Help write a paper about how parents cultivate their children's correct values.

1。 Parents should first have healthy values. Other people's children are top students, but their own children are poor students. It's hard to talk about children with others. Other children are piano champions, but their own children are thieves. They often steal money and play games, and mix like loafers. There is nothing they can do. Other people's children get ahead, but their children often commit crimes. In the future, they will be a guy who likes to stay in prison. Other children are very happy with their parents, but their own children are like enemies and can't say three words to themselves. Conflict is the main theme between parents and children.

Yes, many parents are dissatisfied with their children's education. They always blame this and that, and of course they blame themselves, blaming themselves for their low educational level and failing to educate their children well. However, it is useless to blame. In the process of children's growth, you don't have a decent and practical way to cultivate and communicate with him. By the time he reaches 18, it will be too late.

Cultivating children into useful talents is not a simple matter, but it is not a complicated and profound matter. As long as the method is proper and subtle, I believe you can cultivate a mentally healthy child. Generally speaking, the cultivation of children can be divided into two parts, one is the cultivation of the body, and the other is the cultivation of the spirit. Children have a healthy body and an independent and sound personality. Well, he can enter the society and become an activist, and your training will be completed. I believe most parents have no problem with the former, while the latter is more difficult. How to make him have a healthy spiritual world, shine on you is better than blue, which is the wish of every parent. Then spiritual cultivation includes many aspects. For example, concept training, does your child have a concept of right and wrong? You can judge for yourself what to do and what not to do. Without the ability to judge right and wrong, they are instigated by bad habits and become criminals carelessly. Why are there so many juvenile delinquents? It's because parents didn't cultivate their ideas in their growth. For example, will cultivation. What is will cultivation? For example, if your child encounters difficulties in doing something, he will give up halfway and try everything. When he sees sesame seeds throw watermelon. This is because you haven't cultivated your will, and his potential can't be exerted at all. Such as interest cultivation. You find that some other children like piano, some like painting, some like technology, and they all have their own skills. Your children don't like learning, and no one is interested. You must be very upset, thinking that your children only know how to eat and drink, and they will accomplish nothing in the future. The problem here is that you haven't discovered and explored his interest. A child who doesn't get good grades in all subjects may be a genius, a doer or a philosopher, but you don't feel anything at all, so let nature take its course and let him learn something that he is not interested in at all. You are tired after the child suffers. Generally speaking, these are the cultivation of psychological quality. If these aspects are sound, children can explore their own world without worry.

In fact, children's psychological quality is mostly completed in family education. The cultivation of knowledge and moral education in schools is extensive, so many students are honest and cannot prescribe the right medicine. This is also the reason why some students in the same school can become talents, while others become redundant people in society. It is impossible for children's spiritual education to rely on schools. Children get spiritual imitation from their parents. Why do you say like father, like father? Because the subtle education in the family is far more profound than that in the school. So family training is the key to children's growth.

Then, as a parent, what qualities do you need to have in order to educate your children more correctly? Do you need profound knowledge? Not necessarily. Many farmers don't know much, but their children are sensible and self-taught, which shows that your knowledge is not a necessary condition. Do you need a high degree? That's not necessarily true. The education level of China people in the previous generation was not high. Do you need special educational knowledge? This is not necessarily true, because you learn a lot of knowledge, but if you can't target your children's situation, you can't teach them in accordance with their aptitude.

I think, first of all, you need to have healthy values, and then you can share these values with your children. This is subtle, this is the best education. We in China have many traditional and modern values. Some want our children to get ahead, some want their children to honor their ancestors, some want their children to realize their unfulfilled dreams, some want their children to earn a lot of money and live up to their own cultivation, some want to go all out to become super boys and super girls, and some want their children to inherit their own family business. To tell the truth, these wishes are not wrong, they all belong to the dream of success, but they are all a bit overwhelming and unhealthy values, which were wrong from the beginning. At first, it was wrong. If the child's development direction is contrary to your wishes, it will become more and more wrong in the future. Your cultivation of children will become a struggle with them. You have struggled for half your life, and the children have struggled for half their lives and become enemies. This shows that your own values are wrong. Many traditional values are wrong and must be adjusted. Why do many parents fail to educate their children? It's not that they don't have enough education and knowledge, but that they don't have correct values education, and their requirements for children are either accommodating or overbearing. So what I want to talk about below is to let parents have a relatively correct and open value first, and then share it with their children, form training, form education, and establish a sound personality. In order to make it vivid, I will illustrate each point with examples. In this way, every parent can see their children's problems according to examples, and then prescribe the right medicine and teach them in accordance with their aptitude.

