Later, I finally married someone else.

1. The starry sky in his eyes is the best I have ever seen.

In 2006.

I 14 years old. When my parents divorced, his appearance filled the missing warmth in my heart.

However, I don't have a good-looking face or a good-looking figure. On the contrary, I am a little fat, my skin is twice darker than normal, I smile like a round meat ball, and throwing it into the sea is just a little humble dust. The only enviable thing is that my eyes are as deep as the starry sky, and my eyelashes grow wildly in Just Visiting.

At that time, his eyes were bright and white, and his eyes were cold, as if he were under the vast starry sky at a glance. I think this is probably the best word I can think of to describe him.

I was in Class 6 and he was in Class 2. The intersection of the two floors is only countless times. We-we don't know each other. Later, the grade began to implement the grading system, and fate changed all the tracks from this moment and lasted for a lifetime.

He has all the naughty characteristics of a boy. During the whole deskmate period, I struggled to grow up under his clutches. Standing beside him, looking up can only see his resolute chin and tight lips.

After that, the only thing that I couldn't stand was his hair as thick and long as the pot cover, and his proud beard that made it grow wildly, which instantly made me feel greasy as a middle-aged uncle. I think that's why I didn't fall in love with him at first sight, and that's why I have a throbbing feeling for a long time.

In 2009, summer came, and the phoenix trees on both sides of the path became quieter and quieter. The air was mixed with the fragrance of gardenia and the light green of phoenix trees. The blazing sun shines through the cracks, sparse and multi-toned.

People around me began to separate and promised to see you tomorrow. But we all know goodbye is still far away. Some people, once they turn around, are for life.

This year, we don't have many profound stories, just because there is a distant person in my heart, who is sure that I don't love him. This is the later story.

This year, the senior high school entrance examination ended, and our story ended.

I began to forget him in this small town.

In 2007.

He stayed in Qiaonan Town, and I went further to Munan City.

We are all starting a new life and forgetting the past.

If you ask me what is the bravest thing I have ever done in my life, it is to dare to love and hate, to follow the footsteps of the touched people, to see the scenery he has seen and to follow the road he has taken before glad you came.

Yes, Sanfan once lived in Munan City, and my pursuit is only to get closer to him.

The story of three transgressions and me before is ridiculous. Before and after high school, he ran through my whole young and innocent youth, filling the emptiness of my fantasy and yearning for love. Ignorant others are still at the age of playing house, but they are unscrupulously involved in self-righteous unrequited love, waiting for flowers and fruits.

Please forgive the little girl for watching too many stories about the prince and Cinderella and turning her life into a fairy tale. With the flow and loss of time, the story of San Fan and I landed early and died on the beach. Back and forth, weathered in the years. My first love, also go away.

I think this will probably convince me why I forgot him in Munan City.

But when I return to Qiaonan Town occasionally, I can't see the familiar figure, even though our home is only a few hundred meters away. When I stand outside the former classroom and look at the familiar desks and blackboards, I will think of the lush years and his bright smile, which is deeply engraved in my heart and becomes clearer with the passage of time.

The ugly duckling's inferiority complex is as low as dust.

In 2008.

I am in an awkward and troubled adolescence, with stubborn acne on my face, big pores, shiny face and short and fat figure. This is enough to break a girl's fragile heart.

But I am an exception. But in the time when I fell in love with him later, because of the sequelae left by acne, I was humble enough to hide in the corner where I didn't see the sun all day, gnawing loneliness.

Of course, I am still strong and can face the eyes of thousands of people in school, but because there is no one I like here, I can pretend to be blind. I lived a rich and chic life in Munan City and made a group of friends who were really happy at least at that time. Among them, Xiao Dao was my buddy throughout high school and even hooked up with me later.

Knife, gave me a shameless spirit, taught me a lot of sincere qualities, and he found my unique beauty from the boundless starry sky. He didn't dislike me and understood me.

I heard that he was in love with a tall girl, but there was no intimate contact, even a sweet kiss. At that time, love was pure as snow, regardless of material. Later, I was so lucky and so sorry.

I am still alone, but occasionally I dream of a person, carrying me behind my back, getting farther and farther, and I can't see his face clearly.

