Girlfriend bedtime jokes and short stories

I like the story of putting his girlfriend to bed.

Love stories about putting your girlfriend to bed are:

1, boars and sows

Once upon a time, there were two pigs, a male and a female. The boar always guards the sows at night because he is afraid that his master will pull them out and kill them while they are sleeping. As the days passed, the sows gradually gained weight and the boars became thinner day by day.

One day, the boar suddenly heard the owner discussing with the butcher to kill and sell the growing sow. The boar was extremely sad, so from that day on, the boar's temperament changed greatly. Whenever the owner brings food, the boar always rushes up and eats it completely. After eating well every day, he lay down to sleep and told the sow that it was her turn to keep watch. If he finds out that she is not on duty, he will never talk to her again.

As the days passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her. The sow was disappointed, but the boar lived a stable life as if nothing had happened.

Soon, a month passed, and the owner took the butcher to the pigsty. He found that a month ago, the fat sow had little meat left, but the boar was shining. At this time, the boar ran desperately to attract the owner's attention and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher took the wild boar away.

The moment the pig was dragged out of the pigsty, the boar smiled and said to the sow, "Don't eat so much in the future." The sow was heartbroken and rushed out desperately, but the fence door had been closed by the owner. ......

2. Tofu and twist

Twist is ready to confess to the bean bag, "That ... you are so fat."

Bean bag is unhappy, "Oh."

Twist rubbed his hands and said, "You … you are white … white and fat …"

Bean bag glared at him. "I know!"

Drizzt is a little nervous. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I want to say ...", and Doubao scrambled to say, "You've lost weight! You have lost weight! "

Drizzt scratched his head and whispered, "I mean, you must be easily hugged ..."

5. A spoonful of ice cream

"Eat a spoonful of ice cream and you will become a pig like me." The pig raised its hoof to warn the wolf.

"Stupid pig like you will believe you! Just ice cream, it's amazing. " The wolf held down the trotters and ate a spoonful of ice cream.

Knock, knock, knock. The wolf turned into a pig with black ruby eyes, big ears and a crooked tail.

"Ah ah, how did I become a pig!" The little gray pig gave a "small voice" of surprise.

"Because, because I made this ice cream, I gave it the magic of' people who eat it will accompany me all my life'." The pig snorted and laughed.

Ⅱ Girlfriend's bedtime story

Story 1

The bus has arrived at the station. Announcer: Please take your valuables off the bus. He said to her, "Let's go, valuables."

Story 2

In the subway. Dad is holding a big Doraemon doll, and his son is holding a small one. The son greedily looked at the one in his father's hand. Dad said, "Be good, don't make any noise. This is for mom. "

Story 3

Girls like to be late. Every time she is late, the boy sitting behind her will laugh at her little fool. Many years later, the boy was promoted to manager.

At the end of a recruitment, a woman came in panting. "I'm sorry I'm late." The man was surprised and smirked, "Little fool."

Story 4

Once, the king held a banquet for the beautiful princess. A soldier stood by and saw the princess pass by him. He fell in love with her at once. But how can a humble soldier deserve a king's daughter?

One day, he finally managed to get close to her and told her that she could not live without her. The princess was moved by his love. She said to the soldiers, if you can wait for me 100 days and wait for me under the balcony day and night, 100 days later I will be yours.

Hearing this, the soldier waited under the balcony for a day, two days, ten days and twenty days. Every night, the princess poked her head out, but he still stood all night. Rain and snow can't resist him The bird stopped on his head and the bee stung him, but he didn't move.

But ... on the 90 th day, the soldier was all ... pale and thin, and tears flowed from his eyes. He can't support himself, and he even has no strength to sleep. The princess kept looking at him. Finally, on the night of the ninetieth day, the soldier stood up, lifted his chair and left.

Story 5

A pair of long-lost lovers met by chance in a foreign country.

He asked: How are you? She replied, I'm fine. He asked: How is he? She replied: He's fine. How are you? she asked. He replied, I'm fine. She asked: How is she? He replied: She just told me that she was fine.

Do you know any short stories that can make your girlfriend fall asleep?

1, commitment

After three years of love, he never gave her a promise, or hinted at it several times, but just smiled without saying a word. This year, on the train home, because her home was several stops in front of his, she said "Call me when you get to the station" and then went to sleep.

A few hours later, he woke her up: "Here we are." She looked out of the window and saw strange scenery. Don't overdo it. It was his coquetry smile: "My mother asked me to take you home."

