Men always say that they are right and should listen to him. Why do men do nothing?

Pastor Chen said that men are like buffaloes, so what are women like? A woman can be a scarred matador or a happy little shepherd boy. The little shepherd boy can lead the cow by the nose or ride on the cow's back to play the flute. What kind of person do you want to be? Let's look at God's Word-Bible. What was God's intention in creating women? What is the purpose of God's wife? What is his entrustment and mission to his wife? I sum up the teaching of the Bible into six points to share with you and learn together.

First, help him, not tie him up.

God said, "It is not good for that man to live alone. I will make a spouse for him to help him. " So helping "him" is God's original intention of creating women, and it is also God's greatest trust in women.

(A) the purpose of God to create gender differences:

Men and women are different, for example, men value rationality and women value sensibility; Men like adventure, women like peace. Generally speaking, women have a better memory than men. God created the differences between the two sexes not to create contradictions and conflicts, but to complement and balance each other. God created women to help and supplement men's shortcomings and make him complete. Just as keys are to locks and film is to cameras, they are indispensable.

(2) How can a wife help her husband:

Knowing the nature of God's creation of women, what should a wife do to help her husband? Everyone has his own uniqueness and advantages, and can help his husband in many things, but generally speaking, he can at least help him in the following things:

Proverbs 1 Chapter 14 says, "A wise woman builds a family." Because women are more careful, sensitive, creative and imaginative, they can make their home warm and comfortable, which is the best help for their husbands.

2. Care about his career and be willing to participate in his interests.

3. When the husband needs it, he can provide opinions, suggestions and correction methods in time. The wise woman in proverbs "speaks with wisdom, and there is a kind law on her tongue." "Fa" can be translated or negotiated.

4. One of the most important roles of a husband is a leader. The most painful thing for a leader is that no one supports and supports his leadership. Therefore, the wife's duty is to support and support her husband's leading position in the family.

5. Cooperate with children's teaching and never hold opposite opinions in front of children.

6. Help husbands honor their elders and take care of relatives. Because women have a good memory, it is easier to remember important festivals, likes and dislikes of their elders, and see the needs of their loved ones. "She opened her hand to help the poor and reached out to help the poor and needy."

7. Encourage and intercede with each other in spiritual pursuit, and become the best prayer companions. Many couples can do many things together, but they can't pray together, which is a great loss, because the Lord clearly said, "If you two ask for something with one heart on earth, my father in heaven will do it for them." The ancients said, "If two people are United, their profits will be cut off." Ecclesiastes says, "Three strands of synthetic rope are not easy to break!" "'three shares', that is, two shares of husband and wife plus one share of god, is powerful.

8. Willing to pay attention to his joys and sorrows. Share his sadness, share his happiness and become his closest friend.

9. Meet his needs. Proverbs 3 1 chapter 1 1 and 12 say, "If a husband trusts her, he will never lack benefits, and she will benefit him for life."

Second, obedience to him is not stronger than him.

Wives, be obedient to your husbands as you are to the Lord. As the church obeys, so should the wife obey her husband in everything. "Some sisters heard that they should obey their husbands in all things, just like the Lord, so they refused. "Why? Now it's gender equality! My intelligence is no worse than his. Why should I listen to him? "

(A) the reasons why people object to the obedience of their wives:

1, it is human nature to have tenacious resistance to the will of God. For example, Eve, God clearly said: "Do not eat the fruit of the tree of good and evil in the garden!" " As a result, she insisted on eating.

2. I misunderstood the meaning of obedience and didn't understand the real meaning of "obedience".

(2) clarify the wrong concept of obedience:

1, "obedience" is not only a concept for women, but a concept that all believers should know. In many parts of the Bible, we are taught to obey each other. Ephesians 5: 2 1 says, "Be in awe and obey each other." 1 Peter, chapter 5, verse 5 says ... you should all gird your loins with humility and obey each other, because God stops the proud and gives grace to the humble. 」

2. Instead of making your wife a slave and oppressed, you should be the best person to realize God's will.

I don't want my wife to keep silent, express her opinions and make suggestions. When he appeared in front of Samson's parents that day, Samson's father was afraid and said, "We must die because we have seen God." His wife said to him, "If you wanted to kill us, you wouldn't accept our sacrifice or tell us what was going to happen. Obviously, her understanding of God is more correct, and she also made timely corrections. In the New Testament, there was a couple named Priscilla and Aquila. When their names appear in the Bible, the wife's name always comes before her husband's. They heard that Apollos, who was eloquent and powerful, preached boldly, but his content was slightly flawed, so they took him in and explained the word of God to him in more detail.

I don't want my wife to be an ornament in the family and bury her talents. Please see how the ideal wife can give full play to her talents in Proverbs 3 1.

