Hu Yinmeng

Therefore, all meditation, especially meditation at home, should emphasize whether you can always look at the object in front of you with a brand-new eye in the process of important human interaction in real life. When you can look at your object in a new way, that is, you have to let go of many patterns that have been poured into you, you can directly generate energy connections.

Terry Hu

0 1

Care, care is not equal to real care.

Once you enter this mode, you will naturally objectify the other party. Naivety means objectifying the other party. In the interaction of materialization, there can be no equal compatibility, mutual understanding and communication. In my observation, this kind of care mode is also very common, and we must understand that this kind of care mode needs to be overcome.

So let go of the role of caregivers, expose the deepest vulnerabilities, including all these vulnerabilities I just mentioned, and allow our inner children to show them.

02

Release the true inner child

When we were young, we interacted with our parents and actually built an internalized mom and dad. This internalized mom and dad are called "superego" in psychology, and we have entered a relationship with this huge superego.

When we interact with each other, if we don't release the power of "superego", we can't release our inner children. If this inner child is not liberated, we can't communicate with each other. If your inner child and my inner child can't play and interact freely and can't reach such a state, then there is no way to understand that deep tacit understanding.

In other words, two people must put down their defensive mentality, face up to problems, dignity problems, competition problems, role-playing problems, patriarchal consciousness or maternal consciousness, and let their inner children interact with each other equally. But this inner child can't interact for long. If it is too long, some people will use the so-called narcissistic boundary, that is, self-centered baby needs or baby performance to control each other, which is also a very high control means. Because when you become a nursing baby, the other person can feed you and take care of you constantly to meet the needs of his caregivers.

At this time, you control each other in the way of being taken care of, and the other side also controls you in the way of taking care of you, and this materialized two-way interaction mode must be transformed and put down, so that two people can enter a real intimate relationship.

03

The period of power struggle to break through the relationship

Now everyone in the society will read some books in simplified Chinese characters. When we first understand these simplified truths, we think we have mastered the interaction of relationships, but to understand the subconscious undercurrent in the interaction of relationships, we must have some complex psychological analysis foundations. It is a common problem that men do not want to communicate because they are afraid of being controlled and losing their autonomy. Women over-communicate for fear of losing contact, and both communication methods will lead to the disappearance of intimacy.

All mental training constructs self-awareness and self-cognition. But there must be a psychological foundation behind this consciousness, and then enter the spiritual training. We can add awareness training on the basis of psychology. After positive training, whenever we nervously want to connect with each other in the relationship, we should immediately realize how deep the loneliness caused by this insecurity, fear and disconnection is.

We are afraid to face this state of loneliness, isolation and forgetting, and we should use awareness to break through this relationship. ?

Men should also consciously see clearly that when we reject women in an aggressive way of expression or communication, we must see how eager the other person is to establish a real intimate relationship between two people, and temporarily put aside the dignity of men and their own independent needs, put themselves in others' shoes, and experience the inner pain, inner fragility and sadness of women.

In intimate relationship, we must put down our stubborn operation mode and look at things with each other's motives. But most people don't really listen to what others say, the deepest motivation behind it.

We almost listen to these superficial words and connotations, but we can't see the truth behind them. Then we can't produce insight, can't produce understanding because of insight, and can produce empathy because of understanding. After losing empathy, we must continue to fight for rights for a very long time.

Almost every couple has a stage of power struggle, which may last a lifetime. I have always emphasized my importance and accuracy, and then denied each other, suppressed each other, and repelled each other. This hostile state was not resolved until their death. Looking around now, it seems that most men and women have not broken through the struggle process during this period of power struggle. If you can't break through this process, you can't make a loyal commitment.

04

Take intimacy as a belief.

Marriage needs to regard this relationship as a belief, and intimacy is a belief. If we can't take it as a belief and swear in our hearts that I will make a permanent commitment, then when the power struggle is over and we escape the challenge brought by a relationship, we will have a half-hearted demand for other options. As I said at the beginning, the challenge of intimacy is the strongest of all.