The most important thing is to cultivate ideas. When children are two or three years old, they can actually cultivate their spirits. Say it's training, but don't be too deliberate. It's done in fun communication, not indoctrination.

Children of two or three years old are conscious. You give him something to eat, he is happy, you don't give it to him, he is unhappy, that is, he is conscious. In other words, at this time, you can communicate with him in a very primitive way. He wants to eat, you say, it's too dirty to eat. Smart children can accept your ideas. He remembered that it was dirty, inedible and bad for his health, so he could begin to understand it very primitive or spontaneously. This is conscious and can form ideas. In the stage of concept formation, the concept of right and wrong can be cultivated. The concept of right and wrong compensation may run through the whole education stage of children, which requires parents to have a very correct view of right and wrong.

Therefore, the cultivation of ideas runs through the whole education stage of children. Without a strong sense of right and wrong, it is difficult for him to make a correct judgment at a critical moment. Usually, we will say that this child is really "stupid" and dares to do anything.

In fact, the cultivation of ideas runs through life. What kind of ideas parents have, what kind of ideas children must have. Parents are not filial to the elderly, and children may not be filial to you in the future. Then the cultivation of ideas should be as quiet as spring rain. For example, your five or six-year-old children go to the seaside with you. Suddenly, he found someone else's toy on the beach, and he liked it very much. He immediately took it for himself and went to play by himself. What will you do at this time? You must let him have the idea of returning what he found to others. If you indulge him to take what he finds for himself, then he will develop into something stolen for himself in the future. In a word, you must give him a universal value, otherwise he will form the habit of being greedy for petty gain and cheap, and will suffer in the future. What should you do? You told him seriously that this is the child's thing and we have to return it to others. You take him away and give it back to someone else. What are the consequences of this? The child has no sense of right and wrong yet. Because he likes this toy, he played down the consciousness of returning it to its original owner. Driven by the desire to like, he really wants to be himself. You caught him when he couldn't put it down. Although you explained the correct values to him, the method was wrong. He is disgusted with what you have done. He may think that you have violated his rights. He may cry, but he doesn't believe it. He may think that he won't let his parents know his findings in the future. This not only fails to instill the values of returning things to their original owners, but also conflicts with parents and has no educational consequences. Maybe you should change the method of discussion at this time. For example, you can enjoy this toy with him. It's really beautiful, but any lost child must be in a hurry. Shall we give it back to him? If we lose something, we will be very anxious and hope that others will return it to us, and so on. We need to make this concept clear in reason first, so that children can consciously accept this concept. Then go back to others together, experience the joy of implementing this concept in the process of returning to others, and even give children certain rewards. I can assure you that if it can be so perfect, then the concept of giving back what you found to others is absolutely and thoroughly instilled in the past.

In fact, many parents will give something to their children when they find it, thinking that they have taken advantage of it, or they simply don't realize that this is a wrong idea instilled in their children. Because it may be a very small thing for parents. But in the long run, the concept of children has been ruined by your carelessness, and it is too late for you to change this concept in the future.

There are also some children who are greedy. For example, when they see children playing with interesting things and eating delicious food, they will certainly cry. At this time, in order to stop him from crying, parents will call others over to play for him and give him food. This practice also virtually indulges children's possessiveness, and it is terrible to have no restrictions. Then you'd rather let the child cry once and tell him that it belongs to someone else and can't be unreasonably possessed. If you let him cry this time, he will cry less in the future, because he will have an idea in the future and know that it belongs to someone else, so I can't take it away by force. It's no use crying, he will think of the right way under your guidance.

