowledge is like underwear, invisible, but important!

2. Crowding buses is a large-scale comprehensive sport including Sanda, judo, yoga, balance beam and other sports and fitness programs.

3. I can't sleep for a long time in the morning and can't sleep at night. As soon as I close my eyes, the day passes. If you close your eyes and don't earn money, your whole life will pass! )

4, the salary is not much, the work is much, I want to let the horse run, but I don't want the horse to eat more grass.

5, the trouble I asked, it doesn't love you at all, let me tell you not to flatter yourself; Health let me bring you a love letter: it will never change your life! Happy new year! Trouble doesn't love me, and I don't love it; I love health! )

0 12 2009 10 month

1, the ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

2, man: twenty years old, semi-finished products; Thirty years old, is a finished product; Forty years old, it is a boutique; Fifty years old is the best; Sixty years old, is a sample; It's a souvenir of seventy years old.

3, eating is not active, and there is a problem with the mentality.

4. What is a rich man? Two have nothing, a house, a car and no wife. They say to me every day, "Don't save money, just spend it."

065438+200913 October

1, it is difficult to love someone; Love two people for fun; It is annoying to love three people; Love four people to capsize; Love five people and play thoroughly. (It's so smooth! )

2. A woman kissing a man is a kind of happiness, and a man kissing a woman is a kind of luck.

3, marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely, it is inconvenient to move, but it will be very warm. A real feeling. . . )

4, the hero is sad about the beauty pass, I am not a hero, the beauty let me pass.

5, play hard: you can play with life, life is gone, what to play!

0 1.04, 2009

1. As soon as others praise me, I worry that others praise me not enough.

There are two hardest things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads; The second is to put other people's money into your pocket. Many people just like to put their ideas into other people's minds. Why insist? )

3, inspiration is not Cao Cao, it will come.

Love is always more sacred than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.

The journey of exploration is not to discover new land, but to cultivate new perspectives.

0 1.05, 2009

1, I didn't mean to be different. How can I have outstanding taste?

2, the epidemic is not necessarily good, such as the flu.

3. How far a person can go depends on who he travels with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.

Sighing is the most time-wasting thing, and crying is the most energy-wasting behavior. (Well, don't sigh; Sometimes it's good to cry.

0 16 2009 10 month

1, salted fish turns over, or salted fish! How honest! I don't understand the story of the salted fish turning over. )

2. I can choose to give up, but I can't! Some people are not good at choosing, and choosing becomes a very painful thing. )

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

4. whether the coat is clean or not, others pay attention to the collar, and I pay attention to the pocket.

5. Not everyone can keep a low profile. The basis of keeping a low profile is to keep a high profile at all times. (Why are you arrogant? )

0 17 2009 10 month

1, a man's brain likes a woman's heart, but his eyes like her appearance. (Really? )

2. If you have money, you will lose; If you have no money, worship God.

I took a fancy to getting married at first, but it was a mistake to divorce later.

4, wages are like running water, loans are like hungry ghosts, and they are ok at the beginning of the month, and they are learning turtles at the end of the month.

0 1.08, 2009

1. Panda's two wishes: have a good sleep and take a color photo.

Why are you so handsome? You can't swipe your card with your face!

3. On class, you are a white-collar worker; On ability, you are the backbone; As far as talent is concerned, you are an elite, so we all praise you as white!

4, falling in love is like peeling onions, there is always a layer that will make you cry.

Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day and the other is the fifteenth.

65438+200919 October

1, when the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you are not used, you become a layoff!

A successful man can earn more money than his wife spends, and a successful woman can also find such a man.

If you fall, get up and cry again. Yes, get up first, then cry! )

The killer of marriage is sometimes not an affair, but time.

5, a moon, a you, two shadows, you and me, I am lucky to think of you, and the four beauties are not as good as you.

65438+2009 10 month

1, the ancients said: "Women like people", but it should actually be "women like people". Women please themselves, while men are pitiful to please themselves. )

You are great, but you can't do two things-neither this nor that.

3. I took a lot of photos when I was a child and put them in the living room for others to see; I didn't know that the photo was taken for myself until I was old. (it's quite good. )

Our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be born again.

5. Who runs fastest? It's Cao Cao, because speaking of the devil.

2009. 1. 1 1

1. Just because you have flowers in front of you doesn't mean you have fresh honey in your hand.

Never frown even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. So, keep smiling! )

3, the wife advised her husband: don't smoke and drink, so it hurts the body; Husband advised his wife: don't say these words, it will hurt your feelings.