2. Unrequited love

He is a good student with good grades. She is a lazy student and likes to play around. In the new semester, they became deskmates. He always squints or winks at her, never looks directly at her, but hums through his nostrils when listening to her jokes.

She was angry at his lifeless appearance, and went around saying that he secretly loved her like revenge. When he heard the rumor, he blocked her in the corner. She was so scared that she just wanted to hold her head and beg for mercy, but she actually saw him blush: "When did you know?"

3. Mr rabbit

The rabbit girl asked Mr. Rabbit, if not a rabbit, what do you want to be? Mr. rabbit said, you can do anything. Being a tiger can protect you, being a star can protect you when you sleep, being a firefly can give you light, being a raccoon can make good friends with you, but I want to be a rabbit most, because you are also a rabbit. Only rabbits and rabbits can chew carrots together.

Step 4 be responsible for each other

He plays basketball well and is handsome. He is a campus idol. She is alive and kicking and is friends with every boy except him-she is nervous when talking to him. To get close to him, she chose basketball.

The teacher asked him to teach everyone to lay up. He was standing under the basket, and she patted the ball as she ran. The ball jumped into his face and her heart was pounding. He squatted down, clutching his nose, and she cried in panic, "What to do!" " He looked up with a smile in his eyes and said, "You should make a promise. "

5. The story of the king

Once upon a time, there was a king. His queen bore him two daughters. One slept in midsummer 18 years, and the other grew 18 years. The one who slept was as beautiful as a fairy, and the other was mediocre. The princess who slept for 18 years married the prince, and the other one was unwanted.

What does this story tell us? Sleeping can be beautiful and you can marry a prince. Although you are a princess, you must have enough sleep to be beautiful. Can my princess sleep now?

Ⅳ jokes or short stories that put girls to sleep.

If you want to go.

Once upon a time, there were two little pigs who lived carefree all day. They love each other. Every day when the host brings them to dinner, the boar always lets the sow eat first, and then goes up to eat the sow's leftovers when the sow is full. Every night, the boar always keeps an eye on the sows because he is afraid that his master will pull them out and kill them when they are asleep. As the days passed, sows became fatter and boars became thinner. One day, the boar suddenly heard that the owner was discussing with the butcher to kill and sell the growing sow. The boar was extremely sad, so from that day on, the boar's temperament changed greatly. Whenever the owner brings food, the boar always grabs it and eats it all. After eating well every day, he lay down to sleep and told the sow that she was going to keep watch now. If he finds that she is not on guard, he will never pay attention to her again. As the days passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her. The sow was disappointed, but the boar lived a happy life as if nothing had happened. A month passed quickly, and the owner came to the pigsty with the butcher. He found that a month ago, the fat sow was thin and had little meat left, while the boar was shiny. At this time, the boar ran desperately, trying to attract the owner's attention and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher dragged the boar away.

At the moment he pulled out the pigsty, the boar smiled and said to the sow, don't eat so much in the future. The sow was so sad that she rushed out desperately, but the enclosure door was closed by the owner and the fence was put aside. The sow looked at the tearful boar. That night, the sow looked at her master's house and ate pork happily. The sow lies sadly in the place where the boar sleeps every day. Suddenly, she found a line on the wall: "If love can't be expressed in words, I am willing to prove it with my life"! When the sow saw this line, human beings were moved by this sad love story. To commemorate this love, the girls also said that they had not forgotten the wild boar's will before leaving, "Don't eat so much in the future."

Ⅳ Ask to tell some jokes or stories to girls before going to bed.

1. On the first day of class, the English teacher announced: "From tomorrow on, all my English classes will be in English, and I will no longer speak in Chinese." The students objected one after another: "Teacher, our poor English listening will make us unable to understand." The teacher said, "Don't worry about not understanding. You listen to me speak English every day, and you will naturally understand it after a long time. " I raised my hand and said, "Teacher, I listen to my dog barking every day, and I don't know what it is saying today."

2. Teacher: "Our pollution control is natural." Classmate: "Why do you say that?" Teacher: "The garbage is blown by the wind and the sewage is evaporated."

3. Teacher: What did the victory of the Sad Warrior give us? Student: When the victory is uncertain, the crying soldier can cry the other side down and finally win. Crying twice and hanging up three times is the magic weapon of war.

4. Teacher: "Lily, your problem is the improper use of words. Now test you, please use one sentence to describe that I am very happy. " Lily: "The teacher is smiling in the grave."

