Humorous short messages during the Spring Festival

0 1. In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you bowed your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, so young to come out to release pigs!

02. Do you know, dear? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... who doesn't want to let their pigs kill a few kilograms more!

03. At the moment I left, you cried helplessly and tore your heart out behind me, making me suddenly understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you: I'm not selling this pig!

04. A cricket and a pig bet that you couldn't see me when I jumped into the grass. The pig said, What should I see? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching? !

05. The wolf came to the pigsty, which was a mess. Mother pig arranged: the big pig will block the door! Second pig, block the window! When she saw the pig, Mother Pig got angry and shouted: Third, don't read the news! You are fleshy, go out and draw the wolf away.

06. Cry silly. Are the happy days over? I warned you not to be greedy, but you just wouldn't listen. Now you should remember that pigs will be slaughtered when they reach a certain weight.

07. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can. Not every tree can be thirsty, but poplar can; Not every pig can receive the text message, but you did it.

08. The tortoise and the rabbit race, and the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast?

09. There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said that a big pig will fall from the sky. Unfortunately, I want to sleep, so you will be fine. So many people watch you fly!

10. Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow!

1 1. A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at MINUS 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either!

12. When Tang Priest took a break with his three disciples, Tang Priest went to Pig Bajie and said angrily, "You pig head, you still have leisure to read short messages!"

The portrayal of your life: at the age of ten, you can take a bath-pigs can clean themselves, at the age of twenty, you can dress up-pigs can flourish, at the age of thirty, you can work-pigs can have a career, at the age of forty, they can have servants, and at the age of fifty, they can shoot-pigs can throw.

I don't want to be your parallel line, I can only wait and see with you all my life; I don't want to be your cross line. After a moment of tenderness, I will go further and further. I just want to be in a straight line with you, and I want to drive you into the pigsty!

The north wind is blowing again. You are always so careless. Every time I remind you to put on more clothes, you always answer me disdainfully: what is my thick pigskin for? Still afraid of the breeze?

The sun has risen, the troubles have passed, and you will be full of energy to meet a beautiful day, ok! Get out of the nest! Shake pig hair, wash pig face and work hard for feed!

Tea, drink strong, until the fragrance is especially strong; It's hard to make it through hard work: people must have deep feelings and can't love again until the next life; Pig's trotters, fresh, hehe, this one with a mobile phone is not bad!

Before, I only knew that pigs could not talk, so I knew hum. Later, when I met you, I realized that you could hum better than pigs. I was just talking about you, and you were humming!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at MINUS 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either!

Baby pig's echo: you are glad to have to. Pigs are literate, well-educated and very popular. The first thing you know is that you make it clear, and if you believe it short, you will understand. I read about pigs, which is well-founded in the world of pigs.

Wait for a subway, five minutes; Watch a movie for three hours; Look at the full moon, January; Miss someone for life! But a caring word only takes a few seconds: it's cold, put more grass in the nest!

Read in Sichuan dialect: On the night of crossing the black area, Tou Lanhu jumped into the canal and threw Li to the ground, but he risked you and others for Mota. Because it has four axes, it doesn't live in a building!

A little pig is about to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch it maliciously. But the pig said impassioned, what is there to be afraid of dying? When I finish reading this message. Hmm. How interesting

God didn't give pigs wisdom because he wanted them to be happy. So, you must be happy.

Fat as a pig, aren't you upset? Being lazy like a pig is a crime? Stupid as a pig, poor? Of course not, you are a pig! Do whatever you want!

You fought a wild boar and got kicked in the head. The wild boar said, grandma! Domestic pigs still want to kill wild boar!

It turns out that I really fell in love with you for a long time! But I'm afraid that one day you will leave me. Why can't you cherish this fate after you really choose it? I want to be together forever, but the police uncle said that pigs are not allowed in the city!

One day, Bajie asked Tang Priest: Master, is this world really the ugliest for me? The Tang Priest turned pale and said, Ask Sister Guanyin! Bajie came back from Guanyin and asked cheerfully, Hehe, Master, who is # #? Ha ha!

It is late at night, and the pig is crying sadly. Mother asked, why are you crying? I feel stupid, said the pig. Mother comforted him: don't cry, son, the person reading this message is even more stupid than you!

Solve the riddle on the lantern: you stand with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant.

A pair of lovers together is called very much in love, a pair of lovers together is called eternal knot concentric, and you are simple, you and a pig together are called pairs.

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will always sigh loudly-pig!

You went to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste and left. The cashier looked at your background and sighed: the world has changed, and pigs have evolved to brush their teeth!

They all say that pigs are lazy, but I don't think so. At least now, I found a pig reading a text message.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been correct: A = B, B = C, so A = C, you = animal, animal = pig, so you = pig.

New signs in the animal world: ants rape African elephants, lions sell mala Tang, mice play with snakes, sharks and donkeys go shopping, pigs are crazier and pretend to be hooligans with mobile phones. Hey, you, look, Demo!

I called you a pig the other day, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Later, you finally couldn't stand it, yelling at me in front of many people, "I'm not a pig."

You are a chubby pig who received this message. Delete this message. You are a black African pig. Reply to this message. You are a Rwandan wild boar. If you don't return, you will be a Ukrainian white pig. If it is stored, it will be an American sick pig. Hey, what do you do?

Sunrise+Sunset = Moon in the morning and evening+Stars = Infinitely missed wind flowers+Snowy Moon = Tender and sweet meteor+Heart words = Blessing you in Qian Qian+Charcoal = Delicious suckling pig.