When most people care about whether you fly high or not, only a few people care about whether you are tired or not. This is friendship. (hehe)

2009. 1. 12

1, I am good-looking, so you need patience. (It's me)

2. If you are drunk and don't accept anyone, just hold the wall.

I won't go to work if the sun doesn't come out. If so, I'll go back to sleep.

4. Women like ugly men, and don't like ugly men.

If you often don't eat on time, you should take medicine on time.

2009. 1. 13

1, never mentioned, not because I forgot, but because I remembered. You can say it's not because you miss it, but because you no longer care. )

Some people say that love is a debt owed in my last life, and I will pay it back in this life. I must have been vulgar in my last life, so I have no debts to pay back in my life.

3. Let the future come and the past pass. (The important thing is now)

4. Tiny happiness is around, and relaxed satisfaction is heaven. (contentment is always a pleasure)

2009. 1. 14

1, success has a side effect, that is, thinking that the past practices are also applicable to the future. (A sentence from Guo Taiming)

Tell me what you want, and then I'll tell you that the earth will go round without it.

Face the past with the least regret, the present with the least waste, and the future with the most dreams.

4. Smile in the morning and have an emotional atmosphere. Smile at night and have a good sleep. Smile after work and have fun. When you are sad, smile and all your troubles will disappear.

2009.0 1. 15

Our hometown is on the cow of hope!

See your ranking, and you will know how many people there are in your class.

If women want to live a better life, they should still take the road of inner masculinity and outer femininity. (er ...%&; ……(* & amp)

Say it if you don't understand. Don't say it when you understand it. Just smile. (er ... RMB&; (*)*)

Love is sad for ten years and happy for one day; Money is saved for ten years and used up in one day; Friends, ten years of friendship, one day to break up; Health, ten years of health care, one day of illness.

2009. 1. 16

1, ambiguity is near, love is far, distance is near, and heart is far. (Will the heart be close and the distance far away? )

2, love, intoxicating, but also haggard, some people collapse for it, this is really a living crime.

We don't accept gifts on holidays this year, but only round-trip air tickets.

To like someone is to be happy when we are together, and to love someone is to want to be together even if we are unhappy. (reasonable)

2009. 1. 17

1, parents fool their children to call education, children fool their parents to call cheating, and mutual fooling is called generation gap.

2. When you are lonely, a person's carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

If eating fish can make people smart, then I have to eat whales.

4, don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurting money.

5, really-that is, you must never save money for your guests, you would rather eat too much and go back to vomit.

April 6(th), 2009

An error may be a failure, but failure is not an error. People can fail, but they cannot fail everywhere.

People can't take shortcuts all their lives. When there is no shortcut, a detour is also a road.

The most painful thing for people is nothing more than money; The happiest thing for people is to have everything without spending money.

One day in San Xiao, life is hard to get old. Three troubles a day, neither old nor old. People should be happy for as many years as they live.

April 7(th), 2009

Jianghu is sinister. If not, leave.

I'm not hiding, but my feet stink.

Happiness is not getting more, but caring less.

As long as you meet a pineapple, salt can also give off a sweet taste.

Earnestness can make things right, and intention can make things perfect.

April 8(th), 2009

There are no beauties in the world, and naturally more people will become beauties.

Being literate doesn't mean having no temper, and having a temper doesn't necessarily mean having no culture.

Angels can fly because they despise themselves.

I thought I was decadent, but I was scrapped.

April 9(th), 2009

Sincerity does not mean that we must blame others' shortcomings, but we must not compliment others' shortcomings.

Tears on the wound have the same effect as salt on the wound.

Love makes you old, and love makes you die young.

Happiness is around you at dawn; Sunny, smiling in your heart; Have a happy day with you at sunset.

April 2009 10

Don't drink more than six points, eat more than seven points, and love someone more than eight points.

Computer fortune telling: You will be down and out until you are forty. And then what? Then you get used to it!

My Fair Lady is a fairy, but she doesn't like red makeup and likes to work overtime.

See physical strength at the age of 20, education at the age of 30, experience at the age of 40, intelligence at the age of 50, medical records at the age of 60, calendars at the age of 70, calendars at the age of 80 and relics at the age of 90.

April 2009

Don't be depressed about what you don't have, be happy about what you have.

The only thing in the world that can be obtained without effort is age.

Fate is that the person I love is you, but you love others!

You can be persistent in love but not humble, and you can pay for each other without losing yourself.

Cheat parents at home and friends outside.

April 2009 12

Don't complain about life all day, life doesn't know who you are at all!

Philosophers are carefree, and wise men are always happy, not because they have everything they love, but because they love everything they have.

A big belly can hold things that are difficult to hold in the world; Mouth often laughs at ridiculous people in the world.

Being angry because of other people's mistakes is punishing yourself.

