What are the common wedding customs?

First, the traditional wedding customs in China

Three books: according to the traditional etiquette of our country, it refers to the documents exchanged in the process of conscription, namely:

"Letter of appointment": Letter of appointment, exchanged at the time of engagement;

"Gift Book": a list of gifts, which lists the types and quantities of gifts and will be exchanged when giving gifts;

"Wedding Book": a book for marrying the bride, which is used when picking up the bride on the wedding day.

Six rites: refers to the process from finding relatives to matchmaking to getting married. They are:

"Nacai": commonly known as matchmaking, that is, the man's family asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's family, and the woman's family wants to propose marriage before the man's family prepares gifts;

"Ask the name": commonly known as the eight characters, ask the matchmaker to ask the woman's date of birth and name to prepare for the wedding ceremony;

"Naji": that is, after the man's family gets a good omen, he prepares a gift to inform the woman's family and preliminarily agrees on the marriage;

"Zheng Na": also known as bride price, the man chooses an auspicious day to hold an engagement gift at the woman's house;

"Invitation": Choose an auspicious day to get married. In the old days, auspicious days were usually bimonthly and bimonthly. I don't like to choose March, June and November. I don't want to choose six, because I don't want a half-life marriage. 1 1 month means a lot.

"Kissing": On the wedding day, the man personally took a congratulatory letter to the woman's house to marry the bride.

Bedding: A few days before the wedding, choose an auspicious day, spread bedding and sheets on the new bed, then spread a dragon and phoenix quilt and sprinkle all kinds of happy fruits, such as peanuts, red dates, longan and lotus seeds. It means that the couple will have a baby early. Those who lift the bed, make the bed, and sprinkle happy fruits are all carefully selected "lucky"-parents are alive, brothers and sisters are complete, and marriage is harmonious. Pairs of children naturally hope that such people can bring good luck to the couple.

Making trouble in the bridal chamber: It was stipulated earlier that the groom's brother of the same age could make trouble in the bridal chamber. Old people think that "the couple don't make trouble, but they make it worse", which can exorcise evil spirits and avoid disasters for the couple and will be blessed after marriage.

Dowry: The dowry of a woman's family is a symbol of her family status and wealth. The dowry will be delivered to the in-laws at the latest the day before the wedding. Dowry risk clothing accessories, mainly things that symbolize good omen, such as scissors, meaning butterfly Qi Fei; Spiton, also known as the children's fight; Vase, meaning flowers bloom with wealth; Shoes mean growing old together; Feet, meaning fertile land and so on. Of course, the customs and habits of each place are different.

Above: In drought, both men and women have to hold premarital ceremonies. It is also a good day to choose. Men and women comb their hair in their own homes and say loudly at the same time: comb it to the end, comb it to Qi Mei with white hair, comb it to the children and grandchildren, and comb it to four silver bamboo shoots.

Take a red umbrella: On the wedding day, the bride's sister or maid of honor helps her stand outdoors. Sisters or bridesmaids hold a red umbrella on the bride's head, which means "spreading branches and leaves" and scattering rice to the sky and the top of the umbrella.

Second, the traditional wedding process in China

Marriage customs that have been circulating in China for thousands of years. Nowadays, some people have forgotten or ignored it, but its most traditional wedding process is still in a happy and auspicious state. No matter what kind of wedding is held in China, the wedding process in China affects us more or less.

Basic process:

Bright sedan chair: the sedan chair stops at the groom's door to show to the neighbors.

Send a sedan chair: The groom comes to the bride's house and marries her to get on the sedan chair.

Sedan chair lift: The sedan chair bearers lift the sedan chair, and both sides make way for the groom's house.

Overturning the sedan chair halfway: intended to block evil spirits.

Mother got off the sedan chair: the ground is covered with a red carpet, and the bride's shoes can't touch the ground.

Three arrows will fix the dry Kun: shoot the sky and pray for God's blessing; Shooting the ground represents eternity; Shoot into the distance and wish you a happy life in the future.

Passing brazier: a symbol of prosperity.

Straddle: Put the apple on the saddle, which means peace.

Visiting the hall: one worships heaven and earth, the other worships Gaotang, and the husband and wife worship each other.

Lift the hijab: Take off the bride's hijab with a scale.

Cheers: it symbolizes that a new couple will become one from now on.

Change the name when offering tea: call each other's parents "parents"

Entering the bridal chamber: dates and chestnuts are served on the table, meaning "early decision"

Third, China traditional wedding supplies

The traditional wedding ceremony in our country is a joyful ceremony, so it is called a celebration. Weddings are decorated with auspicious wedding items. If you paste a red happy character, put a red veil on the bride, put on a red coat and tie red satin on the groom's chest. These auspicious items of red palladium not only bring festive atmosphere to the wedding, but also imply that the wedding day of the newlyweds will become more and more prosperous.

