Ultra-short funny dialogue

1, the man is Pentium at the age of twenty, Microsoft at the age of thirty, Panasonic at the age of forty, and Lenovo at the age of fifty. 2, planting grass does not make people lie down, it is better to replant cactus!

3. Listen to you and save me ten books!

4, please read aloud:: lying plum smells flowers, lying branches hurt and hate low. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green.

The person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who really loves you!

6, hope: the leader follows you, the car lets you, the money sticks to you, the court favors you, the official transport follows you, the school depends on you, the real estate depends on you, and the lover loves you!

7. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

8. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

9. You are angry. If you are angry, cry, come on ... hee hee!

10, even believe that there is a lie hidden in the middle.

1 1. Neither you nor I are wrong. It's all caused by bickering Don't say sorry. You pay for dinner together.

12, the crow said: I am burning charcoal in the swan; The sparrow said: I am an opium smoker among peacocks; The parrot said: I am the one sitting on the stage among the swallows; The roast duck said, I set myself on fire.

13, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

14, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

15, I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

16, the king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "And 1 pig"? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages!"

17, who said I was cross-eyed? I only focus on one thing to change my previous view of things!

18, people who run around brothels are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

19, the wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

20. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

2 1, I want to puppy love, but it's already late. ...

22. Hello: Today is International Women's Day. On behalf of the International Women's Federation, I formally inform you that all women's toilets and bathhouses are open to you free of charge. Please come here.

23. Break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

24. Read the following words and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2 million. These problems are as follows: 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩 鉩

25. Love is like a ghost, which many people believe and few people see.

26. The government thinks about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably!

27. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious, so they hide to see the chickens. Silly chicken didn't pay attention, secretly looking at his mobile phone.

28. As long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

29. When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

30. It's important to remind everyone to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ... and everyone knows what happened afterwards. (Since the Edison Chen incident, I won't say much about the reasons. )

3 1. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

33. I wish you a fortune and set foot on Marlboro. Your career is Hongtashan, your lover is better than Ashima, and your financial resources are all over Greater China.

34. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

35. After meeting me, you will suddenly find-ah, handsome can be so single-minded!

36, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

Remember, first, I am always right, and second, if I am wrong, please refer to the first one.

38. Time is used for wandering, body for loving, life for forgetting and soul for singing.

40. If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die!

4 1, I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

42. Being single is not difficult. The hard part is dealing with people who try their best to make you end your single life.

43. I met a writer's signature: it may seem rough, but it may not be. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

44. There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

45. Is your Mandarin standard? Please repeat after me: look at it, look at it, look at it, forget it, look at it, look at it … OK, stop barking and eat the bones.

46. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

47. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

48. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

49. Holding your wife's hand is like holding your right hand with your left hand; Holding the young lady's hand seems to have returned to 1899; Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret not doing it.

50. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." .

5 1, the problems that can be solved with money are not problems, the problem is that I am poor.

52. A king asked his minister to look for a hundred turtles, but the minister found 99. The king asked why, and the minister said, the other one is looking at the mobile phone!

53. Love at first sight, goodbye infatuation. Take pains to win people's hearts all day. I took great pains to urge my heart. Don't you understand my heart!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just want to cooperate with you, because you are too impulsive. Although I am not a gentleman, I will not take advantage of people's danger!

55. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

56. How far is forever? Get out, boy!

57. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

58, no other half 100 points, only two people 50 points!

59. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said, "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! "

60. A pig and a penguin were put in a refrigerator at minus 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either!

6 1, single is understanding, love is wrong, breaking up is consciousness, marriage is wrong, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubborn, no lover is waste, and many lovers are animals.

The important task of post-62 and post-80 is to manufacture post-08.

63. I ran into you and was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose dog is nobody's business?"

64. Only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

65. After system testing, your mobile phone has been infected with WAp virus. Please open the fuselage immediately and bend the circuit board 90 degrees!

66. Give you a little sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give you a little flood, and you will flood. I'll make the old lady wear a red mouth and give you some color to see see.

Funny, talk about phrases, short sentences and complete works.

A selection of interesting phrases and short sentences

There are so many idiots in the world, but you are the best among them.

I can smoke, fight and drink, but I can't lose love.

I suggest you drink regret medicine instead of rat medicine.

