12 constellation life self-help guide: Cancer always thinks more than does.

Welcome to this new series of twelve constellations. This time, we will discuss a slightly serious topic. What difficulties will the twelve constellations face in the process of growth because of their inherent characteristics? What personality factors will bring you some negative effects, and you need to consciously overcome them in order to grow. In particular, the constellation itself may not be aware of the problem, or it is a problem that is really aware but unwilling to face. In short, I'm going to talk about everyone's shortcomings.

I have written many series before, and I will emphasize to you that this is just the characteristic or thinking habit of this constellation. Many times, when analyzing the two constellations, I will try my best to teach you some ways to understand each other and accept the running-in, because I don't think many of them are shortcomings, and I can't say who is right or wrong and who has to correct them. But the problems mentioned in this series, I think we really need to pay attention to them. If you want to grow up, you may have to cross that obstacle. Some of them, if allowed to develop or go to extremes, will have a huge and long-term impact. So I said this series will be more serious. I don't want to scare everyone. I hope everyone will listen patiently —— Excerpts from Xiao Yang's Life Lecture Hall of "A cliche" and "Seriously".

What about the constellation I'm going to talk about today? I think there's really nothing wrong with them not thinking. Unfortunately, this constellation can't stop thinking and think about life anytime and anywhere. However, they always think more than they can do. It can be said that basically all the pain comes from his "thinking". This constellation is Cancer.

Is to fight for yourself.

I once said that my cancer friend either can't recover or doesn't want to recover. Most of the strength in life is used to fight against yourself, but if you save some physical strength and use it to fight against foreign monsters, you can be twice as successful as you are now. And cancer spends too much energy on this ideological struggle, and their motivation will be much worse. After all, it takes effort to think about it. When they finally make up their minds, they may have lost the right time and place to do it, or they have no extra passion to do it, because they already have a complete plan in mind. Therefore, Cancer is particularly prone to go with the flow carelessly, and it is very necessary for someone around to spur it. Cancer may have been looking for the sense of security they want, but the sense of security they can get from the outside world is temporary because they can't balance the deviation between their inner thoughts and the outside world.

Let's talk about the internal friction of cancer in detail with the emotions that cancer cares most about. Why do I say that cancer doesn't want to be well? I think they always choose the option of torturing them. What kind of feelings can cancer last the longest? Most of them are unequal feelings, or they end up dead. Because of a quarrel, the other party turned and left, leaving Cancer alone. Cancer will keep this feeling in her mind for a long time after that. Even if there is a new feeling behind him, this feeling is still very important to him. I don't know if you have read the compound strategy I wrote before, that is, in the case of cancer being dumped, the chances of you getting back together with them are much greater than in other cases, because cancer is just thinking. Either the cancer has a crush on it for a long time, or although the cancer is a couple, it has long been unequal and unilaterally infinite. Cancer people find it hard to overcome this feeling. The key point is that in either case, in fact, the other party is a proven unsuitable person, which is particularly easy to evolve into a kind of entanglement and torture. They will be particularly immersed in the image of playing the victim and cannot extricate themselves.

Cancer doesn't want to get rid of this situation? They want to get rid of this situation more than anyone else. Because Cancer has a great demand for emotional support, the pain caused by emotional imbalance is better than others. But if it doesn't have a happy ending, Cancer will habitually find reasons for herself, and then always feel whether to give herself another chance, do better, change the ending of things, constantly criticize herself internally, and turn a blind eye to the situation that really needs to be changed.

Cancer's inner order is actually very strong. They have their own strong personalities, even a little rebellious. If they are forced, they want to do the opposite. Anyway, in my opinion, cancer is actually quite "wild", not the kind of person who can be particularly comfortable with the status quo. However, they are completely opposite people in action. Many times, they are soft and obedient, afraid of embarrassment, and afraid that others will have a bad impression on themselves. Many times, they naturally cater to others. Then, under this superficial calm, Cancer itself is not calm. They have to wage a protracted struggle with themselves, try to suppress their true thoughts, and toss and turn for other people's words and deeds. These will be buried in their hearts and become a part of their protracted struggle with themselves, becoming the fuse of emotional outbursts. Obviously, it's been a long time, maybe the other person can't remember it at that time, and maybe the cancer suddenly fluttered one day. I wonder if it would be better to do so.

Don't want to admit the reality.

Theoretically and perceptually, everyone will think that Cancer should be a "love brain", a constellation that despairs of feelings and only pays attention to feelings first. As I said above, whether it is a lover or a friend, Cancer can be obedient to each other, tolerant of each other, and even more willing to play the role of giving. However, Cancer actually cares about reality. Maybe some cancers don't want to admit it themselves, at least they will never let go. It is very important for cancer to get a particularly "great" love. They feel that their emotional contribution is not calculated, or even completely unrewarded. Cancer's mind is full of heroism of self-sacrifice. In fact, it is reality that can provide cancer with a sense of security.

At the beginning of the relationship, I admit that many cancers pay first and unconditionally, but this matter will not last long. Cancer pays and expects the same return. Cancer is called "scum" or "work" in love because it doesn't want to admit that it cares. For example, cancer may quarrel over some inexplicable things. In fact, from the perspective of cancer, it is not puzzling at all. They won't even argue with you about what's in front of them, but their efforts don't get what they want. When this emotion accumulates to a certain extent, he just finds an excuse to quarrel with you. But cancer doesn't admit it. He said that I just did what was in front of me, but you apologized for what was in front of me, and he was still not satisfied. The more cancer gives, the more it wants to be affirmed. Because I can't prove my importance in each other's eyes, I will continue to overweight and find it in various ways.

I'm not saying that Cancer is greedy and selfish. There is nothing wrong with paying attention to reality, but it is a big problem for Cancer to avoid cognition. In addition to emotional rewards, including the pursuit of secular stability and material conditions, there is nothing wrong with Cancer. There is no need for self-reflection. Especially the younger cancer, you don't have to make any self-sacrifice feelings.

In addition, I think that on the one hand, Cancer is too obsessed with the past, and the past experience has left a heavy imprint on Cancer, which makes Cancer's attitude and feelings towards the future life too fatalistic. If they can meet a suitable person in a well-born family at the beginning of their first relationship, the whole life will be much smoother in the future. If they are not so lucky and have a bad start, it will be difficult to get rid of the habits left by these bad things, including many "scum" cancers, because they start the protection mode after being hurt, but they can't refuse others, dare not pay and don't want to be hurt. Cancer is difficult to face the actual situation at present, and is very good at turning over old memories and deriving past feelings to the present. Cancer places too much emotional projection on past people, even past objects and habits, so that it ignores reality. Therefore, there will be a cancer who obviously has a good partner at this moment, and they may choose to get back together with people who have hurt themselves in the past. The past often makes them more immersed in it than reality. But the first step in growth is obviously to recognize the reality.

In fact, I envy cancer's keen mind and understanding, but it may be a double-edged sword for cancer. They spend too much time thinking and lose the motivation to work hard in reality. I think cancer can concretize 30% of the actions in her brain and will definitely start a completely different life.