5. It is not that a wife is humbler than her husband. God didn't make women out of Adam's skull because he didn't want women to stand out; God didn't make women out of Adam's foot bones, because he didn't want men to trample women under their feet. The consistent idea of the Bible is equality between men and women. 1 Peter 3: 7 clearly enjoins the husband to respect his wife. Galatians 3: 28 says, "There is no distinction between Jew, Greek, free man, slave, male or female, for you are all one in Jesus." God made women out of men's ribs. Ribs protect internal organs and represent equal status. Although seven lonely days have different functions and responsibilities, their status and dignity are equal.

6. Obedience is a positive rather than a negative concept. "Obedience is to let women exert their potential and creativity under the power designated by God." (Bill Gothard)

(3) How to obey?

1, the wife has the responsibility to make herself obedient. The Bible does not command a husband to force his wife to obey by force.

2, the wife should constantly obey, in most cases, the Greek word "obedience" is used in the present tense, so obedience should be a constant living habit and attitude of the wife.

3. A wife has the obligation to obey her husband and has no choice. It doesn't depend on how your husband treats you, nor on your husband's talent, ability, wisdom, education or mental condition.

4. A wife's refusal to obey her husband is tantamount to resisting God, because God said, "Just like obeying the Lord."

5. Willing to obey, not out of reluctance.

6. Obey everything, including everything, and don't choose according to your own meaning and preferences.

(4) If the husband is wrong, should the wife obey?

First of all, we should tell what is wrong:

1. If it violates the truth of the Bible or is morally wrong, the wife should not only obey, but also firmly maintain herself, and should obey God excessively.

2, if the judgment of things, the way of doing things, or the characteristics of personal character, although the wife does not agree with her husband's opinion, she should still obey. Why? because

1) Mistakes are the best teachers, and we all need to learn and grow from missed experiences.

2) If obedience is desirable, it is not true obedience.

3) If you don't agree and still obey, you can show your complete trust in him, so that he will make more careful decisions in the future and become a more responsible and mature person.

Third, respect him, not criticize him.

"A wife should also respect her husband." "... alienate close friends who repeatedly find fault. "

A preacher said in Proverbs of Couples: "Being rude because of familiarity is the beginning of disharmony, and the first disharmony is Satan's gateway." There is an old saying in China that couples should "treat each other with courtesy". But since people have fallen, couples are either "as close as ice" (cold war) or "as close as soldiers" (hot war). Because women are naturally sensitive and careful, it is easy to see each other's shortcomings and become picky and nagging, and picky is the most likely to hurt feelings and destroy relationships. Even "close friends" find fault with each other as soon as they meet, and the relationship cannot be maintained. So God wants a wife to respect her husband.

(a) the meaning of respect:

Give him a high sense of value and let him know his position in your mind and his importance in the family. "Respect" also means extreme care, attention, praise and appreciation.

(2) How should a wife respect her husband?

1, put the husband's needs before the children. This is more difficult in China culture. China people pay more attention to the value of a good mother, but ignore the meaning of a good wife. No wonder many husbands complain that "since I had children, my worth has plummeted!" " "In fact, some men are more emotionally vulnerable than children. If you don't pay attention to him, if another woman appreciates him a little, he will forget that he is married. Husband and wife are the two pillars of the family. Only when the relationship between husband and wife is stable can children get the greatest sense of security and happiness.

Before making a decision, discuss with him and listen to his opinions and suggestions.

3. Meet his requirements.

4. Find opportunities to praise his positive side. Appreciate his career and participate in its activities.

5. Support and help him achieve his personal goals.

6. Don't correct and refute him in front of others (men have strong self-esteem).

Fourth, it is to influence him, not to transform him.

"... if a husband doesn't listen to the truth, although he doesn't listen to the truth, he can also be influenced by his wife's character. This is precisely because they see your chastity and awe. "

A wife has no responsibility or ability to reform her husband. Many women have the hope of "changing him slowly after marriage" before marriage, but they are disappointed after marriage. If a wife wants to change her husband blindly, it will bring him great pressure and frustration, resulting in a tense family atmosphere. Only life has the ability to transform people. "If someone is in the park, he is a newly created person. The past has passed and everything has become new. " If you want to change him, the best way is to lead him to know the Lord, believe in the Lord and accept the Lord, but you can't just say it with your mouth, because he doesn't like listening and watching, depending on whether you are chaste and awe-stricken. Everything you say and do can infect him, make him feel awe and gradually be influenced.

Fifth, pay attention to the cultivation of inner beauty.

It's not just the appearance that attracts people. "Don't (just) decorate yourself with braided hair, gold ornaments and beautiful clothes outside, as long as you decorate yourself with a long, gentle and quiet heart inside, which is extremely precious before God."

