Humorous jokes about his girlfriend.

Make humorous jokes about your girlfriend, and always chat with your girlfriend. Even if your girlfriend won't say anything, she may have a complaint in her heart. What shall we do? What humorous jokes are there to amuse our girlfriends? I recommend it to you below!

Humorous jokes about his girlfriend 1 1. Every morning when my husband goes to work, I'm sleeping and I hear him say, I'm leaving, Smecta! I've always wondered how he knows the word smecta. He never watches Korean dramas. Until this morning, I woke up earlier and more sober, and I clearly heard his words: I'm leaving, you pervert. ...

I met a fortune teller the day before yesterday. The fortune teller read my palm, shook his head and sighed, "Son, you may not live to get married." "Isn't it? I'm going to die at the age of twenty? " "No, you live a long life."

3. I dreamed of my ex-boyfriend again last night ... I woke up this morning and called him: "How have you been recently?" "I'm not talking about you. We have broken up for a long time. Can you stop pestering me! " "Sorry, I'm sorry. Last night, I just dreamed that you were picking up garbage under the overpass. I am so happy that I can't help but want to confirm it! "

Walking through a row of houses, I suddenly saw a skirt fall in front of me from upstairs. Looking up, a beautiful woman is bowing her head in a hurry in the upstairs window. I smiled and asked, "Hello, beauty, is your husband there?" The beauty looked puzzled and said, "No, why do you ask?" Do you have a brother-in-law? I asked again. "no!" The beauty replied. Believe me, I'll pick up my skirt and run at once. ...

The ex-boyfriend is from Gao Fushuai, and he has been with an ordinary current boyfriend since he broke up with him. I met my ex-boyfriend when I was shopping with my boyfriend that day. My ex-boyfriend sarcastically said to me, "Your eyes are getting worse now." I said to him casually, "At least he is straight!" The angry ex-boyfriend stamped his foot, snorted and walked away proudly.

6. Today, my girlfriend and I are shopping. I was walking when suddenly a child spat at my girlfriend. My girlfriend looked at the saliva on her new clothes and was so angry that she was about to cry. I grabbed the child and prepared to hit him. My girlfriend is afraid of my impulse to pull me. I thought about it, too. How can a man as old as me hit a child! So I smiled and gave him ten dollars and told him, "You think your big sister is beautiful, so thank you!" " "Then the child happily took the money and left. His girlfriend looked at me after a pause and smiled through tears: "You are so bad! " "

7. Today, just now, I killed my boss's boa constrictor in a big snake fight, and then sucked away his legacy, sucked away, sucked away, and watched my body grow up little by little, and I felt a sense of accomplishment instantly.

8. At the concert, a buddy excitedly said to the star on the stage with a microphone: "I am your most loyal fan. I have attended almost every concert of yours, and today I finally have a chance! Can you take a picture with me and my girlfriend? " The star felt very moved and agreed without hesitation. Then the buddy listened happily and asked the audience, "Great, so ladies, who wants to be my girlfriend?"

9. I came home from a business trip for a month and found that everything was so harmonious. The lady ticket politely changed my slippers, and there was delicious food on the table. The only thing that makes me sad is that the parrot I raised for two years died. .

10, a beautiful female colleague, her husband sent her lunch and left without saying anything. The new male colleague asked: Who was that just now? She replied: take-away delivery. The newcomer asked again: Why didn't you give money? She said: no need to give it, just sleep with him at night. The male colleague was silent. The next day, he brought her a four-course and one-soup lunch, and the whole office burst into laughter.

Humorous joke about teasing his girlfriend 2 1, wine meets bosom friends, not speculation.

If one day you start to miss me, remember that I didn't leave by myself, but you let me go.

3. Confucius, Mencius and Laozi slept together in the pigsty. As a result, the sow became pregnant the next day. After inspection, it is neither Confucius' nor Mencius'. Whose is it? (The one-second answer is genius)

There are more and more monsters in this world, but fewer and fewer Taoist priests in Tang Dynasty.

5. Summer homework flies in the sky, underground, all over the sky, and garbage dumps.

6. Rich people buy eight generations of apples, while poor people buy eight bags of apples.

7. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

8. When you point your finger at others and scold their parents, don't forget that there are still four fingers pointing at yourself! !

9. Let me wish you a happy Mother's Day: Hello, wife, you are the big leader of our family. Mother's day is really good. You celebrate the holidays, I work hard.

10, everyone is original at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

1 1, how long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

12, we have almost the most festivals in the world, but almost the least holidays in the world.

13, from primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

14, I feel dizzy by boat. How can I have two feet on both sides?

15, smoking and drinking, step by step.

16, I just want to put down all the burdens and be close to you wholeheartedly. Can I start over?

17, is there anyone like me who thought He Jiong and Nana were a couple when I was a child?

18, it's love to fight, and always scold your mother, you are almost in love with your mother.

19, Valentine's Day, I wish all girlfriends a holiday.

20. As soon as Valentine's Day arrives, lovers begin to get excited and finally break up on Valentine's Day.