There are so many ideas in life that it is difficult for us to distinguish which ones must be cultivated. This requires parents to consciously and kindly guide. Many concepts start from understanding human nature, and guide children to respect and cherish life and others from human nature. This is a very universal and correct view of right and wrong. After he forms a certain view of right and wrong, he will consciously develop his own view of right and wrong. You will find that your children are "good", smart and sensible, and have their own opinions. If he has an idea, he will have his own opinion, his own judgment, and even correct your adult's mistakes, and you will find that others praise your child's intelligence, not just the petty and flattering intelligence. You just feel that you have the rudiment of becoming a social person. For example, a struggling bird falls to the ground, and children often torture it, which is caused by children's curious nature. Then you tell it that this bird is like a human being. It's hurt, and its children are waiting for it to come home. You can do therapy with the children. If the treatment is effective, children will be happier than many games when they see birds flying. And his education of respecting and cherishing life is not learned from textbooks at all, but has penetrated into his mind. Will the children educated in this way grow up to be murderers? It's impossible. He built a strong fortress morally. Don't worry, he will always move behind a passing line of morality and law, and he has promised not to degenerate.

Obviously, this requires the parents' own humanity, and you can inspire the children's humanity. Ideas determine the big aspects of children's lives, but they all start from small things. After having children, parents must pay attention to their bad manners.

3。 The positioning for the child is to prevent him from getting ahead. Some of us are parents and have been poor since childhood. Elders and teachers will teach us that we can only be human if we suffer. As parents, we really struggled and suffered a lot before we got an environment where our children could live with peace of mind. Since you have practiced, you must think it is the truth, and you can only be a master if you are bitter. Therefore, I hope my children will go up a storey still higher, get ahead and become Superman and Superman.

Obviously, this kind of thinking is wrong. To put it bluntly, it is the residue of feudalism and the ideological residue of hierarchy. With this idea, you will spend too much energy on educating your children, but haste makes waste.

It's not surprising that our China people's desire for success is inherited from feudal times. In ancient times, if a family wanted to live in harmony, there was no other way but to be an official in the exam. When you become an official, you will get ahead. In ancient times, you were a discriminated craftsman; Being a scientist, inventing something is heresy, and even reporting your rumors is misleading; You have a talent for entertainment, selling singers, becoming a star, and being discriminated against and humiliated. In short, you can hardly rely on your own talent except eating and drinking Lazarus. Modern society is different, the division of labor is very clear, and the sense of equality is strengthened. No one discriminates against you except champions and singers, and many people praise you. It's almost turned over. It can be said that everyone can develop their talents in various industries and gain the value of life, and the way is much wider. However, in fact, feudalism has not been eliminated. As long as you see a group of parents get together to compare with their children, you will find that they don't regard their children as individuals, but as a brand to earn a facade for themselves. This taste is wrong, so I want to emphasize that parents should have a correct attitude towards their children first.

For example, when people saw Ding Junhui playing billiards well and becoming a world champion, they all admired his father's vision and made a bet on finding the right way for their children. Think about what talent your child has, find it out quickly, send it to gamble and get ahead. Think about it. No, there may be thousands of such dads all over the country, but only one Xiaoding has become the world champion. Most of them have made children work hard for half their lives, lost the opportunity to learn and never won the championship. He is not the material, or not the top material at all, just a victim of your success. Besides, if your children live a happy and ordinary life, there is no need to be a world champion. Why do you need a little vanity?

Some parents, who are business owners, want their children to inherit their careers in the future. There was once a child who just graduated from college and said that his parents worked in a factory. He wants to be a manager after graduation and finally become an heir, but he is afraid because he is most afraid of management and doesn't want to work at all. He just wants to go there to be an ordinary employee and live a simple life. It is impossible to drive ducks to the shelves.

Therefore, being a parent for the first time is like entering an examination room for the first time. Don't expect too much, don't try to get 100, be normal, so as to play the best level. Children are definitely not for showing off, nor are they designated to do anything. If parents have a wrong attitude on this issue, children may suffer. I met a mother who kept talking about how her children got the first place in the college entrance examination. She was so vain that her child failed in the college entrance examination. In order to satisfy the mother's vanity, the child may make some moves and tell some lies. Mother and son never really knew each other.