Strange, really strange! Last time I accidentally spilled half a pot of boiling water on your hand, you said nothing, it didn't hurt at all! Later, I checked the proverb to know that dead mice are not afraid of cold!

Cobra is highly myopic. After the first date with the elephant, the cobra said to the elephant's nose, Come on, it's very kind of you to bring such a big pig. By the way, this pig is called # #?

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am worried because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you to ............ Pig!

I have been by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

I have always had a soft spot for you, and your face has always appeared in front of me! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly: boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to see you leave? How many warm and happy times we spent together, but today we are going to break up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: wait a minute, I'm not selling this pig.

I miss you day after day, and I am still lonely. When will the beautiful dream appear? Honey, I really want to see you! But I just can't find you living in that pigsty! Dead pigs can't sleep well. Get up and go back to sleep

There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those who keep at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read information are called stupid pigs, those who laugh are called stupid pigs, those who ignore me are called dead pigs, and those who don't reply to information are not as good as ~ ~ ~

The weather changes for free, be careful to catch cold, and care about you again: you should quit taking off your clothes; Second, the exit is late; Three cold drinks; Under the temptation is picky eaters; Five precepts of cold water bath; 6. Abstinence from alcohol; Seven commandments to climb the quilt; Do you understand, Bajie?

If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world dies, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you with tears; If I leave, I will let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really.

The falling rain triggered my infinite thinking. To put it bluntly, I miss you When the weather is fine, I'll take you to that meadow, but it's agreed in advance that only pigs are allowed to eat grass and no arches are allowed!

There used to be countless friends, and it's the coolest if you think about it. I searched for you in my dream. When I suddenly turned around, you were still in my pig shed, eating grass, beside the tree, your tail wagging. So you're eating my tree, damn it!

I ran into you and was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose pig is so hungry?"

I haven't heard from you for a long time

I always miss you these two days.

I'm a mess

Search all the ponds you like to visit.

Restaurant cabin

Sleeping lawn

Still no news from you.

My heart is broken.

......

How did you lose such a big pig?

My friend said that we would not be happy together.

They advised me to give up you and leave you.

But I really like you and can't bear to leave you.

I fell out with them for this.

Why?

They are allowed to have dogs, but I am not allowed to raise pigs.

Before, I was just an ordinary knight-errant, until I met the most mysterious you in the Jianghu, and a strange coincidence called out your name. Since then, I have become a "pig man" admired by everyone in the Jianghu.

Piggy. Piggy is amazing. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day, and every five bowls reach the bottom. No one dares to compare his weight. Where is the pig? I'm snickering and reading text messages.

The king asked for 100 pigs, but the minister only brought 99 pigs. The king said, "What about 1 pig?" ? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages.

I want to speak my mind when you are happiest. In the warm and romantic New Year, the opportunity has finally come-you look like a pig when you are happy, and more like it when you are angry. Happy new year, pig!

I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can be thirsty, but poplar can; Not every pig can get a text message, but you did it!

There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said that a big pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!

Domestic pigs are kept at home, and those born in the mountains are called wild boars. Those who see this message are all stupid pigs. If the joke is a stupid pig, the angry pig, the dead pig who ignores me, and even the pig who doesn't reply is not as good as it is.

When I turned to leave, you cried helplessly behind me, and the heartbreaking pain made me suddenly understand how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: this pig is not for sale!

I just saw you in the supermarket! You put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: pig's trotters 8 yuan. Do you think the machine is broken? Look, the screen shows 5 yuan's pig head!

You'd better. I miss you again. I'm not angry with you anymore. I think my love for you is deepening every day, because someone told me that ... pork has gone up in price and can be sold at a good price!

Let me ask you a riddle: there are two drops of water on the pig's ass. You can't play a song called ................... and your face is in tears.

I told my mother that I like you, and I want you to come to my house and stay with me day and night, okay? Through the communication these days, I found that I can't live without you, but my mother refused. She said: pigs are not allowed at home!

You look happy when you drag a pig shopping. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

People are really tired when they are alive! You must queue up when you get on the bus. Secret love is really painful. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and work is very tiring. You can't rob it, you have to pay taxes if you earn money, and you have to pay for texting pigs ~!

Busy? Nothing, just want to tell you that I miss you in a way that doesn't bother you! I hope that when you receive this message, you will smile at your mouth, arch your nose and hum twice to let other pigs know that your master likes you best!

A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "pigs encourage beans".

The pig cried sadly. Mother asked: Why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted him: son, don't cry, the person reading this message is even more stupid than you!

There are small raindrops floating in the sky, which seem to laugh at my delusion. Why are you so selfish and cruel that I rack my brains to write a poem full of sadness? Who knew that only pigs and idiots stared at this poem on their mobile phones?

Every time the wind and rain are biting, I ask you to be caring and attentive, and I will send you food in times of famine. Your simple and honest expression excites me. In fact, raising a pig is quite fulfilling!

On this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws a ball. The ball is round. Happy round egg, pig!

Party member Baoquan: I don't drink party wine for a day. I don't know the route. I don't know how to eat party food all day. I don't know how to do my job. I don't know how to fill out the invoice. I don't know how to sign for a day.

Difficulties in fresh-keeping education: criticizing the superior official position is difficult to protect; It is difficult to criticize the relationship at the same level; Criticize yourself and ask for trouble; Criticize subordinates for reducing the number of votes; Criticize her husband, he will mess around; Criticize children who have no pension. What should I do in this situation?

It is said that a blind man was very accurate in fortune-telling, and everyone brought him a pig with faded hair for him to calculate. The blind man was overjoyed and said that hip breadth was a leader with a round belly, a small face and big eyes in contemporary party member. His skin is tender and fresh!