The college entrance examination came this year, and we went our separate ways.

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4. Through the dark years, but can't give me light.

In 2009.

He and I went to an inferior university in Chongqing, 30 minutes away, but I have never been to his school, purely because of laziness, but also because I have bouts of acne.

Before college, I was a person who never put on makeup or powder, and my life was very rough. When my little sister started to make up and go out on a date, I suddenly felt an emotion that I had never had before slowly fermenting.

I have hardly seen him, only occasionally chatting on penguins, and over time I became dependent. Since then, our relationship has developed by leaps and bounds, and we have more friends than lovers. At that time, I was very proud of this relationship and used it to prove that there are pure heterosexual feelings in the world.

Later, I learned that there is no pure heterosexual friendship in the world, one is playing dumb and the other is full of stupidity.

That year, I began to lose sleep all night. I am naturally highly sensitive to light and sound. Under the triple torture of my roommate snoring, grinding his teeth and talking in his sleep, I suffered from mild depression. Lying in bed at night, looking at the silent ceiling, crying in despair, looking for various opportunities to commit suicide, but unable to bear to do so. I take medicine every day to keep a light sleep.

All he can do is say some comforting words to relax me and remember those happy people and things. I just listen to his words and think about him every day, thinking about the sunshine that day. He grinned like a flower. Maybe at that moment, my world began to bloom and fell deeply.

A pink worry began to creep in my heart.

In the long torture, I walked through the dark years by mistake. He can take me out of the darkness, but he can't always give me light. These truths are destined to go through vicissitudes of life to wake up.

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His clear appearance sparkled in the thin snow.

20 10 year.

In this life, if you ask me about my most beautiful memory and the person I deeply loved, I will tell you that he stood in the romantic month of June 3, 20 10+ 13, with clear eyes and bright eyes, which have been deeply and clearly imprinted in my mind.

The only thing enviable about universities is that they don't have too many boring homework and free leisure time. After so many years, I'm still glad that during the years of knowing each other, he risked being dropped out of school to accompany me to see a snow.

Cities in the south can't wait for snow, just as one person can't wait for another. Children who grow up in the south long for snow, just as children in the north long for sunshine.

I ran and laughed heartily in the snow, and my feet crunched. The wind and snow roared and fell on my head, face and shoulders. I thought this walk was for growing old together.

My name is next to his name in the snow, just like forever, the homeland matches the wilderness. I always thought it would last a lifetime. However, I forgot that my world was my whole life when he was here. When he left, I lost the whole world.

Just before I left, I begged my friend to take the only photo of us in my life. Years later, when I looked at this photo, tears began to fall and flood.

I loved, hated and loved, but in the end I couldn't beat us walking in time.

He doesn't know how much I want to say I love him after all these years.

6. The bravest thing I have ever done is to love you.

20 1 1 year.

He went to Sichuan as an intern, a mild city. I'm still at school, and I have a holiday he envies, but the city doesn't have him.

I also found a part-time job, paralyzing myself with busyness, not thinking or studying. Occasionally, he will complain to me about the troubles of work and endless loneliness. He said he was unhappy. So, I set foot on the train to other cities, all the way, just to tell him that I miss him.

No matter what happens now, I don't want to deny the beauty at that time. At least, I really love and refuse to be stubborn.

I have known him for many years, and this is undoubtedly the time when we really get along. He and I slept in the same room, across the 38th parallel and across the sea. Every morning when I wake up, he is beside me, and the sunshine is outside the window. This is the life I want.

It's been a long time, but unfortunately we can't be together, so the advantage is that we can't get the moon. But because of fear, once lost, it is forever.

He has already turned into a refreshing teenager, with bright eyes, clear outline and picturesque eyebrows. When I was a child, my thick hair was turned over, soft and fragrant, and my eyelashes grew wildly in the tunnel of time. Inadvertently, it has grown into the appearance that years like, clean and clear. And I, still forgotten by God in the corner, see the sun all day.

So, in front of him, I never looked him in the eye. However, he was afraid that the persistent acne on his face and the pores big enough to hold water would hinder his eyes, although he said he didn't care. But, ah, he still can't understand how humble and insignificant my love is.