There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

April 2009 13

If the light is not on, it will not be on; The argument is true; Words must be made clear first; It is wonderful to have clean language; The heart should be flat; It's good to be human.

Can think, tired; Can't think and waste; Choosing to think is valuable; Empathy, absolutely.

Either you are absolutely independent, or you are absolutely obedient to the leader.

Money is not the problem, the problem is no money.

Since you can't live beautifully, you must strive to grow beautifully.

April 2009 14

Coffee is bitter or sweet, not how to stir it, but whether to put sugar; The pain is not so hard to forget, but whether you have the courage to start over.

True love is not that you want to be together until you know how good he or she is, but that you know that he or she has too many bad places or will not leave.

This year, did you really live for more than 300 days, or did you just live for one day and repeat it more than 300 times?

Yesterday is a known number, today is a variable, and tomorrow is an unknown.

As the saying goes, rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests. I said, there is grass near their nest, so why run all over the mountain?

April 2009 15

It's a long story. Stop it.

Everyone wants the truth to be on his side, but no one wants to be on the side of the truth.

Men should not read too much, college students are Wei Xiaobao; Undergraduate course is Chen Jialuo; The graduate student is Ouyang Feng; Doctoral students are terrible Yue Buqun.

The secret of socializing is not to tell the truth, but to tell the truth without angering each other.

Sleep in the world of children and wake up in the sadness of adults.

April 2009 16

Being the first is not necessarily the first.

Advertising is to tell you that money can still be spent like this.

The role of force is mutual, except the power of love.

Health is the capital of playing hard.

I climbed to the top of the ladder, only to find that I climbed the wrong wall.

April 2009 17

Life is a journey, and happiness is a process, not a destination.

You are gold and I am coal. You will shine, and I will get hot. Don't make me angry, or I will melt you.

If a person doesn't often think about the future, he will be numb to the present.

The conditions of an ideal wife: one is to be able to take it out, and the other is to bring it back.

April 2009 18

Pick up the bits and pieces of life with you, seal up the sadness spilled all the way, and spread happiness hand in hand from now on.

I suddenly wanted to study in the middle of the night, but it was already dawn when I found the candle.

I used to have a pair of wings, but instead of spreading my wings and flying, I was stewed in soup.

I can take Daniel away from you, which means that Daniel can't stand on your side.

April 2009 19

A punch stone takes its strength, and a spoonful of water takes its net.

Not all efforts will succeed, but all success is the result of efforts.

The most depressing thing is not playing the piano for a group of cows, but a group of cows playing the piano for you.

Do you think I'll watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

April 20(th), 2009

The more civilized people are, the less they eat.

Face is given by others, and face is lost by yourself.

The mosquito bit the lion and thought he was a hero from then on.

The stupidest question in the world is: Why don't you love me?

April 2, 20091

The biggest market in the world is in our minds.

If you look up, he is great; If you don't listen, there will be no gossip.

It is not safe to ask a beautiful woman to be a wife; It is not satisfactory to ask an ugly woman to be a wife.

I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me, or I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Invite me to have a good meal, or write: get married, no conditions.

April 22(nd), 2009

One foot squashed the violet, but the violet left the fragrance on that foot. This is forgiveness.

I buried my boyfriend in spring, thinking that there would be many boyfriends in autumn, but in autumn, I was buried by the police.

Love is like the relationship between shoes and feet. Only the feet know whether the shoes are suitable or not.

The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

April 23(rd), 2009

The so-called beauty looks three points and dresses seven points; The so-called temperament three points, talent seven points; The so-called gentleness is three points forbearance and seven points depression.

The back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, so don't let the back waves shoot you to death on the beach.

Happiness is like a poppy, and everyone who wants to pick it fails; Happiness is like snow floating in a river. Water wants to take Melissa Zhou away.

Reduce the demand for love, raise the standard of work and improve the quality of life.

April 24(th), 2009

If you tell one lie, you have to make up ten lies to make up for it. Why bother?

Be a low-key person, and be steady every time; High-profile work, better every time.

Gold always shines, but pandas always go abroad.

People who live in applause from others can't stand the test.

April 25(th), 2009

Love is a colorful bubble, which looks beautiful, but it will burst when poked.

Ranks and honors, like clouds in the sky, don't lie in, but fall down when you lie in.

Marriage: reciprocity of natural resources and asset integration; Divorce: wasting natural resources and plundering assets.

I am rich not because I have a lot, but because I ask for very little.

April 26(th), 2009

Many rooms make wind, and many words make disaster.

The meaning of life lies not in holding a good hand, but in playing a bad one.

Dear, when I scan you, my love "program" starts, and others say that we "hit it off".

Split ... do you want a piece?