12 constellation humorous stories

Mother often tells the sheep: "Don't sway when wearing a skirt;" Or the little boy will see the underwear inside! "

One day, Yangyang said happily to his mother, "Today I played on the swing with Xiaoming, and I won!" "

Mother said angrily, "didn't I tell you?" Don't put on a skirt! "

Yang Yang proudly said, "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so that he couldn't see my underwear! "

(Aries, brave and straightforward, dare to do it)

Taurus constellation

Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, it's free if it's not sweet!" " "

Hungry Niu Niu: "Wow! Great, boss, have a sweet one! "

(housekeeper, want to cheat, take care of yourself Taurus)

Gemini

Mom told Shuangshuang to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! "

Both of them said, "What does a cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! "

(Gemini with strong self-awareness and self-thinking ability)

Cancer constellation

On the bus, crab crab said, "I want to sleep with my mother tonight!"

Mother asked, "Did you sleep with your mother when you married your daughter-in-law?"

Crab crab said without thinking, "Hmm!"

Mom asked again, "What about your daughter-in-law?"

Crab crab thought for a long time and said, "It's very simple. Let her sleep with her father!"

Mom: "! @#$%^&*

Look at dad again, tears are already in my eyes!

(Oedipus complex, with cancer)

Le Signe du Lion

The lion lion went to grandma's birthday party. When it was time to eat Shoubao, the lion asked, "Why do we eat Shoubao like a donkey?"

They listened to the face big change.

Then the lion opened the birthday bag, looked at the bean paste inside and said, "Grandma, look! There is also shit in it! "

Everyone fainted, vomited and vomited.

A proud lion who thinks for himself and is not afraid of others' eyes.

virgo

Curious about navel everywhere, ask dad.

Dad simply explained the reason why the umbilical cord connects the fetus and the mother, saying, "After the baby left the mother, the doctor cut off the umbilical cord and tied it in a knot, which later became the navel."

Everywhere: "Why doesn't the doctor tie a bow?"

(Curious and perfectionist virgin)

libra

Father said to Tian Tian, "Don't go to school today. Last night ... your mother gave birth to two brothers for you. Just tell the teacher. "

Every day I answer: "Dad, I only said I gave birth to one; The other one, I want to stay until next week when I don't want to go to school! "

(Smart, weigh the pros and cons)

Scorpius

The scorpion was bitten by a mosquito as soon as it fell asleep.

He got up to catch mosquitoes, but he couldn't get out. No way, he pointed to the mosquito and said, "well, I'll go out if you don't go out!" " With that, he left the room, slammed the door and said proudly, "Hum! If I don't come back tonight, I will starve you to death! "

(Scorpio who is not sensible and does not play by common sense)

Sagittarius

Pat: "Dad, why do you have so much white hair?"

Dad: "Because you are naughty, Dad has a lot of white hair."

Shooting: ... (in doubt)

Shooting: "Then why are they all grandfathers with white hair?"

Dad:! @#$%^&*

(Thinking about Shooter)

Capricorn. Compare CAPRICORN

One day, Jiejie and her mother went shopping together. Walking on the road, it suddenly began to rain.

Mother took Jie Jie's little hand and said, "It's raining, run!" " "

Jie Jie asked slowly, "Then it won't rain ahead!" ? "

(Capricorn who understands reality and is too lazy to change)

Aquarius constellation

Aquarius asks his mother, "What do you mean by saying that Mr. Jiang is an ancestor?"

Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased."

Bottles and jars said, "Should the deceased grandmother be called' fresh milk'?"

(A natural water bottle with unique thinking, always unique)

fishes

Dad told the fish that he often went hungry when he was a child.

Fish and fish had tears in their eyes after listening, and asked sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

(Pisces, compassionate and regardless of the situation)