Twelve constellations hilarious jokes _ Twelve constellations funny jokes

Ask a little joke about the constellation.

The curse of the twelve constellations reflects Aries: I will be angry and say: dare to insult me! Then he rushed up to hit the man, and the man struggling to get rid of the fight said, let me go, don't stop me, let me hit him! (Impulse index: ★★★★★) ★ Taurus: I will say to that person very indifferently: Just because you say I am a pig doesn't mean I am a pig! Then leave in the surprised eyes of everyone as if nothing had happened. (Pretending to be dead: ★★★★★ ★) ★ Gemini: A person who is eloquent and likes to be a teacher will definitely say to that person: everything needs a reason, and insulting others also needs a reason. I don't know you, and you don't know me. You obviously have no reason to insult me. Besides, it is wrong to insult others. We should learn to be rational, polite and civilized, and be a good youth. Insulting others will do harm to others' hearts, especially the healthy growth of younger brothers and sisters ~ ~ ~ until the person who insulted him heard of hanging himself. (Eloquence level: ★★★★ ★) Cancer: At first, I tried to suppress my anger until the man insulted his loved ones and finally erupted like a volcano, which was out of control. (homesickness index: ★★★★★) ★ Leo: A confident and even arrogant Leo must disdainfully say: quarreling with you will only lower my status! (Smelly fart degree: ★★★★★ ★) ★ Virgo: Virgo people will calmly and rationally analyze the reasons, motives, purposes and great feelings of that person who insulted him. t？ C put forward 100 revenge schemes, weighed the pros and cons in turn, and sorted out a set of very classic and perfect arguments. When he was about to speak, he found that the man had already left. (turtle hair grade: ★★★★★) ★ Libra: And Libra? They will face the insult with gentlemanly manners, keep smiling all the time, and then say: There must be a misunderstanding between us. It's easy to make friends. Let's sit down and talk it over! Then I will generously invite that person to dinner. (Ashley index: ★★★★★) ★ Scorpio: Scorpio will be very upset. Drink: Dare you say that again? ! That man still goes his own way. At this time, Scorpio will seriously say: XXX! Then I lifted my leg and left. After a few steps, I turned around and lost a sentence: I reserve the right to retaliate, and you will die ugly! (insidious degree: ★★★★★) ★ Sagittarius: A calm, outgoing and curious Sagittarius will always say to those onlookers with doubts: I don't know this person, and I didn't provoke him. Why did he insult me? It doesn't make sense! ! Why did I meet such a person? (Idiot degree: ★★★★ ★) Capricorn: I really wanted to kick that man's ass, but I restrained myself, carefully saw his characteristics, and then walked away without saying a word. A month later, the man was attacked n times. (treacherous. Cunning. Violence index: ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ ★ Aquarius: The decisive and rebellious Aquarius will definitely retaliate, but he will definitely retaliate in a way that others have never used before. (Innovation: ★★★★★ )★ Pisces: He will be very sensitive to other people's insults. He will take the risk of even breaking the law and retaliate by any means ... and fantasize that the police will not bother them. (Courage level: ★★★★★★)12 star is probably because the school decided to turn off the lights at 1 1 every night. I have been busy changing wires these two days, and as a result, there is always a power outage in my dormitory these days. No, there was a power outage today ... Aries rushed out of the dormitory and stood at the entrance of the porch or boarding department and shouted: Power outage again! Turn on the light! Do it or not? Hey! Who is in charge? Stand Up! We went to the playground to argue ... "Suddenly someone patted him on the shoulder:" Classmate! It's five past eleven! Don't affect others' rest! " Taurus calf slowly knocked on the door of the accommodation department, took out his calculator and said, "Teacher X, after my calculation, we use electricity 18 hours a day, which is 540 hours a month in 30 days." But this month, there was a total of 27 hours of power failure, so we actually used 5 13 hours of electricity. So, you should refund our 27-hour electricity bill. Before the housekeeper came to her senses, he added, "I'll give you a 15% discount for your kindness to us." Gemini Gemini rushed to the accommodation department and shouted, "Hello! Why did Teacher X lose power again tonight? What's the reason ... "Under Gemini's" torture ",the butlers finally told him that the power failure was due to a short circuit. The next morning, the headmaster