Wives should not only pay attention to the neatness and decoration of appearance, but also take time to pay attention to the cultivation of inner beauty, because "a woman is beautiful and ignorant, just like a gold ring on a pig's nose." What is inner beauty? Proverbs 3 1: 10 says, "A virtuous woman … is far more valuable than pearls." Verse 30: "... only women who fear God will be praised. Therefore, "being virtuous" and "fearing God" are the inner beauty that women should cultivate. In addition, the "gentle and quiet heart" is a unique and precious temperament of women, which is valued by God. Why?

(a) the definition of "quiet":

"Tenderness" means showing careful care for the feelings of others. "Quiet" is a kind of inner peace and harmony, which makes the wife fearless under heavy pressure and can calmly face unexpected events or special situations in life.

(B) the importance of "gentle and quiet":

God created women and knows them best. Women have another feature-sensitivity and delicacy. If you can't balance it with a quiet heart, it will become a source of frustration and disappointment. For example, a mother went out with three children, and in order to avoid kittens, she ran into a telephone pole on the side of the road and hurt her children. For another example, when the husband scolds his daughter with harsh and rude words, and her daughter's heart is hurt, but her husband has no feelings, if the wife can correctly use her sensitive characteristics and balance with a gentle and quiet heart, she can comfort her daughter in time, and then help her husband to detect this injury afterwards and guide him to heal her daughter's injured heart. On the other hand, if the wife misuses sensitivity, it will cause her to scold her husband in front of her daughter, or cause her husband's dissatisfaction because she protects her daughter. This is why couples often quarrel to discipline their children. Therefore, God's word emphasizes that a "gentle and quiet" heart is extremely precious before God. Because he knows that when a man and a woman form a family, they will face many new challenges and pressures. Wives should constantly practice facing life with a gentle and quiet heart, and be able to maintain a carefree family atmosphere under heavy pressure. No matter what storms you encounter, you will not shake your "home", but you can grow steadily together.

6. It is a channel of love and forgiveness, not a quarrel that makes you angry.

"... teach young women to love their husbands, children, be chaste, look after the house, and be kind to others ..." "... wives quarrel like raindrops. ""I'd rather live in the wilderness than be with a woman who quarrels and makes me angry. "

"Love your husband, love your children" is the order taught in the Bible. Being kind to others means being willing to forgive, not being reasonable and forgiving. "Love" and "forgiveness" are the best ways to solve problems. Wives should always tolerate their elders, husbands and children with "love", and resolve them with "forgiveness" without quarreling. Solomon, the king of wisdom, represents the hearts of all men in the world-how annoying and annoying the dripping rain is! "I'd rather live in the corner of the roof than in the wilderness ..." Sisters! Does your husband want to go home after a busy day outside? Still singing there: "Don't go home today!" "Quarrel" means pushing her husband away. Please don't forget: "Being angry is to punish yourself with other people's mistakes." "Knowledgeable people don't get angry easily. It is their glory to forgive others' mistakes. " .

The admonition and warning of quarrels in proverbs: "Hate can provoke disputes, and love can cover up all faults." "Soft answer, make the anger subsided; Violent words make people angry. ""people are proud to stay away from disputes, and fools love to fight. " "Perseverance can persuade the monarch, but a soft tongue can break bones." Ephesians 4: 26 commands us: "Be angry, but don't sin and don't be angry until sunset." "Anger" borders on crime; Anger until sunset is harmful to both body and mind. Many diseases are caused by "qi", so couples should make up as soon as possible if they break up in discord.

Sometimes I hear wives complain, "What bad luck! I will never be a woman again in my next life! " "Is it difficult to be a woman or a man? The Bible says, "A man should make a living by sweating" and "A husband should love his wife as much as he loves the church and be willing to lay down his life for his wife". In addition to "suffering from childbirth", women should obey their husbands in everything, just as they obey the Lord. Many sisters say that obedience to the Lord is easy, because the Lord is infallible, completely holy and completely righteous, and we are convinced by obedience; But husbands are incomplete, they often make mistakes, and it is too difficult for us to obey! Yes, it is difficult to be a husband or wife if we rely on ourselves, but it is easy if we rely on the Lord. This is the biggest difference between Christianity and other religions. All religions advise people to be good, to do, to do, to practice, and to live only for others. As Paul said, "I am no longer alive, but I live in me." Jesus said, He who believes in me will have rivers of living water flowing out of his belly. "These are the natural outpouring of life, not our own struggles. It brings us great hope and strength. He not only clearly tells us what husbands should do and how wives should build a happy marriage, but also gives us the wisdom and ability to live for us. If a husband has a Lord in his heart, he can live the role of a husband in the eyes of God. If a sister respects the Lord in her heart and is willing to let the life of the Lord unfold in her heart, she can live the role of a wife.

In our marital problems, we often encounter a situation: the husband complains that his wife is not obedient enough, and the wife blames her husband for not loving her enough. Who should take the first step? Who is more mature? Whoever takes the first step is willing to get greater blessings, and whoever takes the first step. For blessed are not those who listen to the word, but those who walk on it.