Of course, on this issue, I am not opposed to letting children become talents and become top figures in a certain field. There is no objection to this. This involves children's intellectual exploration and how to cultivate children's interest and development potential, which will be discussed later. But this is definitely not something you want to do when your child is very young. Piano is popular today, English is popular tomorrow and Peking Opera is popular the day after tomorrow. You want to learn everything, learn some doorways and follow the crowd. Many parents are like this, saying that they can't lose at the starting line, which is wrong. No one can compete with you, lose or lose. Children are a small universe, and it is most important to improve themselves. Don't join in the fun with social trends.

So, what should your child look like? To put it bluntly, on earth, he is a creature with everything. In the human category, he is a person and an ordinary person. What he can do in the future is not what you can plan now. The purpose of parents is to make their children happy all their lives. Let him become a qualified social person. With this normal mind, OK, your family education will have a loose and correct start. Choose a good school and a good teacher for your child as early as one or two years old, and you won't be angry. What's the hurry? The most important teacher is himself. It's no use sending him to America for kindergarten. What children need most is the intellectual exchange and emotional incubation of their parents.

Well, if you are right, this child can't compete with others. Your parents just want to improve his ability and let him have a happy self-life, so you don't worry. All you have to do is spend more time with him. Communicate with him. When children go to school, there are top students and poor students in the class, and your child happens to be a poor student. Don't worry, there are always poor students. Don't feel inferior for your child. Trust your children. Poor students are no big deal. He must have other majors that are unrealistic in the exam. Find out where his intelligence lies. Ang Lee, the great director, is still a poor student. He accumulated a lot of money only in his thirties and forties. It turns out that all his artistic talents are hidden in the focal plane. As for how to find talents, we will also talk about it below. This section emphasizes that there are no poor children, only happy and painful children. If you want your child to be a happy child, don't expect too much, but cultivate it step by step.

4。 Every child has his own talent.

I know that parents must be particularly interested in knowing that my child's grades are poor to the standard. Does he have a gift? Where is it? Can you tell me?

So, let me talk about talent exploration first. In case you have something urgent.

A friend of mine is a writer and works in a literary institution. But every time I talk about her daughter, I always lift my head. Why? My grades are not good, and I don't see any special skills. Moreover, as a poor student for a long time, he has always avoided learning problems and formed a gap with his parents. For parents, it is really a kind of pressure, because no matter what dinner or public place, people will ask her about her children, which is nothing more than studying and going to school. This problem is unavoidable for parents. Unfortunately, the college entrance examination can't even get on the college entrance examination line. Later, I finally got into a junior college class in a normal university. She always feels that as long as children are as good as ordinary students, she will be satisfied. My daughter went to college for boarding and came back to find porn in her schoolbag. She felt terrible and didn't do well in her study and education.

But one day when we talked on the phone, she told me happily that she found that her daughter had a gift that she had never seen before. She found a poem written by her daughter in her diary, and her prose was beautifully written and her thinking was unconstrained. At first glance, you can see that she is brilliant, which is really incomparable to children of the same age. She has been looking for her daughter's talent for years, and it is hidden here. Although her daughter's writing doesn't explain what a genius is, it at least shows that she can achieve something through writing. So, after discussing with her daughter, she redesignated the goal of study, that is, to take the postgraduate exam and develop into literary criticism in the future. It can be said that when this point reached * * *, she and her daughter found confidence, and now they are all moving towards this goal, and the effect is good. My daughter's study in college is also like a duck to water. She watched many world famous books and movies, and her comments were clear, which was completely different from that in middle school.

I want to use this example to illustrate that a child with poor grades is very likely to be a genius in some way. It's just that you didn't find it and didn't build a platform for him.

If this mother doesn't work in literature and doesn't understand the value of her daughter's diary, it is possible that this girl is a mediocre girl who is overwhelmed by the poor students' hats on weekdays and won't show her specialties to others. The reality is that in real life, because parents are busy with work and business, or their own education level is relatively low, they can't find their children's talents at all, or turn a blind eye. In this way, you can't build a platform for your children's talents. He will always be a poor student on the platform he is not good at, despised by others and looked down upon by himself. I can't help but say that this is the case in many situations now. I have seen many parents go to other places to work and do business, leaving their children with grandparents. Children take money and spend their talents on playing games, gambling and mixing society. I'm sorry.