rushed to Suk and asked, "I heard that a short circuit almost caused a fire yesterday?" Cancer has no electricity, so you can always make a phone call, right? "Mom, we have a power outage. Did you stop? Can the electric blanket still be used? Remember, don't use hot water bottles when using electric blankets ... what! My second aunt's third son's cousin's dry sister is also in our school. Well, I will definitely go to see her at once. " Leo had sex ... after "knocking down" the door of the housing management department, the lion said like a speech, "Teacher X, I will talk to you about the power outage on behalf of most of my classmates. It's ... it's good to control students' electricity consumption, but ... don't affect our normal life. I hope everyone will discuss it and find a solution, and don't make similar mistakes in the future. " Until the teacher nodded again and again, he left with a satisfied smile. Virgo God, why is there a power outage at this time? Shit! No brushing, no washing, yes! It seems that my hairstyle is still a little messy! Alas, I can't see if my pajamas are a little wrinkled without a light in the mirror ... Libra scales will sit in the dormitory and think, "The power is out, do you want to go out for a walk?" "Hey, this is not good. Will you be robbed if you wander around the school so late? However, it's boring in the dormitory if you don't go out. But it looks so cold outside ... "When the scale finally decided to go out for fun after 108 round of struggle, it was already dawn! Scorpio! The power went out again. Go and see if the scorpion next door has any candles. Hey! Why is the scorpion door open? Scorpio, why don't you light candles in the dormitory? Hey! Scorpion, where are you? Why don't you answer me? Ah! Why is the door closed? At this moment, a gloomy and weak voice came from my ear: "What are you doing?" Ah! Ghosts! Run! Only the scorpion is laughing in the dark dormitory. Tomorrow he will probably tell you, "What? Our dormitory is haunted! I also think there is something unclean in our dormitory ... "Sagittarius, the power is out! The moon is really good today. Let's go out for a walk. Hehe, even the street lamps are out! Hey! What's that PLMM standing there for? Oh, probably afraid of the dark and afraid to go back to the dormitory! Hey, hey, MM, don't be afraid, GG is coming! Capricorn oh, what's the matter? Power failure? I still have one form to fill out, two papers to write and three pictures to draw. There seems to be no power failure in the library opposite. That's great. Go there and continue my work ... when the panting Capricorn came to the library door with a big stack of paper, what? The library closes at night! @ # # # Aquarius Oh, why is the power off again? The bottles immediately wandered around with flashlights. Ah! The electrician GG is repairing it there. Let me have a look, oh! It turns out that these colored lines in this thick black line connect each dormitory. Hey, GG! What will happen if this blue one is connected with that white one? Look, the light in our dormitory is on! Haha, am I smart? What, now our dormitory is electrified ... Pisces, why is there no candle? I'm afraid of the dark! 5555, hey, the monitor is giving out candles to every dormitory. Ah, why did he send it to me first? It seems that he was the first to give me homework that day, didn't he ... Look carefully, the monitor is actually quite handsome ... Please. Fish, fish, you were sitting in the front row that day. Today you are standing in front of the hotel, and … your mouth is watering. After the power outage (funny) 12 constellation was expelled from school, Aries tore up the notice and rushed out. After a while, I came back from a nearby construction site with a brick, grabbed the school leader by the collar and throat: "Why did you fire me?" You say, come on? ! ! ""So ... So ... Is this Class Three? " "no! ! ! ! ! ！” "So ... so ... are you XXX?" "Not really! ! ! ！” "Er ... er ... then I went to the wrong classroom"-_-; Jinniu Niuniu was surprised to receive the notice, and then just stood there. "Classmate, you are fired! """..........." "This classmate, pack up and go!" "..........." "I know you are sad, but there is nothing you can do." "..." "Come on, talk!" "Alas ... Alas ... Alas ..." Gemini quietly pulled the school leader aside and whispered to the leader's ear: "Look, if you don't fire me, the school will increase its income by 25 1 12 yuan 35 points a year." "Well ..." "What are you looking for? If you don't fire me, the school canteen can increase income. If the school has a high income, it will provide a better environment for students. If the environment is good, students can study hard. ! There are other benefits, such as ... "At some point, I put two lollipops in the leader's pocket (this is not a bribe, right? ) "... 