The math teacher talked about congruence and similarity of triangles, and then asked the students: What is congruence? What is similarity? I fell asleep and didn't listen to a word. All this is in vain! When I was asleep, I seemed to listen a little, as if I didn't hear anything. Deja vu.

6. Senior three! June is not far away, time is getting faster and faster, clothes are getting less and less, the college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, and the grades are getting worse and worse! My heart! The weather is getting colder and colder!

7. A science teacher was assigned to work in a remote mountain village school. In the first class, he told the students what modern science is and how it promotes human progress. He also talked about spaceships and how people landed on the moon. After class, he asked the students what questions they had. "Teacher," a student asked, "when can there be a bus in our village?"

8. Dialogue I heard in the canteen: (A boy finishes his meal) What is this? Fried meat with potatoes. What is fried with potatoes? Fried meat with potatoes. What is fried with potatoes? Fried meat with potatoes. What is fried with potatoes? Meat ... (Finally the cook woke up and added some meat to the boy)

ⅵ Ask some short stories or jokes to put your girlfriend to sleep, which is warm and lovely. thank you

Two people are chatting in the dormitory. One said, what would you do if you met a beautiful MM and there were only two of you in the room? Just listen to the half-asleep buddy next to me and say, stop it, let's go to bed ~

ⅶ Ask for humorous stories: tell jokes to your girlfriend.

1

Sunflower Lai Lai always looks listless, and everyone doesn't know why.

I had to persuade him to try to do photosynthesis during the day.

But Riley has his own little secret. Every night he looked at the moon alone and said in a voice that no one could hear.

"But I just like you."

five

Fox's teeth and claws are so sharp that many small animals are afraid of her.

She is busy every day, busy foraging, busy shuttling on the Yuan Ye, busy taking a bath in the pond,

Gradually, some bold animals began to want to be friends with her, but she politely refused every time.

Just occasionally curled up in her beautiful warm red tail,

She will consider not being friends. What if she hurts them?

Tell your girlfriend a short story before going to bed.

Give you five short stories.

1, the situation is different.

A pig, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral. Once, the shepherd caught the pig, and it screamed loudly and resisted fiercely. Sheep and cows hate its howling, so they say, "He often scratches us, but we don't bark. The pig replied, "catching you and catching me are two different things." He only wants your hair and milk, but catching me is killing me! "!

It is difficult for people with different positions and different environments to understand each other's feelings; Therefore, we should not gloat over the setbacks, setbacks and pains of others, but should have a feeling of care and understanding. Have a tolerant heart!

Step 2 independently

The little snail asked his mother: Why do we have to bear this hard and heavy shell when we are born?

Mom: Because our bodies have no bones to support, we can only climb, but we can't climb fast. So we need the protection of this shell!

Snail: Sister Caterpillar has no bones and can't climb fast. Why doesn't she have to carry this hard and heavy shell?

Mom: Because sister caterpillar can become a butterfly, the sky will protect her.

Snail: but brother earthworm can't climb fast without bones, and he won't become a butterfly. Why doesn't he carry this hard and heavy shell?

Mom: Because Brother Earthworm can drill soil, the earth will protect him.

The little snail began to cry: we are so poor that the sky is unprotected and the land is unprotected.

Mother snail comforted him: "so we have shells!" We don't rely on the sky, we don't rely on the ground, we rely on ourselves.

3. sharks and fish

Someone once did an experiment, putting the fiercest shark and a group of tropical fish in the same pool, and then separating them with tempered glass. At first, sharks kept hitting the invisible glass every day, but in vain. It can never cross the other side. The experimenter puts some crucian carp in the pool every day, so the shark is not short of prey, but it still wants to try the delicious taste on the other side. It still keeps hitting the glass every day. It tried every corner and tried its best every time, but it was always scarred. Several times, it was bleeding and lasted for several days. Whenever the glass breaks, the experimenter immediately adds thicker glass.

Later, sharks stopped hitting the glass and paying attention to colorful tropical fish, as if they were just moving the murals on the wall. It began to wait for the crucian carp that appeared every day, and then hunted with its agile instinct, as if it had returned to the sea, but all this was just an illusion. At the last stage of the experiment, the experimenter took the glass away, but the shark didn't respond. Swimming in a fixed area every day, it not only turns a blind eye to those tropical fish, but even when those crucian carp escape there, it immediately gives up chasing, indicating that it never wants to go there again. At the end of the experiment, the inspectors laughed at it as the most cowardly fish in the sea.