4. You are an elusive person. Is this your pit?

5. Excuse me, where is the handsome guy? There are two smelly dogs everywhere in the street.

6. People who format others with their own ideas.

7. The money in the bank is my external thing, and the money on me is your external thing.

8. Achievement is a key indicator to measure the quality of students and the amount of teachers' bonuses.

9. Chickens like to be called Miss because it sounds better.

10, it is better for a dog to jump over the wall than for a rabbit to bite in a hurry.

1 1, cure "cataract", not baiwenhang.

12, you can't miss yourself, you can't take care of yourself in pain, you can't take care of yourself in the result, and you can't be self-sufficient in happiness.

13, wasting time, wasting this time, this is the life I want.

14, don't pose in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help dropping my camera.

15, time is like cleavage, there will always be a squeeze.

16, each of us is quite a dreamer. When dreams disappear, we will miss home.

17, I'm not a genius, because my first step was not to wear finch diapers.

18. When I love you, I get the eye of a needle, and only I suffer.

19, you are tanned, you are an idiot.

20. Don't think that a fox will chase you just because there is a piece of meat in your mouth.

2 1, don't say anything if you don't want to be blacklisted, okay?

22. What's the use of being handsome? Ability is an all-round man.

23. Are you dressed so beautifully to set me off?

24. There is a lot of carbon dioxide here. Are you polluting it?

25. Beggars don't want to pass by your house, really!

26, is a femme fatale, but the throat is a little thick.

27, you are black, any detergent can't be washed clean.

28. There's nothing to get through. What I can't get through is your thick skin.

I know you are a caring person, and your love will always be your own heart.

30. Life is like a period. Should I teach you a lesson in blood?

3 1, you are not the person I love, so you are just a passerby.

32. I heard that someone has a crush on you, and I don't know what it means to be hungry.

Looking at your face covered with human skin, who knows there is an animal's heart hidden inside?

34. You have the cheek to play hooligans, but you didn't do it in the street.

35. My stomach cramp was scared out by your surprise.

36. It's good to know what you are.

37. How can you be mature if you don't study when you are young?

38. They are all rural foxes. When you put on a dress, you think you are an urban serial killer.

39. I want to bite you, but I am Muslim.

40. I feel like two pigs, because neither can describe your IQ.

4 1, you are the biggest pencil I have ever seen. What big two pens!

42. It is not the Buddha who asks for a teacher, but the team; ; I don't read classics, I'm lonely.

43. "Sex" is very dangerous, so you need to be cautious when entering the market.

44. My least favorite holiday is Labor Day, because I work every day.

45. If cleverness is a crime, then I am willing to commit a heinous crime.

46. It's really hard to be human. I really envy you. There is neither wrong nor sin.

47. If being beautiful is a mistake, then I am all wet.

48. I heard that you are famous and have made many movies, but now you are not allowed to show porn.

49. I heard that you are very rich in Japan now, and you can often see your arrogance on TV.

As a noble example of failure, you are too successful.

Funny signature is too short

Funny signature is too short

1, I worked hard to gain weight just to occupy an extra piece of land in your heart.

I want to choose a beautiful man as my personal record, so that I can support others.

It is the sun that wakes me up every day, because its light is too dazzling.

When I want to lose weight, I can think about you more, because you are more useful than diet pills.

People who are not fat say they are fat every day, and fat people are numb.

6. When I was pursuing Happyness, I was afraid that I wouldn't be at home, so I have been staying at home now.

7. Don't tell me about life, because you were not born at all.

8. Take the dog out to see who is unhappy with a bite.

As the saying goes, life is worse than death, but I prefer to fall asleep.

10, it's not that I don't lose weight, I'm just afraid of rebounding.

1 1. There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I'm afraid I'll be polluted as soon as I go out.

12, I'm not out of tune, I'm just tone deaf.

13, falling in love with you, I don't want to leave easily, my warm quilt.

14, I have never been hurt, because no one has ever hurt me.

15, people who watch Lao Tzu's jokes will laugh at you one day.

16, we are in the flower season, living like pigs, and our brains are degenerating.

17, if I were a director, I'd let you die at gunpoint, before you saw the audience.

18, I am not good-looking, but I am not as free and easy as you.

19, this morning in spring, I woke up easily, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night, and couldn't wake up during the day.

20. There is a feeling that it is not sensational; There is a kind of person called nonhuman.

2 1, hate less when using books, and spend less when using money.

22. If a friend is unhappy, tell everyone to be happy.

If you hold something that doesn't belong to you, it will only hurt yourself.