Every night, we would walk along the moat and listen to him talk about all kinds of embarrassing things. In the dark, I peeked at the fiery eyes on his side face. I want to continue like this.

Under the warm yellow street lamp, it is the memory that he took me through. Soft hair, warm and powerful shoulders and strong heartbeat are clearly engraved in my mind.

And that cool morning, I secretly kissed the corner of his mouth, and those pink worries could no longer be hidden.

7. The sentence "I love you" was lost in the fleeting time.

20 12.

I graduated, and after his internship, he returned to this warm city to fight for his life.

I have been looking for a job in a daze, going to work, and the daily necessities in my life have already worn away my original fiery dream and exhausted my heart in the struggle. And he always knew what he wanted, and he worked hard to polish himself and make progress gradually, which also made me panic.

In love, I began to be unworthy of him, and this idea gradually occupied my mind.

Summer has come, the weather in Chongqing has become violent, and the missing heart has become alive and kicking. We are only 30 minutes away, but we have never met often, and we have nothing to say as before. Maybe he began to notice my unusual thoughts and my heart that is no longer simple.

In July, my stomach began to feel too uncomfortable and the pain was unbearable. I went to the hospital for a physical examination. When I woke up from anesthesia, I knew he was around, so I plunged into his arms and fell asleep peacefully. I want to sleep in his arms all my life.

My restless heart is getting hotter and hotter, just like this fiery city.

The sun is setting, and the wicker downstairs is swaying gently with the wind, which makes me feel a little sleepy. The hibiscus flowers on the roadside are warm and gorgeous, just like my persistent love for him. I stood under the hibiscus tree, with wet hair and yellow slippers, looking at him. It fell into his eyes at a glance, swept like the wind, and blushed without a sound table.

On that day, the setting sun stretched the shadow so long that it could not be cut off. He lowered his head, gently kissed the corner of my mouth and left without looking back. I thought he loved me.

After the sweetness, endless indifference gnaws at my loneliness.

8. It doesn't matter if you don't contact me anymore, as long as you are good.

20 13.

That day, just like a beautiful dream came into my life, it was another blow to me and told me to face the sober reality.

He, completely from my life into a transparent scar, invisible, but always in the dead of night, painfully told me that he left, leaving endless thoughts and tears.

I finally understand that love, also pay attention to the right time and place, too early or too late, deep or shallow, shallow or deep, are not just right. It was those tears that flowed in the middle of the night that taught me that if I love too much, my heart will be too painful. Even if I hold someone's hand later, I no longer love others as I loved him at the beginning.

I can finally tell others with tears that the person I love is a contradiction, and I'm afraid I can't be my best friend if I can't be my lover. Those thoughts and love written in strokes under the light have become thick time records, and those heartbreaking tears have remained in sleepless nights. Even if I don't remember them one day, time will be treasured for me.

By 1 1 month, we haven't contacted each other for more than 400 days and nights, and I finally got through the difficult time with nothing to say. I have always stubbornly insisted that he should take the initiative to ask me to forgive his thoughts, and the thick wall built by disappointment in my heart has collapsed bit by bit in the flow and loss of years, and his sadness can only be consumed. His apology is no longer meaningful, as long as he is well.

More than a year of indifference crushed my last nerve, and I became fragile and dignified, thinking only of him. Maybe he's tired of pretending, maybe he loves me. In the busy street, I hugged him with tears in my eyes and never let go for a long time.

I said, I want to love you aboveboard.

9. Wake up from a big dream and lose my love forever.

20 14.

I am always suffering from pain and loss, and I am afraid that one day, he will leave again. If the time in Sichuan is the happiest time, then these days are the happiest and what I am most afraid of.

Because I know he is like a feast for me. If you get together, you will be happy, but if you break up, you will have to break up.

In fact, everyone we meet in this world is just a guest at dinner. Together, we will eventually break up.

How I hope that this moment will become a cloud shortage.

However, the cloud shortage has not yet arrived, and parting is coming.

According to the horoscope, Aries will lose the most important thing in my life this year. I don't believe it, because I always feel that although my life is neither rich nor expensive, it is always heartless. But I forgot that the most important thing may also be people.

This loss, I later learned, is called forever.

