Fortune Telling Collection - Comprehensive fortune-telling - What do people who cannot carry clearly often do?
What do people who cannot carry clearly often do?
1: I want to count the stars and get together at the end of the year. A colleague who is usually calm, drank his eyes red that day. When the leader saw that the situation was not good, he quickly asked me to take him home. But when I reached for a taxi, my colleague didn't get on the bus anyway, but sat on the side of the road with great interest. He looked up at the sky and said, "Who says there are countless stars in the sky? I want to count them all tonight! " 2. Stop the police car for dinner. A buddy drank a little too much, but he looked sober and everyone ignored him. At the end of the meal, the buddy suddenly rushed to the middle of the road, stretched out his hand and stopped a patrolling 1 10 police car, then opened the door and rushed to the policeman sitting inside and said loudly, I know your car is one kilometer (the taxi price in Qingdao is one kilometer), but you don't have to write it so big for me. You think I'm nearsighted ... 3: Business is so good to go to a hotel. Just when everyone was wondering, a group of people rushed over, picked up the buddy and hit him. Of course, we quit and ask them: he didn't mess with you. Why did you hit him? "Hit him? We had a good meal, but this guy went to our private room to pee and left. " 4: The car leaks oil. There is a cool buddy who used to wear leather pants and drive a motorcycle to catch a meal. After a stupid drink, everyone retreated. When we parted on the side of the road, the buddy suddenly felt urgent to pee. He walked under a tree and unbuttoned his leather pants, but unbuttoned his belt. I saw him holding the belt and starting to relax in the tree. Finally, he was still shaking wildly with his belt. Then, he rolled out his motorcycle. Just as he was about to start, he noticed that the ground under the leather pants was actually wet. So, he asked us in confusion: "Strange, how did my car leak oil?" When I was in the newspaper, one of my colleagues had a legendary hobby. When you are drunk, you like to give people money, one hundred each, and let people take a taxi home. He is anxious with whoever doesn't want him, so don't beat others up. But the next day, he ran to others with special grievances and put on a miserable face: "Brother, give me back the money I gave you yesterday ..." The funniest thing is that the same thing happened to him three times in a month. 6: Throwing a watch My father always likes to bet with others when he is drunk. Once he didn't come home late at night, we went to various pubs to find him. When I found him, he was shouting in the street to compare his watch with another person. At the end of the quarrel, his old man took the omega off his wrist and threw it across the street. Then he rushed to pick it up and shouted excitedly, "Look, my watch is still running. Do you want to try? " There is a flower bed in front of my house. One morning, I went out and found a buddy sleeping in a flower bed with only a pair of shorts. And his shirt, trousers and tie are neatly stacked next to him, holding his mobile phone, which is actually turned off. There are also leather shoes, which are also neatly placed, with socks in the hole ... as if this guy is in charge of this. Later, I thought, it's a good thing this guy doesn't have a hobby of sleeping naked, otherwise it would be more lively to watch. 8. Climbing the stairs Once, a netizen came to Tianjin and claimed to pour us Shanghainese under the table. Of course we were not convinced, so we took turns to go into battle. From beer to red wine, from red wine to yellow wine, from yellow wine to white wine, the final result is that this Tianjin man should have carried his wife with a broken toe upstairs, but inexplicably carried my six-year-old daughter from the first floor to the seventh floor, and then staggered back to the first floor from the seventh floor, and was beaten by his wife, and his eyes were blue. 9: I met a robber, finished drinking with a group of people and made an appointment to go to a certain house. Walking, one person got lost, and another person went to find him. Everyone went to a certain house first and sat down. After a while, the lost man came and proudly told everyone that he had met a robber and asked him to break him open with a brick. As soon as the words were finished, the person who went to look for him came. He said that he was lost in anger and hit him with a brick, which made him run away. 10: Here I come again. Some friends made an appointment to drink at a hotel called Fish Head King. After drinking too much, one of them insisted on going to another hotel to meet another group of drinkers. No one could stop him, so we had to let him go. But not long after, he suddenly appeared in front of us with a bright face and repeatedly apologized: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just drank wine and came