How can we get out of the shadow of lovelorn?

Lovelorn is a blunt knife, which devours your heart a little bit, making you unable to survive, and you can only beg for death. How should you get rid of it?

Time is the best doctor.

Generally speaking, lovelorn people will always experience a Lei Zhen-style process of indiscriminate bombing, anxiety, burning pain and fidgeting until the impulse fades. The first two stages are "critical periods", which are long and short, but as long as we get through the critical period, we can gradually get rid of the pain of lovelorn and embark on the road of "recovery" in the future. So, you don't have to despair, don't worry, the pain will slowly dissipate as time goes by. Of course, maybe on a blue day, my heart will still ache faintly, but after all, the most painful time has passed, so you should be glad.

Be kind to yourself

One of the important "lessons" after lovelorn is reflection, that is, be kind to yourself wisely and evaluate yourself, love and life reasonably.

Some lovelorn people come to the conclusion that:

(1) generalize from one to the other-all women (men) in the world are untrustworthy ungrateful people.

(2) Terrible-you can't live without love.

(3) the pursuit of perfection-all pain is bad.

(4) summarize the reasons-it's all my fault, and the other party doesn't want me.

Others have come to the opposite conclusion.

(1) Pears are everywhere, and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

(2) Being lovelorn does not mean that I am a loser.

(3) Just because a person doesn't love me doesn't mean that no one will love me.

I still have the right to love.

(5) There is true love in the world.

(6) Love is not the whole of life.

(7) Many people have experienced lovelorn, which is not shameful.

(8) I was deeply impressed by saying goodbye to three days.

(9) Pain is not useless, and painful experiences can help people mature.

(10) All the problems are not necessarily on me. I am worthy of people and have a clear conscience.

In life, never walk into a dead end and ask for it. If you think lovelorn is fatal, no one can save you. But if you look at the problem from another angle, everything will suddenly become clear.

Have a tolerant heart.

People who are lovelorn will instinctively hate people who hurt themselves.

Goethe described Werther's crazy mood when he was lovelorn in Young Werther: "In my broken heart, there is always a crazy idea-kill your husband!" ! -Kill you! ""How much love, how much hate. "Some people even retaliate against each other by destroying themselves in an attempt to make each other regret for life. Many people treat their lovers like "spring-like warmth" at first. Once their possessiveness is not satisfied, they turn to treat "enemies" as ruthlessly as "autumn wind sweeps away leaves"! If I had known this, why, even if the other party does apologize to you in some way, cruel revenge can save the love that has long since disappeared? Destroy others, but also ruin your lifelong happiness! Is it worth paying such a high price for someone who doesn't love you?

Shakespeare said, "When the waves of love are overturned, we should say goodbye in a friendly way." If you really love each other, you should think of each other and respect each other's choices. Besides, love can't be friendship. If you love someone and can't get each other, then bury this feeling in your heart and turn it into sincere friendship.

Hope for the future

"To heal the wounds of a beautiful woman, the best medicine is another equally beautiful woman." In the eyes of lovelorn people, she is naturally the only one in the world. However, if you search, check and compare in different ways, you may be surprised at what you find. She is not as perfect as you think. When you fall in love again, suddenly looking back, you may find that "a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise!" Piano master Liszt/KLOC-The first love of 0/7 years old was very painful after failure. He was ill for two years and vowed to enter a monastery. Later, he met a woman writer, Mrs. Sister-in-law, and was rescued by a new lover. In Sense and Sensibility, Marianne was heartbroken after falling in love, and said to her mother, "The more I see the world, the more I feel that I will never see a man I really love again in my life." She bring disgrace to oneself, almost lost her life. But her sister's example made her rational and denied her "motto" with her actions. She found herself succumbing to new emotions, shouldering new obligations, dedicating herself wholeheartedly to her husband and living a happy life.

turn grief into strength

Love is not the whole content of life. People not only have the need to love and be loved, but also have a higher level of need, that is, the need for self-realization. Things or jobs that interest you are also a good medicine for lovelorn. You have been lovelorn once, do you still want to preach the purpose and meaning of life? Goethe, with his own personal experience of lovelorn, sublimated the pain of lovelorn into the motive force of creation, and wrote the sensational Young Werther, named The Dependence of Misfortune and Happiness.

So lovelorn is not terrible, the key is to establish a correct attitude.