I told my parents about him for the first time, whether I wanted to be with him or not. Although I secretly inquired about my parents' wishes, I didn't tell him. Obviously, what they mean is obvious. His parents are also accomplices. Nothing more than family, education, background, experience and other external factors, but I can bear these objections. In the end, the reason why we didn't persist was his sentence that he never loved me.

He doesn't care about me as much as I thought. Now think about it, if he had loved me, would it be different today? However, if this word is a fictional adjective given to us by God.

And I, as he wished, made a good agreement and let go to fulfill his blue sea and blue sky.

It turns out that what the horoscope says is true.

Wake up from a big dream and lose my love forever.

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10. Later, you said you loved me.

20 15.

At the beginning of the year, I asked him to meet in the park of my hometown early in the morning.

Before I met him, I drank in the bar, one after another, and got myself drunk. Nothing, a glass of wine can't solve it.

I don't know when I was on my way to an alcoholic, I paralyzed myself in alcohol again and again, and then I spit my heart out. These, he doesn't know.

Under the street lamp, I waited for his back. A little drunk, stumbling. The wind in the morning, cold and clear, blows on the face, causing pain, and suddenly awakens the role of alcohol.

We have never walked hand in hand like lovers. Even in retrospect, I walked on that short road for a long time, and no one was silent. He never held my hand. He knows that if we can't be together, he can't give me hope.

He, from beginning to end, gave me nothing but despair.

He knows better than I do, or at a deeper level, he may really not love me. However, it doesn't matter whether he loves or not. After all, we really can't. Love will only make each other more miserable, so it is better for one person to suffer than for two people to get drunk.

At the moment of leaving, he gave me a deep hug, and tears fell in my neck, which was cool. He kissed me with despair and deep helplessness.

He finally said that he loved me.

However, everything is too late.

I will grow old with others eventually. My happiness and unhappiness have nothing to do with him. Being late, he and I both pushed each other away, thinking that each other had fulfilled each other.

1 1. Things have changed, so I forgot about you.

20 16.

I began to try to find my original happiness and forget the past.

Orange Wen Leng wrote a sentence in Two Kings and One Princess: No matter how many territories he conquered, no matter whether he realized his childhood dream or not, the woman he missed will never come back.

No one knows how much I like this sentence, because it is just like me and him. Whether I realize my childhood dream or not, the person I miss will never come back.

I miss him. I can't come back.

So, I went back to the place where I used to walk together and made a decent farewell with him and the past.

When I walked alone in the past scenery, everything changed, and the people who accompanied me to see the flowing water had long been left behind by time. Stop-and-go, actually began to cry. /kloc-I fell in love with someone at the age of 0/9 and didn't put a wedding dress on him at the age of 26. On the contrary, I live in peace. No one understands what kind of despair it is.

Nineteen-year-old love, no tears, heartbreaking.

When I was sitting on the bus leading to the Snow Mountain, I thought that I would never know a few years ago that I would set foot on this road again one day. There are just no more people.

Later, I always think back to those days when we were together. The sunshine is so warm that he smiles so beautifully.

Later, I was always glad that we had sunbathed together and held hands.

However, I know that no matter how wonderful the time is, we can't go back.

I can't go back.

I found a suitable word for it, called vicissitudes.

Things have changed, so forget it. Forget him.

After I came back, I had a good dream.

We are not separated.

We walked for a long time on that short road.

Outside the dream.

Time flies and camphor is still there.

However, our story is over.

12. If you and I just fall in love at first sight.

20 17.

I finally turned around and took someone's hand.

So, in this way, I left him this winter. In the name of forgetting, in a lost way.

It's just a pity that no matter how long time has passed, I can control my own people, but I can't control my heart and my thoughts.

November.

I am engaged.

After all, I didn't wait for him. I willfully gave the rest of my life to my husband.

Facts have proved that what Xia Qixi said is true. The person you married at the age of 24 must not be the one you 17 loved deeply.

Xia Qixi also said that in every girl's best years, God will send a boy to promise her a wedding that will never come true.

I'm glad I met him that year. Sadly, I met him that year.

Because after many years, we will be apart forever.

He is a firework in my prime. Even though prosperity is gone, it is more powerful than countless stars.