late." As he spoke, he sat down and shouted at the waiter, "Come on, let's eat!" " Later, we learned that after he left us, he got on the taxi neatly and shouted at the driver, "get out of the way and go to the fish head king!" " "As a result, the driver took him around the street and sent him back. When he came to us again, he couldn't recognize who was who. It turned out to be a kind of pain. Excuse me! 1 1: dumbfounding. I met a girl the winter before last. Good temperament. We are together almost every day. In the evening, either go to a bar or go to a disco. One night, we came home drunk. She started making trouble when she got home. Cry, cry badly. She was crying alone in the bathroom. I kicked the door open and pulled her out, and she got into the closet and continued to cry. I finally put her to bed and she hugged me and cried. That's not all. When I saw the cell phone at hand, bang. Hit the wall hard. I just watched the beautiful folding mobile phone split in half. Next day, she woke up. Holding my head and looking at the broken mobile phone on the ground, I ran downstairs and moved a brick. I looked at her strangely. I saw the lady pick up a brick and hit it at the mobile phone. After the shell was broken, she took out the parts inside, smiled at me and said, "Hehe, these parts are worth 300 yuan. Sell them and chip in to buy a mobile phone! "12: It's a pity that a related unit invited our colleagues to a very high-end restaurant to drink and ordered a lot of abalone and bird's nest. During the dinner, everyone raised their glasses frequently and fell down. I don't know how many bottles of red wine I drank. I only remember that when I left, one of my colleagues vomited downstairs in the hotel. While vomiting, he cried regretfully and said, "My abalone, my shark's fin, what a pity. "13: From Nanjing to Zhenjiang, I know a big brother, a native of Nanjing, who likes drinking very much. At that time, he came and went on a little Mulan motorcycle. One night, he was drunk, but he still rode his motorcycle home. At that time, he couldn't see the road clearly, only knowing that he was walking on the 3 12 national road in a daze. I don't remember how long I rode it. When he was a little more sober, he suddenly looked up and saw a signboard in front of him, which turned out to be "Zhenjiang Hotel". He rode a little Mulan motorcycle from Nanjing to Zhenjiang! What's more, he rode Mulan from Zhenjiang to Nanjing. 14: A man with elegant manners drank too much and went to a small tree. When he finished, he pulled himself away, but he felt that someone had caught him. He turned and refused. "No, no, it's too late. I should go back. Goodbye, sister. "Helpless is can't walk away. When his people saw that he was busy alone and became impatient, they also came over and advised him, "Miss, let go, we will come back later, and there are plenty of opportunities. "It took them more than an hour to say goodbye back and forth, only to find that he actually tied his belt to people and trees. His relationship with the tree is still very good. After ...................................................................................................................................... had a full meal, his brother came out to drive his bike with his car key, but he couldn't open it. My brother thought, maybe he was drunk and his hands were shaking. Anyway, I made a lot of money today, so I might as well take a taxi home. So he put his bike in the trunk of a taxi and took it home. After waking up the next day, my brother came downstairs to have a look. It's broken! He had to take a taxi to pull his bike back. It turned out that it was his colleague Xiao Li's bike that he took home at night! 16: I am at home. One of my neighbors likes drinking and often gets drunk. Once, he got drunk and got into a taxi. The driver drove slowly, waiting for him to say where he was going. But after waiting for a long time, nothing happened. Looking back, he was taking off his clothes. The driver was surprised and quickly asked, "What are you doing, sir?" He said, "when I get home, I'm going to take off my clothes and sleep!" The driver quickly told him, "This is my car, not your home." "He wanted to think, shouted," let's go, go back to where I get on the bus! The driver asked why, and he said, "I thought I got home just now, and I left my shoes at the door!" " 17: fortune telling once, a friend of mine from other places went to Qingdao on business and his friend went to a hotel for a party. As a result, he drank a little too much. When he arrived at the hotel, he refused to take out his room key. I have no choice but to go to the front desk of the hotel and find another way. When we returned to the door of the room with the waiter, I saw him putting the money, credit cards, business cards and other things in his wallet neatly on the floor. When he saw us, he said excitedly and happily, "Come, I'll give you a divination! " "
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