24. I am human and have a temper. I can talk, and I get angry.

Not everyone can see my lady side, so I have to pretend to be a lady in front of you.

I don't have the heart to scold me if you don't know me, and I don't have the heart to cut me if you know me.

27, when you can't hold back, I am willing to let you out, isn't it fart?

28. In this world, many people see me, but few people accompany me.

29. When people say I love you, I always say: Take out your heart and let me see if it is love.

30. Life is sad. Did you sleep soundly? I was awakened by a bubble of urine.

3 1, I look at your bright head at one end and look at you silly at the other.

32. If class is a hypnotic, then surfing the Internet is a refreshing agent.

Don't let me kick you like a ball, I'm afraid you can't stand my continuous ravages.

34, just an extra person, so no one will care about my sadness.

I heard that money is the dirtiest thing in the world. You can throw it to me if you don't want it.

36, life, please give me some regret medicine, give me a cup of water.

37. The beginning of life is beautiful; Zero points, eggs.

38. These days, you can't rely on yourself, but you want to rely on others.

Don't talk with your eyes closed when you have nothing to do. People who don't know think it's a fake body.

40. Men who don't hit women are all good men.

4 1, I will never do two things in my life: 1. Neither will this one. That won't happen either.

42. I promise not to cry. You fucking smoke me with onions.

43. The characteristic of the school is that it won't let you do whatever you want.

44. Don't fall in love with me, because I am an alien from another planet.

45. I can't answer all your questions, but one person is very punctual in spending time with his mother.

46. Actually, I am highly educated, but I am a farmer in temperament.

I haven't been in contact with society for a long time, but I didn't expect to be so open now.

Cheating is not popular now, but handing in blank papers is popular.

49. Just a clown who gave you a smile but couldn't give me sincerity.

Women, don't be deceived by us slick men. Hereby advise.

Qq is funny, funny, and 2020.

1, school, you can get my people but not my heart.

2. Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

Do you think I am afraid of gossip? What I'm afraid of is that you listen to those right and wrong.

A dull life is not what I want, it will make me feel like a dead man.

Traveling with my husband and meeting my ex-boyfriend, I exchanged a few pleasantries. On the way back, my husband asked me, "Who was that talking to you just now?" Me: "I am an advanced worker in the following units!

6. Sister, I'm not sentimental. My sister just likes beautiful things.

7. For me, 8 13 is not Valentine's Day, but the day of school.

8. You are tired if you have a heart. If you have no heart, it doesn't matter.

9. I planted a girlfriend in spring and harvested a bunch of men in autumn.

10, slash my heart and say you love me, lover. You have a good sense of humor.

1 1, once I went to the subway with my boyfriend and played a trust game on the way. I closed my eyes and he led me away. I got on the subway smoothly, and finally he helped me sit down. Then he said, "Don't drive, this seat was given by someone else."

12, north nose, oil injection.

13, my husband caught a cold and coughed badly these days. My wife found medicine for him. The husband said, "Can I take medicine to relieve my cough?" My wife said it would work! "My husband came home at night, and his wife asked him how the effect was. Honey, it really works. Cough, pull the trouser pocket, cough, pull the trouser pocket, I cough with fear. ...

14, my friend sent a message saying that she was hit by a car, and I expressed concern. She answered. She was scared. It's okay. I mean, did she miss it? As a result, this damn intelligent input method was typed as "Aren't you dead?" And it's out, I can't even pull it …

15, I heard today that my neighbor's sister had an affair after only one year of marriage and eloped abroad with a rich second generation. This makes me, an unmarried person, have a little fear of marriage. What should I do if I don't meet the rich second generation after marriage?

16, bears can save America @

17, "In order to lose weight, I reluctantly spent 3,000 yuan on a fitness card. Although I didn't go once, I didn't have money to eat. I really lost 10 A Jin month. " -It really works!

18, I heard a woman say loudly in the hospital: "Doctor, I want to take off the ring you pressed for me yesterday. The doctor asked why. She said, "Stab people. The doctor asked how to tie it? She said, stab her husband. Then I saw her husband looking for cracks in the ground.

19,-No matter how awesome, you can pick it up with your mouth when it falls from the sky.

20, diaosi will eventually counterattack, and the fungus will not return to powder.

2 1, the death squad is: no food during the day, no sleep at night, military training to death.