But people who have been lovelorn know why, and they are afraid of pain.

4. Miracles

In a remote town in France, it is said that there is a particularly effective spring, and miracles often occur, which can cure various diseases. One day, a veteran who was on crutches and lost a leg limped across the street in the town. The villagers nearby gave a sympathetic kiss back and said, "Poor guy, is he going to pray to God for another leg?" This sentence was heard by veterans. He turned to them and said, "I don't want to ask God for a new leg, but I want to ask him to help me and let me know how to live without one." 」

Imagine: learn to be grateful for the lost and accept the lost fact. Regardless of the gains and losses of life, always make your life full of light and glory, stop crying for the past and work hard for a high live and high life.

5. fishing rod

An old man is fishing by the river. A child walked by to watch him go fishing. The old man is very skilled, so he soon caught a basket full of fish. The old man thinks the child is cute and wants to give him the whole basket of fish. The child shook his head. The old man asked in surprise, "Why not?" "The child replied," I want the fishing rod in your hand. The old man asked, "What do you need a fishing rod for?" The child said, "This basket of fish will be finished soon. If I had a fishing rod, I could fish by myself and eat it all my life. 」

I think you will say: What a clever boy. Wrong. If he only wants a fishing rod, he can't eat any fish. Because he doesn't know fishing skills, it's useless to have a fishing rod, because fishing is not important. People who have too many fishing skills think that with a fishing rod in their lives, they are no longer afraid of the wind and rain on the road and will inevitably fall on the muddy ground. It's like a child looking at the old man and thinking that as long as there is a fishing rod, there will be endless fish, just like a clerk looking at the boss and thinking that as long as he sits in the office, money will roll in.

ⅸ Are there any jokes about putting your girlfriend to sleep?

The joke of putting your girlfriend to sleep is as follows:

1, an illiterate woman, went to see a doctor the next day after her marriage. The doctor asked: Did you eat yesterday? I took eight birth control pills. The doctor asked: Why not take the medicine according to the instructions? Answer: Just take the medicine according to the instructions. It says one tablet at a time! The doctor suddenly fell to the ground.

2. The dean said to a mental patient: This time you saved a man who fell into the water, and your performance was very good. Unfortunately, he hanged himself again. The mental patient proudly said, I hung him to dry.

3. The psychologist asked the patient, "You hear some voices, but you don't know who is talking or where the voices come from?" "yes." "When did this happen?" "When I answered the phone."

4. Dr. Li in obstetrics and gynecology has been practicing medicine for many years, and through hard work, many infertile families have children. Recently, he received a thank-you plaque engraved with four golden characters-out of thin air.

I wonder if you noticed the doctor's handwriting when you happened to be ill and went to the hospital to see a doctor? Generally speaking, it is a dragon and phoenix dance, which makes people confused and confused. So I admire the nurses in internal medicine. They always know what medicine to take. Once, a doctor friend of mine wrote me a letter and invited me to dinner. I can recognize some words in the letter, but I can't recognize the key time and place. I ran to the pharmacy of a nearby hospital and gave the letter to the nurse to help me recognize it. She looked at it carefully for a long time, brought me two bottles of medicine and said, "this, twice a day!" " "

6. One day, an ophthalmologist and a physician quarreled. The ophthalmologist said, "Be careful that I make you as blind as a bat." The doctor said, "I will make you heartless."

7. Someone was bitten by a dog and went to the hospital to take medicine. The doctor is getting ready to leave work: look at the time. Don't you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn't understand!

8. In front of the cloth counter, after the clerk patiently tore the cloth into small pieces according to the customer's requirements, the customer asked the clerk to tie these small pieces of cloth into knots. Finally, the clerk couldn't stand it. She said, "Are you mentally ill?" "Yes, I have a hospital certificate."

9. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital examination?" "Yes, his house and car are gone." "I'm going to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

10, in the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

1 1. When I was in middle school, a buddy took me to the bookstore and proudly asked the boss, "Is there Liu Bei?" I was wondering when the boss dug out two yellow books from the corner and handed them over. On the way back, I asked, "Why is Uncle Huang called Liu Bei?" He whispered to me, "Uncle".

12, the students went on a trip and climbed to the top of the mountain. A girl stood on the top of the mountain very excitedly and shouted: motherland, my mother! Then a boy who secretly loves this girl shouted excitedly: motherland, my mother-in-law.

13. I saw a bound crab climb from the freezer of 18.9 yuan to the cabinet of 28.9 yuan in the supermarket. I was in tears. You are so fucking motivated!

