Why don't couples want to "long-distance love"?

Why couples don't want to "long-distance love" is because they are afraid of these three questions:

1) quarrel;

2) jealousy;

3) Psychological alienation.

Let's analyze these three problems that make long-distance lovers afraid, and provide some methods and skills to solve these problems.

0 1 quarrel

Quarrel between lovers is inevitable. Actually, fighting is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it can't be ended as soon as possible, making disputes and contradictions bigger and bigger and escalating, and finally seriously hurting the feelings and trust of two people.

Well-known old sayings such as "noisy at the head of the bed, at the end of the bed and" can't let the quarrel last until the next day "all tell us the importance of handling disputes in time and calming down the quarrel as soon as possible.

The disadvantage of long-distance love is to "settle the quarrel as soon as possible": because in a different place, two people can't quarrel face to face, can't talk directly, and can only argue online by making phone calls, videos, texting, etc.

In this way, the possibility of going offline or quarreling without saying a word will be greatly improved, resulting in a quarrel that can last for days or even weeks. Finally, because a small quarrel was not settled in time, it triggered the cold war, which ended in a situation of one beat and two parts.

So, how to deal with the quarrel of long-distance love? It is very simple, that is, two people must reach an agreement: they will never go offline until the quarrel is resolved and the dispute is resolved. This agreement forces two people to talk more, communicate more and talk more, just like quarreling face to face, even online. Don't put off quarreling just because you can't meet in a different place.

be jealous of

People in long-distance relationships tend to be jealous. Because you are not with your lover, you will be jealous of what your lover is doing, who he is with, whether there is any intimate action, and whether it will replace you …

Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. If it is allowed to spread, it will start to think and have doubts. So when you communicate with your lover online, you will be unable to control your jealousy, which will lead to all kinds of temptations for your lover and make your words bitter and unreasonable. In the long run, the atmosphere between you two will be tense and depressed, and couples will no longer be willing to communicate with you actively, and you will gradually push them further and further.

How to curb jealousy? Only by making yourself confident, self-confidence is the best weapon to resolve jealousy. Why is self-confidence useful? Because the root of jealousy is inferiority, and self-confidence is the natural enemy of inferiority, which can eliminate inferiority in one fell swoop.

So how do you make yourself more confident? Try to pay more attention to yourself, love yourself more, constantly explore your own bright spots, constantly improve your literacy in all aspects, and constantly make yourself better.

Once you become confident, you will have confidence in yourself, your lover and your feelings, so that the two of you will spend this time in a safe atmosphere of mutual respect and trust.

03 psychological alienation

Many couples worry that "spatial distance" will lead to "psychological distance" between two people.

Indeed, this kind of worry is based on a certain degree: frequent physical contact can enhance intimacy and narrow the distance between two people's hearts, but if there is a long-term lack of physical contact because of different places, intimacy will be affected.

So how to offset the injury of "lack of physical contact"? There are two ways:

One way is to increase the frequency of online communication. For example, when there was no other place before, two people would not send messages of good morning, good afternoon and good night. Now that they are in different places, it is stipulated that they should say good morning, good afternoon and good night to each other online every day. For example, when there was no long-distance relationship before, two people would not exchange details of each other's work and life too much, so now they are in different places, and these details can also be exchanged online.

Another way is to give each other a small object as a "token of love" before a long-distance relationship. Carrying this token of love with you will make two people's hearts more stable, especially when missing becomes a disease. This token of love can soothe your emptiness and loneliness, just as the other person has been with you.