So, how do parents discover their children's talents, especially those of poor students? I think guardians should pay attention to it and look for it. For example, a poor student may have a poor rational exam, but he has a strong perceptual thinking ability. He is often a good hand in music, painting, literature and other artistic fields. Even if you don't have this vision yourself, invite friends with certain literary vision to help you explore, guide and give him a platform. In this way, he will not use his programming ability for gambling, nor his aesthetic ability for puppy love and teenage rebellion.

In fact, there is no need to worry about discovering a child's talent, which may appear at every stage from one year old to twenty years old. Of course, those talents that need to practice childlike innocence, such as piano, must be judged by professionals. Generally speaking, we can find out from his interest, exertion, even blood type and constellation in the process of growing up.

In other words, the intelligence factor of a top student may be revealed very early. A student of medium height, healthy and balanced development. A poor student is not suitable for the examination system. Parents need more patience to build a new platform for him, but don't let him lose his specialty in inferiority. Excellent students and poor students are distinguished according to the school education system. For parents, there is no underachiever. You must have confidence in your child, but you still need to cultivate his sound personality. In terms of ability, as long as you are careful, he will give you a surprise sooner or later.

5。 Team spirit is very important. The above two parts are about parents' basic attitude towards their children: First, don't expect too much, it is wrong to cultivate children into gods. Second, if your child is a poor student, don't be disappointed. Help him find the stage when he grows up.

With these two attitudes, let's talk about the cultivation of basic quality. The first is team spirit.

Why should we emphasize team spirit, that is, deal with the relationship between children and individuals and groups? Because, when your children enter kindergarten and even enter the society in the future, they have to deal with each other in a group. The relationship between individual and collective is inevitable. If this problem is not solved, put the child everywhere.

Let's China, from an early age, did not deliberately cultivate this team spirit, so some people say that China people are fragmented and can't twist a rope. Twisting into a rope must rely on conscious education. On the contrary, some parents, especially those of the older generation, will tell their children, hey, if you can be lazy, don't make yourself too tired and get your clothes dirty. This is an education against team spirit. It is strange that such a child will never leave when he grows up.

Talking about this comparison with friends, I often sigh that our individualistic education will really hollow out the country's reserve forces, which is incomparable to others' team spirit education. You can talk to your relatives and friends more about this example. I hope parents will realize that our reserve forces will build a solid team spirit and benefit the country and the people.

What I said above is the benefit of cultivating team spirit to the whole country and the promotion of the centripetal force of the whole nation. Then some parents asked, is it good for the country and necessary for individuals? My children are smarter than ordinary children and stand out from the crowd. Is it unnecessary to hang out with the team? Will hanging out with the team make everyone disappear? This statement is poor!

It can be said that knowing how to integrate into the collective and understand teamwork is an essential ability for every child to grow up. What are the reasons? First, your children will be inseparable from the team and the ability to get along with the team in the future, from kindergarten to social units, and even when they become the boss of a company and the president of a country. Think about it, if you are the boss and lack the ability to cooperate with the whole company, will the following people work for you? As soon as he became president, he thought highly of himself and did not regard the government as a team. Parliament will impeach you sooner or later. From the beginning, it is difficult for you to integrate into the group in kindergarten, and parents have a headache every day. This is the most realistic. Parents always don't understand why other children can play well and their own children always want to go home and be alone. The reason is not the child, but that you have not cultivated his team emotional intelligence and team ability. Second, the team is a collective that learns from each other and makes progress together. Only in the team can the individual's ability be greatly improved or even realized. Your quality is relatively high, and you may play a great role in the team, with a high position and a leading position. People who don't say that you are strong enough to be above the team will be dumped by the team sooner or later and can't do anything.