He gave me a great love that can't be copied in this life. From then on, no matter who I spend my life with, he will exist in my memory and run wildly.

In fact, from the day he chose to leave me, he was not in my life, and my life was over, no matter who I got engaged to. And I am not in his life, but his life is long enough to grow old with the woman he loves.

This is our love. It is overbearing and never fair.

I finally understand that Yao Anan's adjective is no longer Xu Zhizhen.

13. Later, I finally married someone else.

20 18.

Early March.

I'm getting married, and I was the first to tell him. I wonder if he cried for me when he saw the news on the other side of the screen. But in the end I sat by the river in my hometown and cried all night, but I didn't fall asleep.

I spent my whole youth loving him, and then I spent the rest of my life thinking about him. Before, I always thought that one day, he would hold my hand and tell me that I would accompany you all my life. But after all, I have deep feelings with him, and I regret it all my life.

The river in my hometown in early spring is still a little cold. The lights in the river are late, and they are swaying in the water together. He used to be the light in my heart, but later, accidentally, the light was knocked over by the water, and then, there was only endless darkness, with no head in sight.

I sent a message to WeChat on my mobile phone, which he never used again: If you can come here one day, don't forget that I have been sitting here thinking about you all night. From now on, I will never miss you alone with such a mood.

I once imagined that one day, he would come up to me with a bunch of flowers, a suit and a bow tie, kneel down on one knee and say, will you marry me? Then take my hand and propose a toast to all the guests.

Now, I am at the end of the red carpet, watching my husband come to me with a smile step by step. In a trance, it seems that his shadow is holding my hand and walking step by step towards the master of ceremonies. It seems that he didn't come.

I want to tell him that the guests say that I am beautiful today. In my innocent eyes, I married love. I don't know where you are. Do you want to take me away? Are you sad?

I couldn't help crying when I watched my husband put the ring on my ring finger. They all think this is a happy tear. But only I know that those tears are a farewell to my youth who has been entangled with him for many years. Those honors and disgraces that * * * had in the past will disappear in our lives, in our memories and in every sleepless night.

In those years when I loved him deeply, everything was settled. We can't go back.

Never, never go back.

This time, we really can't go back

Really, I can't go back.

I posted a dynamic in my circle of friends that only I can see: I am married, and the groom is not you, but I still love you.

14. Essay: You got married and finally married someone else.

I'm Xu Zhizhen. I love her deeply and I failed her.

Today, she got married, beautiful, as beautiful as I imagined. I hid in the sea of people and watched her step by step to the master of ceremonies and put on the ring. Something cool crossed my face and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I want to take her away, but reason and calmness tell me that I can't. Those years that loved her deeply, let the dust settle today. I know that as time goes by, one day, she will forget me.

I let her down after all.

In life, I thought there was only love and no love, and I didn't know until I fell in love with her. There was another kind of love, that is, I couldn't love. However, she and I can't fall in love. It is these three words that will take her away from me and never get it again in my life.

I'll never get it.

I couldn't give her happiness, so I pushed her away and let her go to a happier place.

I'm glad I didn't give her too much hope so that she wouldn't be so miserable. After all, her innocent smile is the only mission I want to wait for. However, in the end, I underestimated her love for me.

She is still unhappy.

I knew her husband, a gentle, generous and tolerant man, without telling her. I know he will give her happiness. He loves me more than I do.

After all these years, I still go alone. There is no good girl around, but it's not her, as if my heart had gone with her in the year when I lost her.

They say, this is called love incompetence.

I have a pair of arms, but I can't give her a hug in this world.

I have a lot of eyes on the world, but I can't leave them beside her.

How distressed I am, the words come to my lips, but it has become another way.

Some people try their best to love.

I try my best to love or not to love.

Others use tenderness to prove love.

I used all my injuries to prove that I don't love anymore.

In those days and nights when I left her alone, every night could not fade away. When I wake up in the morning and face the empty and silent house and look at the mouse, I want to go back to her and face all the obstacles together.

However, I am still afraid after all, and I can't give her happiness in my life. So, I choose to let go.

In the past, I was always a stranger

Under the fleeting time, no one can return.

This time, I really lost her.

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