How to hate a person? I can't control my emotions. It is always easy to show disgust.

Learning from the most annoying people is annoying and emotional; Learning, very rational.

The Analects of Confucius said, "If you are determined to be benevolent, there will be no evil." I don't think that others hate it is self-cultivation, but learning from people who hate it is practice.

Stars, public figures, celebrities,/kloc-celebrities in 0/5 minutes, and bloggers are all "openly in love" and at the same time "secretly disgusted" by others. When the amount of information and signal strength become beyond the demand, it is annoying at first sight and laughing at once. But the person you hate also has positive qualities that you lack. They are the yardstick of this era, examining your tolerance, tolerance and self-confidence.

In addition, between workplaces, between classes, between cities and between countries, the "hatred model" is hindering social progress. You can't turn a blind eye to the initiative of competitors, the development path of the upper class, the vitality of the city you hate, the successful marketing of the country you hate, and the barbaric innovation of cottage products.

Hate is braking, learning is stepping on the gas pedal; Hate is just a posture and psychological balance, while learning makes people progress. Learning from the people you hate the most, their advantages and their highlights will help you move forward. Learning from the people you hate the most is also the proper meaning of a learning society.

How to treat the most annoying person?

The person I hate most is another me in the world. How to treat the most annoying people to form new interpersonal relationships is not only related to their own psychology, but also to other people's philosophical thinking, and it is also a booster and power valve in the sociological sense.

There are two kinds of bugs in the human body: one is poor bugs and the other is pests. When a poor bug attacks, it brings pity; when a nasty bug attacks, it brings disgust and disgust. The proverb says the last sentence: the poor must have something hateful; It lacks the following sentence: annoying people must have something worth learning.

On the research of aversion mechanism, psychologists say: "When we hate a person, it is often because the other person has the same shortcomings as us." The other party exposed our shortcomings, so we will also express our dislike for him. This is a secret that I don't want to happen.

Values, lifestyle, and sense of identity, everyone has their own behavior patterns. Count around, there will always be the most annoying people. Someone on Douban has set up a group called "I hate XX". The introduction of the group is very funny, saying, "Name the creature/thing you hate, and we will spit on it together." The founder added humorously, "In order to enlarge the dark side and gather grievances." People express their dislike of daily events, candidates and topics such as stars, TV stations, anti-virus software, parties, shopping mall activities, long-distance running in winter, traffic jams and constellations. This small alliance of haters has become a window to vent negative energy.

Even McLuhan, a communication giant, admitted that he had been annoyed: "For many years, until I wrote Mechanical Bride, I had an extreme moral judgment attitude towards all new environments. I hate machines and cities. I equate the industrial revolution with original sin and the mass media with depravity. In short, I reject almost all parts of modern life. " But later, he turned this negative emotion into the driving force of academic research. He said, "but I gradually realized how useless this attitude is." He began to realize that artists in the 20th century (Keats, Pound, Joyce, Eliot, etc. ) found a very different method, which is based on the integration of cognitive process and creative process. He realized that artistic creation is a repetition of ordinary experience-from garbage to treasure. "I am no longer a guardian and become a primary school student." Mcluhan finally said.

Switch from annoying mode to learning mode.

Where there is no oxygen, anaerobic bacteria will flourish. Learning is to give oxygen and sterilize.

There is a famous Zen case-solving about Su Dongpo and Zen master Fo Yin. Su Dongpo asked Jackson Fo Yin who he looked like. Fo Yin said he looked like a Buddha. Su Dongpo sneered: I think you look like a pile of cow dung. Fo Yin remained silent. Su Dongpo happily went home and told Su Xiaomei. Su Xiaomei said, brother, you lost again this time. When you look at others, you are you. Your opinion is a projection of your heart. Hate is an emotional statement. If treated rationally, almost everyone who hates it most has something to learn. People's general stress response is to sympathize with the weak and hate the strong. Powerful people must have something to hate, and the most annoying object is often "convicted" because of power and influence. Emerson, an American philosopher, said, "All heroes are annoying in the end." People use annoying patterns to achieve a certain balance and equality, thus adapting to the Darwin ecological environment of "the survival of the strong".

Aside from this, if we regard society as an organic whole, the people we hate most are only a few. Their existence has the function of scavenger, which can make people see clearly the existence and deficiency. Switching from annoying mode to learning mode is the best way to treat things around you.

Between aliens and humans, aliens are most likely to be the most annoying people. Whether it is a country, a city or an individual, different ideas can easily lead to differences, abuse and disgust. How to treat heterogeneous elements, is it tolerance, reference, appreciation, acceptance or prejudice? This is by no means a successful choice, but based on a mature mind.

Nietzsche put it this way: "If we can't be good, good will make us hate." He solved a philosophical problem. The object we hate is that we are not qualified, even if it is good. If we are not competent for learning, learning will also make us hate. The reason why the most annoying person exists is because it is also a person we are not qualified for. There is no reason not to learn from him.

Bertrand Russell commented on Nietzsche: "I hate Nietzsche, because he likes to meditate on pain, because he raised conceit to an obligation!" " However, this did not affect Russell's study of Nietzsche. He even regretted that he could not meditate on pain like Nietzsche, and raised conceit to an obligation.

Think about the entertainment environment we live in, Jing M.Guo, Song Zude, Chen Kaige, Yang Er ... In short, it will be a long list of Sina celebrity blogs, all of which will be clicked in the "Most Hate People Selection", and all of them will abandon the secular vision and think calmly. Are they really useless? On the contrary, many of their abilities, efforts and endurance are really worth learning. There are no rules in learning. People who are ahead of the times start learning mode. However, people will also worry that "I finally become a person I hate", and this risk also exists, so some people joked: "When you become a person you hate, you will succeed." Hatred is the brake, and learning is the accelerator. In the historical fast lane of economic acceleration, hatred makes people awake; However, in the stagnant lane of today's financial crisis, learning makes people progress.

No one can please everyone, and the person who hates most is a relative concept. Remember a useful sentence: "invite the person you hate the most to dinner, not the person you like the most."

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