Traditional wedding of Han nationality

The word "faint" in the Book of Rites, formerly named "bang", was named after the wedding of our ancestors at dusk. At this time, the sun and the moon gradually replace each other, which means that "the sun has come to the shade." The Chinese ancestors, who paid attention to the unity of heaven and man, chose such a delicate moment, skillfully interpreted the significance of the wedding, and at the same time brought sacred and pious feelings to this ceremony.

Later, when the word "faint" was added to the word "female" to write "wedding", the kiss was no longer limited to the quiet evening, and of course the sacred consciousness of this ceremony gradually faded.

The faint ceremony is one of the gifts, and the gift is to kiss the people. The wedding of the Zhou Dynasty is a model of the wedding of later generations. The wedding ceremony of later generations developed in the exchange of various foreign cultures, and also incorporated many new customs. However, even though the connotation of verve is easy to change, the structure of the basic ritual system has not changed significantly from accepting gifts to welcoming the bride into the bridal chamber.

According to legend, the earliest marriage and wedding in China began with Fu's marriage and Nu Wa's matchmaking. As "Jing Hua Yuan Wai Ji" said: "There was no difference between men and women in ancient times, and Tai Hao began to set up a wedding ceremony, with the skin of the couple as the gift." Since then, the couple's skin (paired deerskin) has become one of the classic wedding gifts. After that, in addition to the "wedding ceremony", we must also "tell our parents"; During the Xia and Shang Dynasties, there were festivals of "before welcoming the court" and "before welcoming the court". The Zhou Dynasty was an era of etiquette. At that time, a complete set of wedding etiquette was gradually formed. There are detailed regulations in "Yili", which combine the whole set of rituals into "six rituals". Since then, the production of the Six Rites Wedding has been the template of the traditional wedding in China, which has been passed down to this day.

Traditional wedding customs

1. Views on traditional marriage customs

Ancient women were often "born in a boudoir, and no one knows whether they are beautiful or not." After the blind date, the man often asks to have a look. This activity is called "meeting relatives", and the man goes to the woman's house for the first time under the matchmaker's non-staple food. It was dubbed "blind date".

The date of the blind date is set by the matchmaker in advance and notified to both men and women, so both sides should be prepared. The man should prepare a little gift according to the hobby of the woman's parents; Women should clean the courtyard and get ready for guests. As parties, both men and women should try to dress elegantly and resplendent, so as to leave a good "first impression" on each other.

Seeing relatives is the key to the success of marriage, especially the man, so be careful. Although gifts are nothing more than alcohol, tobacco and snacks, regardless of the quantity and value, you must give them what you like and not violate the taboos of the other parents; Dressing should be generous and fashionable; Be modest and polite in your words and deeds.

In ancient times, when men met relatives, they could only rely on matchmakers to create opportunities to secretly see girls. It's different now. Both men and women can talk directly. Both sides have the opportunity to have a preliminary understanding of each other.

China is a "state of propriety and righteousness", and it pays attention to implication. The results of visiting relatives are often not directly expressed, but expressed through various hints. In many places, after the man enters the door, the woman's parents first pour the young man a cup of hot tea. Seeing that the girl was amused, the young man drank this cup of tea in one gulp. Then the girl's parents discuss with the girl. If they agree to get married, they will leave the man for dinner with the matchmaker. If they don't agree, they will let the man leave and go home. Some parents even asked the matchmaker to take away the gifts brought by the man. In some areas, besides visiting relatives, there is also the custom of "observing others". In fact, "visiting others" is also to visit relatives. The man was led by the matchmaker to the woman's home where he had seen the girl, and the woman's parents temporarily refused to express their views on the marriage, and then the matchmaker took him back to the man's home. Qiyang area is called "Kandang". Look at that time, the man's parents should offer a cup of fragrant tea first, and then talk to the woman's parents. The wife's parents visit the man's house and talk to his parents. If they agree to this marriage, they will drink all the fragrant tea. The man's parents immediately regarded him as "in-laws" and treated the guests warmly. Otherwise, the woman's parents should get up and leave, and the man should not stay.

2. Traditional wedding customs.

After "seeing one's relatives" and "seeing one's death", it is necessary to perform the engagement formalities, commonly known as "gift".

The first step of "Li Guo" is that the matchmaker sends the man's birthday to the woman, and the woman's eighth birthday to the man. Some superstitious parents think that they are responsible for their children's marriage, and often ask the fortune teller to calculate after receiving the red post to see if the "date of birth" of both parties is consistent, if not; Marriage will be reconsidered. Fortunately, most modern people don't believe this, so even if red posts are exchanged, they are often just a form, and some even avoid the form of changing posts.

After "changing posts" and "matching eight characters", the matchmaker should choose a good date and get engaged with the man as a gift.