In the relationship, the so-called intimate relationship also includes parent-child relationship, of course, it refers to the relationship between parents of both sides, and there are also various relationships, all of which are actually aimed at achieving intimate relationship. The formation of this intimate relationship does not require much discourse exchange, but comes from a basic trust, which most people lack, especially in a society without faith, and it is more difficult to construct this fundamental appeal.

Some people are naturally loyal, but after entering the relationship, they find that their partners are unfaithful, so the original loyalty tendency will gradually disappear. Because he thinks I'm loyal to you but not loyal to you, then I can't stand it. I should also play a game. I may try to balance myself and rehabilitate myself at any time. Therefore, the loyalty of many people will also lead to the loss of people-oriented belief in a disloyal collective operation mode. So, what do we get in a disloyal relationship? What do we get in a loyal relationship?

This is what the current society needs to explore very much. In an unfaithful relationship, what we get is freshness and the possibility of being affirmed again. From the case experience, I found that men have problems such as mistresses and mistresses outside, mostly because they have not been affirmed in the original spouse relationship.

05

Always look at the object in front of you with new eyes.

Why did the initial cooperative relationship start with passionate love? As a result, after eating and drinking Lazarus for several years, mutual respect and appreciation disappeared, and the affirmation and encouragement in words disappeared. Because once you enter the regular life, you begin to enter the unconscious. Our consciousness will not be cultivated for ten days just because we went to the Dojo to attend a Zen Seven, and will continue after returning to our daily life. Our awareness will be gradually lost in the inertia of daily life and in the process of eating and drinking Lazarus.

When we lose this consciousness, we lose the possibility of experiencing ourselves and each other through feelings, that is, the operation of real energy of eyes, ears, nose and tongue, and this possibility will gradually disappear. We will enter the operation of the mind. The mind always runs in inertia mode, because in our daily life, we always plan, design and foresee the future.

We will also get along with a person because of accumulation, and then see his inertia pattern in this person. So we will predict what kind of inertia mode he will enter when he has this expression, and we will draw conclusions about him. We have ancient memories of him. This kind of memory will form our prejudice against this person anytime and anywhere, a cognitive model. When we enter this biased cognitive mode and inertial operation track, our sensitivity of perception and the freshness of finding the truth at any time will disappear.

When this novelty disappears, we have established many preset belief systems in each other, and we are likely to have critical words coming out smoothly. We will have some sarcastic attitudes, and these sarcastic and unfriendly ways of treating each other's feelings will gradually make him feel that he has lost trust in you.

After a long time, he needs to look for another affirmation outside. Others will look at him with fresh eyes, see his true colors, or appreciate some of his qualities. At this time, he will definitely find his own value outside. So many problems are formed in this way. It is also caused by a negative inertia formed by routines.

Therefore, all meditation, especially meditation at home, should emphasize whether you can always look at the object in front of you with a brand-new eye in the process of important human interaction in real life.

When you can look at your object in a new way, that is, you have to let go of many patterns that have been poured into you, you can directly generate energy connections.

06

Teacher Hu Yinmeng's Questions and Answers about Intimacy.

Q

Student: At the beginning of the month, I recommended a female entrepreneur friend to attend Mr. Hu's class. After class, she told me that she was puzzled by Mr. Hu's answer to her question. She once asked Mr. Hu, "How can we get a happy marriage?" Teacher Hu replied: "There is no happy marriage in the world." She didn't ask anything, but she was disappointed and disagreed, but she said to me, "Isn't the marriage between Jiang Yang and Qian Zhongshu happy?" "Here I throw a brick to attract jade, throw this question to my friend, see how do you interpret it? I also hope that Mr. Hu can give this friend who is still in doubt a more thorough answer and guidance.

Hu Yinmeng: There is no happy marriage in the world. Only by accepting the imperfect universal truth can we break through the barriers between us. The students who put forward this question have obviously shown the characteristics of pursuing perfect ideals. If she is helped by Shashevsky's way, she will start to reflect on herself and will not give a satisfactory answer to the question itself. I think she must have conducted in-depth research in the workshop at that time, and may not have entered the situation, which is the work of the three-person support group. Several old students in Shenzhen are already planning the future integration and promotion plan, which means that the course must lead the students step by step, and it is unbearable for ordinary people to be exposed at once, which is why astrology and belief methods have become necessary auxiliary methods!