14, Confucius, Mozi, Laozi, met the Jade Emperor. The jade emperor is taking a bath with the queen mother. Confucius and Mozi peeped under the window and were discovered by the Jade Emperor. The jade emperor sighed with emotion: "I'd better be an old man, honest man!" " Confucius and Mozi replied, "No, I'm short! He went to move bricks. "

15, Somali pirates: "Three million dollars a price!" China official: "2.5 million! Pirate: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you said 250 is a curse! " China official: "Three million is three million! But the invoice should say seven million! " The pirate's eyes were full of tears and he held up his thumb: "You still insist on robbing money! ! ! "

16, it hasn't rained in a certain place for many years. A farmer went to ask a fortune teller: When will it rain? The fortune teller handed him a folded piece of paper and said, "This is a secret, and it must not be revealed. You can't see it until it rains, otherwise it will thunder. " Three days later, it finally began to rain. The farmer remembered the fortune teller's words and took out a piece of paper, which said, "It's raining today." The farmer was startled and said, "What a man of God!

17, when I was in high school, I envied the university as long as I was admitted. When I was in college, I envied myself for failing high school.

18. After watching the black 100-meter run, an old lady said with tears, she was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, but they fired without aiming. The children ran in fear, and the rope couldn't stop them!

19, inspector of CPC Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, is related to the country. He went to the west for investigation and visit. He only took three followers, never used a police car to escort people, never used public funds to eat and drink, and sometimes even went begging ... He traveled to the West for many years and met many foreign heads of state, which made great achievements. After returning home, he didn't ask for a promotion. He taught and did good deeds all his life, and after his death he had no property. He is the Tang priest.

20. Why is crossing the bridge rice noodles more expensive than ordinary rice noodles? Because of the bridge toll.

References://Wen Ku. /link? URL = uwn 94k 698 _ gru qx 0 w-JKR onj 3 hrgdu 7 e 7 _ _

ⅹ A joke story that amuses his girlfriend.

A joke story that amuses his girlfriend;

1, a beautiful new female colleague came and a male colleague coughed twice in front of her. She said very gently, "Have a cold?" My colleague was a little excited: "Well, a little!" Female colleague: "Then you stay away from me."

My son is watching TV with his father. After watching the Youlemei advertisement, my son learned from the heroine and asked his father, what am I to you? Dad said: You are my impulsive punishment.

3. Watching TV with her husband, a man said to a woman: Don't be so fierce. Do you know that gentleness is the most beautiful dress for women? After listening to this sentence, my husband looked at me faintly and said, daughter-in-law, you don't even have a pair of underwear! Me: ...

Today, my roommate told me that he was looking for the key in the dormitory for a long time and was about to collapse. I said, "understand this feeling, keys, glasses, wallet, mobile phone." Everyone will have an experience that they can't find, and then they will be crazy and close to collapse. " The roommate nodded, and then said, "There is one thing far worse than them." I asked what it was. The roommate said with tears in his eyes, "Objection!"

5. Follow me on WeChat: Hello, look at your photos. How do you keep it in your daily life? Wei You: P's. Me. . .

6. What are you doing? M: I am studying together for a happy event. I'm so bored. Woman: How can it be boring? There must be many people, right? M: It's no use talking too much. They like playing cards as well as drinking. I am the only free person. W: So what do you like? Man: I love you!

7. A girl asked me to deliver a courier for her and gave me an empty carton for me to pack. I asked her curiously, "Who is this for?" She said, "A boy I have liked for a long time." I'm confused. "But there is nothing in it. She said only I could see something. I am even more puzzled after listening to it. She asked her what it was. She said, "A box of wishes! "

8. Life is a practice. What good things have you done to benefit others and yourself? ""Every time I watch *** P, it will be sent out. " "Your merits are boundless. "

9. My son is in a big class. His aunt came to play at home and teased him: everyone is in the kindergarten class. Do you have a girlfriend? Son: Haven't you found it yet? Aunt: What are you pinching? Son: I'm going to primary school soon, so I have to re-divide classes. Now I can't find stability. . . Me. . .

10. Every time my relatives and friends ask me "Are you looking for someone?" I will go to his children quietly and politely, and then ask kindly, "How much is the final exam?" You know, the pain needs to be transferred. . . The child said, "Uncle, my girlfriend got the first place and I got the second place. By the way, uncle, do you have a girlfriend? . . "I ... . .