Generally speaking, people are social animals. You can't even build a toilet yourself, let alone realize the value. Therefore, we must seek opportunities for survival in groups. Then, it is difficult for a person to succeed without team quality, especially in modern society. In our society, only a few occupations are single. For example, you are a writer and an isolated artist, but you create independently to realize your own value. But if you are not from a social team, do you have any creative experience? Must be a castle in the air. Moreover, on the surface, you are working alone, but in fact you are still learning from a group of artists. No one can leave the team and play by themselves. In this case, team spirit becomes the attribute of growth.

In the next part, we talk about how to cultivate children's team spirit.

6。 How to cultivate children's team spirit? In fact, a large part of our children like groups and will soon be able to have fun with children. His team spirit is easy to cultivate.

There are still some people who are withdrawn, shy or indifferent. In short, there are various reasons for not wanting to mix in the group and going to kindergarten, which is more difficult. If parents are busy and nobody cares, such people will be distorted in the long run. Let's talk about how to get him into the league first.

The bond between children and the group should be group activities, or sports, or games. When a child experiences happiness in group activities and a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in completing the whole activity, he will subconsciously understand that the group has such happiness and can realize such value in the group. He won't stay if you let him stay at home. Then, what should children do if they are afraid of groups and withdrawn? There are many specific methods. For example, if he doesn't play with children, he can play with his parents at any time. Parents can play interactive games with him, such as playing football. At least two people need to play together and pass the ball together. He thinks that when playing, oh, I see, group activities are fun, which is different from playing alone. Then one day, when my father was away, I told him to try to play with others, gradually adapt to the interaction with others, gradually make him like group activities and slowly send him to children's activities. Can step by step, step by step, slowly change his prejudice against children, experience the happiness of the collective, and integrate into the collective. This is for lonely and shy children.

There is also a kind of arrogance. For example, as mentioned by the above readers, because children learn a lot after class, they feel that the teacher is very boring, and they don't like going to class or attending classes. It is also dangerous to integrate this kind of thinking into the team. I feel tall and this team is not suitable for me. If I think so, I will definitely suffer in the future. Therefore, parents must teach their children to respect the team (the teacher is the backbone of the team), and even if they understand what the teacher says, they can listen to what they understand differently. I think it may be that parents' sense of superiority to their children affects their self-feeling, self-esteem, bad teachers and children who are not as good as themselves, which is very dangerous. In this way, in the long run, children are ambitious. So you must make him respect the team, don't overestimate himself and underestimate the teachers and classmates, so that he may be an excellent role after integrating into the team. Without a team, you may learn nothing but narcissism in the future. Because rejecting the team means that you have lost the opportunity to learn a lot of abilities.

Then the core of team spirit is not just playing with children, but the first step. The most important thing is to contribute and find happiness. You must contribute to the children's activities in the team, and affirm the results, so that he can understand that his contribution has helped the team achieve good results, be affirmed and feel satisfied. For example, if a child participates in tree planting activities at school, he may just go through the motions with the crowd and have fun. But if you come back and ask him how many trees he planted today and how many trees he planted in your class, tell him that these trees planted in your class will become a forest in the future, which will play a great role in greening and change the scenery of this area. He'll be surprised. He didn't expect that what he and his team did would have such great value. Maybe after the group activity, he will become conscious, become an active member of the activity and understand the value of what he has done. If you blame him for making his clothes so dirty and sweaty when he participates in activities, he will be confused about group activities and will not work hard at anything. It is difficult for such a person to complete his career with collective strength. If a person can become the leader of the collective cause, he will realize his own value.

In the education of children, on the one hand, it is the cultivation of self-spirit and ability, on the other hand, it is the adaptation of the team. The two are not contradictory and complement each other. Self-personality and ability can be like a duck to water in a team. The cultivation of team spirit is a long-term process, which does not need to be accomplished overnight, but forms living habits. Not only in the school team, but also in the family team and the neighbor team. Always pay attention to dedication and need to find satisfaction. Children who cultivate team spirit have the ability to quickly integrate into and adapt to the team, have friends wherever they go, and can make a difference wherever they go. I do it for everyone, and everyone does it for me. This is not rhetoric, but real skill. A child who has a team spirit since childhood will also make the education of his parents easier, because he has the opportunity to learn from each other and educate himself in the team.