Giving gifts is a big deal. Generally, the active person (male or female) who gets married should give each other a heavy gift. The gift should at least include a pig elbow, a pair of wine, a chicken and a duck, and a suit for other parents. A pair of shoes and socks, a package, and some things for girls. How much money to seal in the envelope and what engagement gift to give the girl are generally negotiated by the matchmaker in advance, not as much as the man (or woman) can give. Of course, the parents of the man or woman should also try their best to think of each other, strive to be frugal and accept less dowry.

3. Media articles about traditional marriage customs

In feudal society, men and women "give and receive without kissing", emphasizing that "there is no cloud and rain in the sky and no marriage on the ground". Generally speaking, both men and women should have a good discussion before "tying the knot", "harmonious Qin Jin", "tying the knot" and "living in harmony". This combination is called "matchmaking". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, "matchmaking" was renamed "introduction". People who do this kind of matchmaking work are called "Yue Lao", commonly known as "matchmaker" and later renamed "introducer".

"Old Moon" is the abbreviation of "Old Moon". According to the novel of the Tang Dynasty, a scholar named Wei Gu passed by Song Cheng in the evening and met an old man sitting on the side of the road, with a big pocket in his hand, reading a big book in the moonlight. Wei Gu asked him kindly what book he was looking for. The old man replied that this is the marriage certificate of everyone in the world. Gu Wei asked the old man what was in his big pocket.

The old man replied, "If you tie men's and women's feet with a red rope, as long as you tie a man's and a woman's feet on the red rope, even a sworn enemy or a stranger thousands of miles away will definitely form a husband and wife." Therefore, people say that "a thousand miles of marriage is a thread." "If the elderly don't need the red line under the moon, they can't go to another place." It can be seen that people are in awe of the matchmaker.

The matchmaker is also called "matchmaker". The biography of Yingying written by Yuan Zhen, a talented scholar in the Tang Dynasty, created a clever and lively image of a handmaid matchmaker. She carefully planned again and again, and finally contributed to the marriage between Zhang Sheng and Yingying. Based on this story, Wang Shifu wrote Yuan zaju "The West Chamber", in which the image of the matchmaker is more vivid and lovely. People use "red"

"Niang" is called the matchmaker, which shows the importance and friendliness to the matchmaker.

Matchmaking is not an easy task, as can be seen from the fact that matchmakers are called "Iceman" and "Ice Axe". According to the Book of Jin, I dreamed that I was on the ice, talking to people under the ice. Suo's explanation of this dream is: "You talk to people under the ice on the ice, which symbolizes that you are reconciling Yin and Yang. To reconcile yin and yang is to be a matchmaker, and you will be a matchmaker for others. " But this media is not easy to do. You have to melt the ice with your enthusiasm before both men and women can get married. "It seems that matchmaking requires enthusiasm and perseverance.

In the old-fashioned wedding, the matchmaker is also called "Wako", and the matchmaker is "holding Keke", which proves that the matchmaker is an indispensable role. The Book of Songs chants: "How about cutting Ke? There is no axe to cut. How did you marry that wife? Media is not allowed. " It means: "How can I cut off a big branch?" Don't chop without an axe; How can I get my wife? You can't get married without a matchmaker "

Matchmaking is a skill. The matchmaker should not only be familiar with the basic situation of men and women and their families, but also make every effort to propose marriage. Moreover, he must basically and accurately reflect each other's situation to both men and women and their parents, try his best to hide evil and promote good, so that both sides can fully understand each other's strengths and are willing to reach a marriage agreement. In other words, if you want to live, you must have a matchmaker's mouth. To be a matchmaker, you should be diligent in running errands. From the day you begin to bridge the gap between men and women, you should always shuttle between men and women, exchange information, convey each other's wishes and demands, and prevent accidents. Traditionally, both men and women have the obligation to entertain the matchmaker, and it is not an exaggeration for the country people to say that "the matchmaker has a hundred meals". It can be seen that it is diligent in running.

The matchmaker plays an important role in the old-fashioned wedding. After both men and women have basically reached an agreement on marriage, he should guide the man on a blind date, send a modified Geng sticker on behalf of both parties, guide the man to get engaged, choose an auspicious day for marriage, guide the man to take over the marriage, and assist the wedding ceremony until the couple enters the house, and then throw the "matchmaker" over the wall. The media said it well, and both sides were satisfied. In the future, they often exchanged views and became old friends. If the media doesn't speak well and both sides are dissatisfied, they will often blame the matchmaker and be regarded as passers-by from now on.

As a matchmaker, the matchmaker can get some money, which is called a "thank you gift". Money is usually paid by the man (if the man goes to the woman's house, it is paid by the woman). The day before the wedding, together with chickens, elbows, shoes and socks, and cloth, they are sent to the matchmaker's house. The matchmaker must guide the next day and call it "round media" or "initiating media" or "sending media". The amount of money to thank the media depends on the financial situation of the host family, but no matter how much, it needs to be sealed with red paper, which is called "red envelope" or "envelope". It is customary to write "envelope label" on red envelopes.