What should I do if I am born in a family and prefer sons to daughters? Born in a family, son preference hurts children.

A person's family background has a great influence on this person. It is a phenomenon that many rural families prefer boys to girls, while preference for girls will be rejected and treated unfairly.

What should I do if I am born in a family and prefer sons to daughters?

Born in a patriarchal family, the best way for girls to get rid of it is to grow up quickly. If there is growth, there must be pain. Let go of your obsession with revenge on your parents. As a girl, the best gift you can give yourself is to be independent and realize your own value. Because in fact, the worst thing is not to be born in a patriarchal family, but to cling to the past. A really smart person will put down his obsession and earn his own happiness with his own hands.

1, establish a correct view of competition

Girls who grew up in such a family are seriously lacking in competition. Because under the leadership of authority, competition has long been out of balance. Therefore, they will deliberately avoid all competitive environments and feel particularly insecure. They also often understand the normal way of competition as mutual harm. Usually, when they fail in the competition, they think they are hurt because they recall their childhood experiences. Such girls should establish a correct concept of competition and bravely pursue what they want. We must recognize the form of competition and make efforts to make up for our own lack of technology and knowledge in order to give full play to our advantages in the competition. Including interpersonal communication, is also a kind of popularity competition, but it should not be understood as fighting or intrigue. We should look at this phenomenon objectively and strive to enhance our competitive advantage.

2. Conduct emotional negotiation with family of origin until reconciliation.

Try to communicate with family of origin members, try to make them understand themselves, and try to understand each other yourself. Everything I experienced in my childhood is over. What you have to do is to minimize the damage at that time. You can make an objective evaluation by recalling the form of childhood. Through repeated emotional consultations, I can make up for my inner scars to the greatest extent. I believe that there should be very few parents who can't communicate at all.

3. Learn to know and distinguish people in feelings.

This kind of girl, if she is heavily influenced by her father, will especially hope to pin her feelings on the person she likes. However, when they meet the person they like, they can't really tell what is love and what is need. The so-called love should include passion, intimacy and commitment; The so-called demand is that you simply need someone like your ideal father to take care of yourself. Many girls from this family choose demand, not love. So they need to know and distinguish people in their feelings and learn to protect themselves, but at the same time they still need to give more trust to others.

Born in a family, son preference hurts children.

In a patriarchal family, the status of women is despised. If the wife doesn't have a son, you will be considered "useless" if you have a son, and it is the daughters in this family who suffer. They not only have to bear the hurt that their parents don't love them enough, but also take care of their younger brothers, help their parents share housework and even make a living. When I was a child, I lacked calcium; when I grew up, I lacked love. In all kinds of toxic families, girls often don't get enough care, resulting in inferiority, rebellion, paranoia and other bad personality traits, and even being affected and hurt all their lives. Because of the lack of love, money and security, the cognition of love is incomplete. So I tried to please my parents, hoping to be affirmed. Because of lack of love, inferiority has been accompanied by growth. The girl's apparent strength can't hide her inferiority.

How to reduce the influence of family background?

1, learn to vent anger and release sadness.

You realize that when you were a child, your parents hurt you and made a mess of your life. You will feel angry and miserable. But many times, you may choose to hide your anger and sadness in your heart and dare not vent it easily. When you are an adult, this situation will manifest itself in another form. For example, "if you don't find a solution to your parents' fear, guilt and anger, it will be transferred to your spouse and children." In order to avoid provoking others, what we can do is to release our anger and sadness. When you learn to vent your anger and sadness, you won't be depressed because you have accumulated too many negative emotions. The negative influence brought by your parents will also be reduced, and the damage you have suffered can be repaired, so that you can get real emotional and inner peace.

2. Stand firm.

This method tells us to bravely express our true thoughts and beliefs. Simply put, you can bravely express what you are willing to do and what you are unwilling to do, and what you think can be communicated and non-negotiable. Because, as big as your outlook on life, world outlook and values, as small as your view of a book, it is all your thoughts and beliefs. Therefore, when your parents ask too much of you or want to interfere in your life, you should bravely express your position and express your thoughts, so that they can understand that you are no longer their marionette, but an adult with goals and ideas. When you are disturbed or hurt by your parents, you should be brave enough to take a stand; And when you can't shake off the shadow of the past, you have to face your parents bravely. By confrontation, I mean not quarreling with your parents, but facing them directly, overcoming their fears, talking to them about their harm to you and telling them that these injuries have made you feel very painful so far.

3. Choose the way of writing or interviewing, and face your parents bravely.

Tell them that these injuries have caused you pain so far. How to fight specifically? You can choose to write or talk face to face. Of course, writing a letter is the first choice, because writing a letter can fully express what you want to say, and also give the recipient the opportunity to read the letter and think again and again. But writing to parents is also very particular. For example, your letter should contain the following four points: first, this is what you did to me. Second, this is how I felt at that time. Third, it affects my life. Fourth, this is what I ask of you now. Make some changes after writing to ensure that your feelings and experiences are expressed in place. Besides writing letters, an interview is also a good way. Before the formal conversation, I suggest you make some rules, as follows: "What I want to say to you is something I have never said, and I hope you will promise to hear me out. This is very important to me, please don't refute or interrupt me. After I finish, you will have plenty of time to express your thoughts. Are you willing to accept it? " When you finish the rules, you can start telling the story that your parents hurt you. At the same time, you should also be prepared to confront your parents, but it may not solve the problem. Because parents may not admit what they have done; Or if they don't feel wrong, they will insist that it is for your own good; It is also possible that parents will act like "you will make us very sad". In a word, your voice may not be accepted by your parents.

How to overcome the inferiority complex of family background?

Communicate with parents and try to have a real conversation. Talk to them seriously, talk about your worries, your stress, your inferiority complex and your unhappiness, and let them know what you have undertaken. At the same time, tell your parents that you don't have to worry about you, you will think independently and live with your heart.

1, learn to know yourself now.

Objectively evaluate your own advantages and disadvantages, establish your own independent thinking ability, and adjust your mentality. When we were young, our parents were our only imitators. We always thought they were everything, so we always changed ourselves because of them. However, when one day we have doubts, this is the beginning of our independent thinking. People cannot live in the past forever. You can't re-do the paper through time and space, you should focus on the future. Let go of your inner baggage and establish your own growth model, so that you can become a better person.

Step 2 learn more knowledge

Knowing how to understand scientifically and objectively the entanglement between oneself and one's family background plays an important role in shaping one's mature psychology. Your judgment of yourself is too extreme, because you are always influenced by negative emotions, so you need to calm down. Know how to face yourself and face the family you came from.

You are the best. Don't be unconfident.

When we grow up, there will always be some external voices, not just from our families. They will say that we are not good enough and will beat us. You will encounter all kinds of negations in your life in the next few decades. I hope you can cheer yourself up when you hear these voices. As long as you are really trying. Don't rush to deny yourself. In fact, you are excellent and smart. Don't sell yourself short. But don't over-inflate. Be confident and brave. You'll be better.