22. Wife: Honey, I want to eat an apple and wash one for me. Honey, I'm not going. Honey, you don't listen to me. Honey, I'm not a voice-activated wife. I patted her and her husband left obediently. Honey, that's a touch screen.

23. Notice of commencement: Your school was rebuilt in a different place and was forced to postpone its commencement. Because your school collapsed innocently, the school has a special holiday for one year.

24. I watch TV with my sister. My mother came over with two apples. My sister grabbed them and said, "It's all mine." Mother said angrily, "One for each person." Then Lz happily grabbed one from her sister and said with a smile, "It's still mom." My mother snatched it from me again, took a bite, and said with a straight face, "It's not you.

25. It doesn't matter if you destroy me, because others will destroy you in the next second.

26. Just after dinner in the evening, a rich second generation kept talking and boasting about how great he felt. I looked at him silently, thinking that I was a descendant of the dragon and a socialist successor, and said nothing. What are you dragging? Hum!

27. Loneliness in excitement, excitement in loneliness. The feeling of missing you is to drink a cup of coffee with wine ... will you miss me?

28. What we like in our mouths is our habits! It turns out that eating chocolate is addictive!

29, waiting for the bus after school, the bus came, I want to use the bus card to wave, indicating that I want to sit, I took out a menstrual towel, (menstrual towel and bus card are put in the school uniform, the school uniform pocket is very large) I will never forget everyone's eyes …

30, the bathroom is newly opened, and the discount is big! The customer asked, "What's the price?" The boss said, "Men's bathroom 10, women's bathroom 100." Customer: "Why is the gap between men and women so big!" Boss: "That's right. Excuse me, which bathroom do you want to go into? "

3 1, can I have sex with my chest hair and waist?

You'd better leave me! Go as far as possible. Please stop pestering me. I really can't stand you. You will only hurt me. The more you love me, the more painful I am ... dead mosquito.

33. A man's hand was cut by a kitchen knife, and his girlfriend was preparing to bandage it. The man said contemptuously, you help me suck it and disinfect it. His girlfriend asked him why, and he said it proved that you love me. His girlfriend said, "Does feeding you blood mean loving you?" ? He nodded, and then his girlfriend slowly took off her pants and said, "I'll give you another chance to prove that you love me!" " My period is coming!

34. Don't say that personality is incompatible, don't say constellation, don't tell lies in your eyes, the key is face and background, right? I'm right, right?

Interviewer: "Your resume says that you are quick in mental arithmetic, so let me ask you, 13 times 19?" I blurted out, "45!" Interviewer: "This is far from it." Me: "But soon?"

No matter what dog I am admitted to, I believe I have a bright future.

37. During the Spring Festival, you will blow money, rain money, hail gold and silver, make diamonds and ice, grow Yushu, hang pearl cream and bear agate fruit. Be careful! Send you three chocolates in the new year: the first dove-I hope you get all the happiness in the world; Di Chin's second chapter-I wish you a golden age imperial life; Cadbury's third thing-I wish you all the best in the new year!

38. It's not our fault that we don't want to do our homework, but it's people who are to blame for setting summer vacation and winter vacation in the hottest season and the coldest season.

39. Forgive me for saying something funny. Although my tears have been flowing, it's just because you said that you are also very important.

40. Come to school early every day. It seems that we love studying, but a few people know that we are here to copy our homework.

4 1, the pens I bought last summer that are particularly easy to write are finally used up. After a day of class, I feel my body is hollowed out. Lack of sensory ability, real timidity.

42. On the park bench, the girl sitting next to me eats ice cream so cute that I can't help imitating it. Every time she licks the ice cream, I make it. Seeing my sister's angry and disgusting eyes at me, I smiled and explained, "Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not a pervert!" " "My sister is even angrier when she hears this:" But that's my ice cream you're licking! "

43. They are a group of little stars. There is love in their place. If the memory is as strong as steel, should I laugh or cry?

44. I warn you that you have three seconds to go out at once. Well, three seconds have passed, and you haven't rolled. Then you will want to leave me for the rest of your life!

45. He said I was funny. Who knows my heart hurts?

46. The life of Khan.

47. I have a small chest and save cloth for the country.

48. My advantage: I have the courage to admit my mistakes; My weakness: I will never change.

49. Don't think a boy is too naive, because he likes you. If he doesn't like you, he is more mature than your father!

50. Santa Claus came to China and fell down. No one dared to help him. He froze to death.