55555555" "Stop crying, class! ""555555555 ...................................................................................................................................................................... "Well, it's because I'm too late." "555555555 ... I didn't mean to! 55555 ... ""Oh, I'm afraid of you. Don't cry, I won't fire you. " 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 555555555555555555 "Students, I will be expelled from school today, and I may be expelled from you tomorrow. Can you stand it? " "Of course not, of course not! ! "Some people in the audience booed," This way of expelling students at will without any approval is a complete contempt for our students' human rights, don't you think? " "Yes, yes! ! ! ! "The audience is getting louder and louder." We must unite and fight to protect the rights of students. We can't let others bully us at will! ! We must resist ....................... A week later, the newspaper published a large-scale strike demonstration by students of XX school, but the school finally compromised ... Virgo "Haha, great" (Does it matter if you are expelled? ) "Are you all right, classmate? "The leader is very worried." To tell the truth, I don't want to stay in this stupid school for too long. The quality of teachers is poor, the school equipment is outdated, and it is said to be a lawn. There is no grass on it. The desk in this classroom is as hard as sitting on a tiger stool. The food in the canteen is disgusting. Half is food, half is upside down ... "(Omit here 1800 about the virgin judges)" At night in ...................., the door of the school leader keeps ringing. "Leader, you can't fire our scales. He is a good boy, but occasionally he makes mistakes. I am his eighth aunt. " "I am his seventh aunt, don't fire him!" " ...................................................................................................................................................... .......................... "……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ! After receiving the notice, Libra Scale went home indignantly. At night, the door of the school leader's house keeps ringing. "Leader, you can't fire our scales. He is a good boy, but occasionally he makes mistakes. I am his eighth aunt. " "I am his seventh aunt, don't fire him!" "................................................................................................................................................................................" Since then, strange things have happened to the leaders. On the first day, the tire of the school leader was punctured ... On the second day, the lock of the leader's house was blocked ... On the third day, the wire was cut ... On the fourth day, the State Education Commission received a tip-off letter about XX school ... A week later, Scorpion sat in the classroom with a bright smile on his face. Sagittarius shooter laughed after receiving the notice, "Ha ha ha ha ha, he was fired again" (as if he were very experienced). ! Now I have time to date MM and play games. Wow, hahahahahaha ... The more the shooter thinks about it, the happier he is. He just cleaned up and ran out of the classroom. But the only thing he didn't find was the name of the deskmate written on the notice ... Capricorn made up his mind after receiving the notice and must work hard in the future! ! ! Head hanging beam, cone biting, reading until 4 o'clock in the middle of the night every day ... After half a year, Capricorn became the first in mathematics in the city. In the past six months, Capricorn stood on the podium of the first place in the Olympic Games. Later, he was elected as the man of the hour in China 10, and won the Contradictory Literature Award. Then I took the GRE exam and got full marks. It is said in ............. that Capricorn was finally carried back to school by the original school with eight sedan chairs! The water bottle put up a finger and shook it in front of the leader. "No, you can't fire me!" ""Why not? Of course, you can be expelled if you violate the school rules! " After that, the bottle took out a large stack of books from the drawer (as if it were ready-_-:) "According to the general principles of the Constitution, there is no relevant content here: in addition, UNESCO has no relevant regulations, and the law is quite strict in protecting students' rights and interests. School rules cannot override the law! I'm sorry you can't fire me! " "But ..." "Nothing, but if you have any questions, you can contact my lawyer. The number is XXXXXXX. Okay？ " "…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ! !