Q

Saturn is in the fourth house recently, doing his homework. I really don't like some characteristics of my parents, which appear repeatedly in my marriage. I don't know how to accept my imperfect self and my imperfect parents. I really hope they have their own lives and hobbies, and don't focus on me and the children? But I can't, like, hurt them? I hope Mr. Hu will point out the maze ~

Hu Yinmeng: The rising sign is Virgo, Mercury is in Virgo, and Mercury and Uranus are at 90 degrees. You may have a perfectionist tendency in all kinds of relationships, and you think what you see is the complete truth. If so, you should first examine and admit that everyone in the world is basically touching an elephant when observing the phenomenon in front of him. Even if we have all kinds of reference tools, such as mysticism, psychology and so on, it can only be realized to a certain extent. We must humbly admit that we don't fully understand our parents, even ourselves.

Admit that you are not ready to judge others, you may have the will and curiosity to continue to know, then you can regard life as a journey of exploration and discovery, and finally you can understand what Ken Wilbur said: Even God is in front of us. In other words, everything is in motion, don't stay in the stagnant water of prejudice. Are parents' old age, self-restraint, insecurity and love their unchanging truth, or are their limited nature worthy of pity? I still remember when I was in middle school, I didn't want my mother to appear in front of my classmates and teachers, because she was so unhappy and not beautiful, and I felt embarrassed. Looking back now, it really took a lot of pain and blows to live as a human being! Yes, being human is to discover that you are not perfect through all kinds of pains, because people's painful reactions basically come from limitations. Your parents are your yin and yang. To reject them is to reject yourself. Such a simple truth always requires repeated reminders to wake up completely!

Q

1. At the seminar, Mr. Hu often mentioned sexual repression. It seems that many people have this problem. I want to know what is the state or performance of sexual repression.

2. I also want to ask Mr. Hu about female sexual repression in China. As far as I know, all my female friends, whether they are married or not, including myself, have suffered from sexual repression for a long time. If there is no heart-to-heart communication between the two sexes as a prerequisite, the so-called sex can not bring real satisfaction to women. Excuse me, Mr. Hu, how to treat and solve the sexual pain of many women?

Hu Yinmeng: Every school and faction has its own views on the topic of sex. My personal experience is that the phenomenon of life is the unity of body, mind and career, and it is impossible to observe and understand it only by focusing on a single goal. For example, what a person wants to learn in this life is the spirit of great love in Beijing Aquarius, so little love can't be smooth sailing and must be guided in a more objective and detached direction; If a person's northern friendship is Scorpio, it is possible to stage a romantic plot, because the parties secretly hope to break through social taboos, in order to learn the depth and strength of integration, expose the deepest shadow and so on. Therefore, the problem of sex cannot be observed from the general direction of the world. If we have to revert to the discussion, I can only say that after ten years of workshops in the mainland, I have fully seen that mainland women do not know how to face intimate relationships with creative spirit and practice. Therefore, under this social custom that men are superior to women, there is only disappointment, loneliness, frustration, picky and regret in the end. They can't take the initiative to cadres wisely, turn passivity into initiative, and skillfully lead men to break through the unbalanced role-playing of extreme anode and cathode.

The antidote is: We must understand that there is yang in yin and yin in yang, that is, Jung proposed that women have Anima and men have Anima. If intimate partners want to truly integrate, they should first live an independent self with balanced or integrated yin and yang, and then they can truly achieve perfect or integrated sex, because as long as the two sides are unequal, one side will hold the other down out of fear and self-protection, and it is easy to form a materialized relationship with each other. Once materialized, people's vitality no longer flows, then sex will automatically become a routine energy-consuming activity, negative emotions will get stuck in the two chakras below the original desire, and people will feel depressed and depressed. After understanding these truths, we will naturally realize the importance of equality between men and women, integration of body and mind, practice and transparent and fearless communication! In addition, the Oedipus complex in The House of Origin must also be handled and transformed!